You tell an innocent joke
About cutting or suicide
Not really knowing that
I'm sitting next to you
Just wishing I would
Die

You say that cutting
Is the funniest thing
In the world, why
Don't you tell that
To that poor hurting
Girl

All you ever do is
Laugh about
Suicide, but do
You know how it
Feels, to wish that
You would die

You tell a harmless
Joke, but to me its
A another cut, it
Reminds me that
My life is in a rut.

You laugh at me for
Crying , you say that
I'm a ***, my heart
Grows a little smaller
It’s  beat begins to
Lag.

It's hard to get out of bed these days
Or do anything at all,
really
Everything is so dreary
Sadness is all around me
It's in the people and the air and the water
I'm suffocating slowly
Choking silently
Or at least that's how it feels
My morale for this strange battle called life has sunken like a ship
It's hard to stop thinking that it shouldn't be a battle
It's hard to stop thinking about being elsewhere
It's hard to stop thinking about being bodiless
How I long to see what's next
But I know that I'm to stay here
Deal with dignity, all of the drear
It's not because there's pain in death, that I fear,
But hurting those I love so dear

A wind driven paradigm shift in consciousness
Substituting bees for taxing people , birds for airplanes
Trees for worldly hope , blue sky for avenues of pained thought
Grass , a welcoming neighbor ..  Sun , a warm lover

There is a nest of birds inside my body
Trying to peck and claw their way out.
I can feel their wings beating
Bruises onto my insides

Their ever flapping wings
Stir my stomach into knots
That I can’t hope to untie.

Every time I try to speak
My mouth fills with feathers
And I have to swallow hard
Again and again
To keep from choking on them.

They’ve pecked holes in my mind
These restless creatures inside me
So that I can’t understand anything
The way I used to.

I know they are trying to escape
That they are trapped inside me
They mean me no harm, really,
still, most days I feel
More like the caged bird
than the cage itself.