shining on high, she looks down and smiles
we catch each other’s eye…twinkle
she, a planetary body
me, a man who watches… for a while

each new morning we share this time of peace
as day begins to break anew
before the sun or waning moon
the cool autumn and the sound of the geese

Venus glowing on her heavenly ride
I, but a man, confined to Earth
hold her sway if only fleeting
cloud passes by, the moment pushed aside

on the morrow we shall meet once again
as is the custom during Fall
seeking her on the horizon
months I wait for this affair to begin

an October love that lasts all the year
I see her when no light doth shine
looking to the sky expectantly
She looks down on me, and I shed a tear –

slight ache in my right shoulder blade
let’s me know stressors have been mounting
building slowly, at first
with a struggling child in college algebra
a wife irritated with her perfect job
an old dog leaving a tinge of red behind
when he pees on leaves
I absorb –
late payment
and a new billing statement
showing disregard for salaried employees
direct deposit on the last day of each month
means the last week of each month I do my best
poverty impression
complete with meatless spaghetti and dry oatmeal –
slipping back
I put on my hustla hat
and try slinging the cure
for pennies and a greater credit score
but the flooded market has everybody sitting
with slit eyelids and orange fingertips --
nothing to do now,
but wait

Oh, happy life!
filled with loving caress
engaged conversation
proper nutrition
why must I look away
and focus instead
on the inconsequential irritants –
knowing my connection
as ‘part of’ I am
everything
too
yet I feel enveloped
caught in a quagmire
constantly seeking
some universal sign –
writing from work
in a satisfying and fulfilling
career, I look through bars
knowing outside is where I belong
helping men who exude graciousness
by offering education
looking at the foothills
longing to be lost –
much of the time
humans deal with duality
living and experiencing
while longing and seeking
I am a human
these things happen to me too –

sweeping winds
spreading change
across a barren landscape
void of hope
morality
lacking comradery
unity
conscious co-creation –
micro-particulates
throwing the status quo into fits
as the poor unite
against the “Right”
replacing oppression
optimistically
lightly dusted
cosmic radiation meets
karmic justice
revolution battle royal –
sidelined with enhanced spectacles
the view distorts
as capitalism
invades
social reform
seeking to place monetary value
on human life –
alternative air
fills the lungs of the awake
eyes open to the horror
of destroyers
convoyed
far away independent states
wait
for air-raid sirens
and the endless project
clearing rubble
and burying children
for freedom –
feverishly seeking fools
willing to go to the front lines
civil unrest
is placated with modified corn
and fluoridated water
we argue about a ****
and morality issues
while in our (American civilians) name
empire is built
and maintained
“one nation
under god”
means
global superpower in full control
of resources
energy
water
media
and what you think and eat
once again
based on freedom and democracy –
I may see the end yet
at least to this way of life
‘cause if nothing else
one day death will take me
altering my perception of reality
changing me
into a new wind –

I find myself
playing the United States
favorite home game
as I watch what I eat
and leave obesity behind –
moving towards a 75 percent, 25
percent ratio…
plant based with animal condiments
excommunicating dairy, processed sugar,
wheat, and anything from a box or can
in order to be the best me
the world has ever seen –
driving by fast food hell holes
feeling myself try to justify
fighting the good fight
for a healthy and long life
but the mind **** lingers…
encouraging me to have just a little
once in a while can’t hurt
denial of one’s desires is downright
un-American –
still, the pounds fall away
and my demeanor improves
finally feeling as good inside my body
as I feel about the things this body does
and is involved in…
internal peace
to match my external happiness
so worth less pie –

confiscated memories
taken to dark rooms
with single 40 watt bulbs
swinging overhead
casting alien shadows
and adding to the air
of uncertainty
grainy photographs
lay haphazard
askew and strewn
as if by a child
or inconsiderate adult
making a symbolic point
children faces
from summer camp
classmates in spandex
eternally living 1991
teased bangs
and hanging wallet chains
the images distort
colors blend and fade
new images arise from the swirl
birth elation
and passing family
lost pets furry snouts
smear into the eclectic
bandaged knees
bees stings and mother’s kisses
slight pressure builds behind one eye
as a strange pull exerts force
indirect
vows and flowers
powerful allies
cash gifts and glass dishes
showered
blank polaroid’s dot the tabletop
washed-out black with lens flares
sun spots
orange hues, circular and non-committal
slowly alter and develop angles
first front porch swing
splinter banister
and sanding the space
currently void of tile
flashing stashes of mix-matched socks
boxes of books
cooking thanksgiving.

they sit quiet, lost in though
when the steady red line matches
the single tone
…sighs escape pursed lips
when the littlest member asks,
“What was he thinking about before he died?”

hard-liner approach
half-dead dog
next to a pile of ****
brand new carpet
ruined
bloodied fists still clenched
ache for a new target
something to blame
someone to hurt –
broken tooth tells a tale
of drunken brawling
for the honor of a **** head *****
******* **** for bus fare
in the warm glow of the downtown public restroom –
fluorescents flicker
peeling paint, discolored
stains, upon grime, atop rust and smoke damage
*** sprinkled toilet seat
draped with pale skin and *****
guilt is worse than food poisoning
in the cold hours of the pre-dawn
cool refreshing porcelain
giving pause to a pounding head
momentary reprieve
single drip of sweat travels the long journey
along a stubbed jaw line –
sickened by the visual
moments pass as the scene is etched
mind’s eye holding the image
forgoing the polaroid
sending it straight to the long-term banks
so for all my life
I can look back in clarity
at my shortcomings
and failings as a human –

Ravaged, brittle skin
flaking, and scarred
reflects back,
granting insight into 40 years
abuse and misuse
karmic payback
in the form of arthritis.
Creaking knee pops and snaps
giving substance to movement
beyond simple motion;
creating an ambiance,
a veritable orchestra,
to standing up.
Looking back
gives my neck a tweak
instantly stabbing
and shooting into the back of my skull
for the next few hours
I lay in the dark
with a cool compress
trying to rid myself of
a silly headache.
I think I should try
eating a bit better
and combine that action
with a certain level of physical
activity;
that way,
you don’t have to read any more
of this ****.

Paul Simon wrote a tune
going on about the soles of a woman’s shoes
and the diamonds therein…
not to be outdone, I will attempt to regale you
with my own tale of diamond feet –
t’was approaching dusk
when my compadre and myself dropped
the lovely little purple tablets
two each...
was a ’94 Nissan that took us from Salem to Pacific City
and nestled us safely into Bob Straub state park
tracers and shadow images were starting to disrupt
and we began the long hike to the mouth of the Nestucca –
darkness was all around ‘cept the amazing starlit sky
not a sliver of moon shown
and the tide had slipped away quietly,
we found ourselves in the flats
a slight reflection of the stars on the wet sand below
and instantly we were both transported into the vastness of the universe
surrounded on all sides by nothing but the glimmering of a billion individual stars
(…. I am sure if I had took to spinning endlessly
like a small child in the summer sun,
I would have disappeared entirely
blending forever with the cosmos that engulfed me….)
I knew at that moment why my ancestors
high on ergot
thought the world flat –
we joined each other on a small spikey grass patch
and commenced smoking pipe full
after pipe full
discussing our connection to the everything
and the minuet nature of man
without ever saying a word…
those in the know, know
all we got from the pile of **** was thick slimy spit
and the desire to keep moving…
so back down the three mile stretch of sand we went
aiming at a fogged-out
barely visible street lamp
signifying the parking lot and the safety of the little grey Sentra –
at some point along the return journey,
in a moment of playfulness,
my dear friend kicked a small amount of sand in my general direction
the explosion of diamonds and refracted light prisms
which danced across the spread pattern
fanning 15 feet from his worn house shoes
was more than we could believe.
I kicked back with slightly more vigor
we watched glittery sparkling sand fly
catching each other’s eye, huge acid inspired smiles took over
first just a little kick, then diamond glitter in all directions
then a soccer star punt
shooting stars across the sandy beach
each new step
a thousand disco ***** reflecting off the calm sea
each kick,
more diamonds than all of South Africa…….
It was this trip we made the conscious decision,
“two people witnessing the same thing is a confirmed sighting;
and therefore really happened.”