We've been together
Seems forever
But the passion
Is not there
The magic
Once between us
We both
No longer share

There is no
real emotion
in our voice
It's now a lie
At what point
Did the magic
Disappear
And die?

There's got to be a moment
We'll both find it if we try
We both know there is a moment
When it's time to say goodbye

Long ago
I loved you
And I know
you did too
But, now
your hearts not mine
It belongs
to someone new

Like ships that
are just passing
each other
in the night
Our daily
conversations
always end
up with a fight

There's got to be a moment
We'll both find it if we try
We both know there is a moment
When it's time to say goodbye

I first saw her on a Friday
Dinking beer and doing shots
And as I gave her the once over
I thought...******* she's hot
She showed me something that night
Something I know I ain't got
Something inside you
That can not be taught

I sent a drink to her
To just say hello
She left it alone
And she started to go
As she passed on by me
She said "I want you to know"
"that something worth having's"
"not just found at hello"

I was the hunter
At least that's what I thought
I found I was mistaken
I was the one that was caught
I chased this young woman
At least in my head
Chased her till she caught me
That was just what she said

I chased her till she caught me
I was the one that was caught
She'd turned my game on me
And that man...was hot
I thought that I had her
with a beer and a shot
I was the one being hunted
And I was the one that was caught

Don't think you are special
And that you know the game
Just what we are playing
They're playing the same
By the time you make contact
And set your sights on her
You're already in trouble
And you've taken her lure


I chased her till she caught me
I was the one that was caught
She'd turned my game on me
And that man...was hot
I thought that I had her
with a beer and a shot
I was the one being hunted
And I was the one that was caught

(spoken)
ready, set...here we go
time to start another show
Where we'll go...I do not know
God, I love to feel this buzz

The lights are on and I'm
Down to my last dime
I know that is time
To change direction

But, standing here on stage
Get's my blood hot and enraged
I'm not set to turn the page
And move along

I stand up here and sing my songs for you
I know that this is what I's born to do
I'll sing until this whole **** night is through
And then I'll have a drink and start again

My life is making music
I love playing for the crowds
I love to see them dancing
I love to have it loud
My world extends beyond me
From the left side to the right
As long as I've got music
I can stay and sing all night

I woke up in a stranger's bed
I'm not quite sure whose
I just know it was a woman
By looking at her shoes

When I woke up she was long gone
Her note said "Thank you for the night"
But, hell, I don't remember getting here
Something ain't quite right

How did I get so messed up
What the hell did I consume?
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at 2
I gotta know what did I drink
What the hell did I consume
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at two

I went out to the kitchen
grabbed a coffee and some toast
I couldn't quite remember her
Though I do remember most

I left after a shower
Saw no pictures round the place
As hard as I tried thinking
I could not recall her face

How did I get so messed up
What the hell did I consume?
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at 2
I gotta know what did I drink
What the hell did I consume
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at two



I felt just like a hound dog
When I left through her front door
I just didn't like the feeling
I don't want to feel like that no more

Tonight I'll pick another bar
So I don't see you know who
Just what the hell was this boy drinking
And what exactly did I do?


How did I get so messed up
What the hell did I consume?
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at 2
I gotta know what did I drink
What the hell did I consume
What made this girl...a 2 at ten
Into a ten at two

Baby, I don't know why I love you
I'm just caught up in your spell
I don't understand the magic
Maybe that is just as well

As long as we are both together
My heart will be always true
I don't understand exactly
How I ended up with you

If I could have just three wishes
I would wish to be with you
As long as that one wish was granted
I'd never need the other two

All I have is yours forever
You're the one who makes me whole
I don't understand the magic
That made me offer up my soul

Baby, you and I have something
No one else will ever get
I don't understand the magic
That caught this fish in your net

If I could have just three wishes
I would wish to be with you
As long as that one wish was granted
I'd never need the other two

If I could have just three wishes
I would wish to be with you
As long as that one wish was granted
I'd never need the other two

Friends and Lovers
Assorted others
It's up to me
Who I let in

It's my life
to win or lose
It's up to me
To make the rules

I party like there's no tomorrow
And tomorrow's never here
It's my life and no one elses
It's up to me who I let near

I set a course to where I'm goin'
Most times I do not know where
I don't know where I'll end up blowin'
Won't know till I'm standing there

It's my life
I choose who enters
Who gets close
Is up to me
Follow close
The road is bumpy
Just make sure
You hang with me

No one really knows me
What really makes it tick
Why I always keep on moving
Why I live my life so quick

what lies beneath the surface
No one really knows
And I do my best to let on
That nothing really shows

Scratch beneath my surface
And enter in my mind
Don't go deep my darlin'
You may not like what you might find
I'm a puzzle wrapped in onion skin
Don't dig too deep with me
Go too far beneath the surface
And you won't like what you will see

I smile lots, and walk away
Never showing how I feel
You only see the face I want
You don't know if it's real

I'm a shaman with a changing soul
Selling snake oil on the side
Don't dig too deep into my mind
You won't like what is inside

Scratch beneath my surface
And enter in my mind
Don't go deep my darlin'
You may not like what you might find
I'm a puzzle wrapped in onion skin
Don't dig too deep with me
Go too far beneath the surface
And you won't like what you will see

I thank the Lord
for second chances
You get to do it all again
Forget mistakes
and when you made them
Today's today, and that was then

If it weren't for second chances
I would never have found you
I thank the Lord for second chances
I thank him when each day is through

No matter what you call redemption
Second chance is what I say
If it weren't for second chances
I wouldn't be with you today

A second chance I have been given
It's something I won't choose to waste
A second chance gets me to heaven
It's a chance that just can't be replaced

If it weren't for second chances
I would never have found you
I thank the lord for second chances
I thank him daily through and through

Born with nothing
Still the same
No baggage with me
Just my name
Don't like planning
For what's ahead
I'll still have nothing
Once I'm dead

Keep moving forward
Don't look back
Leave what's behind you
On that track
Keep moving forward
That's a fact
Leave what's behind you
And Don't look back

I live to party
That's my life
Don't tie me down
With a wife
I'm day to day
and that's a fact
I keep moving on
And I don't look back

I hate posessions
I's born poor
Leave your baggage at the door
I weren't born with nothing
And I want no more
So, if you've got baggage
Leave it at the door

I live to party
That's my life
Don't tie me down
With a wife
I'm day to day
and that's a fact
I keep moving on
And I don't look back

Tonights the night to party
Not just because I say
Tonights the night to party
Because it ' s the ending of the day
Throw up your hands
and yell yee haw
Grab a drink and hit the floor
Dancing without caring
That's what this party's for

The band is slightly out of tune
But, hey who gives a ****
They sound better later on
When you are really lit
By two a.m you'd think that they
Were Alabama and  George Jones
While you're trying to record them on
Your prissy little phones

This place don't karaoke
You're singing with the band
You're singing country music
It's the best in all the land
No running shoes, just cowboy boots
Will get you in the door
If you come in with a cowboy hat
Make sure it faces to the front
All the dude's they wear them backwards
And they look like a dumb c*

Tonights the night to party
Not just because I say
Tonights the night to party
Because it ' s the ending of the day
Throw up your hands
and yell yee haw
Grab a drink and hit the floor
Dancing without caring
That's what this party's for


You can listen for the steel guitar
It's there in every song
Hey man, this here's a country bar
And steel guitar , it just belongs
There's always background fiddle
Drums like Levon from The Band
Piano played like Jerry Lee
The floor's all blood and sand

You've come on out to party
Now show them how a redneck does
Knock back a few and get up here
And when you dance, you cuss
The music here will rock you
It's American through and through
It's a good old country party
It's all red white and blue

I like to drink in taverns
Where you get beers and a shot
Where the glasses all are *****
And the women all are hot
Where there's blood stains on the dance floor
From a brawl the night before
And you know there'll be some more there
Before they close the doors at four

Line Dancin' Badonkadonks
or Boot Scootin' Prima Donnas
Are never on our floor
There's none of them among us
The good ol' Texas two step
Is all you'll  find round here
With both dancers smokin' smokes
and both holding a beer

We're not a bar for yuppies
We're a bar your dad would go
We're a bar with old time music
We're a bar you all should know
We're a bar with old time values
We're a bar with out a name
We're your bar son, your bar
We're your bar son, your bar


Umbrella drinks and blue lagoons
They can keep them in the city
For any guy who drinks that stuff
Well...to me...he's too **** pretty
A shot of Beam, a glass of draft
Waylon on the old juke box
Another shot, a few more beer
And this place really rocks

We don't serve drinks you can't pronounce
Or that take too long to pour
We like our music really loud
Hell...that's what country's for
You don't come here to sit and talk
You come to have a party
So, barkeep...one more time around
And lets start drinking hearty

We're not a bar for yuppies
We're a bar your dad would go
We're a bar with old time music
We're a bar you all should know
We're a bar with old time values
We're a bar with out a name
We're your bar son, your bar
We're your bar son, your bar

I don't know
Who saw who first
It don't matter
much to me

I don't know
What song was playing
When I first laid eyes on you
But, I just knew I had to know you
Before the night was through

I remember very closely
What you wore
When we first met
The blouse, the jeans
The perfume
That's one thing I won't forget




Little things escape me
Details...not for me
I look at the big picture
And that's just what I see


Your favorite drink....don't ask me
Your favorite movie...not a chance
The details all escape me
They just leave me in a trance


I remember very closely
What you wore
When we first met
The blouse, the jeans
The perfume
That's one thing I won't forget

I know nothing of the small stuff
The details are out of mind
To me, they're not important
That's why I leave them all behind

Friday night
Beneath the lights
The boys are set to go
The scouts are out there watching
It's time they got a show

Football in a small town
It's religion out of church
To find something open Friday night
You'd really have to search
The busses all are lined up
Down the street around the school
Alumni selling t-shirts
With old logos by the pool


There's a game that rivals football
That you can't see from the stands
It's make out time beneath the bleachers
While the fans are clapping hands
No flags for interference
Off sides, no way not here
The players don't wear protection
And in between they're drinking beer

The quarterback he steals the show
Making passes on a line
The college scouts are hovering
That must be a good sign
The smell of deep fried everything
It lingers in the air
There's flasks of Jim Beam passed about
without a single care

The band performs a drumline
Keeping beat for those below
The ones not playing football
The kids hidden from the show
Each Friday night it happens
Two rivals meet in church
And somewhere beneath the bleachers
Some poor kids left in the lurch

There's a game that rivals football
That you can't see from the stands
It's make out time beneath the bleachers
While the fans are clapping hands
No flags for interference
Off sides, no way not here
The players don't wear protection
And in between they're drinking beer

"Redneck Family Reunion"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v;=jfHwg22ZqhU

(Verse 1)

A family like ours don't party like most
Ours gets a little out of hand
They're racing trucks and burning rubber
And tearing up all the land
There's jars of moonshine and daisy dukes
Everywhere you look
Ol' Bocephus on the radio
And catfish on every hook

(Chorus)

It's a redneck family reunion
Everybody has a good time
Eatin' all of grandma's cookin'
And drinkin' all of grandpa's shine
You're never gonna go home hungry
If you make it home at all
Yeah, it's a redneck family reunion
And everybody has a ball

(Verse 2)

There's horseshoe pits for tossin' shoes
And games of every sort
Most of them ain't legal
And will land your *** in court
4 wheel trails that will lead you to
Way back in that hollow
Don't you dive head first into that pool
You know it's way to shallow

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)

It's the best time of the year for us
And it's sad that it must end
But you know it's time to head on home
When the cops come round the bend

(Repeat Chorus)

I don't see things that others see
When they look in the sky
I don't see sheep or ***** cats
As the clouds go rolling by

My mind just doesn't work that way
I see just what I see
They see sheep and ***** cats
They don't look that way to me

I wonder when they look at sheep
Do they see a flock of clouds?
or when they hear a ***** cat
is the meow not quite as loud?

They see faces in the bark of trees
And see people in their toast
My mind doesn't work that way
And I think I'm like the most

I don't see things that are not there
I see just what I see
My mind just doesn't work that way
My mind is not that free

They see spirits in old photographs
They see things that are not there
I look and try to figure out
What they see that isn't there

I see stars that are no longer there
But, that's a trick of time and space
These people look at lumps of rock
And they see Jesus' face

My mind is not wired the same
As these who see what I do not
I just hope I never catch what
It is that they have got!!

I'm always playing music
Alone on my guitar
I don't think I'll be famous
I'll never get that far
I play because I love it
I go from bar to bar
I sure don't do it for the money
I'm living in my car

I'm not sure if I'll make it
The right person must hear
The music that I'm making
Must ring true within their ear
In the clubs that I am playing
They serve shots and luke warm  beer
So the ear for which I'm looking
Is not to close to here

If I wanna be famous
And give my life a lift
There's just one way to do it
And that's by datingTaylor Swift
We'll hook up and we'll break up
I won't be with her long
Then she'll put out a new album
And she'll put me in a song
The only way to make it
And to give my life a lift
Is to go out and start dating
That singer....Taylor Swift

I sit home and I practice
In the front seat not the back
Remember, I'm living in my vehicle
Beside the railroad track
I don't have much there with me
My clothes fit in a sack
Maybe one day I will make it
And I'll give fame a crack

I may not be a Kennedy
Or , a big time movie player
But, I sure as hell look better than
That pretty boy John Mayer
I can't write my own music
I just cover other songs
The streets of fame are littered
By folks like me who don't belong
But one day, I'll just make it
And I'll prove them agents wrong
One day I will be famous
I'll be the topic of a song

If I wanna be famous
And give my life a lift
There's just one way to do it
And that's by dating Taylor Swift
We'll hook up and we'll break up
I won't be with her long
Then she'll put out a new album
And she'll put me in a song
The only way to make it
And to give my life a lift
Is to go out and start dating
That singer....Taylor Swift

Heaven or Hell
Which way to go?
It's all up to you
Above or below

Do unto others
as they would to you
or Do unto others
Before they do you

Are you respectful?
Or are you a ****?
Your first impression
Is one that will stick

No one is perfect
We all try and try
But which way are you going
When it's your turn to die

Angels or Demons
Who shall open your door
Your reputation is tallied
Do you know your score?

An occasional prayer
Might wipe out one sin
But not if you're praying
That your team will win

Choices...so many
Go wrong or go right
Can determine if you
Will enter the light

I am not religious
But I know I'd choose
Which ever location
Has comfortable shoes!!!!

country music
summer nights
getting close
by fire light
sneaking glances
drinking beer
making sure
the coast is clear

pretty girls
excited boys
experiencing
summer joys
paisley on
the radio
guessing just
how far to go

sweaty bodies
kept in check
in chairs out
on the cottage deck
slip down through
the boat house door
to swim out to
the float off shore

summer boys
and summer girls
swim out past
the water swirls
washing off
the summer dust
and giving in
to summer lust

cottage campers
paddle by
as silently
our campers lie
sneaking glances
drinking beer
making sure
the coast is clear

country music
summer nights
knowing when
the time is right
now is time
to turn the page
as two young campers
come of age.

The Master Corporal said to me
"I'm gonna do a show"
"Don't worry what I say to you"
"I just thought you should know"

Injured, badly two weeks gone
I was set to be held back
My knee was torn apart and
that, was not something I could hack

The day I was demoted
My Master Corporal came to me
He said "Turner, I hate to do this"
"But, it's for the best...you'll see"

I waited for inspection
With the others all on line
They were standing at attention
Me on crutches the whole time

"Turner, is there anything"
"That I should hate to find"
"Is there stuff inside your locker"
"of a non-military kind"

I stood there at attention
Waiting for the end to come
As he looked all through my kitting
Found dust upon my gun

He opened up the locker
And a moth came flying out
It flew past the Master Corporal
And then it danced upon his snout

The yell...was heard in England
"A pet...you've got a pet"
"Who said that you could have one?"
"It's not allowed...A PET"

The moth found the first window
flew back towards him once again
Left some moth dust on his beret
And he flew away right then

The Master Corporal's outrage
At being "mothed" by my new pet
Was one I don't think many
In our platoon would soon forget

He started throwing clothing
Chucking boots around the room
I knew it was all acting
But, those boots can really zoom

When finished he stood waiting
For a response, I stood and stared
I could not break out a smile
I had to show I didn't care

He moved on through the others
Looking for more moths on the way
But, that first one and it's face dance
Well, it surely made my day

He drove me to my barracks
Up to my new platoon
"I hope you liked my show today"
" I know I'll see you soon"

"Just do what you are ordered"
"And one thing don't forget"
"When you next have an inspection"
"Don't have an insect for a pet!!"

I remember fondly that last visit
He knew it hurt for me to leave
But, every word in here is truthful
You can choose to not or to believe.

I drove all night
To get to you
Because I heard you cry

I only stopped
but once or twice
to get to where you lie

I heard my name inside my head
Your voice kept crying out
I hit the road directly
Then, I quickly started out

I drove all night
To be with you
Because I heard my name

I drove for
fourteen hours
And I know that you'd do the same

The highway was deserted
Except for skid marks and the lines
I kept focusing on darkness
I kept watching all the signs

I drove all night
To be home here
Because you called for me

I drove on through
sixteen states at least
For your sweet face to see

I drove, because I love you
And I know you want me here
But, next time you call my name again
Make sure that I am near!!!!

I do not see a future world
Unless it is with you
I'm happy in the present though
Because it is with you
The love you show behind your eyes
Makes me love you more
Because you make me better
And that's what love is for

For better or worse
The two of us were told
No matter what he said from there
I had my *** of gold
Every year we celebrate
But, it is not just one day
Our marriage is worth celebrating
In so many different ways

Music brings back memories
Of places we have been
Of people we have been with
Of places we have seen
Each song a different vision
Of something from our past
And because of our musicianship
The visions will all last

The future music that we make
And the songs we have not sung
Are equal to the loudest choirs
And all the church bells that are rung
The love we have between us
Is a fire that won't die
For we always work together
To keep us we instead of I

When I woke for work this morning
I wish I'd stayed in bed
But, I perservered and showered
I could sleep more when I'm dead

Another ache, another pain
My eyes were sore and red
But, I had to keep on moving
I could sleep more when I'm dead

Age is creeping up on me
In fact, I know it's here
It lets me know it's present
It gets louder every year
I can not do the things I did
I can't see what once was
I know it's not technology
I know age...yes, age is the main cause

I have to sit to tie my shoes
Even that takes all my breath
I cough most times I do them up
It scares my wife to death

I used to go out for a run
Each day when I got home
But, now I like the company
I can't go outside alone

Age is creeping up on me
In fact, I know it's here
It lets me know it's present
It gets louder every year
I can not do the things I did
I can't see what once was
I know it's not technology
I know age...yes, age is the main cause

My hair, is grey with brown highlights
At least, where it still lies
It's growing like a **** field
Above both of my eyes

I have more types of medicine
Than most people half my age
My glasses are now trifocal
So I can see what's on the page

Age is creeping up on me
In fact, I know it's here
It lets me know it's present
It gets louder every year
I can not do the things I did
I can't see what once was
I know it's not technology
I know age...yes, age is the main cause

I hear as well as I once did
As long as all is quiet
I didn't think you'd believe that one
But, I thought,....oh hell, let's try it

Spicy foods, don't start me off
My stomach they just turn
I have a little purple pill
To help with the heart burn

Age is creeping up on me
In fact, I know it's here
It lets me know it's present
It gets louder every year
I can not do the things I did
I can't see what once was
I know it's not technology
I know age...yes, age is the main cause


***, now there's a topic
I would rather watch tv
My wife still wants to have it
All that's missing's ...me

I talk just like my grandpa did
About the good old days
How we had to walk uphill to school
And how it was uphill...both ways

Age is creeping up on me
In fact, I know it's here
It lets me know it's present
It gets louder every year
I can not do the things I did
I can't see what once was
I know it's not technology
I know age...yes, age is the main cause

Age....it is a nasty thing
You don't see it, but it comes
All my body is receding
My hair, my brain, my gums

I know I'll never beat it
I'll learn to live with it instead
so, for now...I'll just go along
I'll get my rest when I am dead.

Every couple 'a years or so
Our family reunites
It takes a couple 'a years or so
To recover from the fights

A family like our'n
Doesn't party like most do
Ours gets a little out of hand
That's why we have so few

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

There's daisy dukes and forty Lukes
They're racing trucks and burning rubber
There's jugs of moonshine everywhere
And at least a hundred bubbas

There's a smoker fired for the food
the size of two large trucks
It hold 4 cows, and fourteen pigs
And at least a hundred ducks

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

There's pickled this and pickled that
And things you just can't swallow
That used to live down in the swamp
Way back there in the hollow

There's at least ten shotgun weddings there
And the groom might be rail roaded
But, the wedding isn't legal
If the shotgun isn't loaded

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

There's greased up pigs and muddy runts
And at least ten bobby sues
and when they all get greased up
You can't tell which is who

There's horseshoe pits for tossing shoes
And games of every sort
Most of them aren't legal
And would get you into court

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

But, it's the way we like it
Drinking shine and acting out
Tossing things that aren't tied down
And wrassling about

There's music there of just one kind
It's country and that matters
Any other sort of sound
Sets the crowd off like mad hatters

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

There's always someone who's so drunk
And it's normally the preacher
Last year we married him off
To the back up first grade teacher

There's Chevy trucks of every kind
And one covered in sod
Mary Lou showed her tattoo
"Jeff Foxworthy is my God"

It's the best time of the year for us
And it's sad when it must end
but, you gotta haul your *** away
When the cops come round that bend

It's a redneck family reunion
everybody has a grand old time
eating grandma's cooking
and drinking grandpas shine
You never go home hungry
If you make it home at all
You go home bruised and battered
And you surely had a ball

Dignified, sturdy, solid
In all it's equine glory
The fact Mike tried to ride it
Is quite another story
Mike was set to ride the steed
Down the beach to have his lunch
When the horse grabbed Mike's shirt
And then proceeded to just munch
The horse stood nearly 16 hands
Poor Mike stood five foot two
The horse looked down upon him
Most tall children looked down too
Mike steadied it to get aboard
From the left side as he should
He got up and grabbed the bridle
All was seeming pretty good
Mike leaned down to pat it
Lost his grip and tumbled down
The horse just didn't notice
And he peed upon the ground
Mike got up and mounted
Once again upon the steed
He bucked up once and threw him
Mike thought he must be off his feed
The troop of trail ride horses
Made their way along the beach
Mikes horse went on riderless
It was now far out of reach
Mike went back to the hotel desk
Called a cab to beat them all
He was not to be outdone
Just because he'd taken one small fall
He met them at the barbeque
The horses stood out in the field
Mike would eat his lunch and then
He'd make this **** horse yield
He came with a nice apple
and some sugar as a treat
The horse just looked down at him
And stamped on both his feet
While Mike just stood there steaming
The horse ran like a shot
The others were all mounted
And poor Mike's horse was not
It joined up with the others
Leaving Mike away in back
So, he phoned once more for a taxi
And formed a new attack
He was **** bound and determined
To get upon this horse
If not to go out riding
But for a picture, why of course..
He met them at the hotel field
To get his picture just for pride
It didn't matter to him now
That he never got to ride
He'd show the photo to his friends
Of the horse he rode around
Never telling him of his great fall
And how the horse tossed him to the ground
The fact he never rode it
Mike now considered moot
For the horse stood for the photo
And then pooped in Mike's left boot

The mist hung heavy in the air
Touching lightly on marsh grasses
It was almost like a London fog
And as thick as cold molasses

Beneath the mist in hiding
Decomposing in the night
Were the results of one more battle
Awaiting dawns early light

The Union and The Rebels
Fighting for what they believe
And soon, these victims kin folk
Will learn their fate and will then grieve

Cannon, gun and bayonet
Were the weapons for the ****
You couldn't see the bodies
Through the mist from on the hill

Amongst the dead one soldier
Died from a shot that came behind
His head was gaping open
He was shot by his own kind

The armies both died facing
The direction of attack
Except for this one soldier
Who was taken from the back

A coward's lot is hellfire
And so it will be for Will May
He was shot by his own brother
As he turned and ran away

The mist hung heavy in the air
Touching lightly on marsh grasses
It was almost like a London fog
And as thick as cold molasses

Two instructors of philosophy
sat down and started talking
their conversation was in depth
and so, they ceased their walking
the topic that these men discussed
had each on different sides
and the gap that formed between them
was miles and miles wide

"I swear you haven't got a clue"
"You just don't want to hear"
"The world is round as round can be"
"It's shaped just like a sphere"

"You idiot, you do not know"
"Just look, the world is flat"
"The world has got four edges"
"And that my friend is that!"

"You can not mean that in this world"
"There's an edge that is the end"
"That is right dear sir"
"The land just does not bend"

"You can sit and tell me that"
"and still keep a straight face"
"What keeps people grounded"
"and stops them shooting into space"

"the fact, that land is flat my friend"
"is a plain as plain can be"
"have you ever seen a waterfall?"
"have you tried to bend a tree?"

"Dear sir, sit down and listen close"
"and look up at the sun"
"it has just two dimensions"
"it needs another one"

"The sun is flat as well dear sir,"
"It just hangs up in the sky"
"It has a front, the moon's the back"
"you can see it if you try"

"Have you seen this new invention"
he asked, opening his robe
"It's a 3d model of the earth"
"my friend, it's called a globe"

"the world is flat, it is not round"
"it has depth, and width, that's all"
"you see the corners of the earth"
"it's not shaped like a ball"

"If you hold a pebble, to your head"
"and drop it down"
"does it fly away in space?"
"no, it drops on to the ground"

"a mountain range....inflexible"
"Like your mind, my learned friend"
"If you travel off, at some point sir"
"you will surely hit the end"

"the only end needs hitting here"
"Is the one upon your neck"
"to knock some **** sense into you"
"you're a closed myopic wreck"

"water doesn't bend a bit"
"it would not make your point true"
"it doesn't have to bend dear sir"
"it's a concept that is new"

"next you will tell me"
"there's a force we can not see"
"that keeps us all here grounded"
"and pulls the apples from the tree"

"I'm not sure of that one sir"
"but as sure as there is sound"
"the sun revolves around us"
"and that makes the world round"

"do you ever see it moving"
"back to where it came"
"of course not, it's in motion"
"it's called an orbit, that's it's name"

"I'm not sure if we go round"
"of if we are sitting still"
"but one day we will find it out"
"I'm certain, that we will"

"Arguing this point with you"
"about a round world or one flat"
"will continue on in circles"
"That's where my world is at"

"we will not be in agreement"
"as to which of us is right"
"we will never see the moon sun change"
"if we both sit here all night"

"we will have to let the prophets"
"in the future prove us wrong"
"and now sir, it is supper"
"and we both should move along"

Art class was a given
A bird course as they say
But, our teacher had gone awol
You could say he flew away
They found him at a campsite
Cross legged on a mat
Naked, drinking cool aid
And talking to his cat
He snapped while teaching concepts
beyond the grasp of teenage kids
Who only wanted to pass time
and be on ebay making bids
He taught them about structure
about lines and Bernard Frize
and now he's in the forest
sitting naked with the trees
Pastels, crayons and chalk sticks
littered where he sat
sitting naked, drinking kool aid
and talking to his cat
the kids, they drove him crazy
never doing what he told
Instead they sat and doodled
while the teacher...well...unrolled
they didn't draw the things he asked
didn't study all the masters
instead they were more intent
on creating art disasters
he came to class equipped one day
to show them some van gogh
instead they all got up
And told him he could blow
he snapped and left the class room
never stopping at the door
he went to his apartment
and picked the cat up off the floor
he went down to the locker
he took his tent back to the car
he was going to go camping
he wasn't going to a bar
he drove up to the campsite
made his kool aid, grabbed his cat
took his clothes off and got naked
and sat down upon his mat
this is where they found him
seven days since he walked out
he's now painting in nice place
where there's lots of staff about
most days he sits in silence
in his jacket, sleeves behind
zonked out on medication
to help him find his mind
they give him lots of kool aid
but his cat he does not see
he just paints with all his fingers
making pictures of a tree
once he was a teacher
of a bird course teaching art
now he gets all his excitement
drinking kool aid from the cart
in his mind there are da vincis
claude monets and rembrandts too
but, on paper he paints tree limbs
in black and grey and blue...

All the edits finished
All the audio in time
Geoff and Garry worked hard
To get the podcast up on line
topics from the serious
To topics quite delirious
full of energy
even one on me
A pair of pop culture pundits
Spewing whatever comes to mind
It's a great bit of entertainment
It might just expand your mind
Take the time to listen now
They may even have a row
You never know
So start the show
The Pendulum Podcast
Is the show of which I speak
They both put it together
They try to put one out
Most every week
It reaches to the geek in us
sometimes you'll need an omnibus
To understand
the things that these two can
It's enjoyable and funny
Take the time
and listen in
Do yourself a favour
It is not a mortal sin
But, who knows where
the show will lead
they do it for the fun not greed
you'll love to hear
The topics these two spear.

check out The Pendulum Podcast on facebook, and youtube. Link to youtube is as follows
http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePendulumOnTV/videos

If a fish
Could make a wish
for what would
this fish wish ?
a wishing fish
you say, tosh tish
but if you were
a wishing fish
would you wish for
a new dish ?
or a knish ?
what would a fish
do with a dish ?
and how would he
eat a knish ?
but if you knew
a wishing fish
exactly what
would this fish wish?

If you saw
a little bunny
on a tree stump
counting money
would you think
that it was funny
if he used it
to buy honey
to eat outside
while it was sunny
Just where would
that little bunny
get a bag full
of such money
To me that just seems
rather funny

If you saw
a blue canoe
being paddled by
a kangaroo
wearing shoes
size sixty two
Tell me just
what would you do
if there beside
that kangaroo
sat a rather large
and old gnu
I think I would
call the zoo
but, tell me
what it is you'd do

A bunny, fish
and kangaroo
were all out walking
two by two
they were followed
by a large gnu
I think this rather strange
don't you?
I don't know just
what I would do
If I saw walking
two by two
A bunny, fish
and kangaroo
in fact i do not
have a clue
but I know the fish's wish
don't you?

Are your goals incentive
To get you through your life
Is the end result a good one
Can you share it with your wife
Is it worth all of the struggling
To put up with the muddling
Of folks you just abhore
Of folks you'd soon ignore

Are your children on the sidelines
While you work away your years
Are they just collateral damage
As you work on through your fears
Do you ever think you'r losing them
That you may just be abusing them
Those children there
Show them you really care

Is it time to take a back seat
As you ride upon lifes train
Time to hand over the driving
Or are you to proud to abstain
Do you want to end up all alone
Go and throw the dog a bone
You're almost there
Nobody really cares

Take a step and join them
They're the ones you should support
Give up all the overtime
Or you'll end up in court
A lonely, hopeless businessman
Who always does the best he can
All alone
There's nobody left at home

Share your time with work and family
As you make your way along
Don't forget to hear the music
Don't forget to sing  the songs
It happens so **** easily
You only need to look at me
I stepped back
After a heart attack

Get priorities in order
don't forget just how to play
Don't put it on a bucket list
Go out and start today
The earlier you leave the race
The longer you'll be in this space
Come on...begin
The water's fine...now please jump in.

I live a life that's far from normal
Normal as you all do see
My world is...well, more nocturnal
Look real hard and you'll find me

Living life like I do's different
It's not a life I recommend
It works for me, but I'm not normal
My life is somewhat at loose ends

I'm off the grid, I'm a non-person
I'm a statistic and nothing more
I'm just a shadow in the shadows
I'm looking for my next big score

You pass me as you walk the city
You think you see me, but you're wrong
You see just what I want to show you
Just look again, and I'll be gone

Under bridges, in old buildings
In the subways far below
I'm living life as I concieve it
Into the light, I rarely go

I'm off the grid, I'm a non-person
I'm a statistic and nothing more
I'm just a shadow in the shadows
I'm looking for my next big score

I see you coming from a distance
I'm gone again, before you're here
I've hiding places you won't discover
I'm on my way when you are near

I live a life beyond the reaches
Of those who want to know my name
I live my life the way I want to
To me it's only just a game

I'm off the grid, I'm a non-person
I'm a statistic and nothing more
I'm just a shadow in the shadows
I'm looking for my next big score

If you're a celebrity
For medications come to me
I have them all, come see, come see
I'm the devil in disguise

I sign prescriptions by the score
If you run out, I'll give you more
I'll bring your pills right to your door
I'm the devil in disguise

Dr. Robert, Feelgood too
Names I'm sure are known to you
If you're in need call you know who
I'm the devil in disguise

Uppers, Downers, oxy's....well
Imagine what is down in hell
I'll keep your secret, I won't tell
I'm the devil in disguise

Elvis called, and MJ too
They both liked pills in shades of blue
No one else does what I do
I'm the devil in disguise

It's up to you, which choice you make
I fulfill, and you....you take
I'm here all night, don't need a break
I'm the devil in disguise

If you're in need, well...I'll be there
You pay for service, and I care
I've got lots, and lots to share
I'm the devil in disguise

If you're mute, and lost your voice
You know I'm your only choice
I'll be right round in my Rolls Royce
I'm the devil in disguise

You'll end up dead, but I'll keep kicking
With pills and needles, stars keep sticking
I'm the doctor all the stars are picking
I'm the devil in disguise

I am the devil, that is true
I am around, that's not new
I'm known to them, but not to you
I'm their doctor...till they die.

Down in the forest,
past the bluebells sits a glade
Hidden from the outside world
Protected, dark in shade
A magic place where fairies live
Behind a silver veil
With a gate made out of spider silk
And guarded by a snail

It's hidden from the normal path
Behind large ferns and leaves
It is only seen by fairie fok
And those who do believe
The snail sits watching up the path
For hikers and their ilk
Prepared to send the warning out
by breaking through the silk

The bluebells let the fairie folk
Know it is time to hide
Behind the silver slippers
Secret signals they abide
A place where water runs as clear
As blue as summer sky
Where magic lights the world for them
Where fairies float and fly

It is a glade not seen by us
If we do not know to look
To us it's just a darkened glade
Fed by a smallish brook
But, there inside the curtain
Is a world of childhood dreams
Where wishes are all granted
And tears help fill the streams

Magic is the hallmark
It keeps the land of fairie well
If you found it, who'd believe you
really, just who could you tell?
Protected by an old brown snail
With his silver trail behind
with a spider web to block the way
It's a place so few will find

Believe and you will see it
Past the trees and in the shade
It will open up to serve you
In that small and magic glade
If you see the folk of fairie
And their wings of gossamer glass
Then you've met up with the old brown snail
And he chose to let you pass.

"Go and talk to your son!". It seemed lately that every arrival at home, in the old section of Glasgow, began with "Go and talk to your son!". "Why?...what has he done this time"...answered Angus' dad. "What trouble did he get into now?". "None...so far as I can figure" answered Mary, mother of the aforementioned Angus.

"Then why am I going to talk to him?". " He's not selling autographs again is he".
"No dear, he's not...you should just go and have a wee chat with him...that's all."

"Alright, I will"...."will I need some hobnobs as ammunition, or should I be okay on me own?".
"You should be okay without them, but, then again, a wee plate of hobnobs never hurt anyone...least of all our Angus"

Dad, poured two glasses of cold milk, set six hobnobs on a plate and ventured up to himself's room. He knocked twice, just above the "No gurls alowd" sign that Angus had put up after last nights arguement with his Mum, over carrots. Angus refused to accept the arguement that carrots gave you better eyesight...while his Mum said they did. A snicker from Dad at Angus' response almost got him banished to the sofa for the night himself, with his own "No gurls alowd" sign going up in the living room. He remembered Angus standing up from his chair, and stating "If carrots give ye such good eyesight, how come so many rabbits get hit by cars at night?". Then he stormed off.

He knocked again, and Angus opened up the door. Angus was still in his blue school shirt and grey pants. "Can I come in?" asked his father. "I've brought milk...and hobnobs".
Angus stepped back and let his father enter the room. The walls were covered with posters, of cars, footballers, horses, bikes, cartoon characters....so much so, there was barely any space left for anything else.

"Yer mum said I should talk to you...son...do you know why?" "Nope"...said Angus..."do you?" "That's why I'm asking you lad....she told me to come see you...do you know why I'm here?"
Angus tilted his head and answered "because Mum told you too?".
It was clear they weren't getting anywhere with this, so Dad asked "How was school today?"

Angus was now in full time kindergarten at St. Martin's in The Fields Primary School in Glasgow. The school was old, dank, smelled of age and was one of the finest in all of Glasgow...for it's age. It was famous for having had two members of The Bay City Rollers as students, one for about three months and the other a little less. They never graduated from St. Martin's, but, it was something to hang their hat on.

"I got all my Christmas Cards taken away today Da." said Angus. "I was giving them out to everyone, and the teacher, Mr. McDonall came and took them away.".
"Why would he do that boy?"...."Where were you doing it?'
"I was outside before school started giving them out...." , Angus sniffed, "and he came over and grabbed them from me".
Dad, remembered Angus working away for the past two nights, printing everyone's name on the cards, as perfect as he could. It only took 43 cards to get the necessary 21 Angus needed for all of his young classmates.
"Why would he do that?"..."did he tell you why?". "No Dad" said Angus through the rapidly increasing flow of sniffles and snot that normally accompany a crying child.

"I didn't find out until I went to the office to see the Principal afterwards".
"You went to the office for handing out Christmas Cards?" . "That doesn't make any sense son, are you sure you weren't doing anything else?"
"I was just handing out cards Da, that's all", said Angus as he grabbed another hobnob, which he quickly stuffed under his pillow for later. He would get in trouble for that one, but, it would be worth it.

"The Principal said something about Christmas Cards that say Christmas on them, can't be given out at school anymore. They can only say Happy Holidays. If it doesn't say Christmas on it, how can it be a Christmas Card Dad?".

"I don't know boy"...."but I am **** sure gonna find out"....and "you'd better eat that hobnob under your pillow before Mum sees it"...smiled Dad.

The pair ventured downstairs for dinner, neither discussing what went on in the room where "No gurls were allowed". Dinner passed in silence, with Mum looking from one to the other to get some sort of reaction. Once, Angus started to talk, but it had nothing to do with what went on between Father and Son, so she continued eating. She would find out later after Angus went to bed.

After dinner, Angus went to the park with his friends for an hour to play football, and tag, and swing on the swings for a while. Mum, took this chance to corner Dad...and corner him she did...."What went on up there? What did you two talk about?" "He won't say anything to me...what did he do?"
"Nothing....he did nothing wrong at all, so as I see it....Angus didn't do anything wrong".
He kind of smiled at that, because normally after being told "Go talk to your son...", Angus had always done something wrong...this time...it was The Principal.

"Tomorrow, I'm staying home in the morning and taking himself to school....I'm going to see The Principal". "What for?...if he didn't do anything wrong, why are you going to see the Principal?".
"Well, what time of the year is it?".....asked Dad. "It's Christmas silly, you know that...why?"
"Well, apparently it isn't Christmas at St. Martin's in The Fields...at least not as far as himself's teacher and new Principal are concerned. It's now Holiday time....not Christmas Time, Holiday Time. Our wee Angus got in trouble for handing out Christmas cards at Christmas. Does that make any sense?"...said Dad.

The next morning at breakfast, Angus looked up and asked "Dad, shouldn't you be going to work? you'll miss your train.". "I'm taking you to school and going to see your Principal, son". "Why?" asked Angus. "Let's just say I'm going to give him a Christmas Card....have you seen my bible?".
"It's on the sideboard...but, why do you need that Da?"...asked the boy.
"Let's just say...to make a point.".

Mum smiled as the two men, both wee and tall, walked together hand in hand down the drive towards the school. Upon arrival, Angus went off with his friends, while Dad, went into the old, intimidating looking institution. He could smell the old wood soap and mustiness as he waled down the hall, past the class pictures and the old trophies that get hauled out and cleaned every year for games day, only to be put back again after the awards presentations.

Upon arriving at the office, he announced "I'm here to see The Principal.....where is he?".
A pair of beady, spectacled eyes looked up from behind the front desk...and in a thin, reedy, voice asked..."And who might you be, sir...to come in without an appointment?".
"Ah'm flippin' Father Christmas, that's who I am....I am Angus' Mc Dougalls dad, and I am here to see the ****** Principal. Now where is he?"
"Without and appointment.." she started, quickly stopping when Dad, walked past the desk to the door marked M. Dingwall, Principal on it.

"You can't go in there"...screeched the reedy voice..."not without an.." "I know..." said Dad..."not without an appointment.....well, I've got mine right here, and right now..." he said, waving his bible in needle noses face. He continued in to M. Dingwall, Principal's office....and sat down.

M. Dingwall, Principal...looked up from the papers on his desk, which incidentally had 5, yes...5 Christmas Cards on it, and asked Dad..."and who are you to come into my office..."...."without and appointment"...finished Dad. " As I told your chihuahua out front, all bark and no bite by the way, I am frigging Father Christmas, who I see on 3 of the 5 cards you have on your desk. That's who I am, Father Christmas !!!"

"Well, Mr. Christmas, what can we do for you? " asked a clearly shaken M. Dingwall, Principal. "I'll tell you what you can do for me....you can apologize to my son, for a start. My wee lad Angus, came here yesterday morning and was sent to see you for handing out Christmas Cards, at Christmas. What am I missing here?".

"I remember that....yes, he was disciplined and told no more Christmas Cards, it's against the policy of the school board...it's a religious holiday, and we are not allowed, with all of the various religious groups represented within our walls to favour one over another. So, no more Christmas Cards in this school. That is the policy.", said M. Dingwall, Principal.

"That's nice...then what are those 5 cards on your desk....the ones that happen to have Christmas on them and Father Christmas and a nativity scene, which if I know the book I am holding here, is a religious representation, and the reason we have Christmas in the first place. "...asked Dad.

"Those are private, they were given to me by staff" said M. Dingwall, Principal. "I don't care if they came from Jesus Christ himself " yelled Dad, crossing himself in the process, "They don't fit in with the policy you gave my son a reprimand for yesterday."  He looked about the office, and saw a small, four foot tall tree in the corner as well. "Is that a Christmas tree or a holiday tree sir?, which is it?"

M. Dingwall looked up and said, "It's a Christmas Tree, of course, haven't you ever seen a..." and he stopped. He looked at the tree, and the cards, The eyeglasses out front went back to whatever it was she was doing before Father Christmas arrived. "I see....". "You see what sir,?" asked Angus' dad, looking at the tree, and the cards and ignoring the eyeglasses with the reedy voice out front.

"I see your point....It's Christmas, not holdaymas, or xmas....it's Christmas, and I followed policy that I myself am not following myself. I will change that right now....imagine, it took a visit from Father Christmas to get me to see the light..." laughed M. Dingwall, Principal.

"My boy Angus, will be in class, expecting to be told that he can give out his cards to the rest of his friends as he was yesterday...am I understood M. Dingwall, Princinpal?" asked Dad.

"Yes sir, the mark will be stricken from the record and his cards will be returned....I appreciate you coming in to clear up this little misunderstanding...even if you didn't ..." "I know...have an appointment.". M Dingwall stood to shake Dad's hand as he left, and as Dad reached the door, he said "Merry Christmas". Dad thought a bit, smiled at what he had just accomplished and said to M. Dingwall, Principal...."and yes...It is A MERRY CHRISTMAS".

Each day a new beginning
A new adventure will unfold
Of Princes, Kings, and dragons
Of silver and of gold

Each day is something wondrous
Strung together, they're a life
Of days and nights and normalcy
And full of love and strife

We build a wall
And tear it down
Things change as days go by
What once was good
No longer so
No matter how we try

There are certain rules to follow
There are choices to be made
But, direction of which road to take
Is seldom ever laid

We live our life as best we can
Doing what we choose to do
We make our minds up for ourselves
At least I do, do you?

There are no set directions
Of which way we should go
We set our sail and follow it
To the unknown we must go

Addictions alter our life's path
They take us from our route
But, overcome them we will try
To give them all the boot

We separate ourselves at times
From those that we love most
Until we become nothing more
Than a spectre or a ghost

Another wall that we have built
A new obstacle in the way
Another brick to tear apart
To get to a new day


It is a big adventure
And it includes no instruction
Just consider each days end result
As a life under construction

The bar was deserted
But for The Captain and me
I was tending the bar
He was watching the sea
The North Wind was 'a howlin'
As the door opened wide
It was The North Wind just checkin'
To see who's inside

The Captain, was quiet looking out at the sea
He said on days like today, that is no place to be
She'll swallow you whole
Take your ship in one gulp
Crush all your riggings
And make the rest into pulp
When she opens her maw
The Sea don't care who
Is there for the taking
It's just what she do

I ventured on over
A fresh glass, with some ice
He said "what took you?"
I said ..."now, be nice"
"With weather like this"
"There's leaks front and back"
"And if I don't mop them up"
"Then I will get the sack"

He smiled as he drank up
One gulp and all done
He used to come here
With his grandson and son
But, that story is longer
And a good one to know
But, today, t'was just him
And he was rarin' to go

"The Sea is a monster, you can be sure of that"
"That's a fact I am saying, as sure as I'm sat"
"She'll swat you down hard, like a little old gnat"
"And to her it'll be nothing more than a pat"
"To Davy Jones Locker, she'll take you today"
"And once you are down there, in the locker you'll stay"
"A witch like the Ocean, she doesn't half play"
"When the water starts talking....you hear what she say!!!"

He swirled round the cubes
Made a noise, looked my way
I was already pouring
His fifth of the day
"Barkeep, be wary"
"The wind is the start"
"It's the voice of the water"
"It'll sure break your heart"
"She'll take what you give her"
"And she'll return you squat"
"Like a big old hard game"
"Of 'x's and noughts"
"She's a powerful mistress"
"And fickle as well"
"But, be on her today"
"And she'll take you to hell"

We sat watching closely
As the storm rattled glass
We both were quite nervous
And we hoped it would pass
The storm  came in early
Two weeks 'fore the season
And we knew out today
That the water'd be freezin'
The Captain dozed off
Facing out to the sea
There was now just the storm
A sleeping Captain....and me.

To go into the future
To the past you must return
To find what you've forgotten
And what you must re-learn
The present is the present
It's a step upon the way
But, to go into the future
You must go back today

Find out what you've been missing
What it is that you must know
To go into the future
The past will surely show
You don't have to go long back
Sometimes the past is near
There see, now time's passing
And the past was present here

Once you make it to the future
Are you sure you're really there?
For what you're living is still present
It's not the future, to be fair
So, going back will teach you
The future's out of reach
You may as well try counting
Sand pebbles on a beach

Learn from where you've come from
And make a better now
The lessons in your past
will surely teach you how
To truly see the future
Is not as easy as it seems
To truly see the future
Is just something in your dreams.

Since 1876 the building had stood
In the middle of town
In a bad neighbourhood
But, empty for decades
And an eyesore to some
She was no longer "The Lady"
And her time had come

The old man sat there staring
As the charges were set
To bring down "The Lady"
he would not forget
His first visit inside her
In nineteen and ten
He'd been inside her much more
he figured since then

Talking to no one,
For no one was there
He talked of her being
He talked to the air
"She started out as a theater"
"Built by Colonel Tom Shaw"
"To showcase an actress"
"Known as Katie McGraw"

"He built her a showcase"
"To play many roles"
"But, Katie...instead"
"had other life goals"
"It stayed as a theater"
"Until Colonel Tom Died"
"Others took over"
"and failed as they tried"
"To bring in top talent"
"To play on the stage"
"But by then, yes then...vaudeville"
"Was now all the rage"

New owners and concepts
Vaudeville died
To keep it afloat as a theatre
Many had tried
A store full of trinkets
Of baubles and rings
A department store future
And the money it brings
The next incarnation
Was in retail not show
And for twenty odd years
They gave it a go

"The Lady" adapted
and was a great place to buy
But, her past as a theater
Well, it never would die
New owners took over,
A cabaret place
Was the next incarnation
She had a new face
"The Lady" was re-done
With tables for meals
Great entertainers
and she held wide appeal

"I remember Bob Darin..."
"Dean Martin and Jerry"
"Came here in to town"
"And they all made quite merry"
"Great singers and shows"
"Kept "The Lady" on point
"But, tastes changed again"
"a new King they'd annoint"
"Elvis, came through here"
"Played "The Lady", two shows"
"But, rock and roll stars"
"Don't come up where it snows"

"The Lady" closed up
became a hostel for a time
To hide all her beauty
Was truly a crime
She's been a store and a warehouse
And a place that made hats
But for thirty odd years
She's been home to some cats
Derelict, vacant...no one comes round
It's about time for "The Lady"
To be knocked to the ground

Some piegeons and vagrants
The bats, cats and owls
all leave in the morning
When the cityscape howls
The owner, not caring
Signed off on her long ago
It's been fifty odd years
Since she housed her last show

Her boards held up Jolson
George Burns, ***** Brice
And I said, she housed Elvis
He played here twice
But, now "The Lady"
Sits and waits for the call
Of the man in the crane
With the old wrecking ball

The old man, wiped his eyes
And he turned from the scene
"I would remember
"Of how she had been"
"A palace of talent"
"A place one should be"
"Now, she's only a relic"
"But she's "The Lady" to me.

Political correctness has reached a brand new low
It has now reached good and evil
And has changed things down below

The devil is still the devil,
That much has not changed
But, the food is all organic
And the meat is all free range

I didn't know the changes 'till
I made a plea last week
To sell my soul for increased wealth
And other things I seek

I expected a commotion
When the devil came from hell
But, there was nothing quite so flashy
When someone...rang my bell

I answered thinking nothing much
I looked outside to check
I am wary of the Mormons
and Jehovahs on my deck

I looked outside and there I saw
A man dressed all in grey
A poll taker, election geek
Let's see what he may say

"Good day, kind sir, I come to you"
"You wanted to be rich"
I thought he isn't from no bank of mine
He said "Sir, just call me Mitch"

"Mitch", I said, "I don't know how"
"you'd know I want to sell my soul"
He told me that was why he's here
To get a deal done was his goal

I said, "why use the door bell"
"Why not the cloud of smoke"
He said "with budget cuts'
"Pyrotechnics made us   broke"

"The PC folks got wind of us"
"of our tricks and double speak"
"Now, you sign away your soul to us"
"but, you can get out within the week"

"We can't go by the same old name"
"Hell is not allowed"
"We're H...E...double hockey sticks"
"Try saying that aloud"

"It doesn't have the forcefulness"
"That the other word once had"
"we can call it heck, if we're in a pinch"
"You can see, it's got quite sad"

"The contracts are all readable"
"You don't have to sign in blood"
"With *** and STD's"
"It may as well be mud"

"A soul still has some meaning"
"But, as you yourself can see"
"The devil stays at home now"
"And sends his minions out...like me"

"I have a small brochure for you"
"You have choices, please pick six"
"It's more a club, a health resort"
"In H...E...double sticks"

"I can't get out, I'm stuck for good"
"I signed my deal before"
"The PC people got us good"
"And now...we use the door"

"Please look over the contract"
"Take your time, and read it close"
"You'll find it is a real good read"
"With language, non verbose"

"If you should have some questions"
"change your mind,  or want to tour"
"Just call me on my cell phone
"I'm at star66 extension 4"

"I'm sure you'll still come down  to us"
"It's not so bad, you'll see"
"Just call me when you're ready"
"You've got time, now we're PC"

Cases of old records sat
Waiting for someone to buy
Along with mismatched tea cups
And plates as blue as sky

Vultures jumped at everything
Leaving cars running in park
Picking through the yard sale scraps
Like a raccoon in the dark

Bickering for savings
Saying a quarter is too much
I'll only pay a nickel
To buy a broken crutch

Ice skates, ball gloves, baseball hats
tossed and thrown around the yard
To watch these jackals fighting
Over a half pound piece of lard

It's amazing that one's treasures
Are reduced to blobs of crap
By bargain hunters set to pay
For unused Christmas wrap

They jostle and they tussle
To get close for a deal
They try to bundle things together
To them....it is a steal

You smile, take their money
Tell them thank you, as they shriek
Over deals they think that they have got
On stuff...they'll sell next week!!

Derelict, decrepit,
Just a waste of space
A relic from a different age
One who'd run the race

An eyesore
Gives the place a name
Represents a time long past
It's no longer in the game

A stiff wind would take it down
It's not worth a single dime
Take it down, demolish it
It's enemy is time

A single pane of glass is left
Cracked from side to side
In fact it's cracked the whole way through
As tall as it is wide

The others are all boarded
Keeping out nothing at all
The only thing the wood does
Is act as canvas to them all

Graffiti covers every space
That is left standing here
It used to be a factory once
That made a local well known beer

BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE....

Inside the building squatters sit
Derelicts, wastes of space
The building is their home for now
Away from the rat race

Eyesores, hidden in plain sight
Humanity at it's worst
That is the image given them
Because of addictions thirst

A stiff wind would take them down
So thin and frail are they
Protected by a building that
A storm could blow away

One side thinks it awful
The other, thinks it's good
An eyesore and a fragile shell
Of old bricks and glass and wood

But...for one plain window
Separating worlds apart
A crack runs through the window
It is the buildings heart.

Fourteen months I practiced
Climbing rocks and hillocks too
I was off to see the Seer
On a mountain in Peru
I packed my gear
My ropes and boots
and I set off on my trip
I had brought along
ten pairs of gloves
So I would not lose my grip
The group we had assembled
Had questions for this man
Questions church folk could not answer
And we all hoped he can
Tales of his great insight
Spread from sea to sea
And we were off on an adventure
And he would talk to me
Each seer lived inside a cave
With a pillow and a goat
With the goat hair stuffed his pillow
And the extra for a coat
He never left his mountain
Never came to town for food
He was always free with answers
No matter what his mood
The seer had been a fixture
On the mountain top for years
Over five hundred winters passing
Had meant there'd been eight seers
We climbed upon arrival
It took two days just to reach
The base camp, our new homeland
We would learn and he would teach
The weather cleared on Tuesday
And we ventured out in force
We were bogged down ******* Friday
And we had to leave our horse
Each day the trek was tougher
But, our goal was still in sight
We figured if the weather cleared
We'd be there in one more night
The next day we had made it
We were where the seer had sat
There was a goat, and a small letter
Saying "There's now an app for that"
"Thank you for your interest"
"But, I've set up a new site"
"It's www.seer.com"
"Safe journey home, and have a good good night".

My daughter came home sunday
And pronounced as loud as hell
I got married on vacation
And there's plenty here to tell
From now on it's a new thing
At Christmas, here's the test
Before we eat our dinner
By a rabbi, it is blessed
Her mother, not the sharpest
Thought a bit, and with a grin
Said, if we sit down with a rabbi
Would he truly , well...fit in?
My daughter said, well Mama
The man that I just wed
Is jewish so I'm changing
I felt a pounding in my head
From now on a menorah
Would be needed in the house
My wife said, no more pets here
Your brother has a mouse
My daughter said, no mama
It's a special, holy thing
Where you light up eight blessed candles
And enjoy the holiness they bring
My wife, said, Oh I knew that
I was testing, that was all
I'll put one on my shopping list
I'll go and buy one at the mall
My daughter then continued
there's other changes that will come
I just stood there, headache pounding
I was feeling deaf and dumb
The Christmas Tree will have to go
No turkey, kosher food
No crackers or old stockings
They may think of these as rude
At this point I exploded
No Christmas Tree, no way
Little girl, this is my house, my dear
Now, listen as I say
The tree will be as always
In the corner by the fire
the stocking hung with tender care
With nails and picture wire
The turkey will be 20 pounds
At least, stuffed full of bread
Kosher food, if served here
Will be only if I'm dead
Christmas is my holiday
It's in my house, where I am boss
And I say we have a turkey
And pray to Jesus on the Cross
A Kosher Kristmas in this house
May never come to pass
We can celebrate at your new home
Got it straight, my little lass
In my house I'm the ruler
So don't come in with something new
In my house we are Christian
And we celebrate a jew
We will welcome your new husband
To our home at Christmas time
But, while you're in this dwelling
The rules in force are mine
If you want a Kosher Kristmas
I think it is a good idea
If you celebrate together
But you do not do it here....

Life is made of moments
Some might be just a blip
But the whole sum of these moments
Make living life a trip
The big things rule
So some would say
But, not me, oh not me
It's the blips and all the little things
The things I want to see
I need all of the little things
To make my day seem right
I need to hear a snoring sound
When I turn out the light
Having kids is bigger stuff
Than I can list on here
It's little things that I will miss
When my loved one is not near
Like now, I miss the little things
That were part of my routine
With Titan gone and just us two
There's always more poutine
We order less when we go out
there's no one waiting at the stairs
It's nothing but, a little thing
That we miss now he's not there
A simple touch, a friendly word
An irritant at times
But, in life I miss the little things
They make life's mountain worth the climb
Missing friends, their silly jokes
You've heard a hundred times or more
These are just the little things
That I am waiting for
I miss them all, these little things
No matter , just how small
They make my life a treasure
And you know I miss them all
A word, a song, a photograph
A memory it brings
I think of all the larger stuff
But, I miss the little things....

A gentle giant lay his head
Down for one last sleep
He looked at me as if to say
You did your best, don't weep
You shared your life and love with me
You saved me, gave me life
Now, it's time for you to love again
With mum, my mum, your wife
I will run and play, we'll meet again
By the rainbow bridge I'll wait
I'll be there, when it's your time
Don't forget me, don't be late
It's time for you to let me go
It's best for all concerned
Keep me close and don't forget
What I taught, and what you learned
Love is unconditional
Love is also free
I will watch for you from here
If you will watch for me
He looked again, and laid his head
No more needles little man
Now close your eyes, and go to sleep
We will see you when we can
Through you we both are better
Stronger than before you came
We will not forget your smile
And on our hearts is burned your name

His smile
shall remain
in my
heart and
soul forever.

In the backroads there's a legend
By the old black hanging tree
That this is the old crossroads
Where the devil comes to me
There's nothing near, it's barren
But the tree and an old rope
It is dark, and bleak and distant
And all devoid of hope
Is this the famous crossroads
where the devil makes a deal
It depends on what you're willing
To trade and get his seal

There is a tale of Johnny
Who played and won his bet
He beat the Devil at his game
But, the Devil does not fret
For every Johnny that is lost
A million more are signed
Just look around the world and see
They just so easy for to find

The pious and believers
Pass the tree and it's ok
But, the souls who wish to trade up
Feel a reason for to stay
The Devil hears their pleas
And he comes up to their side
He brings along the contract
And then he takes them for a ride

Deals are made for money
and deals are made for fame
It doesn't matter to the Devil
He's the ruler of the game
You'll get your wish regardless
In trade he gets your soul
The only thing you need to know
Is that you are no longer whole

A contract is a contract
And redemption sets you free
But, to doublecross the devil
Isn't easy as you'll see
Johnny beat him fairly
And the Devil said that he
Will come and grab a million more
By the old, black, hanging tree.

Follow me
to new worlds
to places never seen

Follow me
who knows where we
will say that we have been

Follow me
And meet the folks
Who live deep in my brain

Follow me
and take a ride
On an old time Christmas Train

Follow me
and see the street
have a laugh along the way

Follow me
Enjoy the ride
Where shall we go today?

Follow me
Investigate
Places I create

Follow me
please be on time
You don't want to be late

Follow me
I'll do my best
To be a nice and polite host

Follow me
And who knows
You'll meet "My Holy Ghost"

Follow me
deep in my mind
But be careful where you tread

Follow me
And have some fun
With the worlds inside my head

Stores were being heldup
The crime wave was big news
The culprit showed up naked
Wearing a smile and some shoes
No one would be able
To identify the crook
No one saw her face to well
They really never looked
The cops kept working on it
They chased down every lead
But none of them were helpful
Giving evidence they'd need
All they knew,....a woman
would come in and she'd flash
Her ***** at the man working
And she'd make off with the cash
Fourteen stores and stations
Were hit by this bold *****
But without her even knowing
Her plan had a small wrench
I take you to the latest store
Where the police have come to see
Why the woman ran without the cash
Let's listen in...shall we?

"we heard sir, that you've cracked our case"
"you're the first person to see her face"
"Of courth I did you silly goose"
He held out his hand "just call me Bruce'
"She shouldn't be too hard to find"
"If there's one thing I know, it's a bare behind"
"You see, when she found I was gay"
"That's when she turned and ran away"
"She won't get too far on those heels"
"She left on foot, she had no wheels"
The questions then came fast and quick
All answered, smoothly...and real slick
"First, I noticed that her shoes"
"Were cheap, bad knock off Jimmy Choos"
"The lining of her coat was stained"
"And her hair colour, not much remained"
"She had a note pinned to her *******"
"I didn't care, you might have guessed"
"She held a bag, said fill it up"
"I'd say she was a full D cup"
"I told her I don't think so dear"
"I think that gave away I'm queer"
"I mean, no earrings or a matching purse"
"Some style please....but, I've seen worse"
"She should not be too far away"
"Her shoes aren't runners, they're made to play"
"Blond hair, bad roots, ends were frizzy too"
"Fingernails all badly done, a rotten shade of blue"
"I hope I have helped you boys"
"Are those cuffs real?...I like your toys"

The cops put out an APB
To catch this woman on the loose
You see they never want to
Go back and talk to Bruce
So, if you want to rob a store
Now, listen for this.....wait...
Make sure the man who's working there
Is sure as shooting...STRAIGHT~~~

Down in the bayou where the mangroves grow
There's talk of black voodoo, like Marie Leveau
The Swamp Witch, is legend, she has magic so black
That those who have seen her, have never come back
There;s tales of the noises that come from the dark
Of werewolves and zombies as rough as the bark
The mangroves are sentinels, to where the magic resides
Where even a longboat has no room to glide
Bodies go missing from the graveyards most nights
And there's always a fog shading the fireflies lights
The Swamp Witch is ruler and Queen of this world
Where souls are all taken and spines can be curled
They say that she came here from Canadian lands
She was a metis they say, from the Western Tar Sands
A mystic by nature, a dark witch by blood
She lives deep in the swamp, protected by gators and mud
The gators respect her, they do as she bids
They keep watch on the waters, they're her reptillian kids
She keeps zombies as gendarmes, collecting bodies to turn
Just how black is her magic, no one can discern
The Swamp Witch is legend, she is as old as all time
The air in the bayou is as thick as the slime
The cajuns say voodoo is the core of her heart
They avoid fishing where the mangrove trees start
The Swamp Witch, a legend ? or is she truly the Queen
She's the Louisiana Witch, no one survives once she's seen.....