its takes 15 steps forward just to catch up with the others. i misplaced the words that came out of your mouth. i thought you said death, but you said debt. they aren't so different either way but i feel like an idiot. while i feel very lost at least i don't feel stagnant. feeling changes has to be a symptom of something.

i hope that, if you ever feel not ok
or lower than low
if you ever feel hate,
or are blessed with love

that you know that your apart of a family
that is here for you
whomever you may become

were all doing too much
and sleeping too little
the clocks running out
and im not sure what we'll become
but i can only hope for the best

keeping my eyes above sea level
was never what i wanted

i am most upset with myself for not being honest
for saying the next time will be the time i come clean
now everything is so messy
i feel like its better to leave it as is  
and go back to being alone rather than try to tell you now,
i can't even envision what would happen after that

if your too busy
then i assume you dont care

the world is bigger
the world is brighter
there is more to accomplish
always more to do

more to love
more to change

i cant believe this
i love you
not who i thought
but who i am

to dance around in circles
im getting straight to the point
you care about the graze of a look
and the touch of the skin

but i never cared who you are
only what came between the if buts and whens