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 Feb 2015 Sadie
Redshift
stomach pregnant and distended with the weight of calories consumed
sending sharp pains shooting

empty stomach acid gnawing at my intestines
feels better than this
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Redshift
i hope you find my redhair in the backseat of your car
on your clothes
on your pillow when you lie down to sleep
and i hope that these remnants of me
remind you
that you
******
up
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Sia Jane
“I’m in love with everyone I’ve ever met in one way or another.
I’m just a crazy, unhinged disaster of a human being.”*

Edie Sedgwick

---

                                                  ­                               I am the undone woman,
                                                                ­      mistaking myself
                                                          ­                      for the girl,
                                                                ­               others always see,
                                                            ­                  even at the call of my name
I most often, walk away

                                                           ­                       I rise & fall with the tides
                                                           ­                       standing in the abyss
                                                           ­                      shedding tear drops alone
                                                           ­                      gazing at black skies;
a full snow moon

I am a piece of the sky
a jigsaw puzzle
completing this Universe
I too inhabit

I am the cracked mirror
shattered pieces;
seven years bad luck
but as the cat,
I have nine lives
of counter attack

I am all the lovers
who pass through me
caresses that have graced
my inner thigh, the ecstasy
we reach simultaneously
during the love we make



In the absence of another
pieces of myself dilute,
I only know myself
by the ink I bleed
as I write these words
you read.

I am your canvas,
a picture book
coloured outside the lines
you call me your art

&, when,
the coffin door
closes shut,
you will know
I am nothing more,
than a Factory Girl,
misidentified as;
a thousand forms of fear.

© Sia Jane
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Redshift
i feel the hot edge of hysteria beginning to creep in behind my eyes.
i become very still
tense
poised for flight

i do not wish to go to the doctors, darling.
i do not want them to tell me what i am so afraid is true
can we just pretend
one more day?
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Redshift
i am not flowery.
i am not poetic.
there are many more adept than me.

i simply wish to express
the best i can through the language that i am confined in
the truth of emotions
the purity of rage.
the truth is
that the truth is
of complex design
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Sia Jane
The Crow
 Feb 2015 Sadie
Sia Jane
You became dust
at the falling of another
biodegradable relationship
I'm kicking up ashes
from a paper urn
decaying beneath
where feet now tread

The Centre of my Universe
in just the palm of one hand
a completed process
no bone fragments
of shards, just ashes

b
   l
     o
   w
n
a
   w
a
y


Our whole world in mere
grains, each part of us
ground into ounce weighing
particles; each a tale of
experiences shared

It was a mourning
a funeral service
without a death, only
grief racing through
my every vein

I'm dressed in black;
veiled
my skirt dragging along
gravel below, I know
as the crow manifests
it's time to let go

cah
cah
cah


Times are to change
a passing of the old
rebirth of
my beloved

Candle light forms
shadows, as night draws
closing in, &
I understand

Life is ephemeral
my appreciation grows
&, as I lift myself to
the temple
I scatter what remains of

us
     us
          us


&, as darkness falls
carried by the crow -
our communicator,
he crosses us from
this world
to the next.

© Sia Jane
 Sep 2014 Sadie
Sia Jane
Perhaps gratitude;
blessed by an
all telling moon,
dragging such subconscious
thought, to the surface
could suffice.
A momentary crisis
this poet; elegiac in mood,
amour propre; a deadly
reliance upon dragons
caged by their own
circumstance.
Blowing fire,
but not until
seductively, their
deviled selves
masqueraded;
abounding self pity
virtuously disguised,
lachrymose stories.
"Come a little closer..."
she was told.
Trusted, naive girl,
bitten, burnt
touching, hand in fire.
"This time will be different."
she was told.
And,
the girl, lost, in
bubble dreams, born
of, raging storms
believed; that love was true.
This princess of,
masochistic pain,
nothing blood red,
gushing, just
invisible violence.
"Believe me when I say;
you're the best I've ever had."

she was told.
Vertigo; medicated
by love, sailing back to
shore, cutting the rope
knife in hand, promised lands.
Scenes of lamination; screams;
she forgot...
The moon dropping low,
honey dew, stars flew -
she awoke,
to the knowledge of,
all her subconscious knew;
whispering;
"The dragon resided in only you."

© Sia Jane
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