surviving but in a different kind of way
thriving off the art, the ideas, the concepts
its really all i need to live,

but when i cant support myself in the ways the world wants
i feel less
less than average
less than special
less than anything
no money, no food, no sleep

but trying harder and giving my everything
and that should count for something

its already been an hour. I  have a paper to write and a life to figure out by 3. coffee on my teeth and progress on my mind. the life i made for myself is all mine. but it took some time to realize, that life is more fun when you look at what else is being done, the amazing people that live, and the breathe that hangs low and makes you keep moving. it means more when you realize the process is the progress and the work is simply acquired time. not everything happens perfectly but everything happens the way its supposed to.

and thats just something that takes time to understand.

but you will soon,

and i pray for the day you do.

all the hard work
and all the days to look forward to
all the time we put in

its all paying off better than we ever thought it could

and everything we went through
with greater lengths  
all the times we thought we wouldn't see it through

we made it and this is just the beginning

if you move forward, you impact more than you'll ever believe
just one shake makes the whole picture

spinning around in circles
is only worth it if you get better each time
and you stared me down in my backyard
and hoped to find out whether or not i survived

but that was never the point
and now it is never enough

as long as we keep
floating,
we're drifting
and spinning away

further apart and my hands hurt
if i let go soon
the trees will be bleak
and the sky will bleed the red that runs from my eyes

all forgiven
and we run through the color corrected forest
hoping that this will be over soon

writing the pain away
until my soul wont ache

and my sense of humor comes back
and I start seeing color in my day

because this black and white is hurting my eyes
and the lack of energy you're giving me is deceiving