The saddest part
Is I have no one to blame
No one to be mad at
Because my only clear enemy
Is myself
My thoughts
They hold me hostage,
They conjure up things
I so naively believe
They drag me onto the battlefield
Against a reflection of myself,
My negative thoughts.
My opponent attacks me with words
She viciously convinces me
Who I am is a waste
And I attempt to fight back,
But I’m powerless
How do you defeat your mind?
She continues to attack,
Calling the razor to kiss my skin fiercely,
Until it is I guiding it
And I am defeated
I know this is what she wanted
And I’m sorry
I have not only lost the battle,
I’m so tired of fighting,
I’ve lost the war
I’ve lost to myself
I’ve lost myself
But in this moment
I am noting
I feel nothing
But the all too familiar
Emptiness
And the longing
To end it all

I have an angel doll that looks like my mom on my wall, I cant look at it or bring myself to take it down.
2. I'm scared I'll only be in abusive relationships
3. I think I hate my mother.
4. I'm terrified I'll end up like my dad even tohugh I love him.
5. I discount my feelings till i fall a part.
6. I don't know if i want to recover from self harm.
7. I pretend to like bands so my friends dont hate me.
8. When I got lonely I sent strangers pictures of my body.
9. I almost killed myself 8 times last month.
10. I don't think I will ever love anyone.
11. I love too many people.
12. Being called annoying makes me cry every time.
13. I don't remember almost anything before 6th grade.
14. Sometimes I can convince myself I am dead.
15. When i get upset i lock myself into my closet and cry.
16. None of my old friends talk to me anymore.

The random mysteries in the universe are unrelated.
Pure lies

no matter what I say or do
all i can do
is want to die
feel the feeling slip away
so that some day
i wont be taken advantage of
that maybe someone can love
or perhaps i could find the respect
i should already expect
looking at those pills
they are beautiful which kills
the girl who is taken for granted