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  Sep 2015 Roo
Alfred Lord Tennyson
"Mariana in the Moated Grange"
(Shakespeare, Measure for Measure)

With blackest moss the flower-plots
Were thickly crusted, one and all:
The rusted nails fell from the knots
That held the pear to the gable-wall.
The broken sheds look'd sad and strange:
Unlifted was the clinking latch;
Weeded and worn the ancient thatch
Upon the lonely moated grange.
She only said, "My life is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

Her tears fell with the dews at even;
Her tears fell ere the dews were dried;
She could not look on the sweet heaven,
Either at morn or eventide.
After the flitting of the bats,
When thickest dark did trance the sky,
She drew her casement-curtain by,
And glanced athwart the glooming flats.
She only said, "The night is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

Upon the middle of the night,
Waking she heard the night-fowl crow:
The **** sung out an hour ere light:
From the dark fen the oxen's low
In sleep she seem'd to walk forlorn,
Till cold winds woke the gray-eyed morn
About the lonely moated grange.
She only said, "The day is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

About a stone-cast from the wall
A sluice with blacken'd waters slept,
And o'er it many, round and small,
The cluster'd marish-mosses crept.
Hard by a poplar shook alway,
All silver-green with gnarled bark:
For leagues no other tree did mark
The level waste, the rounding gray.
She only said, "My life is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said "I am aweary, aweary
I would that I were dead!"

And ever when the moon was low,
And the shrill winds were up and away,
In the white curtain, to and fro,
She saw the gusty shadow sway.
But when the moon was very low
And wild winds bound within their cell,
The shadow of the poplar fell
Upon her bed, across her brow.
She only said, "The night is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

All day within the dreamy house,
The doors upon their hinges creak'd;
The blue fly sung in the pane; the mouse
Behind the mouldering wainscot shriek'd,
Or from the crevice peer'd about.
Old faces glimmer'd thro' the doors
Old footsteps trod the upper floors,
Old voices called her from without.
She only said, "My life is dreary,
He cometh not," she said;
She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

The sparrow's chirrup on the roof,
The slow clock ticking, and the sound
Which to the wooing wind aloof
The poplar made, did all confound
Her sense; but most she loathed the hour
When the thick-moted sunbeam lay
Athwart the chambers, and the day
Was sloping toward his western bower.
Then said she, "I am very dreary,
She wept, "I am aweary, aweary,
Oh God, that I were dead!"
Roo Sep 2015
Death is not a destination.
Death is encompassing.
I smell it when I breath in the rusty stench of blood on my fingers.
I feel it in the pain that reverberates with each step
as if I had driven a nail into the bottom of my boot and I felt it every time it hit the floor.
Death is not a destination.

It's woven into the fabric of my skin,
using a thread so thin
it echoes the line between what makes me a bad person and a good person who does bad things.
It echoes the line between life and death  but in a different way to the finishing line of a race because
death is not a destination.

It's the ball of rage that is fired up within me
at the slightest of things.
A reminder that I can't ever escape but can't quite tick off my list.
Death is not a destination but a feeling deep within me
and no matter how far I reach with my sharpened blade
I will never find.
Besides, I can no longer wish death upon the body I spent painful years learning to love,
the defenceless pulse nor my eager heart.

Death is not a destination,
but it is mine.
Whether it be warm or cold
it will welcome me.
I will be entering myself,
the most secret crevices that I found
the day the sadness took hold.
I will escape.
I will be free.
TW!!! please stay safe friends <3
  Aug 2015 Roo
Autece Soul
Never fall in love with a poet
for their words are sometimes lies
on occasions they're a shield
on occasions a disguise

They will take you on a journey
upon which they bare their soul
in a bid to ease your burdens
in a bid to make you whole

But in every word they choose
for the stories that they tell
lies a little piece of heaven
and a little piece of hell

Tormented souls we poets are
sometimes quite broken and despaired
in search of lost expressions
missed by others who once cared

Never fall in love with a poet
unless you're prepared to share their pain
to hold them close on the darkest nights
over and again
  Aug 2015 Roo
Cierra Spina
B
Today was goodbye
It feels different this time
Before
I knew you'd be back
Now
I think you might stay away
And I'm not sure
Where that leaves us
But I'm broken
As we fought
It bruised me deep
Cut my heart
Made me weep
And now I lie here
Wishing to go back
Take away the pain
Of watching you pack
I'll see you again
Maybe not now
But this isn't the end
It was just
See you soon
Words I should've said
It's done and over now
You're my best friend
We'll be okay some how
And maybe
When we meet again
We will realize why
Neither of us is very good
At saying goodbye
08-25-15
Roo Aug 2015
There is an orchestra on my neck shaped like your pulse*
and I feel it when your teeth graze.
I feel it when your face lights up like a puppy when it greets its owners.
I feel it when I pull away from our kiss and you look at me like there is
nothing else*
you would rather be seeing.
I feel it when people say I will hurt you
and for a second I might believe them.
But then the orchestra starts to play and I am reminded that to hurt you
would feel like
death.

I can feel the love reverberating through my body like a warning sign.
It's been a year since I was last in love and can I afford to try again?
Then your pulse begins to play as the orchestra in my neck
and I scold myself for letting
the insecurities take over.

Since we first kissed,
I have reminded myself repeatedly that I am not good enough
for anybody.

Since we first kissed,
you have reminded me repeatedly that not only
am I good enough,
but that I am good enough
for you.
*** AFTER "DURING THE MONTH" BY SIERRA DEMULDER. DIRECT QUOTE IN BOLD ***

this is part 1 to my "Niamh 26/08/15". The dates symbolise the beginning and end of our relationship as well as when I wrote the poems. I actually sent her this poem just before she broke up with me. I was building up to telling her I was in love with her.
Roo :)
Roo Aug 2015
The time has come to start anew,
new fears and pains that stem
from you.
Part two to "Niamh 24/04/15". The dates symbolise both when I wrote the poems and the beginning/end of our relationship.
It's supposed to be wary, unsure and scared of the future.
Roo :)
Roo Aug 2015
She is the plane you are crashing.
The rusting, dusty ex-service plane
that you took on and rebuilt.
Inch
by
inch
she improved.
You did not merely add a lick of paint, making her glow
whilst her engine only rotted further.
You dug deep to the root of the problem and
once you were done you flew her
up,
up,
up,
and higher.

She is the plane you are crashing**

She is spiralling down whilst onlookers frown
and murmur and comment
on the bullet shaped holes in the fuselage.
Yet they did not look close enough and failed to see
the absence
of the most important component to a healthy, working plane.

Further inspection of the flaming cockpit reveals the
replaced buttons and stickers,
now covered in safety measures of no use.
If you press the wrong button
this creature will explode
around you and
for everybody to see.
They will point and they will laugh.
They will point the finger of blame.

Yet nobody thinks to question the absence of the most important component to a healthy, working plane.
Nobody thinks to question the absence of the pilot.

The pilot of the plane he was crashing.
***AFTER "AT FIRST SIGHT" BY SIERRA DEMULDER. DIRECT QUOTE IN BOLD***
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