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Dave had always lived in a world where everything worked out. Not always perfectly, mind you. Sometimes the turkey burned. Sometimes the dog ate the neighbor's Thanksgiving centerpiece. But things worked out. That was the rhythm of life in their quiet Toronto neighborhood.


So when the news came—when they heard that Stuart had died—there was no script to follow.

It was Morley who read it first. She was scrolling through the CBC news app on her phone, looking for a recipe she’d bookmarked, when the headline stopped her: “Storyteller Stuart McLean Dead at 68.”


She said his name aloud, like she was testing the sound of it in a sentence that shouldn’t exist. “Stuart… died.”


Dave was in the kitchen polishing a record with the hem of his sweater, humming a song that hadn’t been popular since disco fell out of fashion. He froze. “What do you mean?”


Sam came in from the garage. Stephanie stood in the hallway, halfway down the stairs. Murphy, sensing something unspoken pass between them, stopped scratching at the door and lay down.

It was like gravity had shifted in the house. Everything looked the same, but nothing felt right.


“But… we’re still here,” said Sam. “He’s gone, but we’re still here.”


Stephanie tilted her head. “Are we supposed to keep going? Are we… allowed to?”


Nobody answered. The question wasn’t really about permission.


Dave went to the basement. He dug out the old radio—the one he used to listen to the Vinyl Cafe on, back when he thought he was just a character in a story someone else was telling.

And that night, they listened. They sat in the living room, not talking. Stuart’s voice filled the space like old perfume you couldn’t quite place. He was there, and not there.


“He told our stories,” Morley said softly. “He gave us to the world.”


“He made people care about us,” added Stephanie, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“He gave us Murphy,” said Dave.


Murphy thumped his tail once, then laid his chin on Dave’s foot.

The next morning, Kenny Wong opened the café early. He set out a *** of tea and a plate of oatmeal cookies on the counter. He played nothing but old Vinyl Cafe episodes through the speakers.


Customers came in quietly. Some sat at their usual tables. Some brought flowers. Some just stood near the counter, not ordering anything.


Kenny placed a small framed photo of Stuart beside the cash register. “No charge today,” he said. “Just listen.”

In the back room, Dave stared at the shelves of records. “Do you think he ever planned to end us?” he asked Morley.


“No,” she said. “But he taught us how to go on without him.”


Over the next few days, the house filled with little mementos. Letters from listeners, drawings from children, even a carved wooden figure of Dave in his apron, holding a vinyl record like a waiter holds a tray.


“We’re not just stories anymore,” said Sam. “We’re… real. Somehow.”


“We’ve always been real,” Morley replied. “We just didn’t know it.”


That weekend, Stephanie posted on social media: “My family was created by Stuart McLean. But we are held together by the people who listened. Thank you.”


The post went viral. Thousands of comments. Memories. Tributes. One person wrote, “Your stories were part of our Sunday drives. You feel like family.”


Stephanie read every comment out loud at dinner. “I thought I was just someone’s imaginary big sister,” she said, “but I think I’m more than that now.”


Dave organized a block gathering. Nothing fancy—just a potluck and a boom box playing old episodes. People brought their kids. They shared their favorite Vinyl Cafe moments.


One woman brought a scrapbook of printed transcripts. Another brought a pie recipe she’d copied from “Morley’s Famous Apple Pie” episode.


“I don’t even bake,” she laughed. “But I made this for him.”


That night, after everyone had gone, Morley walked into the backyard and stared at the stars.


“Do you think he knew?” she whispered.


Dave came up behind her and slipped his hand into hers. “He knew.”


In time, things settled into a new rhythm. Kenny renamed the Sunday brunch special “The Stuart Stack”—three pancakes, a side of laughter, and coffee refills forever.

People still asked if there would be new stories. And Dave always said the same thing: “Only the ones we keep telling.”


Because something funny had happened. Without meaning to, they had become real. Not because they were on the radio. But because they mattered to someone.


Because somewhere, in a car, or a cottage, or a kitchen, someone had laughed with them. And maybe even cried with them.


Stuart had written them into the world. But the listeners—you—kept them there.

So now, every time Dave walks through the Vinyl Cafe, or Murphy chases his tail, or Morley burns another casserole, they remember. They remember the man who gave them breath and made them beloved.

And when they tell their stories—because they still do—they begin, not with “Welcome to the Vinyl Cafe,” but with something deeper: “Thank you, Stuart."
It was Morley’s idea, originally.

Well—technically—it was her idea. She was the one who suggested it. She’d read about the pumpkin festival in The Neighbourhood Weekly, which Dave always said was less journalism and more passive-aggressive scrapbooking. There was a coupon for kettle corn and a blurry photo of last year’s pumpkin queen.

“They’ve got a corn maze,” she said, circling the date on the fridge calendar with the kind of enthusiasm she usually reserved for yoga passes or tax rebates. “And there’s a trebuchet!”

That was the moment Dave perked up.
“A trebuchet?”
“A pumpkin trebuchet,” said Morley.
Dave’s eyebrows shot up like they were trying to escape his forehead. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

You see, Dave had a theory. He believed that nothing—nothing—bonded a father and son more than launching something across a field using medieval warfare technology.
“Other than blowing things up, shooting things, or fishing,” he said.
Sam, his teenage son, didn’t look up from his phone, but nodded just enough to endorse the theory.

So the plan was made. Saturday. The whole family. The pumpkin festival.

Now, Dave has a history with autumn.
More specifically, he has a history with pumpkin-related injuries.
There was the Great Carving Debacle of 2003, when he tried to recreate the face of Elvis on a jack-o'-lantern using only a melon baller and a paring knife. That one ended with four stitches and a pumpkin that looked like it had seen things it could never unsee.

Then there was the incident with the gourd bongos. But we don’t talk about that.

So when Dave said, “Let’s carve a family pumpkin this year!”
Morley, already tying her scarf, just said, “Only if we carve it after we visit the emergency room, and save us the trip.”

But Dave was in full-on Dad Mode.
This was about tradition. About memories. About picking out the perfect pumpkin together.
You know—the big orange beacon that says: this family has it together.

When they arrived at the festival, the smell of roasted corn and wet hay was thick in the air. Children were running around in dinosaur onesies. A man on stilts was juggling squash. There was a booth selling artisanal cider that tasted suspiciously like Tang.

They made it to the corn maze first. Morley squinted at the map nailed to the fence.
“Dave,” she said, handing him a copy, “remember last time?”
“I only got mildly lost,” said Dave.
“You were found by a Girl Guide troop from Sudbury,” said Morley.
“They gave me cookies,” said Dave.
“They took pity on you,” said Morley.

It was agreed that Sam would go with Dave this time.
“You’re our tracker,” said Morley.
“Cool,” said Sam, not looking up.

They disappeared into the stalks.
Twenty minutes later, Sam emerged with a caramel apple and no Dave.

They found him forty-five minutes later, arguing with a scarecrow and trying to get GPS on his phone.

Eventually, they made their way to the pumpkin trebuchet.
It was run by a man named Doug who wore a welding mask and had one thumb too few.
“Safety first!” he bellowed, before pulling the lever and launching a pumpkin clear over a cornfield.
Dave’s eyes gleamed.
“Sam,” he whispered. “This. Is. Living.”

Somehow, Dave convinced Doug to let him load one in himself.
Morley, sensing doom, had already begun rifling through her purse for the insurance card.

Dave lifted a particularly large pumpkin—he said heft matters—and, with a theatrical flourish, placed it in the sling.
He pulled the release cord.
Nothing happened.

He gave it a tug.
Still nothing.
So he gave it what he called “a proper man’s yank,”
And the arm whipped forward with a medieval vengeance.

The pumpkin flew.
So did Dave’s hat.
The trebuchet did a sort of ancient, wooden backflip.
The pumpkin, instead of soaring majestically across the sky, hit the axle and exploded like an orange grenade.

Morley later described the result as “like standing beside a Jackson ******* painting made of pie filling.”

Dave wiped pulp off his glasses.
“Well,” he said, “that one’s a write-off.”

They left shortly after that.
Sam with a new appreciation for physics.
Morley with half a sleeve of emergency wet wipes.
And Dave—with a mild concussion and a bag of frozen corn on his head—declaring,
“Next year, we build our own trebuchet.
Dave and the Knee

Dave twisted his knee one Saturday afternoon in the driveway. He and Sam had been fooling around with a basketball, one of those impromptu father-son contests where neither of them actually knew the rules but both were convinced they were winning.

Sam, taller and younger, had the advantage. But Dave had experience—or at least, what he thought was experience. He made a sudden pivot, a dramatic move meant to show Sam who really knew the game, and something inside his knee gave a loud, wet pop.

He froze in place, his hands on his hips, trying to play it cool. “Just a little tweak,” he said, though the color had drained from his face. Sam tilted his head and said, “Dad, you look like you just got shot.”

Morley came outside just in time to see Dave hobbling toward the porch like a man escaping a pirate duel. “What happened this time?” she asked, though she already knew the answer. With Dave, there was always a “this time.”

The doctor told him it wasn’t serious—yet. A mild ligament strain. But he warned Dave that the next one could mean bigger trouble: surgery, long recovery, months of physiotherapy.

Dave nodded solemnly, the way you do when someone gives you very serious advice. But in his mind, he had already decided that this was going to be handled the old-fashioned way: with grit, denial, and perhaps an ice pack if Morley forced it on him.

Physiotherapy, as far as Dave was concerned, was not medicine. It was medieval. He was convinced every physiotherapist had trained by studying the works of Torquemada and the Spanish Inquisition.

“They don’t heal you,” he told Kenny Wong over coffee. “They break you. Then they tell you it’s good for you.” Kenny, who had once been told to stretch before jogging and promptly tore his hamstring, nodded in sympathy.



This was not, in Dave’s mind, his first basketball injury. No, no. His “career” had been marked by drama from the very beginning.

Back in high school, Dave had played for the North Bay District Wildcats. Or rather, he had been listed on the team. His main role was to be called in when everyone else had fouled out, sprained something, or wandered off to the cafeteria.

But Dave loved basketball. He loved the sound of the ball thumping on the hardwood, the squeak of sneakers, the roar of the crowd. The crowd, of course, rarely roared for him.

There was one game against Timmins that he remembered with both horror and pride. Dave, filled with sudden inspiration, decided he was going to dunk the ball.

He was five-foot-eight on a good day, with shoes and hair. Dunking was not in his repertoire. But Dave was not the kind of man to let reality interfere with ambition.

He charged the net, leapt as high as his legs would carry him, and slammed the ball with all his might.

The ball hit the rim like a cannonball, ricocheted back, and smacked Dave directly in the forehead.

He collapsed, unconscious. When he came to, the crowd was cheering. For Timmins.

Later, he would say this was the moment he realized his real talent wasn’t in sports but in “building character.” And so, when his knee gave out in the driveway decades later, he told himself, “This is just another character-building injury.”

The doctor had given him stretches. He had given him resistance-band exercises. He had even demonstrated them. “Do these at home,” he said.

Dave promised he would. And then, of course, he didn’t.

Morley would find the resistance band on the kitchen counter, coiled like an unused party streamer. She’d leave sticky notes: Ten reps, twice a day.

Dave would read the note, sigh heavily, and pour himself a coffee instead. “Tomorrow,” he’d mutter. Tomorrow never came.

When Morley asked, “Did you do your physio?” Dave would look wounded, as though she had accused him of a terrible crime. “I’m pacing myself,” he’d say. “These things take time.”

“You’re supposed to pace your exercises,” Morley would reply, “not your excuses.”


This wasn’t Dave’s first run-in with modern exercise either. A few years back, Morley had convinced him to join the YMCA. “Just to keep in shape,” she’d said.

On his first day, Dave wandered around the weight room like a man lost in a foreign country. The machines all looked like they’d been designed by NASA for zero-gravity torture experiments.

He finally chose the elliptical trainer. “Looks safe,” he muttered.

For thirty glorious seconds, Dave felt invincible. His legs pumped, his arms swung, he was practically an Olympian.

Then he realized he couldn’t stop. His legs churned faster and faster, like a hamster on a wheel.

Sweat poured down his face. His shirt clung to him. He reached for the stop button, but the machine yanked his arm back each time like a cruel trick.

People gathered to watch. A kindly old lady called, “You’re doing great, dear!”

Finally, Dave launched himself sideways off the machine, landed in a heap on the yoga mats, and lay there gasping like a shipwreck survivor.

That was the end of his YMCA career. From then on, he insisted exercise should come “naturally.” Like walking to the fridge.


So it made perfect sense to everyone who knew him that Dave would resist physiotherapy.

The problem was, everyone else was invested in his recovery. Morley kept track of his exercises. Sam teased him. The neighbors, catching wind of his injury, suggested yoga classes.

Even the physiotherapist herself, a cheerful woman named Stephanie, had developed a certain look. It was the look teachers give when they know you haven’t done your homework.

“You’re not doing your exercises, are you, Dave?” she said one afternoon.

“Of course I am!” Dave replied. “I do them all the time. At home. In private. I don’t like to brag about it.”

Stephanie raised an eyebrow. “Funny,” she said. “Your knee doesn’t agree.”



Soon it wasn’t just Morley and Stephanie keeping him accountable. Sam began making jokes about medieval torture.

“Careful, Dad,” he’d say, “Stephanie might bring out the iron maiden next week.”

Dave would grumble. “She already has. It’s called a stationary bike.”

Even the neighbors got involved. When Dave shuffled past Mrs. Patterson’s house, she called, “Don’t forget to do your stretches, dear!”

Kenny Wong suggested they do the exercises together, as a kind of support group. The idea of Kenny wobbling on one leg with a resistance band nearly convinced Dave to try. Nearly.

But when it came down to it, Dave always found a reason to avoid the work. There was always a book to read, a coffee to drink, a record to play.



And then, one day, while reaching for a jar of pickles on the top shelf, Dave’s knee buckled again.

He let out a strangled cry, part pain, part surprise, and part something else: the sudden realization that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t invincible anymore.

Morley rushed in, exasperated. “This is exactly what the doctor warned you about!” she said.

Dave sat on the floor, clutching the pickle jar. “I was just trying to make a sandwich,” he muttered.

“Dave,” Morley said gently, “you have to do the exercises.”

And finally, sitting there with his pride and his pickles, Dave admitted—maybe she was right.
I have smoked cigars in so many strange and improbable places that it would make a travel guide blush. Once, on a Mississippi riverboat, I shared a Havana with a man who claimed he had once dined with Napoleon—though I suspect he had only dined on Napoleon brand pastries.


The cigar, in such circumstances, became a confidant, for it listened without comment while my companion exaggerated his exploits. I puffed discreetly and wondered if smoke could mask fibs.


I once lit a fine cigar in a hotel lobby in New Orleans, only to have the clerk inform me that smoking indoors was forbidden. I protested that the cigar was innocent of any wrongdoing; he suggested I resign it to the street, where it might join the other tobacco exiles.


On another occasion, I shared a modest cigar with a pair of river pilots, who puffed vigorously and insisted that the smoke added flavor to their coffee. I suspect they were merely trying to intimidate the steamboat rats.


I have observed, with amusement, that some men smoke cigars to demonstrate wealth rather than taste. One such gentleman purchased a brand so expensive that I feared the cost would give him a coronary before the first puff.


To his surprise, the cigar was weak and watery, and he turned to me with a look of betrayal. I suggested, gently, that fortune sometimes errs in matters of tobacco.


There are, of course, men who should not smoke at all. I once shared a room with a fellow who coughed so violently that the smoke would have been lost in a hurricane. He persisted, convinced that effort alone conferred dignity.


I have smoked cigars while fishing, and found that the aroma mingles quite well with the Mississippi mud. One might even say the trout are flattered by the scent, though I suspect they would prefer bait over bouquet.


There is a story I must tell of a banquet in London, where I was seated next to a man who insisted on lighting cigars beneath the chandeliers. One spark descended upon the tablecloth, igniting a napkin in a most alarming fashion.


I managed to save the dessert, and the man saved face, though the waiters did not speak to him again for the rest of the evening.


I have smoked cigars in the company of poets, who muttered about “the divine inspiration of the leaf.” I do not doubt their devotion, though I suspect their verses would have been just as divine without the smoke.

In contrast, I have smoked with cardsharps who swore by cigars as tools of intimidation. They waved the stubs like sabers and puffed smoke in the eyes of opponents, which I consider a most ingenious form of distraction.

There is a kind of joy in observing a fine cigar struggle against a man’s clumsiness. I once handed a cigar to a friend who proceeded to drop it in his soup, to my enduring amusement.


The flavors of cigars are as varied as men themselves. There are earthy cigars, spicy cigars, sweet cigars, and those that taste of nothing but disappointment. One must experiment to discover which suits the moment.


I have learned that a cigar is best enjoyed slowly, with patience and reflection. Hasty smoking results in frustration, and one risks becoming a parody of sophistication rather than a participant in it.


I once attended a literary club where the smoke hung so thick that I could barely read the invitations. One member, a devout teetotaler and anti-smoker, claimed that my puffing was morally offensive. I replied that my moral offense was minimal compared to his opinions.


I have smoked in trains and in hotels, on stages and riverbanks, and have discovered that the cigar lends courage to the timid, patience to the hasty, and modesty to the overconfident.


I have known men who bought cigars with the hope of appearing sophisticated, only to cough themselves into humility before the first puff. A good cigar cannot be faked, though many try.


I have smoked cigars while dictating letters, and once nearly set my manuscript aflame when a spark leapt onto the paper. I learned then that cigars, like life, require vigilance.


There is a small delight in sharing a cigar with a stranger, for the tobacco is a universal language. I have conversed with men who spoke no English, yet the mutual respect for the cigar created understanding.


I have smoked cigars in the mountains of Virginia, where the air was thin and crisp. I noticed that the smoke curls differently in altitude, forming spirals that seem almost alive.


Once, I smoked with a man who insisted that the higher the price, the better the cigar. I allowed him to purchase the finest leaf in the shop; he promptly sneezed himself into obscurity, and I found greater pleasure in a modest, honest stub.


I have smoked in the company of women who enjoy the spectacle of a gentleman at leisure, though they seldom partake themselves. Their applause is often more gratifying than the cigar itself.


I once smoked a particularly pungent cigar in a crowded café in Paris. It was so potent that the waiter fainted, and the patrons fled. I alone remained, puffing serenely, and felt a certain pride in my endurance.


I have smoked with men who argue that cigars enhance intellect. I argue that they enhance reflection, patience, and occasionally courage, but never logic.

I have encountered cigars that are deceptively small, yet mighty in strength. They remind me that appearances can be misleading, both in tobacco and in life.


I have smoked with children observing from a distance, and I have smiled to see the awe in their eyes. I tell them, gently, that cigars are not toys, and some things are best left to maturity.


The ritual of cutting, lighting, and smoking is nearly as pleasurable as the cigar itself. A man who rushes this process is doomed to disappointment.


I once shared a cigar with a man who claimed he could smoke without inhaling. He coughed himself into a chair and learned humility, and I learned amusement.


I have known cigars to be companions in sorrow, celebrations, and quiet contemplation. They are remarkably adaptable to human emotion.


I have smoked in foreign lands where no man knew my name, yet the cigar allowed instant fraternity. There is a diplomacy in tobacco that surpasses many treaties.


I have seen men destroy a cigar by carelessness, and I have seen a man elevate a humble stub to artistry by patience and respect.


I have smoked cigars in libraries, where one must be discreet, and in smoky dens, where discretion is impossible. Both have their lessons.


I have argued with friends over which cigars are best, and concluded that argument is as futile as attempting to measure the Mississippi with a teacup.


In conclusion, let a man smoke wisely, moderately, and with reverence. Let him know the cigar is both pleasure and teacher, and let him remember that not all men—or all cigars—are fit for every occasion.
Perfect! Here’s a Table of Contents and Index of Tales for the Mariposa Halloween Cookbook, designed to look like a true 1925 library-bound artifact:


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Table of Contents

Recipes

1. Moonlit Pumpkin Stew – p.1


2. Widow Hargreaves’ Graveyard Cider – p.3


3. Ashes of Midnight Bread – p.5


4. Lantern-Light Turnip Soup – p.7


5. Witch’s Black Salted Caramels – p.9


6. Owl’s-Eye Porridge – p.11


7. Devil’s Candle Cornbread – p.13


8. Fog-in-the-Belfry Punch – p.15


9. Candied Beetroot Fingers – p.17


10. Jack Kelleher’s Bonfire Chestnuts – p.19


11. Widow’s Walnut Loaf – p.21


12. Shadow-Stepped Pudding – p.23


13. Bone-Crunching Apple Fritters – p.25


14. Phantom-Candle Corn Pudding – p.27


15. Cauldron-Kissed Chocolate Cake – p.29


16. Phantom Punch – p.31


17. Widow’s Walnut Loaf (revisited) – p.33


18. Witchlight Jelly – p.35


19. Scarecrow’s Stew – p.37


20. Jack-o’-Lantern Jam – p.39


21. Witchfinder’s Porridge – p.41


22. Spider’s Silk Candy – p.43


23. All-Hallows Honey Cakes – p.45


24. Coffin-Top Crumble – p.47


25. Eternal Autumn Ale – p.49




---

Marginalia & Notes – p.51

Stir clockwise for luck

Ghostly whispers indicate perfect brewing

Coffin-Top Crumble crumbs may march

Singing to dough ensures courage

Silver coins attract minor spirits
(full 30+ notes continue)



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Index of Tales

Flying Tinker and Moonlit Pumpkin Stew – p.2

Mossy Bootprints from Graveyard Cider – p.4

Dreams of Forgiveness from Ashes of Midnight Bread – p.6

Turnip Lantern Whispers – p.8

Candies Predict Visitors – p.10

Owl’s-Eye Porridge Watches the Children – p.12

Mischief from Devil’s Candle Cornbread – p.14

Fog Spirits and Punch Whispers – p.16

Red Fingers That Teach Courage – p.18

Fiery Chestnuts and Scandalous Tales – p.20

Widow’s Loaf Dreams – p.22

Walking on Shadows with Shadow-Stepped Pudding – p.24

Bone-Crunching Courage in Apple Fritters – p.26

Floating Phantom-Candle Corn Pudding – p.28

Cauldron-Kissed Cake and Invisible Mischief – p.30

Phantom Punch Fog Whispers – p.32

Glowing Walnut Loaf for Dreamers – p.34

Moonlight Jelly Guides Lost Children – p.36

Scarecrow Stew and Vegetable Escapades – p.38

Jack-o’-Lantern Jam Lights the Way – p.40

Witchfinder’s Porridge Reveals the Guilty – p.42

Spider’s Silk Candy Binds Spirits – p.44

All-Hallows Honey Cakes and Longevity – p.46

Coffin-Top Crumble Marches at Night – p.48

Eternal Autumn Ale Keeps Hearts Young – p.50



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This Table of Contents and Index will make the cookbook feel authentic, complete, and library-ready — perfect for printing as a faux artifact or displaying digitally.

If you like, I can add a final “cover page and title design text description” to complete the full artifact experience, giving it the feel of a real 1925 leather-bound book.

Do you want me to do that?
The Kid Could Throw
(as told by Dr. Seuss)


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The kid could throw.
Oh boy—could he throw!
He could zip it through rain,
He could zip it through snow.

He could throw to the left,
He could throw to the right,
He could throw in the morning,
He could throw late at night!

The kid had an arm like a coiled-up spring,
And the way that he played?
Well, he just had that zing!

Scouts watched him in high school,
They came by the ton.
They said, “He’s amazing!
He might be The One!”

He threw like a rocket,
He threw like a breeze,
He could spot a defender
While tying his knees!

At fourteen years old—he was spotted! It’s true!
In Eastern Michigan, Junior League too.
He tossed and he turned and he set record pace,
Then he broke them again with a smile on his face!

He'd dodge and he'd spin,
He would leap and he’d dash,
And never once worried
About making a crash.

His coaches all loved him,
They’d cheer, “Let him play!”
They’d hand him the team
And then just walk away!

Three years he went undefeated, oh yes,
No losses, no fumbles, no panic, no stress.
He won with a grin and a nod of his head,
He played like a legend, the other team fled!

Colleges came like a wild, stampede herd!
“Full scholarship! Full ride! Just say the word!”
He picked out a team where he knew he’d win big,
And threw that ol’ ball like a greased-up pig!

He aced all his classes, he drew up the plays,
He practiced at night and through most of his days.
He tossed like a wizard, he dashed like a deer,
And the NFL said, “We want him next year!”

He played on the telly!
The fans went ker-splat!
And screamed, “This boy's magic!
Now how ‘bout that!?”

The coaches built walls to protect his two feet,
And everyone knew—he just couldn’t be beat.
Then came the time—oh, a big choice to make,
He said, “Going pro!” and made the earth quake!

The Texans came calling, they shouted, “He’s ours!”
They offered big bucks and a contract with stars.
He was gonna be great! He was ready to play!
The crowds all went wild on that hot Texas day!

But then—oh dear me—what a turn of the page,
A twist in the tale, a storm on the stage.

A party was held, with music and song,
But something, oh something, went terribly wrong.

A car drove on by, and BANG-BANG they did shoot,
And joy disappeared in the blink of a hoot.

He hadn’t played once, not a quarter or down,
Before fate came to town, and turned smiles to frowns.

They buried him softly, the fans wept with woe,
And whispered, “He could throw. Oh boy—he could throw.”
WHISKEY WISDOM 🎵
by Roger Turner

[Verse 1]
A man is always looking
To get some free advice
So go and find the fellow
Drinking whiskey over ice
Your friends will tell you one thing
While you're both knocking back a beer
But really, I mean really
Is this the stuff you need to hear?

[Verse 2]
Find a whiskey drinker
He'll tell you how to buy a car
He'll share his whiskey wisdom
About what's a good cigar
A man who drinks good whiskey
Whether neat or over ice
Is the best one you can turn to
When you're looking for advice

[Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, smooth and slow
Poured out quiet, like you’d know
From an old soul in a leather chair
Who’s seen it all and doesn’t care
He’s not preachin’, he’s just nice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Verse 3]
He's made it and he knows it
He's not drinking at the pub
He's sitting in a wing back
Drinking whiskey at the club
He won't talk just to hear it
No small talk or some fad
He’ll tell you straight and simple
The kind of truth that your dad had

[Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, smooth and slow
Poured out quiet, like you’d know
From an old soul in a leather chair
Who’s seen it all and doesn’t care
He’s not preachin’, he’s just nice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Bridge]
So skip the book, forget the blog
Turn off that podcast monologue
Sit down, pour ******* right
And listen to a man who’s lived some life

[Final Chorus]
🎶 Whiskey wisdom, tried and true
It’s not just what—but how and who
From love to loss, to deals gone bad
He’ll pour it out, the good and sad
No silver spoon, just lived it twice
Giving whiskey wisdom over ice 🎶

[Outro]
So if you’re lost or need direction
Or just some straight advice
Go get yourself some answers
Sharing whiskey over ice
Next page