I'm looking through
a piece of
glass
that I
found on
the beach- and
through the warped
exterior- the rippling
surface of its sea-soaked skin
I see myself looking
back at me
against a
backdrop
called
the
sky

I'm a reflection
in a
shadow and
I don't know why
I love you,
like I do,
but I do,
and I'm looking
at a piece of
beach-glass,
hoping to find
you.

Podium

That’s me on the totem pole,
with the face paints and cigarettes.
The smoke burns your eyes.

That’s me on the pedestal,
ears to ground and eyes in the clouds.
The rain soaked your skin.

That’s me on the platform,
with the rucksack and treasured artefacts,
The timetables melted your mind.

That’s me on the podium,
soaked in sweat, medal around my neck.
The track broke your heart.

That’s me at the finish line baby,
maybe,
we could go back to the start.

Tonight I’m playing snakes and ladders with my pleas.
My forefingers massage the temples on my forehead.
My eyes are shut tight; even the moon is too bright.
I’m bowing my head to the stars to hide the shame
covering my skin. Each shooting star highlighting
the scars you left on me. I’m begging the night please
let me go. I’m rubbing my eyes. I’m picking mascara
off my eyelashes. I’m pleading with my heart please
stop loving her. My hands move around my neck,
they’re choking me. It stops my heart. It stops my
heart beating for just a few moments. I gasp!
And then, it’s the grasping and grappling of my
finger tips digging into my collar bones.
I’m tightening my grip. I’m holding; I’m holding
so tight, I’m bruising my skin, and my finger nails
are piercing my skin. Now, I’m clawing.
There’s nothing left in me. Even my shoulders cave
in; my collar bones rungs on the ladder. My
grip loosens and I drop to my chest bones,
letting my feet rest on my ribs.
Tonight I am playing snakes and ladders with my pleas.
If I fall any further down the snake of my spine, my
only hope is gripping the vertebrae and climbing back up.


© Sia Jane