Charlie Chaplin, set the pace
Buster Keaton, old stone face
Groucho and the brothers Marx
Margaret Dumont for some sparks
Harold Lloyd, The Brothers Ritz
Did I mention Zazu Pitts?
Stan and Ollie, Keystone Cops
Chases that just wouldn't stop
The Stooges, Larry, Curly, Moe
and then theres Shemp and Curly Joe
Bing and Bob, and Dean and Jerry
Two could sing, while two made merry
Bud and Lou and who's on first?
Harry Langdon and Charlie Chase
I think who is on first base
Mabel Normand and Mack Swain
Always tied before the train
Pie fights, slapstick in black and white
This was when we laughed all night
Mack Sennet, Roach, and Our Gang
Spanky and Alfalfa sang
Words were twisted, spun and turned
People splashed and others burned
Remember back to days of yore
To when they had you on the floor
Rembember Baby Rose Marie
She started at the age of three
Many more could make the list
For many I know that I missed
Make 'em laugh and take a pie
Get sprayed with seltzer in the eye
Go and watch their films again
So comedy will always reign
Thank you to the funny folk
Who taught us how to take a joke....

An overnight sensation
Twenty years in the making
Finally you're noticed
All the roles that you've been taking

High School plays gave you the bug
Standing out front and centre stage
You made your choice of a career
Your life had turned a page

Little theatre groups did beckon
You'd learn your craft and be a star
But, no one told you just how long
you'd wait, or ...just how far

You beat the boards in summer stock
Singing Gershwin in the park
You'd work in summer themed resorts
Cleaning rooms out after dark

Acting, was your calling
You'd be a star one day...you knew
But, even though you'd keep on working
Your name to them was...who?

Extra work and commercials
You'd work the chorus for a while
No matter where you heard...no luck
You'd always leave them with a smile

You swore you'd not get botox
There'd be no nip and tuck
You swore you'd keep on trying
Remember...you've got pluck!!!

The lines were forming around your eyes
As time kept marching on
Your lips were getting thinner
The lead actress roles were gone

You'd pile on the makeup
And you'd lie about your age
No one checked your background out
So, you lied about the stage

But, one day ...there was a call back
A job you never thought was yours
It was sure to go to a younger girl
A true , new, photogenic *****

But, there it was....an offer
The one role to get your start
It said "Miss Watkins we are proud"
"to offer you the part"

You gratefully accepted,
didn't let them know the truth
It was better than a cruise ship show
You were truly through the roof

It was a show way  off broadway
The big time was around the bend
You could see the lights from out the back
You had made it...you'd pretend

The makeup went on heavy
But no one really cared
they just ate up your performance
Your soul you truly bared

The critics were enamored
They all loved you at first sight
It only took you twenty years
But, you'd made it overnight...

Why is when you are near
My heart is out of time
Why is it hard to catch my breath
When you are close, close by
My mind is all a muddle
when you are in the room
I can not make the words I want
Whenever you are near

My body has reactions
To your presence in my space
My thoughts are all a jumble
When I see your sweet face
I never do this normally
I can not explain why
But, it happens to me frequently
whenever you come by

I wish I knew the reason
Why do I act this way?
I wish that I could tell you
But, my mouth won't let me say
I love you and I always will
But, whenever you are near
My teeth and tongue and lips are tied
There'll be no sense in what you hear

Why does my heart skip a beat
When ever you're around
My skin gets wet and clammy
It knows you can be found
Somewhere close to where I am
My body lets me know
Why can I not make a sane thought
Why do you vex me so?

As long as you're around me
I can't think or breathe or write
I'm fine when you're not with me
But, as soon as you're in sight
My heart beats out of rhythm
And my mind's not working right
I love you and I need you
But, one thing that I fear
Is that these feelings all will leave me
If you are truly here

Black and White, Coloured
It doesn't seem to matter
Technicolour, Sensoround
Made the audio much fatter
Shaking seats, scented mists
Make most patrons go scatter
To me, it's still a movie show
And entertainment's all that matters

With technological intracies
That boggle one mans mind
there are movies being made today
With images refined
Clarity and texture match
and a green screen there behind
CGI is god today
And so...it was designed

Today, I pushed the envelope
Moving dimensions one more out
I've seen 2D and 3D films
This one made me shout
In the middle of the first scene
It felt so real without a doubt
That I had to take my glasses off
This new dimension....I must tout

Even with my glasses off
It seemed so real to me
I've never seen a film like this
Not even in 3D
A mystical intrusion
And my senses were set free
Then my wife leaned over silent like
And this she said to me....

"Sit still....shut up....it's a play you idiot!"

Hero....easily described
but, not so easily found
I've two that I remember
Now, both six feet in the ground

Not firemen, or athletes
Not policeman or my dad
But these two people are heroes
And that I met them makes me glad

Simon, strong as true forged steel
A kid with only one speed in his head
He was always pushing limits
And now poor Simon's dead

He was ten when I first met him
He was in a chair, but hey, big deal
Simon was a true survivor
He showed me just how I should feel

He showed me I was handicapped
He told me off when it was due
Until I treated him like other kids
He showed me stuff I never knew

He left us far too early
A little boy, not yet a man
but, Simon, you're my hero
You showed the reason for "I can"

The other one, I only knew
For a short time years ago
He was two when I first met him
With skin as white as fallen snow

We both shared a room together
He wouldn't live a long long life
He had luekemia and was dying
Too young to have this strife

He was always smiling broadly
As happy as someone could be
He didn't know that he was dying
He didn't know he'd not see three

But, his smile and his shining eyes
They showed me what it means
To live each day like it's your last
And to not make big, sad scenes

Both these special children
Left impressions on my heart
They are my special heroes
Who never got a chance to start

You've led me places beyond description
You've led me down a different path
You've taken me to destinations
You've made me cry and made me laugh
You've been my rock and inspiration
You've pushed me more than you could know
You've made me someone better
You had me at hello

I've done things I would not consider
Because of how you make me feel
I've become a better person
Because of knowing what is real
I've learned to share and be less selfish
Because of you and what you say
I've found a new and better person
You made me who I am today

I never knew that love had power
Like it does when I'm with you
It's a feeling beyond description
It makes us one instead of two
Years ago when I first saw you
It was just minutes before I'd go
And then I got your invitation
And you had me at hello

I am now slightly older than I was a while ago
and I have a question I need answered in my life before I go
can anybody tell me exactly what "it" is
can you tell me where to find "it", can I lose "it" with a kiss

I hear tell of some parents screaming when they learn "it"'s lost
I don't know just what "it" looks like, or exactly what "it" cost
But, to hear the parents yelling, "it" must really cost a lot
Can anybody tell me, is "it" something that I've got?

I hear movie stars all have "it", musicians have "it" too
Nobody can explain "it", or exactly what "it" do
I went looking for"it" last week, thought I had "it", but did not
I got arrested trying to buy "it", in the end I did not

My wife says someone has "it", and I look and I don't see
She shows me people who have lost "it", and it's all the same to me
I don't have "it", can not find "it", wouldn't want "it", too much fuss
I told someone at the Legion, she said she lost "it" on the bus

Now, that made it more confusing, It made my head just spin
She sat there and she told me, behind a wicked little grin
She said she had "it", and she lost "it", in fact she gave "it" away
I asked her, if "it" was worth "it",  she said "it" really made her day

So, I sit here with my question, can you tell me what "it" is?
I just don't understand "it", is there something that I missed?
I see people I'm told have "it", but I can't tell from afar
And I've met people, who have lost "it", gave " it " up in their Dad's car

My wife says that I have 'it", I smile as if I really know
So I tell her that she has "it" too, even though " it" doesn't show
I ask her if she wants  one more, she just smiles and nods her head
She tell me, "You've still got "it", and then she leads me off to bed...."

I'm so confused....

Martin Luther had a dream
Geronimo had visions
People use all sorts of ways
To come to their decisions

Tea leaf readers in a cup
A Psychic with some cards
Looking at a twirling disc
And dancing in the yard

Decision making's easy
If you have the correct tool
You may get the right answer
Or you may end up a fool

Shaman in a sweat lodge
Chew peyote just to see
What the others can not visualize
But what comes easy to folks like me

Some roll dice, and others bones
To get the answer that they need
Others ask the dead to help
To get their answer freed

I myself use none of these
None of these at all
I sit down with a bourbon
And my old Magic Black 8-ball

I switched the little answer ball
It has answers....only two
One is just the one word "dude"
And "what would Keith Richards do?"

"Dude" is universal
It has helped me win not lose
Because it's meaning changes
Depending on the "u"'s

Say it with one U...dude
it means don't even think it
But add eight more and make it duuuuuuuuude
And there's no question you should drink it

The other answer's simple
What would good old Keefy do?
If it didn't **** old Keefy
It won't **** me and you

So, use your magic mushrooms
Dance with spirits in the hall
But I'll make my decisions
With my plastic, black eight ball

Today I got the "look"
You men know the "look"
Well, today I got it
And it wasn't from my wife
It was a scary "look"

When my wife gives me the "look"
I sit down, and shut up real fast
You can't win against the look
I know...I've tried
I lost...to the "look"
today I got it from a stranger

My wife is good with the "look"
A real professional
I'm sure there are days, I'm sure of this
That my neighbor sits down
And shuts up, in sympathy...
He knows someone is getting the "look"
He doesn't know who...but he sits down

today, I said something at work
And I got the "look"
I wasn't scared though
It wasn't my wife, what could happen?
I found out what could happen
Two more women....and a stronger look
Not as good as my wife though
But....I was looking for a chair in case

I've tried giving the "look"
Doesn't work....my wife laughs
says I look constipated
I can't do the "look"
I thought I had the "look" once
they called an ambulance
by the time I explained the "look" to the nurses
I was getting the "look" from the nurses
I gave up trying

they sent me home....by bus
they said I didn't deserve a cab
they called my wife....I sat down
I know she was giving me the "look" over the phone
She's good
I got the bus....sat down...tried to stand
Couldn't....I was still getting the "look"
Didn't see it...didn't have to...but I sat down
She is good!!

Last word of advice about the "look"
Don't argue....don't dare speak
and don't make eye contact....
you'll end up sitting down right there
You may *** yourself, and you may
Just admit to something you didn't do
That will get you another "look"
Just be smart...sit down and shut up
Wait an hour, and try to stand
If you can...you're safe
Beware the "look"
The most dangerous weapon in your woman's arsenal....

You've been together for almost a month now
It's time that you shared this with friends
But, beware of the wolf in sheeps clothing
Because this is how most friendships end

You feel it is time to expose him
To your friends and to let them all in
But, beware of the wolf in sheeps clothing
He's the original purveyor of sin

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

Your girlfriends all think he is ****
He laughs when they laugh and you too
But, do you know of this wolf in sheeps clothing
and just exactly what he plans to do

He flirts and he turns down advances
He smiles and he's light on his feet
but remember the wolf in sheeps clothing
Is busy picking which one he shall eat

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

He may be the one you've been wanting
But, in truth, he's not really the one
Deep down, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing
And he's only out looking for fun

He fooled you and used you for pleasure
He'll move on, when you say settle down
Remember, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing
He's the king and he wears the crown

You've opened the door to the hen house
There's a fox running lose in the pen
You opened the door to the hen house
He will feast and return to his den
You opened the door to the hen house
You've let him meet your girl friend
You opened the door to the hen house
Now the fox will run wild till the end

When did the world get colour?
did it happen overnight?
In all the older photographs
The sky is black and white
The trees are grey, the leaves aren't green
All the cars are grey as well
when did the world get colour?
Is there someone who can tell?

black and white in photos
black and white in all we did
One kept to another
Even when one was a kid
Don't mix them, it's immoral
It's a secret we keep hid
When did the world get colour?
Did God just lift the lid?

It's funny how with colour
all the photos that we like
Are the ones that show we're happy
The one's in black and white
We were posing looking silly
But were content in who we were
When did the world get colour?
Can you answer me please, sir?

Colour brings together
Lots of things, it shows our heart
Black and White,it is divisive
It's always driving things apart
There is an issue with one's colour
A racist gene beneath the skin
why can't the world be full of colour?
The way it's always been

black and white in photos
black and white in all we did
One kept to another
Even when one was a kid
Don't mix them, it's immoral
It's a secret we keep hid
When did the world get colour?
Did God just lift the lid?

People coming by with tins of food and towels
Newspapers, toys and blankets, and little plastic trowels
I don't understand the reason they are coming
We're a charity, we don't need this stuff
But, still they keep on coming, bringing food by the truck
There's tins, and bags and skids
There's enough towels for turban training in British Columbia
And papers, lots of newspapers, tons of newspapers
But, we are a charity looking for donations
This doesn't make sense, all of this animal product showing up
Until I checked my email.....
**** I hate auto correct on the phone
I told people we hoped to increase last years donations
And hit a grand total of 101 thousand
Thanks to my Iphone...we sent out a message
that we had a grand total of a 101 thousand dalmations
God, I hate auto correct

I looked and saw frost on the pumpkin
Strange because it's July
I don't understand the frosted pumpkin
Can someone tell me why?
I've never seen it this cold in summer
Our old lows are now our new high
I looked and saw frost on the pumpkin
I still cannot figure out why

Birds flying over my back yard
Drop from the sky, all stone dead
There's no reason for this strange occurrence
So, I blame global warming instead
Crows and pigeons drop like missles
Hitting ground and just missing my head
What with this morning cold frost on the pumpkin
and now birds are dropping stone dead

You ask and they tell you don't worry
There's nothing to fear in the sky
It's normal that things like this happen
Things are all born just to die
Global Warming you must be quite crazy
It's a fallacy, it's all in your head
Don't worry about the stock market
Worry about birds hitting your head

A spot has appeared on my rib cage
Just a spot, nothing much, nothing strange
but, since I saw frost on the pumpkin
I keep watching the spot for a change
I used to play out in the sunshine
Now there is a scale, a safe range
I've a spot that just seems to get bigger
I think that my spot's started to change

Water is bottled in plastics
It's not safe to drink out of the tap
the rivers and streams are all dry now
And the trees hardly have any sap
The fish are all farmed in a warehouse
Where they don't swim upstream they swim laps
You can't swim around all the beaches
For the oil wells may blow a cap

You ask and they tell you don't worry
There's nothing to fear in the sky
It's normal that things like this happen
Things are all born just to die
Global Warming you must be quite crazy
It's a fallacy, it's all in your head
Don't worry about the stock market
Worry about birds hitting your head

My grass is a nice shade of brown now
I used to know my grass as green
But, they ban using water in May so,
The weeds are the only green thing that's seen
Pesticides, they are all natural
The government does not say what it means
You can go to the Parliament buildings
Because that's the only grass that is green

Dead birds and frosted up pumpkins
Dry rivers and lakes and dead grass
Say a prayer for them all this next Sunday
and an extra one too at the mass
There is no reason I know of
Don't worry, it will come to pass
That you will have to go to a museum
To see a live bird and green grass

You ask and they tell you don't worry
There's nothing to fear in the sky
It's normal that things like this happen
Things are all born just to die
Global Warming you must be quite crazy
It's a fallacy, it's all in your head
Don't worry about the stock market
Worry about birds hitting your head

You've got to be set to take the losses
If you gamble just to win
You've got to accept defeat at times
That's the way it's always been
You have to know that life's a gamble
And be set to take one on the chin
You've got to know how to take a loss
To learn how to take the win

Be it sports, or work or love
You're bound to lose some time
To got through life with out defeat
To not have lost one dime
No one wins at everything
Being perfect is a crime
You have to learn to lose for fun
For that's the reason to this rhyme

You can't always be a winner
You have to lose to move ahead
If you can't afford the lesson
Then you'd best just stay in bed
Life is what you make it
It's only over when you're dead
If you can't afford the losses
Then you'd better stay in bed

A winner doesn't gamble
His mindset is the win
It doesn't always happen
And therein lies the sin
A winner know the odds when
He should start to be again
A winner doesn't gamble
A true loser doesn't win

If you can't afford the losses
Then get out of the game
People will destroy you
They don't want to know your name
There's been others here before you
And they all end up the same
If you can't afford the losses
Then you'd best not play the game

You've got to be set to take the losses
If you gamble just to win
You've got to accept defeat at times
That's the way it's always been
You have to know that life's a gamble
And be set to take one on the chin
You've got to know how to take a loss
To learn how to take the win

A child's eyes show innocence
They are open to things new
They show with no discretion
They see all the things we do
A child's eye's receptive
To the joy and pain we see
It's a window, unobstructed
It's the way that things should be

A young man's eyes, they wander
They see the future not the past
They are open to advancement
They see things that we know don't last
A young man's eyes are blurry
They show them what they want to see
They show innocence is missing
They show that nothing good is free

The eyes of a middle aged man
They are the windows to the end
They see retirement is coming
They see that age is not a friend
The eyes of a middle aged man
They show regret and are all red
These eyes are always tired
They show what they should have done instead

The eyes of an old man show
The innocence of the child
They show recollection of their passage
They are full of love and they are mild
They old man's eyes look backward
More than at the future that is passed
They see the good times far behind them
They show the memories that will last

Your eyes, they are the window
To the world you see each day
They show you things of beauty
They show the world at play
An innocent sees nothing but
The world as it should be
So, take the time and clean your window
And see the world like me

It must have been thirty five years ago now,
I remember the kid as clear as day
His name was Eddie, or Timmy or something
Remember him clear as day, I think it was Eddie
Well, this kid was sure something
A true believer in his ability to play the game
He really loved it, ****** at it, but the desire
You could see it in them brown eyes of his
Or were they blue?, no matter...they might have been brown
Anyways, kid had desire, no talent, but desire
Played third base for me, thought he was a pitcher
But, he played third...that I'm sure of
He didn't have speed enough to move anywhere else
And I think he was blind in his right eye,
So, he could only move left
Good kid, Timmy or Eddie
Had an arm like a rocket
the ball would just explode out of his hand
I never knew where it was going
And truthfully, I don't think he did either
But, wow....it went fast, wherever it ended up
Kid actually made it rain one day
Just because he threw the **** ball so high into the clouds
He was trying to throw to first, but hell, it went high
Always smiling this kid, always...
don't know if he was just happy
Or if his jaw hadn't grown right for his teeth,
But, he was always smiling
couldn't hit worth a ****, had a nice swing
But, that blind eye....couldn't see a pitch until it hit him
Cooled us down on the bench though
Made a hell of a breeze when he swung
He was good for that,
lots of wind from Eddie, or Timmy
He did get a hit once or twice, I remember that
Scared us, scared him too I imagine
But, he did hit it, and it did go a long way
Problem was it happened so infrequently
He always forgot to run
And when he did, he ran like a duck
*** wobbled all over, arms flailing, head still
Quack, Quack...run Eddie, I'd yell
He'd smile, and take off,
couldn't see where he was going
But he'd run....and he'd stop only when he felt like it
I remember he was Mexican looking, or Spanish
There, brown eyes...knew I'd remember
anyways, he got called out for swearing once
Knocked the **** cover off the ball
then he stood there and watched it go
By the time he started to run,
He'd Holy ******* at least three times
And got tossed by the umpire
I argued, but, the ump would draw the line at two
Three holy *****...that's a little much
But, he knocked that ball into the next county
He'd probably throw it there too if he tried
The kid had desire, no talent,
but a smile and desire
Got tossed after striking out once too
Struck out a lot, once he let loose with a barrage
And I mean a barrage of swear words ....In Italian no less
I always thought the kid was Mexican or Spanish or something
But, he swore in Italian in front of an Italian ump
Poor kid, three holy ***** in another language
And he got tossed,
If I could get him to stop at two....he'd be fine
Eddie was a good kid, I liked him
He tried, he smiled, and he was terrible
couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat
But he didn't care, and neither did I
But, Eddie, or Timmy, whoever he was
Was a good kid,
I hope he remembers me as fondly as I do him.

I'm sure the day will come
When you'll look back in time
And think of all the hearts you broke
And one of them was mine

You won't look back regretful
I'm sure you will not remember when
My heart was in your orbit
Along with those of other men

Broken hearts and empty beds
Are littered in your wake
You've done more damage than Katrina
And just for your own sake
You're nothing more than selfish
Although I used to love you so
I am grateful for the blessed day
That I grew up and made you go

Loneliness is awful
No one around as you age
You may still be an actress
But, you're the only one on stage

The character you're known for
Is a nasty one I fear
A heartbreaking shrew witch
to put it kindly dear

Broken hearts and empty beds
Are littered in your wake
You've done more damage than Katrina
And just for your own sake
You're nothing more than selfish
Although I used to love you so
I am grateful for the blessed day
That I grew up and made you go

I know men that once did love you
They are doing better now
There are more than I imagined
Stand on up and take a bow

Feelings of resentment
Not from this well mannered guy
I just thought I'd take a moment
To write this and say good bye

The weather plots his journey
Town to town in dead of night
Fields dead and on a gurney
He comes in to make it right

A rainmaker, people call him
A psuedo-scammer others say
He sells himself as godlike
He comes quick and does not stay

He tells people what they wish for
He beats the storm in to their town
He seeds their minds with his tall stories
He promises more green than brown

Like an evangelistic angel
He beats the weather to the ground
He's a salesman like no other
He picks their pockets with no sound

A rainmaker, just a scammer
He works the towns where nothing lives
He is an alchemist non-gratta
He always takes and never gives

He sells snake oil and concoctions
He is a shaman in disguise
He promises rain where none has fallen
There is more moisture in the farmers eyes

He takes credit for a rainfall
He promises gold where once was straw
He's a rumplestiltskin with their feelings
He sells them only what they wish they saw

He may believe in what he tells them
He always puts his name out on a stake
But, can he truly make the skies open
That is a choice the desperate make

No paints and not one canvas
Nothing sellable at all
But, an artist is an artist
With art to share with all

No profit in creations
No way to sell his works
But he creates pieces of magic
With lots of different quirks

His tools are nothing special
Pastels and pieces of old chalk
His canvasses are static
They're the place that people walk

He's a sidewalk chalk pastel artist
With only digital designs
His work goes with the weather
Cracked pavement creates lines

No matter where he travels
He can work when the muse strikes
But, he has to watch out for street walkers
And folks riding through on bikes

His pictures are amazing
Where real life ends you can not tell
But, because there is no canvas
He has nothing to sell

He creates from chalk and pastels
He is an artist just the same
As those with paint and easels
He just plays a different game

Donations are his lifesblood
An empty cup beside him lies
Stand back and be awed by
His artwork before it dies.

There is magic in live theatre
It can't be understood
For even watching a bad play
Is really something good
The footlights and the curtains
The sound of actors on the boards
Of orchestras and the sound effects
Of cheaply painted swords

The theatre is a special place
It excites me to no end
It's a long lost brother coming home
It's a warm and welcome friend
Sitting in a theatre
Waiting for the overture
Is an illness I suffer happily
And one for which I wish no cure

Good theatre is transporting
Takes you where the actor lives
You sense it in the speeches
That every actor gives
You get lost in what's going on
You feel hurt and you feel pain
And when you get another chance
You splurge and go again

Live theater is hypnotic
It's a world that stands alone
It's a place inside your being
You learn how love is shown
It's where you listen to great music
Played by artists never seen
Where you hear the actor's heartbeat
Unlike on the silver screen

Live theatre is true magic
I can't tell you how I feel
when I see a live performance
I know exactly what is real
The lights are slowly dimming
I hear them closing the lobby doors
Shhhhh....the orchestra is ready
Here comes the overture.....

I first saw her at a party
Skin Tight jeans and Farrah's hair
She glanced and smiled in my direction
Trouble's brewing and it ain't fair

I knew right then I had to have her
Couldn't get her off my mind
I'd take her home and I would show her
A love of the most carnal kind

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Working late without no distraction
The new secretary walked on in
I knew right then that I had to have her
My mind was thinking of only sin

She had a ring upon her finger
I didn't care, I had to know
She was selling and I was buying
I had some wild seed to sow

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Running practice for all the kids
Getting sweaty with soccer moms
There was one standing there right beside me
I had to have her...and get me some

I made a move and she responded
Flipped me right onto my back
I thought here she comes, it's gonna happen
Then she kicked me in the sack

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

I heard an antique music box
Play out of tune and rather sour
But, the smell that came from in the box
I could savour by the hour
It took me back to days gone by
Days where messages weren't mixed
Where you heard terms you no longer here
Like "he got eighty sixed"
You'd watch tv together
Or sit and sing around the fire
Things were simple, crisper then
Not all muddled in a mire
Things had double meanings
Now, this music box I speak of
played a tune, I'm not quite sure
I think I heard it in a movie
sung by Dorothy Lamour
Lovely Hula Hands...I think
It took me back to days before
You could see inside the music box
There was a little secret door
I worked to get it open
To see what secrets it did hold
What some child might have hidden
what to them glittered like gold
I worked the rusty hinge some
And it opened with a squeak
Inside I found a flower
so brittle and so weak
Someone hid this flower
for a reason, only theirs
And it remained here deep in hiding
Away from peoples stares
I wrapped it in some paper
Put it back inside to hide
I left it for someone to find it
Long years after I had died
I could imagine where it came from
I might be right or might be wrong
But, in the not too distant future
They'd try to figure out the song
I decided that I'd leave it
Out of tune and slightly bent
For a time when I would need to
go back in time, with that sweet scent

I came, I saw, I conquered
At least that's what I thought
But by my wife I am corrected
I was the one t'was caught

There is music almost everywhere
You can hear it in the breeze
Blowing gently through the dusty fields
Working slowly through the trees

Music is most everyplace
Just listen and you'll find
Music in the meadow grass
Music of every kind

The crickets make their squeaky noise
The birds they quack and coo
I hear music, if I'm listening
And I bet that you do too

There is music in a lover's voice
A gentle lilt in what they say
There is music in their breath as well
Listen closely as they lay

Don't close your ears to all that's there
You will miss the orchestra
You have two ears to listen with
Open up, hear nature roar.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned"
"Will you take my confession?"
"I'll listen to it, yes, my son"
"But, remember with who you're messing"
"Sorry father, I am confused"
"I do not get your meaning"
"Don't worry child, it's ok"
"It's not your soul needs gleaning"
"Tell me son, what did you do?"
"That you need to lose your burden"
"It can't be nearly half as bad"
"As all the folks we're hurtin"
"Again dear father, I'm confused"
"You speak in muddled rhymes"
"I'm sorry child, it's just that"
"We're in tough, embattled times"
"No matter what the sin you have"
"We've done much worse things than you"
"And I as Holy Father"
"I hide all the things they do"
"I say, my son...if there is one"
"Who needs to be absolved"
"You're sitting in this box with him"
"It's me who should be solved"
"I was the Pope, just days ago"
"I led the Holy Roman Church"
"No one was more powerful"
"And I left them in the lurch"
"I was the one who spoke to God"
"I was the Holy See"
"If God had wanted something done"
"He spoke to you through me"
"But, I chose my own path"
"Hiding sins of Catholic Priests"
"I turned away from all their wrongs"
"I let the bad ones feast"
"Pedophiles, I hid them all"
"I turned a blind eye to their sin"
"Then, I hid the papers showing proof"
"I would not let God come in"
"Now, I am protected"
"I can not be touched, you see"
"The Vatican is still my home"
"I'm not the Pope, but still am free"
"So, child, tell me what it is"
"You think may curse your soul"
"I'll give you three hail mary's"
"And then I'll send you for a stroll"
"I was the Pope, the voice of God"
"Now, I'm just a normal man"
"I'm as guilty as the rest of them"
"Catch Me If You Can!!!"

The cigarette butts were piling up out front
Where was that steady breeze?
So she wouldn't have to get the broom out
So, they would blow off to the trees
Way back in the corner though
One man continued to smoke inside
It was a right given to him years ago
No one ever argued, no one ever tried
The bar was smelling musty
No matter how hard she tried
The owner couldn't make it fresh
That's because all the food was fried
In the window, a brown and crumpled card
Notified the world "We're Open" now
But, outside of the old man, and the crew
No one in the outside world really knew
Visitors never came here,
they stayed away from here
The regs didn't care though
To them, it meant more beer
A college game was on TV
Two crap teams from the west
No one was really watching them
The regs liked the East the best
The carpet, full of burn marks
From cigarettes long burned out
Dropped from pursed and drunken lips
Who also no longer were about
The barkeep could tell stories
Though there was few there who hadn't heard
The stories of the past long gone
The regs knew every word
The posters drab and dreary
Selling beer from years ago
From breweries long since empty
And with tag lines nobody even knew
A poster for Black Label
and one for Jolly's brew
In the back sat a piano
Out of tune and never played
It had been out of use forever
The keys were cracked and grey
The bar itself was dying
A relic inside four walls
It was dressed in papered squalor
Like an old man with no *****
The windows showed their age
Shaking when the wind did blow
Ice was always building on them
There was more inside that in the snow
A breath of life was badly needed
The bar was really already dead
They hadn't made a dime in decades
They always ran it in the red
Today though, things would change
The door opened from the past
In walked a man of substance
Another character to the cast
He sat down on a bar stool
Ordered up, and looked around
And there standing in the corner
He saw the piano...with no sound
Asking if anybody played her
The barkeep said "No, she's long since died"
"Do you mind if I go and play her"
"It's been a while since someone tried"
He rolled it out from dark in hiding
Hit a key, and hurt his ear
Lifted the lid to look inside her
And then he ordered up another beer
He hit the keys and played a little
"Let's give this thing a whirl"
The sound it made was flat and pokey
"There's lot's of life in this old girl"
"I'll tune it up and come and play her"
"If you'd like...that is of course"
"Mr. if that's what makes you happy"
"But, I think you're beating a dead horse"
"By the way, they call me Johnny"
"Johnny Fingers if you please"
"I'll tune her up and play a while"
"I'll get her clean and bang those keys"
The barkeep offered up a contract
Tune her up and play for free
"If you're good, I'll pay you extra"
"The jury's out, we'll wait and see"
Johnny laughed and said "You got it"
"I'll play whenever you decide"
"I'll play whatever's asked for"
And he had a smile ten miles wide
The barkeep said "The venture's on then"
"Let's have a talk, and grab a seat"
"There are some things I have to tell you"
"Johnny....welcome to The Street".

I saw a myth destroyed
Actually, I saw it demolished
Stomped on, crushed
and totally abolished

We've all heard that
you look slimmer in black
Nope...big, fat lie
One myth is taken back

I went to a funeral
And the myth died
and joined the corpse
where it lied

Short, dumpy women
looking like dried out  asphalt,
with matching wedge heels
crying and wandering about

hair colour from bottles
dressed as lumps of coal
the black dress, it hid nothing
like that 13th stomach roll

little round faced women
crying little round faced tears
in hockey puck like dresses
they all went and bought at Sears

there were blondes and
there were red heads
flaming briquettes...all there
to bury a myth with the dead

some, and by some...I mean few
dressed in black...looked nice
but the myth that black is slimming
you can put that one on ice

Dark green urban tumbleweeds
Roll on up the road
Bouncing off the passing cars
Dispensing their rotting  load
Garbage bags full of waste
Full of the remnants of the week
Don't let one ever hit you though
They all have quite the reek
Urban, plastic, tumbleweeds
Put out early for the trash
They blow in all directions
Not knowing where they'll crash
Blue boxes trail them on their path
Leaving plastics  in their wake
It's only one plastic bin
But, the mess that it can make
Blue and green, like bulbous flies
Full of garbage and the dead
meat, and tins and paper
decayed food stuff and old bread
Urban plastic tumbleweeds
Every week blow in the wind
Scattering their insides on the landscape
Things that should be binned
It doesn't matter where you travel
But I know you're sure to find
Urban plastic tumbleweeds
holding garbage as designed.

The tourists all jostle for a look at the falls
At the point where the water just drops
It goes over the edge, crashing down far below
And then it's all over, it just stops

But, further up river before the falls are in sight
Where the river's hypnotic, dull and oh, so boring
The dark voices are waiting, hiding and calling
This is the place that the powers are storing

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

A dark, gloomy bar on the wrong side of town
Where the waitresses all dance for their tips
A strip joint so defined, but really not so
This is where one's morality slips

A sniff of a perfume, so fragrant yet cheap
Blurs your connection to the ring on your hand
The dark voices are calling, telling you things
Get the waitress and prove you're a man

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

You've returned from  a movie, back to your home
You must now take the babysitter back
Your wife stays home waiting for your return
But, with the babysitter you kind of lose track

You see a young body, and a glimpse of her breast
She crosses her legs, but you don't look that far
You share idle chatter, as you flirt like a kid
And you take the girl to the back seat of the car

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

The voices keep coming, just block them out
They feed on your weakness and pain
You have to ignore their pleadings to break down
For nothing good comes of them, there's nothing to gain

Jump in the water, go over the falls
Go with the dancer, surrender your life
Lay down with the baby sitter
Feel the voices twist the knife

Beware the dark voices
They come and they go
They infect your mind
You've heard them, you know
The dark voices are different
But, they always are there
Turn away from their callings
And as always....beware

Two teenagers, unknown to each
Each wishing on a star
She, for eternal love
Him, a brand new car
They never knew their paths would cross
And their wishes they would get
She found her love, and him...a car
Don't leave...there's more here yet....

College years and future dreams
Still to come, with who?
Two teenagers growing up alone
I know what's next...do you?
He bought his car with money earned
From working hard at night
While she still waited for her love
Do you think they'll meet.....they might!!

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

Their paths did cross while he was out
He saw her walking in the rain
He couldn't stop to help her out
But he had to get her name
He did his run and went on back
Hoping she was still en route
She was soaked right through as he drove up
So, a dry ride home was moot

He took her home and she dried off
He sat waiting with a drink
She got all changed and then came out
He was not sure what to think
A t-shirt and her housecoat
Was all that she had on
She was sending him a message
He thought it time that he was gone

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

They dated from that night until
They decided they should wed
They were both near graduation
And they knew where they should head
They married and had children
They were perfect in every way
Imagine all this from a star
You wouldn't get all this today

As time went by, like it always does
They realized that their dreams
Were not the one's they used to share
They were ripping at the seams
The kids were always fighting
And I guess, they were too
Her dream of finding eternal love
I guess, had fallen through

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

They now slept in separate bedrooms
The kids were out and off to school
No matter what the weather
The house was always cool
They never spent a moment
Together anymore
The only ***, was a quick "*******"
As they passed on through the door

His car was dead and buried
With their marriage close behind
She'd wished upon a shooting star
And didn't like what she did find
Your dreams are what you make them
A star has a shelf life...don't forget
Before you wish upon one
Beware of what you'll get

When you wish upon a star
Remember which you picked
For now, you may get what you want
But, in the end....be tricked

Do not weep for our dear friend
Think of him this night
In terms that he would really love
Nascar turned him "right"
We lost a friend we loved today
Our family down by one
Remember Al in your own way
He's now a star, a blazing sun
A father, granddad, brother
A friend to all who crossed his path
A man to share a story with
A man to share a laugh
A green, white, checkers finish
Is the way our friend lived his time
He was a mentor to so many
I'm glad that his path did cross mine
I will toast his life in honour
Break out the port and praise his name
For I am proud I knew him
And I hope you all feel the same
We all share many stories
Of our time with our dear friend
And though we're hurt so by his passing
The tales we tell will never end
A hangover on drambuie
A trip to watch a race
Each story shared is special
Each story has it's place
Remember now our friend Al
How he'd laugh and tell a joke
He'd not want us to weep for him
But, to go and sneak a smoke.....

Your'e my missing half
The part I need
The piece that fills
My carnal need

You are the one
That makes me be
The best man I
can ever be

I'll wait for you
If that's your wish
I'll do your bidding
Just for a kiss
I'll cross the sands
and swim the sea
I'll wait for you
If you wait for me

Together we make
One complete
We win together
Apart....defeat

You are my yin
and I your yang
You are the words
That my heart sang

I'll wait for you
If that's your wish
I'll do your bidding
Just for a kiss
I'll cross the sands
and swim the sea
I'll wait for you
If you wait for me

I love you more
Than one man should
I love you more
Than I thought I could

You are my finish
My one, my soul
Your heartfelt love
It makes me whole

I'll wait for you
If that's your wish
I'll do your bidding
Just for a kiss
I'll cross the sands
and swim the sea
I'll wait for you
If you wait for me

I'm not one for religion
I believe in what I choose
I am not one to comment
on Christians, Hindus, Jews
Put your faith in something
It's not my place to say where
But, if it doesn't work the first time
Don't just leave it there
I believe there is a reason
But, I still do not know what
Things are not determined
Make the best of what you've got
I can't explain to someone
the things I do not know
And I hate religion salesmen
On TV selling faith there on their show
Having faith is something special
It's something I can't quite get
Many people talked to me
But, I don't get it yet
I have been to church to listen
And see if I find God
But, I leave still feeling empty
I feel such a silly sod
Mary, Joseph, Angels
I can put a face to these
But it doesn't give me solace
I can't drop to my knees
The last time that I went there
I sat in back beside a lad
And when the service finished
He was sitting, rather sad
He looked at me and questioned
Between some sniffles and some sneezes
If I could help him understand
About the baby cheeses !!

Life is not pre-destined
One path is not that's there
Life is misadventure
The end...you know not where

Sometimes people lead you
Other times you make your way
But, paths they are all changing
Where will you end up today

Roads are twisted and forbidden
Some are dry and some are wet
The road may be straight or be a forked one
If it's forked you best take it!!

Start a path, don't look behind you
Change the scene of your attack
Start your path and take on others
Move ahead and don't look back

Life is full of trips and stumbles
It's not just a rosy road
don't always take the road less travels
But always help to share a load

People come and join your journey
Some may stay and others leave
The one's who stay may be unwanted
The ones who don't you learn to grieve

Listen to the world around you
Listen to those from before
They know the roads that are the safest
These are the folks who know the score

If you travel on with no one
And a forked road you do get
If you see a forked road take it
advice from Yogi...your best bet!!!

Colours, bright and blazing
Colours, dark and drab
Colours all around us
Colours we can grab
Wear your colours proudly
In almost all you do
But, be careful with your colours
Others have colours too

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell

Your colours tell us lots of things
Like which team you support
But, wear your colours carefully
Or you'll end up in court

Colours can cause skirmishes
Colours can cause wars
Colours can cause arguements
Colours break down doors

Wear your colours proudly
No matter what they be
But, A White Hood worn in Harlem
And you'll be hanging from a tree

Colours are religion
Colours are your soul
Colours show your preference
Colours make you whole

I don't know what your colour is
In fact I just don't care
I only know your colours
Let others know you're there

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell

Colours push the envelope
Colours blur the lines
Colours make a challenge
Colours show whats mine
Colours make us happy
Colours take away
Colours help us know ourselves
Colours make our day

Wear your colours proudly
Be it red, or black or pink
Yellow, Green or Orange
No matter what folks think
But, wear your colours safely
Wear them and be proud that you are seen
But, be careful what they say because
Remember just what colours mean
This is not written as a warning
I just want you to be proud
Of what colours signify you
Wear them out and wear them loud

Black and White
Red and Blue
Orange, Green as well
Blue and Grey
Dark or Light
Colours show and tell

Back in upstate New York
she was a girl with stars in her eyes
She hopped a freight out westward
And tried Vegas on for size

Off strip hotels, little shows
Young Delores danced with glee
She was working in Las Vegas
the home of Jubilee

"Do you have a minute folks?'
"Do you need tickets for a show?"
"Will you be in town tonight?"
"There's a place you need to go"
"Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"We could send you for a meal"
"You just have to see our condo's"
"It's a real fantastic deal"

Twenty years upon the strip
Wearing fruit baskets on her head
Delores was a showgirl
Even though the shows were dead

She danced backup for lounge singers
She was with Wayne Newton for a while
She still had all the attributes
That made the tourists smile

"Do you have a minute folks?'
"Do you need tickets for a show?"
"Will you be in town tonight?"
"There's a place you need to go"
"Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"We could send you for a meal"
"You just have to see our condo's"
"It's a real fantastic deal"

Time went by as it always does
Her body said "No more"
Dancing in the big time shows
Had made her body sore

Options down in Vegas
For ex-showgirls were not good
But she wasn't going east again
Even though folks said she should

"Do you have a minute folks?'
"Do you need tickets for a show?"
"Will you be in town tonight?"
"There's a place you need to go"
"Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"We could send you for a meal"
"You just have to see our condo's"
"It's a real fantastic deal"

She didn't have the hands for dealing
The casino was her second home
But, she didn't want to waitress
She was just too old to roam

But in Vegas, there's a sub trade
One she had the smile for
She could still work in the casinos
And help get people through the door

"Do you have a minute folks?'
"Do you need tickets for a show?"
"Will you be in town tonight?"
"There's a place you need to go"
"Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"We could send you for a meal"
"You just have to see our condo's"
"It's a real fantastic deal"

Selling timeshares to the folks
Who come in all the time
They could get free shows and dinners
And it wouldn't cost a dime

Delores was still a show girl
But, it was not the same by far
But, she was still selling in Vegas
And Delores was still a star

"Do you have a minute folks?'
"Do you need tickets for a show?"
"Will you be in town tonight?"
"There's a place you need to go"
"Will you be in town tomorrow?"
"We could send you for a meal"
"You just have to see our condo's"
"It's a real fantastic deal"...

I can not sing songs, but I do
I used to not write, but who knew
So I sing and I write
And I do both every night
I can not sing songs, but I do

My voice is not good, but so what
It's the only **** voice that I've got
I sing what I know
I sing high and sing lo
My voice is not good, but so what?

I wish I wrote songs, but I can't
My poems mostly rhyme, and some rant
I can not write songs
But, I'll write all day long
I wish I wrote songs, but I can't

I can not play music, I just write
I don't write real deep, only light
I wish I could play
But, I can't so I say
I can not play music, I just write

I'm glad that you like what I share
I can't sing a song, but who cares
I'll feel like a ****
But, next stop....youtube
I hope you drop by...once I'm there!!!

I used to be a golfer once
But, now I am a hack
I swing around a waist of jello
I only play the middle tees
I used to play the back
I only use ***** that are yellow

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to have a short game once
I used be real good
(Where do you think you might have lost it?)
I used to have no fear at all
I knew all that I should
(Is it with your sand wedge, where you tossed it?)

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to split the fairways boys
I used to sink the putts
(What ever happened to the feeling?)
I can't hit a **** fairway now
I only hit wide cuts
(It's enough to send my mindset reeling)

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

Now, I am afraid most days
I can't hit it off the ground
I only hit well when I drink some
I know each tree out on our course
I know the ball hits tree bark sound
I only play good when I've got ***

My game is up on the shelf
I don't know why
And I only play golf by myself
It's no lie
I wish I still could play, I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play, someone else

I used to be a golfer once
I wish I still could play
I wish so hard for that sweet feeling
I once was good
But not today
If I could find Diablo, I'd be dealing

But, my game is up on the shelf
And it's funny
How, I play only by myself
No money
I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play
I wish that I could play like myself

For all things there's a reason
I understand this, but tell me what
Is the method for deciding who
Gets afflicted and who does not?

Good people made to suffer
Bad people left to live
They say that there's a reason
So..a reason...will you give

There are places named for heroes
Some for leaders, some for Kings
I would like to tell of one lad
who's namesake was these things

The child that I speak of
Is a prisoner of his own
He is afflicted with an illness
That is known as Brittle Bone

Simple movements, they can injure
A simple sneeze may break his neck
So, please tell me the reason
who up there, said "What the heck?"

A child with no grievance
What exactly can be learned
By afflicting this poor child
Did God miss, was his back turned

This child is a leader
He is special, here's the thing
He is named after a great one
Alexander is a King

For all things there is a reason
This is one I do not get
This child needs a lifetime
And with his family...that he'll get.

My teeth are smiling back at me
From a glass beside the bed
I wonder "Do they look that bad"
"When they're positioned in my head?"

They looked all kind of cloudy
***** brown, and green
I think I need to change the way
I make my teeth get clean

Right now I use polident
To make my choppers shine
But, if this is the way that they turn out
I'm embarrassed that they're mine

I took them out and washed them off
I stuck them in a glass of bleach
I thought, "This will make them whitey white"
The colours will all leech

Out of my clean choppers
And will brighten up my smile
Then you'll see me from afar
Well, at least a half a mile

I left them for two hours
and they came out brown and green
I thought, they look no better now
They look totally obscene

I even took to painting them
A glorious shade of white
I left them on my workbench
To dry and harden overnight

They still look brown and greeny
Like they were buried in the yard
I swear, I've never had a thing
That's made me work so hard

I cannot put them in my mouth
with out cleaning off the crud
It's looks like I am smiling
With a mouth that's full of mud

I took a pad of wire wool
And scrubbed them like you do
They didn't get much brighter
But, now at least...they're blue

I went down to the chemists
To get something for my teeth
I needed something powerful
To relieve me of my grief

The chemist said "please shut your mouth"
"You're scaring all who passes"
"Your teeth are oh so snowy white"
"The dirt is on your glasses!!"

It didn't happen instantly
I know you'll understand
It took a little while
Before my heart was in your hands

At first we both went cautiously
Neither wanted to get hurt
We sat and talked and drank some beer
Our true feelings we would skirt

We danced around the issues
As long as things went as we planned
But, it wasn't too long after this
That my heart was in your hands

We'd both built up protective walls
And over time, we smashed the stones
It was time to come on from behind
And be a couple, not alone

Your parents gave their blessing
Saying that they were really glad
That you found yourself again and
that you were no longer sad

I proposed, and you said yes
The bricks were crushed to sand
When you took my ring, you truly had
My heart inside your hands

For all these years that we have been
Together, I have learned
To compromise, and listen hard
And that the cheek is sometimes turned

Things have changed, with ups and downs
And we've moved around this land
We've only gotten better
Holding our hearts in both our hands.

Letter to My Lawyers.

Being of sound mind and body...

To whom should I leave my teeth
Which person do I love
Enough, to leave my smile to
When I'm dead and up above

My grandson will get my glass eye
When my life is at an end
I'd imagine I could see him
playing marbles with his friends

My artificial knee cap
I'll leave to my younger sister May
She can have it in her living room
As a brand new candy tray

I think I'll leave my hearing aids
To the woman up the road
They don't work too well anyways
And in truth, the cow's a toad!!

The breast implants that I have got
Are old, and slightly mottled
But, I'll leave them to the nursing home
As two hot water bottles

All my unused catheters, to the pet store
that's my wish
They can use them in aquariums
Pumping air for all their fish

This is my will and testament
It's my National Health Care list
These bits of me are all I own
There might be some things that I missed

My artificial hip joint
I'll give to the fellow down the lane
He can clean it up a little bit
And there's a topper for his cane

Anything else that I forgot
That is still good, I want to go
To someone who might need it
Make it someone that I know

One last thing I ask now
my support hose, goes to Jack
He always wanted a nice hammock
To swing in out the back!!!

Standing in the darkened garage
I listen to the whistling winter air
And think of times so long ago
And of one who is not there

My Grand dad was a whistler
No matter what he did
Whether reading, sitting, standing still
Whistling is what he did

He told me once the secret was
To purse your lips and blow
It took me years to figure out
But the secret I now know

No one whistles anymore
I love to hear a whistle or a trill
whether someone is just walking by
Or it's a bird out on the hill
I think of Grandad everytime
I hear a whistle sound
I only wish deep in my heart
That he was still around

Chopin, List, John Lennon
It didn't matter one **** bit
He would whistle what was in his head
And I would listen and I'd sit

Grandad could make music
No matter where he was
His whistle made him special
At least, special to us

No one whistles anymore
I love to hear a whistle or a trill
whether someone is just walking by
Or it's a bird out on the hill
I think of Grandad everytime
I hear a whistle sound
I only wish deep in my heart
That he was still around

The wind sounds high and vicious
As I listen through the door
It's a sound Grandad made daily
It's a sound I hear no more

A simple act of moving air
Across one's lips is all
But Grandad could translate it
Into a wild birds call

No one whistles anymore
I love to hear a whistle or a trill
whether someone is just walking by
Or it's a bird out on the hill
I think of Grandad everytime
I hear a whistle sound
I only wish deep in my heart
That he was still around.

I think it's time to do an update
Of The Seven Deadly Sins
Most people do not know them all
Sit down and let's begin
I'm not really religious
But, I think they're a bit stale
So, I think I'll spruce them up a bit
In this my sinly tale
Gluttony, a sin of course
I think it should be changed
With an asterick, obesity
There, that's one sin rearranged
With dinner plates much larger now
And fast food all around
I don't think God prepared the world
For the obese people we've found
Hyper-obese children
Fed from chemically laden food
I think that gluttony can be renamed
To Obesity....don't you?
Greed...there's not much to say
Unless you're not in the one per cent
You know, the ones who have the cash
While we're still making rent
Unless things are all equal
This will never go away
Someone always wants all that you've got
There's not much more for me to say
Envy....not a really bad one
To me, it should not be on the list
Although some might seem envious
Of that bracelet on your wrist
I mean, really, how is envy
Something that should condemn your soul to hell
I mean I like my friends TV
But, I know he likes mine as well
Condemning both our mortal souls
For being envious of our tellies
That just does not hold water
Exactly like my wellies
Lust...I know, a good one
It gets confused a lot with love
To me the only difference is
With lust, you wear a glove
Lust and envy...make them one
A piggyback sin, if you will
It's like combining two commandments
Thinking evil thoughts before you ****
I lust for things I can not have
And for some, that would do me in
But, I can't see how lusting for a big tv
Can be a mortal sin
I think that  additions should be made
now, while I'm here writing
I think that reality tv is one
To be a sin it is inviting
Hoarding, that should make the list
I mean, most of them are lazy
I think how one defines celebrity
Has gotten rather hazy
Now, sloth...can be removed I think,
Or at the least, re-defined
Today, they're abusers of the system
It's the avoidance of work they say
So, here's what's in my mind
One who's known as sloth like
Avoids spiritual work as well
I say, cut them off of welfare
It's not worth sending them to hell
They'd be getting a free trip there
Again, avoiding doing stuff
Just cut their payments off and then
They'll work and quit their guff
Anger, keep it on the list
Because, it's a good one, I admit
Of all the ones upon the list
I think Anger's a good fit
Finally, we get to Pride
And I'm confused
I think the sin is blurry
And the word is overused
Pride of Man, it is a sin
but, aren't you proud of your young child?
when they go and score a winning goal
This as a sin, I think is wild
I am proud of my home country
And I hope that you are too
But, pride itself, it's not a sin
Aren't you proud of what you do?
Gay people have their pride parade
They are proud of who they are
But, pride itself....come on now...let's
Draw the line, not go so far
Combine the list of deadly sins
With commandments, make an app
Change punishments around a bit
Instead of limbo, give a slap
I think that things are sinful
And I know you won't agree
But, this is how I look at things
It's just me being me

Out walking in the sub-zero cold
Nose hairs sticking together
**** frost visible on fences
Cheeks, feeling like untreated leather
Snow, crunching, underfoot
Eyes, watering as the wind whips
Ripping my tears from my eyes
And stealing feeling from my fingertips

Twenty minutes and I am numb
My thighs are tight and burning
Wind is howling like a banshee
Hitting full force, so I am learning
My ears are on fire beneath my toque
No snow though, too cold to form
Can't wait to get back home
And let the burning finish before I warm

Through it all, without a care
My dog is leading me around
I'm fully covered, and still I hurt
He's leaving gifts upon the ground
His pads must be frozen
His muzzle is a frozen mask
Finding the perfect spot for one last ***
Seems to be his only task

....all I can say is "I'm freezing, and this ****** owes me!!!"

Did they live the life projected
In their high school yearbook?
Did they take the wife selected
Why not take a look?

Geeks and Dweebs and Superstars
Smile back from ancient pages
Going back to high school now
To read the writings from the sages
Voted "The Most something"
Gave one a certain goal to reach
But, the weekend after graduation
These titles were lost on some lone beach

Did Mr. "Most Likely to Succeed"
Ever make his millions
Or is he working at the daily grind
Like so many other billions?

Most Likely to Become a Mom
That's a title that's too cheesy
What exactly did it mean?
Is this girl just one who's easy?

Most Likely to become Prime Minister
Not a chance in hell 'round here
Debating was not a skill
That we were taught I fear

Did the person picked "Most Likely to....
Have a leg up on the rest
Were they picked for popularity
Or were they really just the best

Our "Most Likely to win a Nobel Prize"
because his Chemistry marks were great
Is now working as a bartender
At a bar that's open late

"Most Likely to be a famous rock star"
Now, there's a title to hang on to
Ours, works in geology
So, they didn't miss by far

Look back and laugh at what you see
This book is just a snap
Of people from your life you knew
Some who fell into the trap

A title of "Most Likely To..."
Shouldn't determine who you'll be
For if it does, then you must
be someone who didn't learn to see

We had a girl get shot to death
She never got a yearbook name
But, she was killed robbing a bank years back
And now that's her claim to fame

Doctors, Lawyers, warehousemen
They were all there in our school
Some were picked "Most Likely to.."
Most were not, and that's cool

If you know a "Most Likely To..."
And they became what they were told
Close the book, and leave it shut
You're the one who struck gold

You made a choice to move along
And make a life, to make you ..YOU
And you didn't need a high school tag
To say..."Most Likely To....."

Can  you see
Just what I see?
The things that make you you

Can you see
Just what I see?
Exactly as I do

Hidden right before you
Is a woman full of poise
But, you cannot find her in there
Hidden behind all the white noise

Name brands and faux labels
Do not show off who you are
No one cares who's name you wear
Or who designed your car

Do you see
Who I see?
Strong and full of class

Do you see
What   I  see?
Something special no one has

Strong, yet hiding in the shadows
Keeping distance from the world
A chrysalis hiding beauty
Waiting just to be unfurled

You are special and I know it
I want you to know it too
Do you see, what I see?
I can only hope you do

Do you know
What I know?
That you're perfect, yes you are

Do you know
What I know?
I am proud of who you are

Once upon a time
In a land far away
Long, long, ago
On a dark and stormy night....

Someone told a story...

And the rest is history.....

A man known as "The Master"
came to speak to our small town
He was revered as a wise man
And he always dressed in brown
He answered every question
Though his answers did confuse
He was more of a rainmaker
A charlatan, a ruse
For twenty bucks he'd let you in
To hear him speak about the world
His hair, was just a birds nest
And his beard was braided, twirled
I went to see this magii
Find out answers about life
I asked him if he knew the truth
He said, "I see you've met my wife"
I asked him what his answer meant
He said "she always asks me the same thing"
"like, when I've lost the rent"
"Master, all I want to know
Can true happiness come to man"
"If you've money, ***** and three drunk broads"
"Then son, I'd say you can"
"Master, that's not what I mean"
"Then, just why did you ask?"
"I didn't mean that happiness"
He took a sip from his small flask
I sat and looked about me
At the crowd around his feet
I was more confused than ever
And was getting dizzy from the heat
Another man stepped forward asking
"Master, tell us about love"
"didn't you read about the broads
"About thirteen lines above"
"Love..it is confusing"
"It's always different every day"
"If you want love that never changes"
"Then my boy, you'll have to pay"
"I'm not sure that's what I need"
"To hear, Is it the truth?"
"I see you've met my wife as well"
"A big girl, red head...Ruth"
"No master, I just need to know"
"Before I choose a bride"
"Well, make sure you can see the tv"
"When she's lying on her side"
"Always mark the ***** bottle"
"Just in case...you know..me thinks"
"That way, you can always prove to her"
"That you haven't had three drinks"
"Master, this is way off base"
"I think you are a fraud"
"Young man, I know of what I speak"
"I see that you don't have a broad"
He too, sat down, head spinning
The master was confusing as all hell
But, we all sat here in his presence
Under this strange man's spirit spell
"Master, I have one more thing"
"I must know before I leave"
He said" it's two doors down and to the right"
As he wiped his nose upon his sleeve
"No, not that, I don't need that"
"I just need to know what's real"
"Do I believe in all around me?
"Do I believe in what I feel?"
"Christ", he said,"you are a pain"
"I can't answer things like that"
"I just know, who won last nights game"
"Do these pants make me look fat?
"You speak to me of truth and love"
"I know of  broads and trucks"
"The only truth I know is that"
"You've wasted twenty bucks"
"Master, you're a ripoff, sir"
"I guess this is a lesson in my life"
"You really do not know the truth"
"Are you sure you've not met my wife?"......

Six seconds
What takes that long?
You can't write yourself a letter
You can't write yourself a song
Evelyn Mc Hale...six seconds
Eighty Six Floors
Jumped from the observation deck
And now she is no more
Six Seconds
Twenty three years old
Now she's dead and buried
And it's time her tale was told
On May Day '47
She thought she'd make a rotten wife
Did she know that when she took hers
She'd make the next cover of LIFE?
It only took six seconds
To land upon the car
86 stories downward
It doesn't sound that far
Most Beautiful they called it
Like they were describing a red rose
But they were talking of a suicide
Where she lost her shoes and ripped her hose
The photo that was taken
One seen all around the world
Makes it look like she was sleeping
And still clutching at  her pearls
Six seconds to the cover
Six seconds...to the ground
when you choose to make a leap like this
Do you care who is around?
She looks calm, cool and collected
Everything was in it's place
One arm was out beside her
There was contentment on her face
The real reason she did it
Is gone forever, yes I reckon
Evelyn McHale made LIFE
And it only took six seconds.