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Ryan Bowdish Dec 2010
What would you say if I told you
that every time you were near me, i got a little nervous?
Or that butterflies punch me in the stomach any time you smile,
and your eyes make my chest heat up about 200 degrees,
and when you laugh i cant help but smile

and what would you say if i told you

you were a goddess, a genius, a beautiful woman fit for a world with no pain, a [female young messiah], an ideal
a woman in which every woman should wish to touch and every man should wish to steal

After all this, I said that if I had the power and the mind to do it, I would have convinced you to be mine years ago...

Flutter on, because as we know
We're destined to grow
Not tonight, but...
Maybe tomorrow.
[Female young messiah] belongs to Yoni Wolf of Why? I borrowed the line.
Ryan Bowdish Dec 2010
Frozen in shock
Frozen in sleep
Opening wounds
While I weep.

Lonely, left behind
They laugh and walk on by
And she's never quite as high
As she is when I try to die.
Ryan Bowdish Dec 2010
#50
The one that balanced out the flag.
The Aloha state, palm trees glinting and feathered
Like a heart, to a streetlight, tethered.

This is where your intelligence hides
While you lay inside an empty motel
Nothing but the smell of gunpowder
And sweat, and her tears on the barrel.

Who are these people? They keep breaking down the walls.
I don't know if they're fighting or making love,
These Days,
which is to say,
has there ever been much of a difference anyway?

Ice being shuffled by a small, Spanish woman
Who moves silently between doors
Crowing like a bird, to keep the house
Clean, raw, like her hands.
Strands of hair hanging loosely in front of her forehead
Dangling like your fingers in front of my face
Trying to take hold on my thoughts.

The machine hums a steady frequency
And makes ice
She thinks of the power box outside your Hawaiian home.
The emptiness is humbling.
Heatwaves are rolling along like leaves would
If there were any trees to drop them.

The body among the bed, lying in a heap
Of loose teeth and lost sleep
Of licked feet and low upkeep

When the clock strikes, you can't hear it.
All you know is the sun turns white.
And the coyotes begin to howl and whine
Under the black skylight.
The date is December 11, 2010. Please leave feedback.
Ryan Bowdish Nov 2010
Powder, pulse growing louder
Coward, sour pint growing
Flowers, under my blue veins
Southward, outward up from a cave

Debase, erase, retrace, relate
A growing ******* *****
Eyes flying backward
Seizures coming and going
At their leisure, constantly glowing
I love my spine
But I want to lose it
So I don't have to use it
I'll feel right to abuse it

Obtrusive, under dissolved
Sometimes I feel like it's up on the walls
Always my fault, the simplicity
Of leaving life behind in favor of animosity
The thought crosses me, and the tamer tosses meat
A chance to breathe, desert floor underneath
My scorn disease, burnt and crumbled cities
Everything disappearing, wasteland empty

I don't like this life, it's bureaucracy
Everything we do is pen and paper
Transactions
Distractions
From the true inner peace
The true outer soul
Ego is gone when the world burns.
Ryan Bowdish Nov 2010
There's lead in my teeth.
When I smiled, the bounty on my head
It increased.
My twisted snarl is a symptom of disease
Soon I'll be
Deceased.

Leave me no option,
Save, to buckle
Under this leaf.

A man with antennae.
I can taste the tension
In the air. I love this part...
We release.
Ryan Bowdish Nov 2010
It's over
No more distractions
Curtain's closure
Save your reactions
Not sober
Justified actions
Come closer
We are a fraction

Love, listen to the earth
Speaking to my eyes
Entering the web
Shove me into a curb
Leave me where I lie
Watch the car flip

Gas leaks
Shards of glass afloat
God speaks
The words my father wrote
Our arms weak
Heads in the radio
Your fingers creak
Blood in the raincoat

Soft, unspoken eyelash
Staring into the sun
Kissing thunderclouds
Dogs barking in the rain
At people they don't know
Echoes on my radio
Cough up my keys again
I can not understand
Why this feels unreal
Hogs passing my remains
It plays on over again
Bodies unconcealed.

(It's over)
(It's over)...
Ryan Bowdish Nov 2010
Tonight my sheets are so cold
And my body is like ice
And angel, truth be told
To sleep with you'd be nice.
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