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Mar 2015 · 244
57
57
i feel my fingers
sift through her hair
but i must remind myself
that she is not there
Mar 2015 · 702
children oh children
children
         oh children
stop listening to your elders
who knows you,
don’t you anymore?

children
         oh children
don’t you wish to change?
looking to the greats of the past is not changing,
(for the future does not live in the past)

children
         oh children
but it is what you are taught and taught
looking to parents who looked to parents to parents to parents
until the freedom of thought is ****** out of your mind
****** like the sickening slurping of the vanilla milkshake that the ****** in the corner sips on

whose name is
america
        america!
                  america!
i speak to your children
(for the children who will follow the ****** in the corner)
they will listen to the ****** in the corner
so they can become america

(for it is america who is perfect)

perfection
            oh perfection
you burn deep,deep into my veins
full of insulin, from the diabetes that america has claimed


******
       oh ******
it seems like i am your child(you are all children to me)
you won’t
         you won’t
listen
         to me
you are older than me
you will not
          respect me
but time seemed to change
and you stayed the same
  
america
Mar 2015 · 251
61
61
the snow
outside

the ice
outside

almost colder
than my heart
Mar 2015 · 300
The Golden Man
Head
bathed in
water.

The crowd
looks on
with joy
and acceptance.

But the
head of
the child,
the child
bathed in
water
is confused.

With a lack
of understanding,
the child
begins to weep
in front of
the crowd.

Every
single
human being
in the crowd
chooses not
to acknowledge
this weeping
of confusion.
For they
find it to be
a common
normality
of baptism.

The lights
are bright,
the ritual
is over
the crowd
applauds.

Yet I contemplate.

Does the crowd
take 2 limbs
of skin and
cells, (which
are connected
to an even
larger body
of cells
and skin
and bones)
and move
them through
the air,
then emit a
sound only
when both
of the limbs
meet each other
in holy matrimony.

No, the question.
The question is,
why does the
crowd clap?

Must they reward
the confused child
for not understanding
the lines
and the curves
that form the
letters,
letters
that form the
name,
a name
of goodness
and of gold,
A name
of power
and of authority.


Jesus Christ!
It’s Jesus Christ.

Does the crowd
clap for Jesus,
or the child?

Hell, what about
both?

Here’s a theory,
maybe the
people in the
pews dressed
in their formal
gowns and
their suits
move their
hands together
to symbolize
the beginning
of the child’s
lifelong relationship
with that
golden man,
spread out upon
that lowercase t.

Every child
must need that
extra man,
that golden
man to
guide them
through the
hardships of
life, because
you know,
the human race
is too stupid
to do anything
alone.

Because God
always has to
know where
his kids are.

So they do
not sin.

You can’t
break the
rules.
Or else
you my
as well be
dead when
you die.

Because when
your sinful life
is over, you
go to hell.
and live
out your
life-after-life
burning.

Yet is this hell
true?

While writing
these words,
I am alive.
I live in
on earth,
in America,
oh God,
America.

The America
that is yours,
God.

You’ve won!
You see, these people
listen to you,
the holy one!
You are our
parent,
our favorite
parent,
our only
parent.

For you are
the reason
for the season.
Yeah!
Merry *******
Christmas.

I’d just like
to thank you
for making me
both rich and
white.

It looks
pretty cloudy
outside. It
might start
raining, raining
Bibles from the
sky.

I hope one
does not hit
me.

I see adults
waiting outside
with their wicker
baskets.
Waiting to grab
as many copies
of the holy
book from
the bookstore
in the sky
called heaven.


So rain! Rain
from the heavens!

Let your children
of earth
use their brains
to eat
the body
and drink the
blood of
Christ.

Pick up the
Bibles that
have fallen,
pick them up
like picking
the vegetables
from a
garden.

Put them in
your wicker
baskets
and take them
take them
to the next
generation.

To the confused
child, freshly
washed like
a vegetable.
Never teach
him to open
his eyes.

So he’ll
never see
that Satan
fell from
the sky
too.
I would consider this my best work.
Mar 2015 · 335
60
60
keeping myself from
loving you
is the hardest thing
i've ever done
Mar 2015 · 345
3
3
blue
were her eyes  
gleaming like sapphires
she would look at me
and I would be drowning
Mar 2015 · 223
4
4
god
i wish she knew
inside im screaming
i love you
Mar 2015 · 298
59
59
darkness runs through my veins
i feel it run to my soul and back
but i am a good man
             a good man
             a good man
             a good man?
Feb 2015 · 464
composition 1
hair
        brown,long,straight
eyes
        blue,deep,blue
face­
        features defined,nothing she can hide,
body
         features defined,nothing she can hide,
                                  nothing she can hide,
                                  nothing she can hide,
body,                         nothing she can hide,
oh my god                                she’s ****.
                                      completely naked.
jesus christ her ****

****
sculpted so perfectly,pale peach raindrops   that     had    f
from the heavens dotted with the slightest hues of pinks  a
eyes                                                    ­                            l
     my eyes                                                             ­     l
            scroll d                                                               e
                     o                                                              n
­                     w
                      n
“can i look f u  r    t     h     e       r?”                                     her head nods
                                                            ­                        (does my mind deceive me?)
my eyes
      scroll like the wheel on a mouse
stomach
              my eyes touch her
stomach
              my sight touches her
stomach
          I
c                  an’t
u                nderstand
  r              eality,
  v          ­   erging
e                ver so closer,
d        o          i continue?
now I must think.
What is this ******
  this women
  but only an object
an object to my ****** fantasies
  no it cannot be!
I will not let this idea of objectivity be the end of
me
women are not objects
    never will be objects
               but if objects are not women,
is this reality of the girl that i see
only fantasy?
well will you look at me,
i’m not pretty,
i’m         ugly.
so the girl that i see
probably wouldn't ever,
                            never
take her clothes off for me
maybe
maybe
maybe
we were never supposed to want women
for they do not like what is ugly
                                              and ugly is me
(how can i see?)
i just want to love
i only want to love
           let me love
let me see please oh
                                  this body
this beautiful dream I see
    (it’s not real)
       (never real)
this love is only
                      may always be
a fantasy
st
    ru
        ct
            ur
                 e
structure in 5 paragraphs(5 perfect paragraphs)
you see, it's
l
  e
    t  
      t
        e  
           r
             s
on a conveyor belt
letters organized organized organized
into words organized organized organized
into paragraphs organized organized organized
into papers(into perfection)
assembled into Perfection,
                        is it human?
NO!
                    you *******
it's not.
humans cannot  
              willnot
be anything close to                   perfection
all this organizing is only            dehumanizing
if it leads to something that one cannot achieve
if one says something is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT
2 billion others will say
          f*ck you
               you're wrong
and you probably are
       either way
               majority rules
everything
               is
               a true imperfection
for there is always a time when the conveyor belt bre aks
there are beautiful women all around me
(there are none who really |see| me) all they
see is an |imperfect| man(all i |see| is
nobody)for it is my |invisibility| in my reflection, all from my
d e p r e s s i o n

(all i |see| is nobody) this grand oppression coming from my
d e p r e s s i o n is what makes me so hard to |see|( here is how you find me ) first you must stop and look (look with your heart) do not look with your eyes, maybe you will |see| what i have done here

you                                                          see
it
was me who held the door,
                                it
was me who said hello to you,
it
was me who tried to be |perfect|,
  who tried to impress,
but                                                        still
i
am
ugly

i
am
the
invisibility
in my reflection

this is my
d e p r e s s i o n

and all i see(and who will ever see me)
is
nobody
Feb 2015 · 308
i live in the love of you
before i fade away(i wish to cut into my soul and divide it away)and throw it across the steep moonbeams that i view, reflecting in your eyes(i give my soul to you, my love)  someday(one day)you will find me deep, still true in your  mind(for it is your mind where i cannot fade)

i live in the love of you(for you,forever you) my darling

— The End —