i don’t seem to be
having any effect
now falling all
over the place

my mind spatters on canvas
another piece of evidence to my madness

i spill my speculation
and wallow in my damnation

the wind whirls with thought
just another useless idea caught

life has no exact description
dictionaries are just fiction

language has evolved
yet no new problems have been solved

more wasted acrylic
on something i wish was idyllic

my artistry has withered
and fantasies have been embittered

but i will live with the vacant
as i am just now nasent

White powder pills,
one lone light atop the hill.
i want to stop breathing.
i can’t stop feeling.
i try to convince myself
my shivers are just chills.

i surround myself with thrills
just so my mind will still
i want to stop dreaming
my mind can’t stop screaming.
i tell myself i can sleep
if i force my will.

we held hands
and
the night was dark