moving with you
arching bodies
flowing with
your breath
heart beating

I'm not okay.
I can't speak.
It's hard to breathe.
My body is restless
But it can't leave the bed.
I'm crying without reason.

I can't even find the words and writing is what I love but you guys I'm losing my passion every day and I'm scared for myself.

I want to tell someone.
I want help.
But how do you tell
A stranger that
You're dying.

Frozen in this dance
For now or for
Forever.

She's the gift
That every birthday
Has been leading up to.

Frost doesn't care
What anyone thinks.
It moves to its own music
And then waits
To see the repercussions.

A life where your only enemies
Are heat and a window scraper.
Destroyed designs
Are nothing to cry about.
Jack Frost will come around once more
When the sun goes down
And the scraper is put to rest.

Words of kindness, of affirmation, are fleeting. But words of hatred, of spite and anger, cling to your skin like paint holds fast to a canvas. They dry up and create an image upon your heart. An image of insecurity, of low self worth, of depression and little faith. They drip into your veins and leave streaks of color on your fingertips. And no amount of soap or scrubbing will ever take away the stain. Nothing can remove that pain that is felt when words of fury are flung upon you. Carelessly applied with an overused brush.

Come home to me
I beg of you
My love.

You want flowers?
I'll grow them for you.
Food?
I'll learn to cook.

You'd like some music?
I'll create it.
A special song?
I'll sing for you.

All my riches?
Take my wallet.
A brighter sky?
I'll paint it blue.

Anything you ask
I will provide for you
My love.
Come home to me,
I swear that I'll be
True.

Merry f*cking Christmas
And everyone's drunk.
All spirits are dim
And my heart has near sunk.

"I love you." she says
And she means it.
"I love you." she says
And it's true.

"I love you." he says
And he needs it
To hear her say
"I love you too."

"I need you." he says
And he means it.
"I need you." he says
And it's true.

"I need you." she says
And she needs it
To hear him say
"I need you too."

"I love her." she says
And she means it.
I love her." she says
And it's true.

"I love her." she says
But she fakes it
And all except her always
Knew.

"I need her." she says
And she feels it
"I need her." she says
And it grew.

"I need her." she says
But she knows it
Is a need that will never go
Through.

"I'm sorry." she says
And she means it
"I'm sorry that I love her too."

"I'm sorry." he says
And he pleads it
"That this has been troubling you."

"I'm losing." she says
And she means it.
"I'm lost and don't know what to do.
I love him and her and I mean it.
And I know that they both love me too.
I won't leave his arms to go with her,
For I know her love isn't true.
But that will not stop all these feelings
From popping up out of the blue."

we will love while we are near
we will love from afar
we will love with every sunrise
with every sunset
with every snowfall and rain storm
with every change in the weather
and with every flavor of the sky
we will love

I need no explication
For why your kiss is on my lips.

ink
in the form of
flora
and
fauna
pressed into
your skin
ankles
wrists
arms
and back
covered in color
and light.

There's no way to explain it.
There's nothing I can say.
The world moves on without me.
I cannot leave this day.

I'm trapped within it's barriers
There's no way to get out.
And no one seems to hear me
When I yell and scream and shout.

You bring about
The parts of me
That I have been dying
To meet.

So simple
So sweet
So secure

I feel you in my hands
Clutching your hip bones,
Clinging to your arm,
Wrapped around your fingers.

I feel it.

I see you in my mind
Watching you walk the room,
Seeing you smile at me,
Looking at your eyes, your lips.

I see it.

I know what you want.
Forever with me,
Together with me,
Both of us as one.

I know it.

I feel you.
I see you.
I know you.

And it's all there.
And it's all together.
And it's all tucked away.
Filed under "what if?".

Don't forget my loving,
My longing or my coveting.
Don't forget my loving
Of you.

it's getting dim outside
you were all things light
now you're moving away
i suppose the sunlight
follows you

How did I fall in love with you like this?
How can you fall in love without even knowing it?
Without being in control?
That shouldn't be allowed.
Please, cut it out of me.

It's not right, loving you.
Not this way.
Not with everyone looking on
Thinking we're just friends.
Not with you
Thinking we're just friends.
Not with me
Pretending we're just friends.
Lying to myself every time I see you
Every time I hear your name
Every time you cross my mind.
**** you for always being on my mind.
On my stupid stupid mind.
I'm so obsessed.

Perhaps it's best you move away.
Perhaps it's best you find me odd.
Perhaps it's best you keep your distance
Your distance from me.

I'm no good for this thing we have
These absent minded kisses
They said don't fall in love with you
But I can't
I can't
Help it.

Even when I pretend that you hate me
Even when I play it out in my head
You far far away, never to see me again
I still feel the same.
I can't get rid of you.
I can't.

And it's killing my work
It's killing my college
It's killing my spirit
It's killing my fun.
Oh what to do today?
Something productive?
Or shall I daydream of you?
As if I could reason with myself in that way.

You're all there ever was in me.
You're what I've waited for.
And how absolutely perfect it is
To miss my chance
TO NEVER HAVE IT
How could I have it.
I just can't have it.
I can't.

**** you.
I love you.
**** you.

And in that very first touch
Of your delicate fingers
On my shoulder
I saw all that we would be.

I saw the heartbreak
I saw the sorrow
I saw the hurt

And I jumped anyway.

Don't you tell her.
Don't you ever tell her
That she's the one that I can never leave.

She knows I love her,
Not in the way she thinks
But what's it really matter in the end.

She'll move away
And she'll never know
That she's the one that taught me of true love.                                            

And I'll go on living
My perfect ******* life
With the man that I love so ******* much.

So don't you dare go tell her,
Don't you ruin what I have
Because it'll all sort itself out some day.

And she'll go on believing
That I love her as a friend
And I'll move on as she moves away.

water and air
and a toss of your hair

a little blue
and every thought of you

and nothing she did was unrecognized

I get so mad.
I don't know why
I wish that I could stop
Myself from yelling at my mom
And glaring at my pop.
At times they don't do anything
(I said I can't explain)
Yet I react
So horridly
(I can't help but complain)
They don't deserve my anger.
They don't deserve my rage.
So I will write my madness out
And leave it on the page.

I want to get a point across.
To write something that lingers.
I want to make a masterpiece,
Let beauty flow from my fingers.
I want to write a piece of work
That's truly worth your while.
I want to ask for just an inch,
And really take a mile.
I want to live a life that's free
Where people see the good.
I want to sing out in the open,
Not just say I should.

Her lips
And your kiss.

Her eyes
And your sparkle.

Her movements
On your body.

If I could
Mix and match
Your pieces

Make you dance for me
Make you comfort me
Make you love me

This new concoction of
Mismatched parts
That don't belong together

Well
I must say
That I'm doing just fine.
Hell, I don't even think of you as
Often as I
Used
To.

the first time
that our eyes met
we clicked.
my heart felt a flutter
when our hands collided
and when I saw my reflection
residing in your pupils
for a single shining moment

I no longer felt alone.

Why is it that
When I speak
I cannot draw my eyes
Off of your lips?

And when at last I look up at you,
You do not meet my gaze.
For your eyes are strongly fixed
Upon my mouth.

So why must we stop our eyes
From speaking up
And interrupting our words
For a kiss?

And now
It is time
To get to know myself.

What a frightening
Wonderful
Thing.

I'm sorry that I'm broken.
I'm sorry that I'm used.
My mind is like the city streets
And my heart has been abused.

Your face was so familiar to me,
Having seen it when I closed my eyes.
But now my sight is fading
And with it your affection
Leaves my lips.

You're

gone

and
I
can't

breathe.

Have you ever smiled for days in a row?
Non stop.
Come what may.
Car trouble
People trouble
Personal trouble
Doesn't matter.
Just a smile on your face
So genuine and true.

What caused that?
Find it.
Keep it.
Pursue it for the rest of your life.

The middle of the night.
In plain sight.

Don't be afraid
To do what
Feels right.

My desire just to hold her,
Tucks her chin into her shoulder.
Pulls her lips up.
Brings her lids down.

"You close your eyes when you smile."
"Is that not right?"
"You're just missing out on something beautiful is all."

I'm not okay.
But I will be.

Who is this *******
Who gave me permission
To do things like
Love
and
Kiss
and
Desire.

What kind of a person allows that?

Did they not realize
That I would crave
To act on those
Behaviors?

Of course I will love.
Of course I will kiss.
Of course I will desire.

But why would someone gift me
Things that can
Hurt me in return?

Unrequited
Unwanted
Uninterested

How cruel of the person
Who gave me permission
To try.

Beautiful, beautiful people
They play upon my mind.
The taste they bring about
Like the sweetest caramel from
My favorite candy store,
Which I visit weekly.
Much like these beautiful, beautiful
People.

These beautiful, beautiful people
To my left and to my right.
How can you expect me to get work done
While they're standing by my side?
Their electric smiles light up the room
And I use their glow to read.
To read upon the pages of their lives and all their longings.
To learn and once to study
All the movements of their bodies.
Like music as they're walking,
As they're sitting
Breathing
Talking.
Like music from their beautiful, beautiful
Souls.

And is it so surprising
That we have Michelangelo's David
With his Sistine Chapel and statue of one man.
We can all give recognition to
Leonardo Da Vinci
With his stunning Mona Lisa
And her beautiful, beautiful
Smile.

So please do not berate me
As I gaze upon your shoulders
As your hips are making movements,
Telling stories on the streets.
I simply cannot help it,
All these beautiful, beautiful people
They's never cease to be
The only thing upon my mind

Don't love me.

I love in the form of
Sobs and shakes.

I build up affection
Then I rip you open
And I tear out your heart
And feed on your feelings.

I'm a monster.
And a coward.
And if I can't have you
I'll leave you heartless
Just like me.

Today has been a rough one,
It brought me to my brink.
It kept me from all bubbly laugh
And caused my love to drink.
My heart is drunk, my voice is sunk,
Alas, it cannot swim.
I'm broken, I'm unspoken,
And my spirit has gone dim.

It's time for bed
I have to go
To sleep now,
It is late.

I'd like to stay up longer
But tomorrow cannot wait.

So I will lay my head down
And for hours be sedate.

Till the sun comes up
To greet the sky
And play at Heaven's gate.

Speak to me.
This stranger business need not last
If you'd open up
And spill words out.

I'd love a drink.

And my god it's going to be impossible
To find someone to love now.

Because before
All I had to do
Was find someone who held
A little bit of her
In them.

Her smile or
The way she glanced my way.
The toss of her hair or
The way she bit her lip.

But now
Look at me.
A mess.

It appears I must have fallen.

Because while I'm searching for her
I find myself looking for more of you.

I'm just not feeling anything anymore.

Life through the light
was lovely
and clean.
Darkness hides
a mess.
***** little things.
Such a stigma
to what lies in
shallow corners.
The desire
the need to bring it
out into the sun.
Let it be.
Let them see.
Shut your eyes.
Welcome the night.
Let it be.

Who do you have to cry to
At 3 o'clock
In the
Morning

I miss you.
And I can't make sense
Of how
Or why
Or what
Makes me miss someone so dearly
Till I feel it in my gut.

And it wouldn't be so baffling
Had it been another time.
For I haven't anyone to miss...
It seems to be that I'm

All alone down here.
Just missing you,
You, whom I've never met.
And though I know it sounds impossible,
I cannot seem to let

This empty feeling leave my bones.
Once hollow to the core,
Now they're filled up with this loneliness,
They're always craving more.

That even if you are having
A rough tough time in life
You are always allowed to have
A good day.

You never really left
Even though you're gone.
And I don't know how
I'm going to move on.