when i was a child
my father never checked the closet
i never asked him too
i knew what was hiding there
the secrecy and the skeletons i lay to rest
i kept it shut tightly
locked and sealed
like my mouth
never open long enough
for anyone to know what was going on inside
not even a locksmith could pry open
my closet doors

closed doors
no sense of light
put your hand on mine
when cracks form
color will pour through
your head on my shoulder
a foot more or two
making out shapes

you kiss me
and the door breaks

in back alley ways and missed phone calls
i let the world know i couldn't stay
i waved goodbye to the front door
as i walked to the end of the world
i gave my body permission to decay
and gifted my soul to the north
i took a bite out of the sea
and rejoiced it overlayed
the acrid taste the pills left in my mouth
i layed down to take my bow
and woke up in the same place
and i don't know why i woke up.

girl,
with an accent of blood
a foreign tongue
vowels that sound of metal clashing
warrior,
with fire flowing through her veins
armor for skin
feet that crush the earth beneath her
immortal,
with electricity streaks through her hair
iron filled lungs
each breath invitingly toxic
princess,
with lips of silk
a voice cut from steel
thunder and war in her bones
heroine,
with a grin made for battle
eyes speckled in ash
striding, powerful into the arms of death.

i am...

A-bstractly addicted to absolute abuse
B-y basketcase boys with nothing better to be
C-autious when I caught chaos
D-riving me delutional day by day
E-ven when everyone echoed into my ear
F-uck this familiar fatal feeling
G-oing after guilty guys
H-ardly having healthy habits
I-njuring my inner innocence
J-ustifying jaded *******
K-indly killing all
L-ackluster lovers so they dont
M-ention me making mistakes
N-ever not nervous
O-ver obsolete oblivion
P-inky promising people to stay
Q-uietly questioning my
R-eason to resolve all emoitions ripping right from my
S-tomach snaking their way to satisfaction
T-hrough tounges I never even wanted to taste
U-nable to grasp unhappiness
V-isiously turning up the volume
W-aiting for any kind of wasted warmth
X-eric eyes
Y-et again teary
Z-oning through endless time

until i'm right back where i started...