I dream
As we sit in a star laced scene
I wish I could be your everything
Yet
As the words form on my lips
I realize a kind of awkward thing
you can't be that to me
I know that sounds kind of ****-ish but let me explain
I'm not incomplete
And you're not my missing piece
So why do I want to be yours
I don't want to be your world
I want to be my own
And if that means that we're not in each other's orbits anymore
So be it
For, when the night places things where they're meant to be
I know that I can't be your everything
Because you're already complete
There is no hole for me to fill
Or a gap where I perfectly fit
Or any other one of those pastel pictures
That we love to define love with
You are more than that
and the love that we share
is not some dependent creature
Needing our constant filling
For when I am the only one giving
I am certain it will devour me
So let it be
Place it on a shelf with the rest of your trophies
because we must either start again or end whatever this is
For dependence must never be confused with love.

I don't know anymore
I don't know where I stand
In the grand scheme of things
It used to be so easy
When the lines weren't so definite
And crossing them wasn't such a big deal
When the painting could easily
Surpass the frame
Which acted almost in the same way
As a dare to set free
The dream that was held within
But now the frame has become reality
And the dream has become a boundary
Between what we can achieve
And things we can only strive to be while we are asleep
Now it's almost considered insanity
To reach for the things that we know would make us happy
I am told that I can only believe in things that can be seen
Anything other than that is stupidity
I am told that there is no more room for mystery
Yet I reject that for I know that there is more
More out there then what we've been told
And that is what I hold to be true

I am a member of the human race
And I am just starting to know what that means
I remember a point at which I prayed to be different
To be able to view things from a distance
Because being human means being hurt
And then in turn
Hurting others
It means to speak free
And then think that means
To have the power to demean
To use those words to destroy
I wanted so badly to be above it
But I'm afraid I could never stand so tall
Yes, I am human
But I'm not broke
For I have hope
I speak free
Yet my words mend
And not because of me
But because of the one who lifted me up on my feet

Religion taught me to fear
It told me to deny the aches of my bones
As if there was something inherently evil about it
That this body that God knit together
Was destined to be broken
I'm starting to doubt the height of the mountains
Because of the depth of my current valley
Have I always been here
Was that hill I stood on
Merely a mound in a canyon
Yet there is one thing I am sure of
That God is and was always here
Offering to take this burden
While there was me trying to believe that there wasn't one
Because I liked it
It kept me inside the lines
And each time I would wander too far
Send me a crippling shock of fear
And now, only while looking back,
Do I realize that I want more

I am starting to fear that I am loving you to death
That the silent faith in this quiet embrace
Is pushing you the wrong way
I know that you waver with the passing days
But I can't find it in me to say
Or scream, or yell, or do what it would take
To make you even turn your gaze
To just see how you are so far away
I know where your path leads
Yet I stay silent
I mean I may share
A whisper here or there
But that is far from what you need
You need me to leave
To let my absence speak louder than the words I never said