social
anxiety
trying to find the fight in me
the part that doesn't say
just don't go
just stay home

I woke up wanting to kiss you...
oh wait, I never went to sleep,
and if you were missing me in your dreams
it's because you were walking on moonbeams with me.

You've not yet left my thoughts,
not once since the first time we spoke,
and that's no exaggeration, baby,
I would crack under the pressure of that tasteless joke.

But how can I sleep,
your name keeps ringing in my ears,
you're like one of those bees you want to swat away but you're too cute
and you help make the flowers grow so how the hell could I say 'no'?

These flowers that you planted in my chest
keep me rooted but my petals are always willing
to take flight on your flitting wings to new lands
because adventuring with you would be the best new beginning.

And at the end of the day we'd collapse into bed
and you'd whisper, 'buzz, buzz, buzz,' in my ear
right before you pull my lips to yours and kiss me
but there you go again drifting off to sleep.

I never blink.
I am small and curious
and move only of my own volition,

When you shut your eyes
you think you see me.

I will hide from you
in crevices of the mind
you still have no conception of.

I am all you ever lost
down the back of the sofa,
on the street drunkenly at night,
between your lover's tangled sheets.

I will cut you down.

I am small and cold,
i shimmer in the moon's dim glow
You can only make out,
that which i prescribe.

I am ethereal.

I can't lose her,
not this one,
not this time.
She is everything I've waited for,
she fits perfectly in my life.
I can't think of it,
I'm begging her not to hide,
she's making me lose my mind,
did I lose my mind?
Did I? No.
Did I? No.
Did I lose my mind? "NO."
I tell myself as I remember all
the times my grandpa said he
knew a shortcut and it took us
twice as long to get where we
were going.
I want her to meet him one day
just so I can turn to him and say,
"hey grandpa, this is my girlfriend."
And if he falls of his chair so be it,
cuz I know my grandma will be
looking down at me smiling,
happy to see just how happy she makes me.
My grandma she will never get to meet,
the one woman who was so important to me,
but she will know how much she meant,
she already knows, and she will find pieces
of her in every other person in my family,
she'll find in them just where I got my crazy.
I'll just have to remind her that no matter
how long it took us, my grandpa always
got us to our destination,
and I promise myself that her and I,
we will most definitely get to mine.
There is no doubt in my mind that she is
the one I want in my life.

lately, i've been jealous
of the attention handed out
by people who shouldn't
matter to me

he didn't have me
sweating on his
bedroom floor
he didn't have me
crying with my head
in the toilet
he didn't have me
locked outside
my own rib cage
he didn't have me
like you did he didn't
have me like you did
he didn't have me

I realized a lot of things
For one- Running helps
Two- late nights are reserved
Three- summer is here
Four- i cannot rhyme
Five- what am i doing

Six- i shall see you later