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we would throw pennies in the fountain
but never make any wishes and
our last goodbye felt like the sinking feeling i'd imagine the pennies felt          
when we threw them because it was so useless
you told me that you loved me even though
you and i both knew
it was a lie
I always knew it was
your love it was like a drug that was bound to break; a rubber band
that had been stretched and used far too many times
yet it was that same rubber band that I had around my wrist
and I never took it off because
even with all the lies and the excuses
all the drunken nights and
worthless apologies;
i loved you

in the songs that you would write the day after we had a fight
you would compare me to bottle caps;
the ones that you would so easily pop
but when you would write your songs you would compare me to
the bottle caps that reminded you of innocence
of your childhood
you told me that I reminded you of the bottle caps you collected
from the farmers market across the street
the same farmers market where we stained our teeth with stolen cherries
you compared me to the bottle caps that brought you happiness

i wish i could say the same

*i threw a penny today into the fountain
and made a wish;
to forget the sight of your smile when
it was stained with cherries
I don't know what to say.
I can't even explain to you how I feel.
I guess in simple words,
I feel used and abused.

You were everything to me.
I cared so much about you.
I gave you everything I could.

What was I to you?
Just some *** object you can use and abuse?
Just a *** object so you can fill your fantasies.

Did you even see who I was underneath my skin?
Did you see me as me?
Did you just hide me behind the images of your *******?

What was I to you?
Just some *** object you can use and abuse?
Just a *** object so you can fill your fantasies.

Well I got some news for you.
Listen to what I have to say real close.
I am human being.
I am a girl with a open heart.
You took advantage since I fell for you hard.
You broke my heart.

What was I to you?
Did I mean nothing at all?
Just a *** object you can use and abuse.
Just a *** object to fill your fantasies.

Your compliments mean nothing.
When I look you in the eye,
I can see that you just told me a lie.
I tried to hold on.
I guess I tried too hard for far too long.
I am finally to the point, where I am just numb.

What was I ever to you?
Just some *** object you can use and abuse?
Just a *** object to fill your fantasies.
That is what I was to you.
I wrote this poems to explain what it was like to used for *** and how wrong it felt. 8/29/2014
*** toy,
That is all I am to you.
One who will stay close to you.
A girl who is in love with you
but that is something you'll never see.
I am just the girl who ***** you.

A *** toy,
With beautiful looks and devil eyes.
I could pleasure you for hours
But your the type that only lasts minutes.

A *** toy,
I wish you would desire me.
Instead you just want to hurt me.
I cant take the *******.
I am not your fantasy.
Stop making me your *** toy.

A *** toy,
For when you are bored with your hand.
When you are feeling cold and alone.

A *** toy,
I can never say no.
As I lay there with my legs up in the air.
While you whisper all these ***** things inside my ear.

A *** toy,
You will never understand.
You just use me for your pleasure
To make your ******* fantasy.

A *** toy,
that is all I'll ever be.
My boyfriend is addicted to **** and he will never admit it. A *** toy is how I have been feeling lately.
I picture my funeral,
people dressed in black,
which cut loose the rope,
tightening my neck.

I have questions i can't answear
while i am still alive,
like would she shread a tear
if i really die?

i have things that hunt me
while i sleep,
i have one enourmus problem,
my life is hard to keep.

tonight i'll picture my funeral,
and people dressed in black,
as i tighten the rope,
and put it around my neck.
Those Eight letters rose and fell
With a breath

                                       Perfection whispered     them back to me as well.
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