I'm not one for these new times
I guess I belong in the past
Time once went by slowly
Now, it goes too fast

I don't know facebook
I don't tweet
In fact I don't know what that means
I belong in yesteryear
When men still cuffed their jeans

I guess I'm just an old school fool
An old school fool, that's me
I guess I'm just an old school fool
That's what I'm proud to be
I guess I'm just an old school fool
The good times now are gone
No one wants an old school fool
I guess that I will just move on

I don't get the music now
There's no song I like to hear
I'd rather sit and read a book
Or watch tv with a beer

Technology is far beyond
What my mind can take in
I do not use an atm
Because I do not know my pin

I guess I'm just an old school fool
An old school fool, that's me
I guess I'm just an old school fool
That's what I'm proud to be
I guess I'm just an old school fool
The good times now are gone
No one wants an old school fool
I guess that I will just move on

About a mile out of town
Past the village in the mist
Sits a tiny Country Church
Not found on any list

It's for Catholic and Baptist
It's for Protestant and Jew
It's doors are always open
This church is here for you

The town is near two hundred
The Church a few years more
There are tales about this building
That are part of local lore

The church is small in stature
But large in who it serves
It's a place to go and worship
It's a place to calm your nerves

The pews are hard and narrow
Carved by hand you see
One has crumbled through the years
So in all there's thirty three

Seventeen pews on the left side
Sixteen on the right
Hand carved with love by someone
And all are painted white

At Easter and at Christmas
The Church is full as it should be
And as one of those who enter
I say, it's something you should see

The pews seem so much whiter
When the voices sing so loud
If it could be witnessed by it's builders
I know they would be proud

There are carvings in the church pews
Left by many through out time
On the second one in on the left
Is my brothers name and mine

The pews are worn in places
They've supported many souls
Who have come in here for comfort
They have come to be made whole

The one pew that is broken
Was fixed but once more broke
It was decided then to leave it
By the elders, local folk

The minister in charge then
Stood and told those who were there
"To fix what keeps on breaking"
"Wastes time, we could better share"

"Besides, look all around you"
"The pews, there's thirty three"
"To you, it should hold meaning"
"Think hard, and you will see"

"Remember, Christ our Saviour"
"Think of his age on his last day"
"Thirty three, that is the number"
"Now, think on that next time you pray"

"The Church pew that is broken"
"Can't be fixed, so let it be"
"It's as though it was intended"
"To help give strength to you and me"

The Church out in the Country
Will stand longer than me
And will witness many Christmas'
From church pews ...all thirty three.

If you've loved a cowboy
You know it can be tough
A cowboy's soul is different
They're made of sterner stuff

A cowboy loves forever
They are always moving on
But one thing bout a cowboy
That love is never gone

If you love a dreamer
You have to see in space
You know you've got a dreamer
You can see it in their face

A dreamer sees the future
They have to know what if
Thoughts always in motion
Flowing water, never stiff

Cowboys and Dreamers are one and the same
Loving one or the other can be a strange game
Cowboys look skyward to lasso the stars
Dreamers catch starlight and they put it in jars
Cowboys and Dreamers they have the same mind
Cowboys and Dreamers are the best loves you'll find

A cowboy's a loner
They believe what they see
They live by a code
Of what will be will be

A dreamer sees something
Where others ask what
They can not keep grounded
And they answer, why not?

Cowboys and Dreamers are one and the same
Loving one or the other can be a strange game
Cowboys look skyward to lasso the stars
Dreamers catch starlight and they put it in jars
Cowboys and Dreamers they have the same mind
Cowboys and Dreamers are the best loves you'll find

A cowboy who dreams
Is the one you should rope
They know that true love
Take work, not just hope

A dreamer can cowboy
They'll see the same stars as you
They'll lasso those stars
And they'll want the moon too

Cowboys and Dreamers are one and the same
Loving one or the other can be a strange game
Cowboys look skyward to lasso the stars
Dreamers catch starlight and they put it in jars
Cowboys and Dreamers they have the same mind
Cowboys and Dreamers are the best loves you'll find

You can love a cowboy
And a dreamer as well
If you're unsure of which
Ask your heart, it can tell

A cowboy has dreams
A dreamer inspires
They're one in the same
Burning two different fires

Cowboys and Dreamers are one and the same
Loving one or the other can be a strange game
Cowboys look skyward to lasso the stars
Dreamers catch starlight and they put it in jars
Cowboys and Dreamers they have the same mind
Cowboys and Dreamers are the best loves you'll find

Don't fence in a cowboy
He'll just move along
A dreamer must dream
To not would be wrong

Come along for the ride
No matter how hard it seems
Whether cowboy or dreamer
Hold on to those dreams

Cowboys and Dreamers are one and the same
Loving one or the other can be a strange game
Cowboys look skyward to lasso the stars
Dreamers catch starlight and they put it in jars
Cowboys and Dreamers they have the same mind
Cowboys and Dreamers are the best loves you'll find

Winter Vacation was coming
The kids were all set
They were thinking of Christmas
And the gifts they would get

But, Millie sat waiting
Thinking of nothing but snow
Watching the class clock
That was moving so slow


They did arts and crafts
Made cute cards for their folks
Sang old Christmas songs
And told old Christmas jokes

But Millie, our Millie
Was miles away
Thinking of Michigan snow
In which she'd soon play

She packed up her things
Then the bell filled the air
She waved to the teacher
And burst out of her chair

Faster than reindeer
She was gone from the school
Off to get packed
For a vacation so cool

She ran all the way home
She had sweat on her face
Left her books at the door
And grabbed her pink case

Millie was ready
With one thing on her mind
She was off to see snow
And leave the sunshine behind

She'd packed and unpacked
Twice every night
Now she was sure
That her bag was packed right

Winter vacation
In the north in the snow
She'd be there in hours
Just one night to go

She tossed and she tumbled
But she woke right at five
She showered and dressed
She felt so alive

They loaded the car
And they left in a rush
Millie was set
And gave her hair a quick brush

They got to the airport
At nine twenty two
They checked her small bag
Which was nearly brand new

They went to the gate
They met a woman in tan
He said "Hello, there Millie"
"I'm your steward...names Anne"

"Before we go on"
"There's someone else you should meet"
"He's a pilot, our Captain"
"And his name is Pete"

She kissed Mom goodbye
And she kissed her dad too
Anne took her aboard
To sit in seat number two

Millie was nervous
But, excited as well
She told Anne her feelings
Anne said "I won't tell"

The plane taxied out
Left the ground with a roar
Millie's tummy, it rumbled
Like it had never before

Anne came and sat
In the seat by her side
She said "Look over there"
"Those are clouds right outside"

Millie and Anne
Talked all the way there
Of the Christmas to come
They made quite a pair

The Captain announced
They were all set to land
When the plane hit the ground
Millie grabbed Anne's right hand

The big door then opened
They got off of the plane
At the end of the ramp
She saw her cousin, named Jane

Her Grandparents met her
Thanked Anne, said good bye
Anne said "Have a Good Christmas"
Millie said "I'll certainly try"

Jane and her brother
Had come for Christmas as well
With her Grandparents and cousins
Christmas was sure to be swell

They went to pick up her luggage
And then go out to the truck
Her bag came out first
It was her Christmas luck

The first thing she saw
As she held Grandpa's hand
Was no snow on the ground
This was not what she'd planned

Her parents had told her
About the Michigan snow
About snowmen, and snowballs
And the wind, how it'd blow

She kept quiet, said nothing
There was no snow to be seen
As she looked out the window
The grass was still green

Maybe, just maybe
I'm early she thought
It'll snow here tomorrow
Today is too hot

She played with her cousins
Called her folks about four
Rode bikes that her Grandpa
Bought them all at the store

Nothing was different
It was just like at home
No snow blowing white
Nothing fluffy like foam

She went to bed early
It had been a long day
She kissed her grandparents goodnight
And then hit the hay

She dreamed of the winters
Of the snow on the ground
She dreamed about snowmen
And climbing up a snow mound

The next morning she woke
Ran and opened the drape
Wrapped it round her neck
And looked outside, with her cape

Green as could be
For as far as she looked
There was no snow here
Millie felt she'd been rooked

She sat quiet at breakfast
Made barely a sound
Then she asked Grandma
"Why's there no snow on the ground?

"My big Christmas wish"
"Was to snow, snow...for real"
"It's just like at home"
"Grandma, what's the big deal?"

"We've had some strange weather"
"It's been warm every day"
"They just do not know"
"How long it will stay"

"I'm sorry dear Milie"
"This is just how it's been"
"I'm afraid that this Christmas"
"Is one that is green"

Millie, sat silent
Went outside then to play
There was no snow coming
There'd be no snow today

Depressed as she was
She had fun, best she could
Riding bikes around town
It was fun, but not good

With one day till Christmas
She called up her Dad
In the call she then told him
Of how she felt sad

She loved both her cousins
And her grandparents too
But, she just couldn't go
And do what she wanted to do

She'd come up to the north
To have some fun with the snow
She wanted to leave
But, she'd not let them know

They had dinner at six
Millie went up to bed
She was asleep in a moment
Christmas dreams in her head

At seven oh three
She woke up, looked outside
And she stood at the window
With her eyes open wide

The front lawn was covered
There was snow all around
She woke up her cousins
Down the stairs they did bound

They opened the door
To a yard full of white
Christmas had come
Bringing snow in the night

Out on the road
She says other kids too
All in their pjs
And some with no shoes

They were all throwing snowballs
Making angels as well
this was what she had wanted
Christmas was gonna be swell

During the night
While the kids were asleep
Out to the arena
Grandpa did creep

He'd called in some favours
Got the snow from the rink
Then they brought it out here
"Christmas magic" they'll think

The kids can't have Christmas
With no snow to be seen
It just isn't Christmas
With a yard that is green

Phone calls were made
To some other rinks too
And the ski hill as well
Knew what they must do

A parade of dump tucks
And machines that both blew
Came to help Grandpa Joe
Make Millie's Christmas wish true

It lasted four hours
Then it melted away
But, for Millie, our Millie
It was her best Christmas day

Wishing is magic
And dreams, they are too
So, believe just like Millie
And make your Christmas wish true

Pa ran inside,
All out of breath
Ma said "slow down"
"you look you've seen your own death"

He shut all the windows
Closed the shutters, the doors
He went to the cellar
And locked the trap doors

"Out on the hill there",
"You can see by the tree"
"It's a horse from the Devil"
"And it's waiting for me"

Ma said "you're crazy"
"There's nothing outside"
"Least all a horse"
"That the devil would ride"

I went to the window
To check for the steed
Pa said "Don't open that up"
"That's all the room that he'll need"

"He's come from below"
"To take my soul down to hell"
"And his horse is the warning"
"I know...I can tell"

The mustang stood waiting
On the hill, all aflame
Was it devil or horse
Were they one and the same?

Pa was still shaking
He had sure had a fright
There was no way that we
Would get to sleep on this night

Pa then told Mother
Of the deal he had made
With the Devil himself
In the cool of the shade

A prosperous ranch
The envy of all around
With all of his problems
Put six feet underground

Dad said he'd reckoned
That the deal was all done
When the crops out the back
All burned up in the sun

He knew that the Devil
Was calling in for his share
When he saw the horse burning
While no one else gave a care

"I have to get through now"
"To the morning past dawn"
"Then the horse will return"
"And the deal will be gone"

We listened intently
We were sure Pa wasn't sane
But, we knew from his tale
He had nothing to gain

We'd take shifts in the night
Keeping the devil at bay
Only twelve hours to go
Until the next day

It would be an adventure
We would trust in our faith
Of dad's tale of the mustang
The flaming horse wraith

The night was a battle
The devil tried to get in
He worked on our hearts
By making deals sweet with sin

Do we turn in our father
Or do we fight till the morn?
Could it just be a ruse
Burning one field of corn?

To see how it ended
You must come out here and see
The scorch marks in the grass
On the hill by the tree

You can believe what I've written
Or hear what Pa has to say
But, it was the Devil's Mustang
Came that night for to play

It was a hot summer night
Nearly ninety, I'd say
When out back of Giovannis
The Bluesman sat down to play

He pulled up his crate
Took a sip from his flask
"This here's my med-cin"
"In case someone happens to ask"

He started a story
That we'd never heard
We're the folks of the street
And we followed each word

It's a tale of James Withers
A man in need of a hand
But to us on the street
He was the Sand Castle Man

The bluesman strummed gently
He didn't want the words to be lost
For this was a story
That had a hell of a cost

You see, James the sand man
Lost a life to the sea
His grandson, young James
Drowned when he was just three

Each day James went down
With his grandson in tow
They'd make castles together
Some fast and some slow

One day the pair
Were  at the end of the pier
When a rogue wave hit hard
And took what James held most dear

His grandson...swept out
Lost at sea, never found
They searched for three weeks
But the poor boy was drowned

James kept a vigil
Every day on the beach
He'd look out on the water
His heart out of reach

He kept making sand castles
As he did with young James
With shells and old driftwood
And he gave them all names

He'd have non-existent armies
Fight non existent wars
In his hard packed sand castles
He carved windows and doors

There was make believe dragons
In pools by the sea
Guarding make believe princesses
Who no one could see

There were turrets and moats
And each day he'd build one
To be lost to the tide
As the days work was done

Each day a new castle
Each day a new war
But, nobody knew
What he was building them for

The tide would come in
And would sweep it away
All that hard work
Gone at the end of the day

But, each morning he'd come
Build one more for the tide
With invisible armies
To flow away for a ride

People would watch him
Make the castles of sand
With imaginary soldiers
In imaginary lands

The bluesman sang soft
Took a sip once again
From the flask on his hip
It's just medi-cin

The crowd didn't stir
We were like moths to the flame
As we heard the bluesman
finish his tale about James

I asked him one morning
If he ever would end
Building castles of sand
He said, Bluesman, my friend

I know that each castle
Will be washed out to see
And I hope that my grandson
Gets a message from me

I make each sand castle
Like we both used to do
I come back every day
And start another anew

It helps with the closure
I send my soul to the sea
And I hope that my grandson
Knows they're for him made by me

He finished and thanked us
And we went on our way
All of us changed some
From what the bluesman did play

Next time I'm out wandering
And see the castles of sand
I'll know what he's building
Now...that I understand

This piece of land I call my own

One day shall be overgrown

But one thing that is always shown

Is that people here are free

Lavender scent fills the air

People laughing everwhere

Old frenchmen sitting on the stairs

These things just need to be

Wander close and hear the sounds

There are birds and insects all around

But, we are all beneath the ground

And these we will not see

I lie beneath the sunlit sky

For this place is where I did die

For me I ask that you not cry

I died for my country

Birds are flying overhead

Beneath their flight lay we the dead

The ground was once stained deep blood red

From here you smell the sea

When I was here the sky was black

You could not see each new attack

We'd take one hill, they'd take in back

I was only twenty three

My medals are not on my chest

They're home, I hope like all the rest

I died but did fulfill my quest

I made these people free

I will not age forever more

I will not make it twenty four

But where I lay, there's ten score more

Who believed the same as me

I came to France in Wintertime

The battlefield was mud and slime

The beauty gone, it was a crime

There's not much here to see

Our crosses stand and mark our place

No photographs to show our face

We died with honor and with grace

Please say a prayer for me

Just boys we were when we arrived

It's sad that most did not survive

We gave our souls, we gave our lives

So this world could be free

I remember though one Christmas Day

The war was stopped so we could play

I wish it could  remain this way

We had no enemy

So, here I lie beneath the earth

My life is what your freedoms worth

My tale is one but there's a dearth

Of others here like me

But now I just enjoy the view

The birds above and folks like you

Will keep my story, fresh, anew

Just please...remember me.
.

Down in the forest,
past the bluebells sits a glade
Hidden from the outside world
Protected, dark in shade
A magic place where fairies live
Behind a silver veil
With a gate made out of spider silk
And guarded by a snail

It's hidden from the normal path
Behind large ferns and leaves
It is only seen by fairie fok
And those who do believe
The snail sits watching up the path
For hikers and their ilk
Prepared to send the warning out
by breaking through the silk

The bluebells let the fairie folk
Know it is time to hide
Behind the silver slippers
Secret signals they abide
A place where water runs as clear
As blue as summer sky
Where magic lights the world for them
Where fairies float and fly

It is a glade not seen by us
If we do not know to look
To us it's just a darkened glade
Fed by a smallish brook
But, there inside the curtain
Is a world of childhood dreams
Where wishes are all granted
And tears help fill the streams

Magic is the hallmark
It keeps the land of fairie well
If you found it, who'd believe you
really, just who could you tell?
Protected by an old brown snail
With his silver trail behind
with a spider web to block the way
It's a place so few will find

Believe and you will see it
Past the trees and in the shade
It will open up to serve you
In that small and magic glade
If you see the folk of fairie
And their wings of gossamer glass
Then you've met up with the old brown snail
And he chose to let you pass.

I love you to the moon and back
Babe, I love you to the sun
I knew from the first day we met
You were the only one

The only one that I could love
The only one I need
I love you to the moon and back
Babe, you're the only one for me

Almost half a million miles
Filled with tears and filled with smiles
I love you to the moon and back each day
I love you and that's how it's gonna stay
I love you and that's how it's gonna stay

Way back behind the high street
Down a cobbled, old, dark road
Sits a place of awesome wonders
And Christmas presents by the load

It's a little, tiny, Christmas Shoppe
It sits alone, with a small sign
It has sooty, frosted windows
And a door of painted pine

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

It's a place of magic and of wonder
It's only there one month a year
But, if you aren't a true believer
It's just best if you steer clear

Nick and Holly are the owners
When I say owners, I mean staff
They show up each and every Christmas
And these two know how to laugh

The door will open to believers
It can tell, you may be shocked
It decides for whom to open
For non-believers it stays locked

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

Once inside, the store is magic
It goes forever and a day
It's full of presents like no others
It's just a place you'd want to stay

Tell Nick and Holly your desire
What Christmas gift and tell them who
You would like to get this present
And they will find it fast for you

A gift for grand dad for his workshop
A special plate for your wife's mum
No request cannot be answered
You get your wish each time you come

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

The shelves are full of nothing
But, then again, you give your list
Then the shelves are full of wonder
And you see all the things you missed

The store is magic, that is certain
With gifts from many years gone by
It's full of gifts lost over eons
To find them now, you wouldn't try

There's extra men for playing soldiers
Made of lead and painted up
There's extra dice for snakes and ladders
And over there, a barking pup

As long as you are a believer
Nick and Holly, will come on through
They'll find a doll from 1940
They'll find a dress from back then too

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

It doesn't matter what you ask for
This store is full of what you ask
It knows exactly what you're thinking
It is a portal to the past

The prices, are within your budget
There's nothing here you can not buy
Even things now long forgotten
Nick sets the price, and not too high

The store shows up in every city
It's for believers and that is all
the one's who only think of retail
Well, they can do their shopping at the mall

There's toys and games from floor to ceiling
books and clothes and gadgets too
The store, it changes every minute
The things it has are up to you

Nick and Holly work their magic
Making dreams come true again
The help you find your hearts desires
The magic works on all good men

You must believe to gain your entrance
It's your one and only stop
You can find all you are wanting
At this little Christmas Shoppe

If you don't believe in Christmas
Don't carry Christmas in your heart
You'll never find The Christmas Shoppe
It'd be a waste to even start
To look for Christmas Magic
In a store you will not find
For to see it, you must carry Christmas
In your heart and in your mind

Sitting in a dance club
Looking for a score
When I saw her from a distance
She had just walked in the door
My glasses were beer clouded
and my eyes they were the same
I had to know this woman
I had to know her name

She got closer and I saw her
Hair like the setting sun
Jeans out of a country song
I knew she was the one
She made her way up to me
Sat down and turned to me
I had taken off my glasses
All the better so to see....

****, I couldn't get that drunk
There's not enough beer here for me
I saw her face and then I thought
I'd poke my eyes out not to see

It was my first day in college
I made it to my class, but late
I chose a seat behind a redhead
Who..I thought I'd like to date
She had a figure I could follow
She smelled as fresh as morning dew
You can guess just what I'm thinking
And just what I'd like to do

The professor asked a question
I answered and got it wrong
Then she stood on up to answer
She had those jeans on from a song
She answered and I heard her
A voice as shrill as chalkboard screech
My ***** went up inside me
To a place a doctor couldn't reach


****, I couldn't get thank drunk bud
With a voice that could cut glass
There's not enough beer in this small town
To even try to make a pass

I was working at the library
No idea on what to write
My whole year was failing
I would be here for the night
Two tables up I saw her
Brunette and dressed in blue
I got up to walk on by her
You know, just like I was want to do

I approached and she turned quickly
Her hair was flying everywhere
Then her blue eyes locked upon me
And in my mind she stripped me bare
She was not one you'd remember
She was plain, to state a fact
All I noticed was her staring
And you know I just stared back

I'm sorry I misjudged her
Superficial ruled my world
Now, I've come to know her deeper
And you know she's now my girl

To judge someone is petty
If appearance is all you see
You'll miss finding your life's treasure
If you don't learn how to see
Looks can fade and over time
You'll go deaf so you can't hear
And with your weak and feeble bladder
You won't be drinking that much beer !!

Thirty years had passed me by
I was approaching fifty one
For my birthday I thought I would go
to New York and take my son
I'd been there once many years ago
When my boy was not yet born
With his mother gone, I thought it time
To go back there with my son
I checked the web and booked a room
In a hotel that looked real nice
It was just three blocks from Broadway
I guess I should have checked it twice
We flew on in from Michigan
We were set to see some games
We would also go to Broadway
And see some plays with some big names
I should have seen it coming
Problems arising from the start
Our plane was late in leaving
They had crashed the luggage cart
An hour to reload it
Got us off and in the air
With a strong tail wind behind us
The pilot said we'd soon be there
We landed at the airport
Waited forty minutes for our bags
You see, when they loaded us in Detroit
They forgot to fasten all our tags
We went outside to get a cab
We were almost to our stop
We would find the Biltmore Hotel
My young son and me...his pop
We told the taxi driver
To the Biltmore Hotel please
He said "Sir, are you certain"
"They've had bed bugs and there's fleas"
"I checked it on the internet"
"It looked nice and was cheap"
The driver said "OK Sir,"
"But, the Biltmore...it's a heap!"
I thought a bit, but said...."come on"
"It cannot be that bad"
But as we pulled of Broadway
The neighborhood looked quite sad
The street was dark and nondescript
there was no one to be found
Except for idle yelling
You could not hear a sound
Windows were all boarded up
The farther we went east
I thought, for thugs and hoodlums
this street would yield a feast
I thought the cabbie might be right
A new hotel we'd get
But, I still had not decided
Even though the streeted was quite the threat
The sign outside the hotel
Was burned out in some spots
But, I guess from our reaction
We both deserved what we had got
I told the cabbie, do not stop
Just floor it and we'll go
The sign outside the Biltmore
lit up as "BI T MO **"
I wasn't gonna stay there
We went back and made it quick
Just looking at the Biltomre
Well, it really made me sick
I learned one thing this trip
Next time, I'll call ahead
And won't book at the "BIT MO **"
For I might just wake up dead.

The clouds hid the red sky that day
Amid the wind and rain
No red sky meant no sailors warning
The waves broke high and hard
They passed the breakers and the kegs
They missed the red sky morning

The ships out on the water
From the shore to the Grand Banks
Were helpless in the coming storm
No choice to turn and run
The best bet was stay put
There was no port to get warm

The skies were filled with nothingness
the clouds like a sharks eye
Shades of black were all they saw
The icy waves of winter
Broke the calm of the early morn
For red sky in the morning is an unwritten sailors law

The Captain closed the bar down
On the Digby ferry crossing
The doors were being opened by each wave
They couldn't see the white caps
Only sky and see was all
And the souls he had to save

There were fifteen boats in transit
When the storm came bearing down
Most were halfway home or so
Now they all were stranded
In the journey between heaven and hell
Which direction they were headed only God would know

Turn sideways and you'd flip it
Just sit still and you were dead
You had to ride the water hellish ride
Hatches all were battened
Windows sealed and doors shut tight
Sailors tried to stay inside

Water spouts were forming
Off the stern and then the port
Navigate the safest spot and keep low
The door to Davy Jones' locker
Was opened and ready to accept
Any boat who made the choice to venture down below

On shore the coast guard were all scrambled
Planes were sent out just in case
More to recover than to save
Families awaited word by radio
The lines from all the ships were down
Some lost to a watery grave

Each year the ocean opens up
Mother Nature takes some back
It's just the circle of life at sea
Prayers are said at the Mariners Hall
Bells are rung for the dead
The sailors soul belongs to the water and it never can be free

Are you one that lives on water?
You know one day your luck will end
You knew this fact from the start
Sailors know the sea's a minefield
It's a war with God each day
You have to fight with all your heart

While the sun is sleeping and the morning dj's too,
The radio news anchor is in to work by three
It's not because we're busy, or we're special..no, no , no
It's because the station trusts us, and besides...we have the key!!

We're on the road, at Dunkin' Donuts,
while the day olds are still fresh
We're in before the DJ's
Because we don't live like Phil Lesh

By the time the DJ's wander in
We've read more, than they will say
We've even cued up the morning intro
We know the songs they all will play

We have our room for research
Actually, two newspapers and a phone
We're not quite Walter Cronkite
But, hey...throw us a bone

The life of a radio anchor
Is not one that's all rosy
We do it 'cause we love it
It's not just because we're nosy

We get the freshest donuts, hottest coffee and the key
And did I neglect to mention, first one in gets donuts free?
The DJ's do their concerts, party hard, are full of soul
And twice a week you'll find them, down at Skippy's Pool and Bowl

We're not all like Les Nessman
Although, there is  a part of me
That would love to have a station
Like old W K R P

The life of the news anchor
Starts out daily in the dark
We dig around for stories
And make up others for a lark

We are in line for more promotions
We're the one that the boss sees
Did I mention, we get donuts
And that the boss gives us the key?

Political correctness has reached a brand new low
It has now reached good and evil
And has changed things down below

The devil is still the devil,
That much has not changed
But, the food is all organic
And the meat is all free range

I didn't know the changes 'till
I made a plea last week
To sell my soul for increased wealth
And other things I seek

I expected a commotion
When the devil came from hell
But, there was nothing quite so flashy
When someone...rang my bell

I answered thinking nothing much
I looked outside to check
I am wary of the Mormons
and Jehovahs on my deck

I looked outside and there I saw
A man dressed all in grey
A poll taker, election geek
Let's see what he may say

"Good day, kind sir, I come to you"
"You wanted to be rich"
I thought he isn't from no bank of mine
He said "Sir, just call me Mitch"

"Mitch", I said, "I don't know how"
"you'd know I want to sell my soul"
He told me that was why he's here
To get a deal done was his goal

I said, "why use the door bell"
"Why not the cloud of smoke"
He said "with budget cuts'
"Pyrotechnics made us   broke"

"The PC folks got wind of us"
"of our tricks and double speak"
"Now, you sign away your soul to us"
"but, you can get out within the week"

"We can't go by the same old name"
"Hell is not allowed"
"We're H...E...double hockey sticks"
"Try saying that aloud"

"It doesn't have the forcefulness"
"That the other word once had"
"we can call it heck, if we're in a pinch"
"You can see, it's got quite sad"

"The contracts are all readable"
"You don't have to sign in blood"
"With *** and STD's"
"It may as well be mud"

"A soul still has some meaning"
"But, as you yourself can see"
"The devil stays at home now"
"And sends his minions out...like me"

"I have a small brochure for you"
"You have choices, please pick six"
"It's more a club, a health resort"
"In H...E...double sticks"

"I can't get out, I'm stuck for good"
"I signed my deal before"
"The PC people got us good"
"And now...we use the door"

"Please look over the contract"
"Take your time, and read it close"
"You'll find it is a real good read"
"With language, non verbose"

"If you should have some questions"
"change your mind,  or want to tour"
"Just call me on my cell phone
"I'm at star66 extension 4"

"I'm sure you'll still come down  to us"
"It's not so bad, you'll see"
"Just call me when you're ready"
"You've got time, now we're PC"

Heading up the coast a ways
The fog wall rolling in
Couldn't make out where we're going
Much less see where we've been
It covered like a blanket
A black hole by the sea
It was like something from a movie
One that now was starring me
The road lines were invisible
As we ventured through the mist
I couldn't see a single thing
I'm sure you get the gist
We pulled off at a sign of life
A diner on the side
We figured we'd be safe here
And rest some from our ride
The hostess seemed quite startled
When we entered from the gloom
You'd have think she'd seen a spirit
As she led us through the room
"No one's out on nights like these"
"The sane folks hunker down"
"A fog like this could last for days"
We said we're from out of town
We asked about a haven
Somewhere we could get a bed
She told us of an old place
Run by a fellow known as "Red"
She made a reservation
While we were waiting for our meal
Told "Red" we'd be there rightly
He could not disguise his zeal
"Not many folks come out this way"
"At least not for the night"
"The fog here is monotonous"
"It gives most folks a fright"
You could hear the rolling thunder
of the waves upon the shore
But, beyond that you heard nothing
Not a sound came through the door
"Red' said if we were willing
He'd tell us 'bout the place
It was nautical in flavour
A real interesting space
He got our bags secured
And he came back to the fire
He said "What I'll say is all the truth'
"I'll not be called a liar"
The b and b we were now in
Was a lighthouse in years gone by
It stood upon this craggy cliff
To see that no one did not die
One hundred twenty years it stood
His family manned the light
There was always someone here to see
Sailors made it home at night
Ships were lost upon the rocks
From waves come straight from hell
The light was there to guide them
And the town had a large bell
Most times the ships weighed anchor
Stayed away and rode it out
But others, tried their mettle
They wouldn't turn the ship about
There were life boats manned and ready
To go and get survivors from the sea
I've been out many times myself
And I only saved three
The rocks and waves and currents
Take a body far from shore
if we don't get there right quickly
Then we'll n'ere see them no more
The light was a stern warning
That the rocks were looming fast
And if they didn't alter course
Then they surely wouldn't last
We asked who manned it nowadays
He said "no one at all"
It was run by automation
It all changed after the squall
A storm came in five years ago
The light was burning bright
But the snow and ice and wind
Were blocking it from sight
The boat went down without a trace
The boats were still left docked
We couldn't hear their sirens
All the boats remained here locked
They couldn't hear the fog horn
And the light would not shine though
They'd lost communication
And they took down thirty two
The government came in and said
"We have to make a change"
"We need a better lighthouse"
"One that has a longer range"
"So, they put in a new signal"
"Amped the horn and closed me out"
"I was allowed to live beneath her"
"So, I knocked a few things out"
"I opened up the "Lighthouse"
"Never thinking folks would stay"
"But, business has been steady"
"But, only on bad days"
"I've never been back to the light"
"Since they amped it up a notch"
"They took away my livelihood"
"It was a kick into my crotch"
"But, now I get a pension"
"And a few people like you"
"So, I sit here and tell stories"
"And you'll bet I know a few"
"But, now I see you're tired"
"Some advice and then good night"
"Make sure you wear the blindfolds"
"Because I can't turn out the light!!!"

I'm sitting in the corner
With a whiskey and a smoke
The barkeep pours another
The waitress tells a joke

The jukebox is on auto
But still, people go and choose
I just sit here with my whiskey
Dropping ashes on my shoes

Another Day, Another Bottle
My life is dragging by
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die
Another Day, Another Bottle
I gave it my best try
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die

Beer no longer cuts it
It's just whiskey, hold the ice
A maduro or cohiba
Makes it go down rather nice

The barkeep keeps his distance
Knows I'll order when I'm dry
But, I nurse each whiskey longer
'cause I've just no cash to buy

Another Day, Another Bottle
My life is dragging by
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die
Another Day, Another Bottle
I gave it my best try
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die

The jukebox plays some country
It plays Cash, Nelson and Joe South
It doesn't play the new stuff
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth

I sit here in the corner
With my whiskey and my smoke
Neither one has killed me
But ****, they've made me broke

Another Day, Another Bottle
My life is dragging by
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die
Another Day, Another Bottle
I gave it my best try
Another Day, Another Bottle
I'm just waiting here to die

The day arrived, the sun was out
The sky was perfect, calm
All was as it should be
No resistance 'fore the storm
A winter gone, a spring in bloom
Things were as things should be
Fresh paint and banners hung out
For all the world to see
Bunting just the way it was
On days like this before
It showed off baseball's history
No less and nothing more
The lines were crisp and dedicated
The foul lines and the fair
The team logos were painted
Silence hung in the spring air
A church for fifty thousand
To revere this game they'll see
And if each single seat is filled
There'll be fifty thousand forty three
The boys of summer own this field
New history shall be made
While fans scream for their favorites
As the game is being played
A chess game on such pristine grass
At this park it's real
At others you will find that it
Is plastic...and lacks feel
The players, some are new as well
They were not here last year
The owners changed the line ups so
Your favorites are not here
Fathers, sons, and daughters
Share this circus every spring
It's a rite of family passage
To most a holy thing
New jerseys, hats and banners
Showing where alliegance lies
There is no joy in Mudville
As each person chooses sides
The umpires, too, begin anew
They must be on the ball
Today's game is most scrutinized
You cannot miss a call
The sense of pomp and circumstance
In this annual ceremony
Breaks out all of the rituals
In a loud cacophony
The teams announced and anthems sung
Color parties raise the flags
This is what baseball's all about
Home plate and three new bags
The smell of ******* jack and beer
Hot dogs and candy corn
Soon start to infiltrate the park
And they break up this fresh morn
The players sit below now
Waiting for the game to start
Cliche speeches break the air
As the managers play their part
It's time to all get ready
Put this years "uni" on
And to rid your self of buttlerflies
And get that feeling gone
You check yourself before hand
Make sure that the outfits good
And you go over the ground rules
And know exactly what you should
Your'e as important to this game now
You are the holder of their fate
For your job is most important
You let the patrons though the gate
The actors in this rite of spring
Are varied in their roles
From players, umps and concessioneirs
They all make baseball whole
The opening of each season
Shows off every single team
From the players out there on the field
To the ones behind the scenes.
You put your best foot forward
Because you want them all to say
That baseball is just special
Because of Opening Day.

I was over at the Church today
And saw a notice that was posted
There would be a Christmas sale
And by the ladies would be hosted
They didn't have a firm date set
And they weren't sure where to hold it
They barely even had a theme
But they sure knew who would host it
You'd surely think a Church event
Would be held inside the Church
But because the ladies could not agree
They were all left in the lurch.
The Church was booked right through the  1st
And the place they had to find
Would have to hold all 50 booths
To sell their wares of every kind,
They checked the ads for vacant halls
But they were already taken
Sister Eugenie "Better than you",
Said her faith was really shaken
That they would not come through this year
And the church they would let down
"We'll find a hall to hold this thing?"
"We'll tear apart this town"
Phone calls were made throughout the night
Notes and letters all were sent
Surely there was someone there
Who had a hall to rent
Without a hall there was no sense
In fact there was no reason
To start their crafts and baking bees
There was no reason for the season
They met as one and did decide
To ask the churches elders
If they could open up one day for them
By rescheduling the welders
They sat and talked and talked and sat
And lots of time was spent
But Father Reagan from the church
Said no, "And that is that"!
Time was quickly running out
When a message they were told
For Sister Eigenie "Better than you"
was left by a Mr. Gold
She called him up and let him know
Exactly what their needs were
He had exactly what they asked
Of this he could assure her
The only thing that he did ask
He had this one request
Was that his name be mentioned not.
At his families bequest.
He said he'd help them even more
And help fill up their tables
With baked goods, crafts and candles
And small models of the stables
Where Christ was born so long ago
He'd help them all he could
They all said yes to his demand
Things were looking good
They set to baking everything
Likes cookies and cream horns
Sister Eugenie "Better than you"
Made a jello "Crown of Thorns"
She was always different with
The things she baked and gave
Last Easter she spent two whole weeks
Making a Chocolate burial cave.
They did their crafts and made their things
and soon they all were ready
The big day came and the excitement
made the ladies a bit unsteady
ESpecially when they all arrived
At the address they'd been given
And there to meet them was a Man
Who said " I'm Rabbi Schiven"
This is a first for us you see
Our temple hosting Christmas
So, If we make a few mistakes
I'm sure you will forgive us
We've food prepared for you to sell
And crafts and sweaters too
I'm certain we will have the first
Christmas Bazzar run by jews.
We made some stockings too you see
By our bubbie known as Nora
There's a Star of David on One side
And on the other a Mennorrah!
Please take our gifts and go set up
And good luck on this day
And as a final parting word
Merry Christmas and OY VEY!!!

It was a Saturday afternoon
The legion branch was full
The band was playing some old twangy country song
The front four tables were singing along
Up at the bar
A steady line up of Nevada players
hoping for another jackpot
to cover another few beers
And to make the afternoon last
Nothing worse, than having to milk
a weak draft for an hour
Until the men came back from horseshoes
About three o'clock
the branch livened up as Jimi McGonagle arrived
grandson of the past president
and general all about me, *******
He was strutting around
showing off his new tattoo
No different than his other
thirty or so, but it was new
and it was Jimi McGonagle
so everyone wanted to see
He was proud he now had eight peacocks
All up one leg....there's a joke here
But, even I won't go that far....
The crowd swarmed around him
But, in the back corner
The table....I mean THE TABLE...
didn't move a muscle
In fact out of the three individuals at THE TABLE
Two continued with their dart game
while the third just chuckled, let out a loud
HARUMPH
and went back to his screwdriver
with the quickly melting ice cubes
famous at all legions for helping water down the drinks
Jimi, heard the HARUMPH and looked back
The old man took a slug from the glass
and HARUMPHED louder
Jimi, perplexed, came over to see what was the matter
"Don't like my tattoos Mr. Stein?"
HARUMPH..."they're fine, if you like that kind of thing"
said the old man, knocking back his glass again
"Gives me eight peacocks on my leg now" said Jimi
Again, no response from me on the possible joke here
"cost me almost $700 bucks to get this one done"
"HARUMPH" said the old man....
"What is wrong with you Mr. Stein?"
"Don't like it?"
"Like I said...."
"I know, I know"....said Jimi
"Got any ink?" asked Jimi
"Yep" answered the old man, as a fresh glass arrived
He took a slug...
"So?"...said Jimi, "Is it any better than my peacock?..
"Maybe..maybe not"...said the old man
"It just depends"
The crowd had moved away and was dropping back to the bar area
"Can I see it?" asked Jimi..."What is it?"
"'tain't much to speak of...but I'll show you"....
"Just quit strutting around and sit....and I'll have another screwdriver"...
Jimi sat, and the old man looked him in the eye
"Don't have much colour, like your'n do...don't have any at all"...
"But, a tat's a tat, and you want to see it"...."You sure?"
Jimi nodded, ordered the drink for the old man
"HARUMPH"...said Mr. Stein
He unbuttoned his shirt cuff on the left side
and rolled it up, with his big, beefy, work worn hands
"There she be" he said
"Where", said Jimi
"There'n, on my wrist....just there"
"All I see is a number, an old, worn number"
"That'd be her" said Mr. Stein...."It's all I got, and it's all I need"
"What is it?" asked Jimi
"It's who I am...who I was reduced to"
"It's my curse, and my strength"...
"I was 17 when I got this in Hammelburg, Germany"....
"It was 1943 and we were rounded up"
"and sent to the camps...we were some of the last jews"
"they missed us in the first go round"
"gave me this...don't need another one"
"It's me...this number....it's me"
"Yours are nice...colourful....but are they you?"
"Mine is me"...
"You can see...I have ink....only one....don't want anymore"
"Can I sit a while?" asked Jimi
"Sure, son"...."you can tell me 'bout them silly peacocks"
"Bartender....two screwdrivers"
...and so developed a new and deep friendship....

If you want into my life
Leave your baggage at the door
I've got enough all packed away
And I've no room for any more

I know you want to be with me
And I want to be with you
But, box up all your past mistakes
And you know what you can do

I've room to house all sorts of things
My cupboards are all bare
But, baggage like you're carrying
It's not stuff I want to share

If you want into my life
Leave your baggage at the door
I've got enough all packed away
And I've no room for any more

I went through hell a thousand times
Packed a bag inside my mind
for every failed relationship
And times I was caught blind

I want to have you in my life
And share our hopes and dreams
But, pack those bags up in your mind
And help deafen out the screams

If you want into my life
Leave your baggage at the door
I've got enough all packed away
And I've no room for any more

Whatever you did long before
Or even just last week
I don't need it here inside
I don't want to hear it speak

I've room for things..material
Like books and clothes and more
But if you bring bags of emotions
Then you'll not get past my door

If you want into my life
Leave your baggage at the door
I've got enough all packed away
And I've no room for any more

I have a new big brother
He's dressed in tory blue
He's not just my big brother
I think he's your bro too!
He sits up in his tower
Pulling strings across the land
But when a string of his should break
It's not his *** that gets canned
I found out my incumbent
Goes to Africa every year
In fact I'm told he stays there
For as long as he stays here
I don't really believe it
But you know it must be true
My Big Brother called to tell me
I'm surprised that he got through
Six months away is what we're told
Glen Pearson spent away
But tales like this sound more like they
Were told by Stockwell Day
So late at night, my phone did ring
To tell me how to vote
They told me how the Liberals
Were up the creek without a boat
I know that I'm supposed to go
To the church across the street
That's where the poll is and I know
It's where our local voters meet
But when my bro called down to me
And said, "You don't go there"
This time you vote in Ingersoll
There is no line up there
My big brother said we were wrong
His party would not stoop
To do phone calls to folks like us
That was a bunch of ****
Why would he lie, he is the King
I've read his license plate
He's my brother, one I'm told
That holds on to my fate
His party gave out tax rewards
To companies for jobs
They took all of the money
And they closed the shop down....slobs
It's funny how one person can
Phone ridings, not one missed
But I can't get their calls to stop
And I'm on the no call list
Robo calling is  what it is
A heinous crime at best
Nixon used it in the States
Although he never did confess
Comparing my Big Brother now
To Tricky Dicky Nixon
Well, I've got to say
Those PC's sure know just the way to  fix one.
To hang one man out for this task
It surely can't be true
I wonder if he'll change his mind
And his suit of Tory Blue
I ask around and all I hear
is I voted NDP
So, how in hell, explain to me
they'e a majority
I know that my Big Brother
Would not do such a thing
Excuse me for a moment
But my phone's about to ring!

I used to be a golfer once
But, now I am a hack
I swing around a waist of jello
I only play the middle tees
I used to play the back
I only use ***** that are yellow

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to have a short game once
I used be real good
(Where do you think you might have lost it?)
I used to have no fear at all
I knew all that I should
(Is it with your sand wedge, where you tossed it?)

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to split the fairways boys
I used to sink the putts
(What ever happened to the feeling?)
I can't hit a **** fairway now
I only hit wide cuts
(It's enough to send my mindset reeling)

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

Now, I am afraid most days
I can't hit it off the ground
I only hit well when I drink some
I know each tree out on our course
I know the ball hits tree bark sound
I only play good when I've got ***

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to be a golfer once
I wish I still could play
I wish so hard for that sweet feeling
I once was good
But not today
If I could find Diablo, I'd be dealing

But, my game is up on the shelf
And it's funny
How, I play only by myself
No money
I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play like myself

I wonder if they ever heard
The noise that people made
Watching them up on the screen
Until the final credits fade

Did anybody tell them
Thanks for what you did
For just a while you took me back
And made me feel just like a kid

Once the greasepaint was washed off
And the curtains had come down
Did they know the magic that they made
Still filtered through the town

Acting like we wanted to
Up there upon the  screen
They filled the world with laughter
You know just what I mean

Most of them are gone now
Very few that we would know
Acetates and ashes
Are all they have to show

If we took the time to tell them
Thank you for the laughter
Would they ever hear us...
Those who have come after

The mantle never passed
The best are long now dead
The ones who worked in silence
With words seen but not said

The names are not all famous
Some are never known
But, we owe them for the laughter
In the movies that were shown

We'd remember lines that they said
And we'd think of them and smile
They took us out of where we were
If just for a short while

Think of your favorite actor
Who you watched and always laughed
Whether slapstick or through word play
They all chose to share their craft

I will not list my favorites here
The list may never end
But, to them I'd just say thank you
A message I must send

I wonder if the next time
Or even the next time after
If they would ever hear us
tell them Thank you for the laughter

There was no one at the funeral
No one there to say goodbye
It took them two whole weeks to find him
No one knew that he had died

Set out in the countryside
A farm with lots of land
He died there in his easy chair
It was just, but not as planned

We grew up there with no neighbors
Just a dad and his three girls
No one heard our screaming
In our pinies and our curls

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

It's my task to clean out the house
To get rid of all that's here
There's memories in every room
And nightmares too, I fear

The scent of Borkhum Riff
Still hangs lightly in the air
I remember it as he lay down
It was in his clothes and hair

I can smell his after shave cologne
In the living room, it lingers
I remember lying silent
As he probed me with his fingers

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

Boxes of old memories
To discard of and move out
I don't want to take them with me
Not with the memories about

My bedroom, like the others
Sits unchanged through out the years
There isn't many smiles there
Just dirt amongst the tears

I wonder as I go outside
To get a break from all the smells
I know he's not in heaven
My daddy's down in hell

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

As time goes by know what I
Must do with this old place
I must obliterate it from my mind
And build a new house in it's place

Five miles from the closest farm
All alone with none around
I can free myself form the nightmare
If I burn it to the ground

I call up both my sisters
Knowing what he did to me
He wouldn't be selective
He did it to all three

THE MONSTER ISN'T IN THE ROOM
NOT IN THE CLOSET, NOR 'NEATH THE BED
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL
DAD'S THE MONSTER IN HIS STEAD
HE COMES TO MY ROOM IN THE NIGHT
AND DOES THINGS THAT DAD'S DON'T DO
HE TOUCHES ME WHERE HE SHOULD NOT
DID HE TOUCH THE OTHERS TOO?

Through arguments and logic
I lay out to them my plan
They tell me they will come home
They'll be there when they can

The day arrives as do the girls
We start the plan out in the patch
We've each one can of gasoline
And we each have just one match

The house burns rather quickly
Oily smoke it fills the air
The only thing that's missing
Is that the monster isn't there.

Out on a Georgia dirt road
Fully loaded, making time
I've gone a million miles
All on someone else's dime

From Utah to Kentucky
Nevada up to Maine
I've been on super highways
I've driven on one lane

America, America
There's just so much to see
I've seen the land, please understand
You help to make me me

I'm just another trucker, mother
Driving empty, driving full
Hauling loads for everyone
From wood, to steel, to wool

Dirt roads and paved highways
They're connected to my brain
I've driven all from coast to coast
In sleet, and sun and rain

America, America
There's just so much to see
I've seen the land, please understand
You help to make me me

Home, to me is driving
I don't have a fixed abode
I get my mail in dribs and drabs
My life is on the road

Just another trucker, mother
I just wish there was more time
To see the countries treasures
All on someone else's dime

America, America
There's just so much to see
I've seen the land, please understand
You help to make me me

"Hey mister, how you doing?"

"Do you need a friend tonight?'

"I can take away your troubles"

"I can make what's wrong seem right"

A woman's thoughts from a childs voice

Knocked me senseless in the dark

I guess I should know better

Than to walk home through the park

"Baby, you'll forget your troubles"

"If you'll spend some time with me"

"Where's your car? Just let's go do it"

"You'll really like it, wait and see"

I kept my pace and ventured forward

I didn't want to see her face

I didn't want to see her standing

So I began to increase my pace

"C'mon baby, it's worth your while"

"I can make your problems go"

"It won't take long, I know you'll like it"

"Come and play, it's fun...you know!"

I turned around to see the speaker

Just to say that I'd heard enough

I didn't want to hurt her either

I didn't want to come off tough

So when I stopped and turned to face her

From the darkness she stepped out

A tiny child in a woman's outfit

Looking like she'd been knocked about

I said "No thanks", this ain't my style

I just want to get on home

I want to go about my business

And I want to go on home alone.

"But baby, I'm the best thing ever"

"You'll never find a girl like me"

I swear to God, she acted older

But she only looked one score less three

I looked at her and something tingled

"Sure, let's go" I spoke aloud

Then she smiled, ever so slightly

She hooked my arm and I gently bowed

"I have a question, dear...before we"

"Head on out to do the deed"

"When did you last eat dinner"

"When was your last real good feed?

"It's been a while, I can see that"

"Your'e nothing more than skin and bone"

"If your'e my date, we'll first have dinner"

"Then, I'll take you to my home"

'She acted tough, but failed to hide it

"Dinner..fine..but then we go"

I smiled back, and off we ventured

Through the park, our heads bowed low

We found a small, deserted diner

We took a booth where we could talk

Talking was just what I wanted

But talking, that's where she would balk

She ate her meal like a starving beasty

Sparks were flying off the plate

What? I thought had forced this child

To turning tricks to be her fate?

We finished up and left the diner

She said that I would not regret

I took her home like I had promised

For a night  I'd not forget

I hung her coat inside the closet

Climbed the stairs up to my room

She followed close, but was not speaking

The air hung heavy with her gloom

I said "Before we do the dealing"

"You should clean up...the showers there"

I found a robe and watched her smile

I then sait down in my old chair

I heard the water run forever

She came out clean as she could get

She wore the robe and a small hand towel

Wrapped about her hair so wet

I'd make some drinks, some nice hot chocolate

I sat her down and then she spoke

"I'd like to thank you for the dinner"

"do you mind if I have a smoke?"

I told her fine, but had my reasons

I'd keep her busy, without ***

She talked for hours, just like a child

She was rubbing her bruised neck

She said she'd run from down in Georgia

Coming here was not her plan

She had wanted to go to college

But this was where the poor girl ran

It's funny but this child like woman

Never talked of why she'd come

She talked of people she was missing

She'd said she'd like to once more run

She nodded off into a slumber

I picked her up and laid her down

I wrapped her up with a warm blanket

And then I headed off to town

When she awoke, I sat there smiling

And not a word was ever said

For when I left, I bought a ticket

One...to Georgia...lay on the bed.

I said "It's yours...if you should want it"

"You've got three hours, so let's go eat"

This waif like girl then responded

With a smile that just could not be beat

We headed back down to the diner

Breakfast was the meal this time

I paid the bill and from my wallet

Said "Here, take this...it's still my dime"

This girl was lost inside her body

I helped her find her way  again

I watched her leave clutching the ticket

I knew we'd never meet again

I hope she found where she was heading

I hope she made it , I admit

I never went to check the depot

I hoped she used that bus ticket

Another night, another walk home

Another voice came from the dark

"Hey sweetie, you look kind of lonely"

I smiled..and walked back in the park.......
.

To set a goal and be "class clown"
Is not something good, I'm stating
I was the one who wrote his words
I was the "class clown in waiting"

A yard stick and a winter toque
A voyaguer I now was
To inherit a new character
As I aged, became a loss

Was bullying  the reason for
Hiding behind a mask
Or was it something deeper
That made me take this task

A true class clown has no regrets
Of what they say or do
Their only goal is laughter
And that they'll get from you

Attention seeking misfits
Not in my book, there was no way
You couldn't be a misfit
And say what they would say

A true "class clown"'s an artist
Knowing when to make a scene
Knowing when a situation
Needs a lift, or at least a lean

Voices with strange accents
Silly faces set the stage
You get the class all laughing
While the teacher fumes with rage

Move on from the "class clown" name
And pursue it with a crowd
Do you really crave attention?
Do you want the laughter loud?

Or were you starved for some attention
Something you never got at home
Were you troubled as a child
Did it cause your mind to roam?

Were you deficient in your memory?
Couldn't handle work at school?
Or did you really crave the laughter?
Because on stage you could be cool

I envy people who were clowns
There were many in my life
To just be free with who they were
To dance upon the knife

I never was the top banana
I was always second, on the side
I always worked well as the set-up
But I came along and rode the ride

I'm always playing music
Alone on my guitar
I don't think I'll be famous
I'll never get that far
I play because I love it
I go from bar to bar
I sure don't do it for the money
I'm living in my car

I'm not sure if I'll make it
The right person must hear
The music that I'm making
Must ring true within their ear
In the clubs that I am playing
They serve shots and luke warm  beer
So the ear for which I'm looking
Is not to close to here

If I wanna be famous
And give my life a lift
There's just one way to do it
And that's by datingTaylor Swift
We'll hook up and we'll break up
I won't be with her long
Then she'll put out a new album
And she'll put me in a song
The only way to make it
And to give my life a lift
Is to go out and start dating
That singer....Taylor Swift

I sit home and I practice
In the front seat not the back
Remember, I'm living in my vehicle
Beside the railroad track
I don't have much there with me
My clothes fit in a sack
Maybe one day I will make it
And I'll give fame a crack

I may not be a Kennedy
Or , a big time movie player
But, I sure as hell look better than
That pretty boy John Mayer
I can't write my own music
I just cover other songs
The streets of fame are littered
By folks like me who don't belong
But one day, I'll just make it
And I'll prove them agents wrong
One day I will be famous
I'll be the topic of a song

If I wanna be famous
And give my life a lift
There's just one way to do it
And that's by dating Taylor Swift
We'll hook up and we'll break up
I won't be with her long
Then she'll put out a new album
And she'll put me in a song
The only way to make it
And to give my life a lift
Is to go out and start dating
That singer....Taylor Swift

Gates and boards and reels of wire
Garbage by the gates
Driveway overgrown with grass
The factory is a state

Security checks once an hour
To make sure all's still locked
Another business shut it's door
the economy was rocked

Another workplace bites the dust
Another one shuts down
To find the business district here
You've got to leave the town

They're closing up 'bout one a month
Jobs are leaving by the score
When you leave, turn out the lights
And please folks, lock the door

Work is leaving faster than
It has ever in the past
There's more folks on assistance
How long will this all last?

Fifty years a hundred ten
Factories closing shop
There's more buildings that are vacant
Our growth came to a stop

It doesn't matter where you go
It's all the bottom line
If they can do it cheaper
Then out goes the "CLOSING" sign

It all comes down to profit
You're a number not a name
It doesn't matter where you go
Plant closure is the game

Another workplace bites the dust
Another one shuts down
To find the business district here
You've got to leave the town

They're closing up 'bout one a month
Jobs are leaving by the score
When you leave, turn out the lights
And please folks, lock the door

Are your goals incentive
To get you through your life
Is the end result a good one
Can you share it with your wife
Is it worth all of the struggling
To put up with the muddling
Of folks you just abhore
Of folks you'd soon ignore

Are your children on the sidelines
While you work away your years
Are they just collateral damage
As you work on through your fears
Do you ever think you'r losing them
That you may just be abusing them
Those children there
Show them you really care

Is it time to take a back seat
As you ride upon lifes train
Time to hand over the driving
Or are you to proud to abstain
Do you want to end up all alone
Go and throw the dog a bone
You're almost there
Nobody really cares

Take a step and join them
They're the ones you should support
Give up all the overtime
Or you'll end up in court
A lonely, hopeless businessman
Who always does the best he can
All alone
There's nobody left at home

Share your time with work and family
As you make your way along
Don't forget to hear the music
Don't forget to sing  the songs
It happens so **** easily
You only need to look at me
I stepped back
After a heart attack

Get priorities in order
don't forget just how to play
Don't put it on a bucket list
Go out and start today
The earlier you leave the race
The longer you'll be in this space
Come on...begin
The water's fine...now please jump in.

The ten count is over
He's down for the count
The Greatest is gone from this world

But, we will remember
He will stay here forever
As we think of the quips that he hurled

As fast as his fists flew
His lip was much faster
He rhymed with the greatest of ease

Parkinson's slowed him
But, we will remember
The Greatest of All...ALI

Known by the masses
After his time in the ring
He was an angel sent to this earth

He had his convictions
Became a man of the people
He showed what a real life was worth

A true gentle giant
With the speed of a mongoose
The Louisville Lip...that was he

We all know his trademark
How he floated and stung
The Greatest...Muhammad Ali

For sixteen days a village lives
then it disappears from sight
It's filled with the worlds residents
For two days plus one fortnight
In four years, there's another one
Another village, 'neath the moon
The next one will be in Brazil
An Olympic Brigadoon
It closes down and goes to sleep
After all records are sought
For four years it's gone from our minds
A place that time forgot
Like Brigadoon, this village lives
In  the worlds collective hearts
Until a new one comes again
four years from end to start
Memories and records set
By those who came and went
They were their counties best and brightest
All well deserving, those who're sent
To a village never seen before
And only seen a small amount
The times it was on our tv sets
Is just too few to count
A place of such emotion
A place where legends stayed
A place of such great magic
They gave their best each time they played
But tonight, when the torch is turned off
And the celebrations end
And the residents pack up to leave
An empty village left to tend
In four years there's another one
With those inspired by these games
They'll live in a new village
And the world will learn their names
but, out of sight and out of mind
For four years comes real soon
Another athletes village
Another Olympic Brigadoon..

We had a family meeting
And decided that our tree
Would no longer be a fake one
It would be as real, as real could be

I said that it's no problem
In fact I think it's fine
I truly miss the Christmas scent
Of wet and musty pine

I reminded them that last year
A new, lit up tree we'd bought
They passed off my weak arguement
With barely time or thought

So, with three weeks until Christmas
The search would now begin
For a tree, just full of needles
Not too bushy or too thin

I started with the want ads
Saw the lots with trees for sale
But, most were all on order
I begged, to no avail

My wife said, let's go cut one
In a woodlot, cut one down
I said we're in the heart of a big city
We have to go two hours out of town

I told them, I'm not going
Then my daughter, shed one tear
I don't know how she does it
But, she's got me wrapped....I fear

So we loaded up the family
Drove until we found the place
With so many others out there
There was no parking space

We parked out on the roadway
Half a mile from the gate
When we go there to start cutting
We were told....two hour wait

We'd brought an axe and hand saw
For when we found our perfect tree
Then, we were told...no...only chainsaws
Did I have one...nope...not me

I had to take a short refresher
On how to use their little saw
And of course, this being Christmas
It cost me fifty more

Finally, we started out
There were trees, of every kind
then the fellow said, that this years
Were in the back....way down the line

He said that this year, beavers
Had flooded out the lower plains
And the trees down here were stunted
And would have to start out once again

The ones that we could cut down
Were back a mile up the hill
I wasn't sure then if it was him
Or my family I should ****

I protested, but my daughter
You know. with the one tear leaking eye
Looked at me and smiled
And I said, that I would try

We hiked up to the woodlot,
There were trees of pine and fir
And a spotty faced young helper
Who asked "What kind do you want, sir?"

Long needled, or a short one
Douglas fir, or knotty pine
The choice, well it was endless
And the choice, well ...it was mine

The next thing that he asked me
How big should the tree be?
I looked a little flustered
And then he said to me

Once you cut it down ...you own it
Measure it, and cut it down
Make sure you get the right one
It's a long way back to town

My wife said, 8 or 9 feet
The kids, no help at all
They were both playing on their cellphones
And making plans for later at the mall

We chose to get a pine one
Eight feet high and just as wide
I didn't know exactly
How I'd get it home and back inside

Two minutes, and I'd cut it
We had a tree, and just my luck
They'd started out without me
I had to drag it to the truck

The boy said, they'd wrap and measure
Down front where I came in
I looked down down at my killing
Not too fat, and not too thin

Two hours later I arrived
All wet and soaked and peeved
But deep down, I'd made them happy
And this made me relieved

Once he wrapped it tightly
I was shocked at the tree's price
He said, two hundred forty
In fact he said it twice

30 bucks a foot for pine
That would be dead in two weeks
I was so mad when I paid him
That I could barely speak

I walked back to the truck alone
I left the family with the tree
I thought two times of driving off
Ok...in truth....It was three

They tied it down upon the roof
Said the rope, was free this year
I almost blew my top right then
I saw my daughter....and her tear

We drove it home in silence
Stopped once on the way
I had to spend twenty more dollars
For a tree stand, at the Bay

I dragged it in the living room
Cut it open, let it spread
It, didn't really fluff out much
I think our tree was dead

It took almost an hour
It lay there, dropping needles on the floor
I thought , yep, this is Christmas
Who could ask for any more?

The kids were gone already
When I put it in the stand
I had wired it, into the wall
This was not the way I planned

A simple family Christmas
With a tree is a pain
I've got a fake one in a box
I'll not do this again

There's bare spots at the bottom
It's unbalanced near the top
There's sap all through the hallway
I've got more, just tell me stop

The tree is now all covered
With decorations and with lights
I water it twice daily
So, it doesn't burn up in the night

Next Christmas when they tell me
We want another tree
I'll tell them, go ahead and get one
But, do it with out me!!!!

Looking for an answer
But, I still don't get the question
People liking country
But, I'm still missin' western
On the straight and narrow
But, I'm stuck on the turn
Not sure where I'm goin'
When ever will I  learn?

People always texting
But, me... I'm leaving notes
They are  always flying
And me, I'm stuck on boats
They know all the hot spots
But, me I'm stuck at home
They go out together
I stay home alone

I'm a long necked bottle
In a short necked box
They're all hunting
And I'm the fox
I'm a half beat slow
When the music rocks
I'm a long necked bottle
In a short necked box

Looking to the future
While I'm  looking at the past
I look at the country
They just go by fast
I'm trying to fit in
I can't tell you how I feel
It' like I'm going round
But, I am the fifth wheel

Going out for drinks
I always go to the wrong bar
They want to go out dancing
I want a good cigar
They all like to disco
I like "Whiskey in the Jar"
They all drive big trucks
I drive a rusty car

I'm a long necked bottle
In a short necked box
They're all hunting
And I'm the fox
I'm a half beat slow
When the music rocks
I'm a long necked bottle
In a short necked box

I was just getting a coffee
Grabbed a seat and shut my eyes
My son was in for testing
Having trouble with his eyes

The room was full of parents
Also waiting on some tests
But over in the corner
Sat one boy not like the rest

He was in a wheelchair setup
With knobs and flags, all sorts of gear
He looked at me and smiled
"you're new...I've not seen you here"

I smiled, mumbled something
He smiled back, said "it's ok."
Then he wheeled himself beside me
And said "Sir, your life will change today"

"Your son will come back to you"
"There are things he'll have to do"
"He can only do so much though"
"The rest is up to you"

"Don't look on him as challenged"
"your son, is still the same"
"he's now....a different kind of normal"
"If you must give it a name"

"A child born with no sight"
"That is normal ....don't you see?"
"What's normal to that child"
"Is just not the same for you and me"

"It's a different kind of normal"
"That's the best thing you can say"
"For a child without eyesight"
"you just find a different way"

"How do you know the feeling"
"Of something you've not had?|
"If you've never caught a football"
"Would missing it be bad?"

"It's just a different kind of normal"
"That's all that I can say"
"I've never run or jumped"
"But, I still learned to play"

This boy, was something special
Someone special, heaven sent
I was learning things for nothing
And to me that's money well spent

"A person adapts to whatever"
"it is they have to change"
"It's just a different kind of normal"
"And it's really not so strange"

"Who says just what is normal?"
"We're all different in some way"
"Whether hindered by our bodies"
"Or by things along the way"

"To label one as special"
"or as challenged, or just ill"
"It limits them forever"
"It equates them down to nil"

"Just think we all are equal"
"We just don't all act the same"
"We're a different kind of normal"
"And to us, it's not a game"

He touched my hand real gently
More like a feather on my skin
He said, "My name is Simon"
"And I'm glad that you came in"

"Just think of what I told you"
"Just take some time, once I am gone"
"We're all a different kind of normal"
"Now you know...so...pass it on."

I'm conflicted by addictions
Choices to be made
Some come with restrictions
The piper must be paid

A small drink after dinner
A smoke out in the yard
Conflicted by addictions
The choices are quite hard

Temptation's round the corner
It's where ever you may look
You're a small fish in the ocean
And the devil baits the hook

Choices are wide open
There are many to be made
But, no matter your direction
The piper must be paid

Compulsive interactions
May drive the train you ride
The devil's the conductor
And he's there right by your side

The devil's in the details
And one day the bill is due
You have to pay the piper
For the choices made by you

He doesn't want your money
He hooked you, that's his goal
Your addictive interactions
Cost you dearly with your soul

Soccer, like baseball has legends as well
Some are great players, and some you can't tell
They have great careers, some ring the bell
But some are still legends,  others...legends that fell
Pele', no question is the best of them all
He could perform football magic when he had the ball
Is his World Cup in Sweden, the best of them all
None had his magic, or walked quite so tall
Team England at Wembley won in sixsty six
With Charlton and Moore, they were top of the picks
But since then, no more magic...something they can't fix
They went out as World Champs, but the curse..it still sticks
Maradonna, no question, has an ego like none
He thinks he is special, Jesus might be his son
The hand of God statement, just might be the one
That wipes out his achievements, and puts him under the gun
Head butts from players, hand ***** and bad plays
do we remember sucessess or is it failure that stays?
Is ithe team or the player or the fan who must pay
When they lessen their image that sets fans in a daze
Do we gloss over issues because a player is great
Or do we remember a player who reached legend by fate
Do we remember their battles when we chose to berate
Or do we respect how they acted and say "good on, mate"
All sports have heroes, and all sports have bums
But some are remembered for just flapping their gums
Remember a legend, is a player who comes
To the pitch as a player and makes the crowd hum.

I have some universal advice to give
To help with all you do
It's a simple little thing you see
It's as easy as one two

A girl asked me out dancing
This is something that I dread
Then I remembered my old grandad
He was talking in my head

He said...

Always lead with the left my boy
The left's the proper one
They're expecting you to use the right
But, it's the left that gets things done

I got drafted in the army
And at marching I was sad
I always got my feet mixed up
Then I thought of my grandad

Marching was a treat from then
With my grandad in my head
I'll break it down in squads for you
Here's exactly what he said...

He said...

Always lead with the left my boy
The left's the proper one
They're expecting you to use the right
But, it's the left that gets things done

I joined the army boxing team
I was skinny, quite absurd
There was no way I could ever win
Then I heard my grandads words

I took two rounds to win my bout
My master corporal was surprised
I had listened to my grandads words
And only got me one black eye

He said...

Always lead with the left my boy
The left's the proper one
They're expecting you to use the right
But, it's the left that gets things done

I met a girl while home on leave
I took her home to bed
And in the back I thought I heard
something grandad once had said

He said...

Always start with the left  my boy
The left's the proper one
They're expecting you to use the right
But, it's the left that gets it done.



..

We couldn't save John Lennon
Cars with fins, or rock and roll
Change comes with time, ah, that's a given
We can't even save our soul

TV shows we all grew up on
All the poster girls we love
They all have disappeared
That's just the thing I feared
It happened when push came to shove

I keep my eyes open when I kiss you
I just have to see you near
Yours are closed,
that's the way it goes
I don't want to see you disappear
That's why I keep my eyes wide open
This may be a dream we're in
I have to see you there beside me
I could not live this life again

Cassette tapes and all those eight tracks
In the garbage they all went
They're with the comic books,
The one's your mothers took
To have them now is heaven sent

Fatty foods and concert movies
You can't find them any more
The food has gotten thin
The movies....in the garbage bin
The good times aren't just like before

I keep my eyes open when I kiss you
I just have to see you near
Yours are closed,
that's the way it goes
I don't want to see you disappear
That's why I keep my eyes wide open
This may be a dream we're in
I have to see you there beside me
I could not live this life again

Where are the good old games of pinball
Not the pacman sort of games
You know the ones I mean
You played them as a teen
And you still know all their names

Whatever happened to the music?
The ones we loved are in the ground
Elvis, he was the King,
the great ones all could sing
There's just so few of them around

I keep my eyes open when I kiss you
I just have to see you near
Yours are closed, that's the way it goes
I don't want to see you disappear
That's why I keep my eyes wide open
This may be a dream we're in
I have to see you there beside me
I could not live this life again

Did they live the life projected
In their high school yearbook?
Did they take the wife selected
Why not take a look?

Geeks and Dweebs and Superstars
Smile back from ancient pages
Going back to high school now
To read the writings from the sages
Voted "The Most something"
Gave one a certain goal to reach
But, the weekend after graduation
These titles were lost on some lone beach

Did Mr. "Most Likely to Succeed"
Ever make his millions
Or is he working at the daily grind
Like so many other billions?

Most Likely to Become a Mom
That's a title that's too cheesy
What exactly did it mean?
Is this girl just one who's easy?

Most Likely to become Prime Minister
Not a chance in hell 'round here
Debating was not a skill
That we were taught I fear

Did the person picked "Most Likely to....
Have a leg up on the rest
Were they picked for popularity
Or were they really just the best

Our "Most Likely to win a Nobel Prize"
because his Chemistry marks were great
Is now working as a bartender
At a bar that's open late

"Most Likely to be a famous rock star"
Now, there's a title to hang on to
Ours, works in geology
So, they didn't miss by far

Look back and laugh at what you see
This book is just a snap
Of people from your life you knew
Some who fell into the trap

A title of "Most Likely To..."
Shouldn't determine who you'll be
For if it does, then you must
be someone who didn't learn to see

We had a girl get shot to death
She never got a yearbook name
But, she was killed robbing a bank years back
And now that's her claim to fame

Doctors, Lawyers, warehousemen
They were all there in our school
Some were picked "Most Likely to.."
Most were not, and that's cool

If you know a "Most Likely To..."
And they became what they were told
Close the book, and leave it shut
You're the one who struck gold

You made a choice to move along
And make a life, to make you ..YOU
And you didn't need a high school tag
To say..."Most Likely To....."

the wild west's still with us
it isn't gone at all
8 shot inside a high school
11 at the mall

Tombstone is no longer
Dodge City, it's now dust
But, the wild west's still with us
Believe me...in disgust

They no longer use revolvers
And have show downs in the streets
They've moved it to the school room
Where children hide beneath their seats

The press are there like vultures
The NRA cries foul
11 dead inside the mosque
But people wail and howl

They've the right to carry guns
You can't take that away
So, when you explain that to their folks
Just what do you say?

The wild west's still with us
It's a fact, that's true
It's not the same as it once was
This wild west is new

Shootings in the workplace
Shootings at the schools
Shooting in the churches
Are there any rules?

Each night the news is showing
A new shooting, it won't stop
The shooter dies a victim
And it's always death by cop

The wild west's still with us
It isn't gone at all
7 dead inside the church
11 at the mall

The slot machines remove my cash
with Dyson like precision
The operation's painless
There isn't even an incision
It's gone as soon as I sit down
For that is just their mission
I lose as soon as I sit down
I made a bad decision

The table games are even worse
Distractions everywhere
Table dancers walk and dance
But most folks do not care
In shorty shorts and thigh high boots
They flick and fling their hair
And we sit losing wads of cash
As though we do not care

The strip itself is free to walk
It's a breaking even quest
Unless you take the monorail
Then you get put to the test
Long walks between casinos
Through the homeless where they nest
Once you walk to where you're going
You need to sit down for a rest

The walkways littered with lost souls
Our society's open sores
selling water for a dollar
blocking all the hotel doors
tourists cueing up to see
shell and ball games by the score
We walk by glancing down on them
For we are Vegas ******

A city based on excess
Where the winner is not you
There are some that leave with money
But, in truth....there's very few
The derelict and drunkards
beg for change the whole day through
and their dogs beg from the beggars
It never changes....nothing's new.

Every year it's the same troop
Who seem to show up in a group
Relations that you never see
But, still they are your family

Gifts are opened, clear the floor
Then you hear them at the door
Relations that you never see
Except to eat your food for free

They never write, they never phone
All they do is sit and moan
Relations that you never see
They don't look like either you or me

Every year it is the same
They burst on in, don't know your name
Relations that you never see
Thieving hospitality

We don't know where these people live
They always take, they never give
Relations that you never see
That's how it will always be

Merry Christmas, how's the folks
Drink your drink, and smoke your smokes
Relations that you never see
Fulfill their Christmas dream for free.

I remember the day I first held you
So tiny and small in my arms
I was wrapped around your little finger
I was taken by all of your charms

I was gone and I missed your first birthday
I missed your first day at school
I chose other things over my daughter
And now later, I feel like a fool

Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?
Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?

I'd be home, but just for a moment
I'd miss plays and concerts and stuff
I was your dad, but I wasn't your father
I can say that I was not there enough

You did well and you went on to college
I am proud of just who you've become
I regret how I was a father
But, am proud I was there on day one

Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?
Where oh where did my little girl go?
When did my little girl grow?

He fell into a bottle
Met the Devil on the way
The Devil chose to ask him
"How long d'ya think you'll stay"
He thought a while and smiled
I'm just here to look around
I'm not sure if I'm staying
"How much whiskey have I downed?"
I'm talking to the Devil
It's enough to make you think
"Son, you've been drunk a month"
"you've made it to the brink"
"You offered up your soul to me"
"A week or to ago"
"But at the rate that you were drinking"
"There was no need to show"
"I figured you'd know when to stop"
"Or at least give it a try"
"But the rate you were consuming"
"I thought you might just die"
"And then I'd have you anyway"
"We wouldn't have to deal"
"It's like praying with an Atheist"
"Imagine how I'd feel"
"You prayed to God, and then to me"
"You offered up your soul"
"You said you'd never drink again"
"If I would make you whole"
"But Man, you drank like crazy"
"Southern Comfort, Jim Beam too"
"You know, we thought we had ya"
"There's no way you'd pull through"
"I figured, I come up and see"
"take your soul, and get it cheap"
"I'd leave you there to sober up"
"Leave you lying in a heap"
"But, whats his name..sent in some help"
"An angel he sent forth"
"And said "You cannot take his soul just yet"
"He knows not what it's worth"
"I told him that you called me
"The deal was nearly set
The Angel said you get his soul
But what does this boy get?
I thought and knew I'd blown it
You were getting nothing in return
I jumped the line a little
Just hoping you would burn
But, God...That Goody Two Shoes
Put a challenge on the floor
We would fight to see who got you
Where'd you want to finish more
So, we're  off on a small road trip
Off to see where you will go
But, boy...the way you drink that stuff"
"I'm already sure I know"
"It may seem like a cliche'"
"I'm sure you've seen it loads"
"It's in every God and Devil movie"
You know it as the crossroads
My champion plays you to win
The loser gets your soul
You play guitar or something else
At least that is the goal
"I don't play any music"
"I can't play the guitar"
"I can't keep tune when whistling"
"Can't find the jukebox at the bar"
"OK then...we'll do something else"
"You know you'll still be mine"
"It would have been much better"
"But, I'll still win you...that's fine"
"Singings out....can you tell a joke"
"nope and surely nope"
"**** it....oops too late"
"I'd have pulled out old Bob Hope"
"You don't steal jokes the way he did"
"And not end up down here"
"I wish I didn't grab his soul"
"I wanna tell ya's all I hear"
" Ok then what is it you do?
"What contest shall we wage"
"I've got a super show room there"
"What can you do up on stage?"
"Dance?".."nope"..."juggle?"...nope
"What can you do real well?"
"Can you play a golden fiddle?"
"We've got four of them in hell"
"We've had showdowns of all shape and size"
"We've done all that one can do"
"We've played music, danced and jitterbugged"
"And now...I'm stuck with you"
"Your'e boring lad, you know that kid"
"God will win your soul no sweat"
"And frankly, you're a failure"
"You're souls not that good to get"
"I thought I had a winner"
"A man whose life was run by vice"
"But, here you are a loser"
"And I could have lost you twice!"
"I should have let God have you"
"I'll be marked out as a fool"
"For the soul The Devil's seeking"
"Should be worthy as a rule"
" I know" he said aloud
"It took some time to think"
"The one thing that I'm good at"
"I can really chug a drink"
"You saw me on my ******"
"You know I'll do you proud"
"I think I'd rather stay down here"
"I think I like the crowd"
That's different, thought The Devil
He's taken up my side
There's nothing in the rule book
It's not a cheat....I've tried
God...he just won't like it
It's not been done before
He comes along to save you
It's your soul he's fighting for
He has to have a champion
One to come and take you on
I've got all the rock stars
And the Rat Pack...bring it on.
Five rounds....five shots
The first one finished wins
I know you'll like it down here boy
There's a multitude of sins
I will pick for two rounds
And God will pick the rest
Contrary to popular belief
He still thinks he's the best
The contest is a snoozer
First Jim Beam and then Old Crow
And God will have his choices
He will lose and then he'll go
At this point one more Angel
Came with choices wrapped in silk
God would like the last drinks
To each be a large milk
Your kidding right, Milk you say
His soul is mine for sure
Let's put a little extra on
Let's bet a little more
The Angel said, God is prepared
To do a bet...a  one-off
If you should win he says next year
The Leafs will make the play-offs
The contest waged and God did win
Four rounds easily hurdled
Then finally the ***** and milk
Got mixed and the milk curdled
The Devil knew the soul he lost
Would come again,....no fear
He knew that another hopeless soul
Would soon come bend his ear....

i've lived three hundred lifetimes
i know three hundred ways to die
I can't stop coming back here
I know, because I've tried

An endless cosmic circle
Where my soul is on the move
I've lived three hundred lifetimes
I'm stuck in an empty, hollow, groove

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

I've come back as a sailor
Then I drowned while out at sea
I've come back as a mother
died in pregnancy

Each time, there is a feeling
That I've been in this place in time
I can't explain the feeling
I'm in a groove, not on a line

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

I know that I have met you
Once or twice our paths have crossed
There's a feeling that surrounds you
But, still I feel that I am lost

After three hundred seven lifetimes
Before I'm in the ground
I've got a feeling that we're special
I'm lost as lost, but, not quite found

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

You know, I didn't even know it
That I was lost, until you came
into my life and found me
because you too had felt the same

Until you came along and found me
I didn't know I was lost...but you
Came into my life and found me
I guess that's what soul mates do.

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

Another empty bar room
Playing songs for empty chairs
A deaf dog and his blind master
Are in the crowd and no one cares
The singer tells his stories
No one really wants to know
They're trying to watch the tv
No one cares about his show

A break comes and he's sitting
Talking to the tender of the bar
On a torn and worn out bar stool
Eating pickled eggs out of a jar
Complaining of his station
How he is just playing, making rhymes
When a voice out of the corner asks
"Can we talk...if you've time"

I've been around for ever
Since time began for sure
I can help you if you'll let me
I can open up the doors
I'm known by many titles
Silver tongued, though I may be
I can help you if you'll let me
But, my help....is not for free

I've helped singers before you
Wives, and mothers, fathers, sons
I've helped with politics and warfare
I've been at both ends of the gun
In your case, it is simple
I'll talk of music and of muse
And I'll give you some advice boy,
Some advice, I think you'll use

I was there back in the fifties
When Hank Williams died en route
Who'd you think was driving?
I helped him pick his suit
I made deals with Elvis Presley
One too many so it seems
I help many climb the mountain
They deal with me to reach their dreams

I've been around for ever
Since time began for sure
I can help you if you'll let me
I can open up the doors
I'm known by many titles
Silver tongued, though I may be
I can help you if you'll let me
But, my help....is not for free


Talent is a godsend,
****, I hate that word
But, it only gets you started
You don't move on, if you're not heard
I was there with Jimi Hendrix
I sat and watched him die
He was only one of many
Who could look me in the eye

I've crashed cars and downed airplanes
I've watched so many play the fool
I was there back in the sixties
Pushing Brian Jones into his pool
Keith Moon and countless others
Have sought my help to move along
They gave their souls for ever
For the small price of just a song

I've been around for ever
Since time began for sure
I can help you if you'll let me
I can open up the doors
I'm known by many titles
Silver tongued, though I may be
I can help you if you'll let me
But, my help....is not for free




I helped a man named Chapman
Buy a gun and change his time
He wanted to be famous
And I wanted his soul to be mine
I helped Belushi load his needle
I was there with music ******
I remember how Jim Morrison
Shut his eyes, and closed the Doors

I can help you if you'd let me
Take you far from clubs like these
Put you far up on a mountain
Where people come crawling on their knees
The man looked at the stranger
The barkeep couldn't see
Don't worry said the stranger
Right now, it's you and me

I've been around for ever
Since time began for sure
I can help you if you'll let me
I can open up the doors
I'm known by many titles
Silver tongued, though I may be
I can help you if you'll let me
But, my help....is not for free


There's a deal upon the table
It might be vague, but trust me son
No one else in life will help you
I'm the only one
As there's a god in heaven
He doesn't care if you get rich
And face it, aren't these taverns
Just enough to be a *****
I can have you playing big shows
Selling out, folks know your name
You can be the one controlling
Not just playing in the game

A handshake, all I need right now
The contract, I'll work on
Just tell me that you'll do it
And from now on, I'll be gone
I was Allen Klein to many
Colonel Tom to others too
I've been Beelzebub and Faustus
I've been many names to you

I've been around for ever
Since time began for sure
I can help you if you'll let me
I can open up the doors
I'm known by many titles
Silver tongued, though I may be
I can help you if you'll let me
But, my help....is not for free


The offer is a good one
Just look around and make a choice
You came here on a greyhound
You'll leave in a Rolls Royce
Time will be your ally
You will have all the time you need
To reach the music high ground
To have the fame, to succeed

The barkeep broke the silence
The singer went back to the stage
But, somehow he was different
It seemed the singer turned the page
What answer did he give him
Did he take the Devil's deal
Was this just a drunken vision
Or was this devil's offer real

We may never know the answer
For talent only goes so far
And for now the singer's singing
To a deaf dog in this old bar
The silver tongued kibitzer
Disappeared into the night
Did our singer sell his soul or
Did our singer do what's right?

The topic for today's selection

Is how to deal with your *******

The price is high to get a thrill

But, it comes in a small blue pill

If your private will not shoot

Or, your soldier won't salute

There's an answer from a lab

That comes to you in a small blue tab

If you have poor self esteem

This pill could just fulfill your dreams

If your pecker seems to wilt

This will give your kilt a tilt.

So, if your manhood is slightly flaccid

Like the waters of Lake Placid

One small pill will make a diff

It won't take long and you'll be stiff

It works deep down on your projection

And points it in the right direction

It helps the package in your trousers

And makes the women all say "wowsers!"

They tried a cream, now that is gone

They couldn't get their work gloves on

They say it works and really fast

And helps to make your love life last

Your girl will love it, that's the goal

For now you've got a brand new pole

Dr. Frankenstein, he brought life

But, no excitement for his wife

She wanted more than he could give

The Doctor's "Monster" didn't live

They say don't drink it with a beer

The side effects are ones I fear

They say that if your BP drops

There's chances that your heart could stop

And should it last for say....4 hours

You should take some cold, cold, showers

Then, if it's still petrified,

I guess...go take it for a ride

Apparently, when it's like this

It makes it really hard to ****

But, if this pill should make it stand

Don't go waste it in your hand

Don't buy generic, at least not yet

For there's no telling what you'll get

It may stand up, it may lay down

It might just turn a dark, dark brown

Remember, it's to give you pride

And make your smile ten feet wide

It's not to ask "what's in my pocket"

"Well, dear it's shaped  like a rocket"

It's something to improve your life

And return enjoyment to your wife

For now that she knows this stuff works

You won't be wasting it on  jerks

You'll  be home where there's no pressure

And having *** at your own leisure

So now, I'll end with some advice

And I don't want to have to  tell you twice

The next time you go to NIagra

Take along a few ******!

Alarm clock dead, power's out
What've I got to shout about?
Running late, we're behind
It's things like this make me lose my mind
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Notes written, Kids set to go
Open the fridge, and boom...power goes
It's never ending, all frustrating
The problems are just resonating
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Kids dropped off, on the road
When suddenly another load
Of troubles makes my day
It makes me want to say
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Tire's flat, that's not new
What's a guy supposed to do?
I smile and call for towing
My temper now is showing
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Get in late, that's a given
Boss says "Turner, you're not driven"
"Success comes hard, it isn't easy"
That's when I get really queasy
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Not worth fighting, got a meeting
Meanwhile I am overheating
All I know is that I try
And days like this just make me cry
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Work the day out, heading home
Knowing I am not alone
Millions more go through this too
What's a guy supposed to do?
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Ads are fake, and it's all phony
As I sit watching on my Sony
But one day it'd be really nice
To have that life, and glacier ice
Hot girls, Cold Beer, Fridge full, Good Cheer
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Great view, Fast Cars, Good Friends, Full Bars
Why can't life be a beer ad for me?
Really, Why can't life be a beer ad?
Just one little, stinking ****** beer ad...For Me?