Whoops, I have Internalized all the overthinking

The racing thoughts played on repeat daily
progresses into a fictional narrative
Further pushing doubt and insecurity

So easily hopelessness can turn into excitement and vice versa
when reflecting some may realize it’s not rational
But still, I’m convinced of my worst fears

Cold water running down the throat
Into an abyss of self-indulging emptiness
Tomorrow there will be mountains
Full stomachs leave less room in the chest

With all the changes in altitudes  
The body is questions consistency
I just want to float on sea level

At sea level you go in with the tide, transition to land with ease
and collect sea shells or glass
Without desire of being empty

I hope karma’s fake

I’ll confuse the universe

All this guilt I feel

Her long black curled hair
Shoulder blades and collar bones
Naked under a strategically placed towel
Candles and stripper heels.  

Seductive poses, he’s thinking about ******* her. Wanting her. He yearns for more. Wondering how this small frame feels.

My heart sank, dread filled my body
I expected to see fields and melting snow in that camera. Blinded while deleting all photo’s of you and I.

I didn’t deserve this, now I’m left with insecurities, anger and grief.
While you are just left with your lies and “erotica”

A lonely haven  
In bed, her legs astroon and face numb
hot tears drags across her cheek
And no one can see

She functions in a concrete box
Graffiteied with smiles and nice sentiments on the outside
Only to be relieved by a lonely haven

But rainfall breaks the silence  
Every sound slices her eardrum
Each trickle more agitating than the last
Hoping sleep will be a remedy  

There is no where else to go
Even nature wants her out of her lonely haven