A new year came born last night
Or an old one died
Worn and used, useless
Amidst champaign, påte and toasts.
This new day, new noon, new year
Black tie, fine clothes folded,
Noted a shirt stud lost
And must be replaced.
Before we part five stars
Rented the night
I would
Step outside for a cigarette -
No smoking inside, only cigars.
It's just the help who smoke
Paper wrapped scraps
Out back by the trash
And I wouldn't be welcome.
Lobby busy with guests
On their ways through
Doors held open to
Black labeled autos
Where the heeled reach hand
To men whose faces they avoid
Exchanging obligatory graft
Glad their craft returned.
January air stabs
Its frigid blade slicing
Nostrils, lungs in pain, cheek burns
Frost earns my mustache.
Finally past the bustle
Some steps to the side
Where my fix can be lit
"Hey, brother"
A voice, a wretch
Cold taken its toll, nasal exudate
Frozen in a lake on lip
He hopped from foot to foot
And I smelled him, vagabond
An assault to air already painful
Oh, to walk on, feign deafness!
But needy eyes held me
Refusing the cigarette offered
He just wanted to say
"Happy new year"
Know that he existed.
Brown eyes cried
That someone finally stopped
To listen.

Face pressed against
Dimly lit glass,
The boy once glimpsed
Through and saw
The man.
Unkempt hair
Smooth chin,
Would one day
Hide behind
Gray beard,
Head still wild
Young child
Perched on a knee,
Perhaps.
The thought lingered
While time meandered,
And in my mirror
I see him again -
Plump cheeks,
Smooth-faced,
The child
Who played
With demons
Danced with angels
Kissed the lips of God.
Lost all his battles
Yet still stands
Not completely invalid.

It was new
That thing
I had to do,
Planned months.
Then, tears didn't come
To ease old memories.
Not for lack of loss
Nor sadness.
The deadness, maybe,
Made smiles and crying
Seem child's pursuits.
At dawn, sun was drawn
Over rippled sea
No warm glow -
Harsh white across water
Sand scattered
Bared legs stood
Heads bowed
Silence
It was new to us
When we took the stage
Knee-deep in waves
Man and box of ash
Too empty to explain
The life's work.
It didn't seem fair
But it was
Opened.
Winds calmly noted
To protect company's
Sensitivity
Of backlash
From what they
Once loved.
I was surprised,
The speed
Contents joined
Salty currents,
Not lingering a last look.
Finally released
My body shook,
Her child.

The sword,
An object of beauty
While mildly
Set over mantle
Displayed, idle
And accepted
'Till smeared red in the deed
For which its creator deemed
For it.
We forget the perfect
Flame from which it was forged,
Cursing creation for our failure
To understand His purpose,
Faces stained with disdain
For what was His will.

fire's gone now

humid air relieved in wash of heaven
to cool aching asphalt
by the tree

steam rose

it looked like steam, but may be fog
and the branches hang low
with the load they still hold
from a broken sky

why rain rather than days forever
heavy, humid, expectant
pregnant with maybe
despite their misery?

I now wonder why
I wasted this perfect summer
worrying over weeds
that will never die,
sip death from another cigarette

they'll dance in my ashes someday
my treasures of memories
grown the arrogance of a fool

fire's gone now.

This was my sand yesterday,
Hot and gritty,
Yet comforting, embracing
Under my towel.
Troves of precious shards of shell
Mapped into mind
With the jellyfish abandoned
By the tide
Just out of reach of cool waters
And a pool carved
With ramparts and towers,
An ambitious child's construction
Proudly pronounced eternal.
But we took pictures
To remember,
Anyway.

Now, after breakfast,
Into blue too perfect
This morning's sun rose
To a sky spilled
Cloudless and clear
Over new land
Reformed by night swells
Gulls and terns blown on,
Friends' footprints cleared,
The castle lost
By waves or wind's gusts.
It seems alien now.
My toes dig ever deeper
To discover if warmth
Is still here, hiding below
The surface of what I can see.

Morning's winds fling
Biting bits chipped
From far-off mountains
Cheek and legs sting
In force of anger born
Far offshore,
While the children nestle
My jacket for shelter
It can't give them today.
The tourists left - the sand is ours
To reshape, imprint with feet again.
And plan for tomorrow -
Umbrella, blanket, pails,
Embrace sea's eternal rhythm.
We'll stay.

I just needed to make a call
Check in with the office
**** pay phones never work
Stealing all my money
On dangerous street corners
Where wary faces
Suspiciously eye me
Before yielding some space
To another intruder

And I have to watch them too
Watch my back
My eyes to the side
That must be why
I didn't notice
Only wondered what made the
Plastic so sticky
Pressed up against my ear
A nosebleed sick smell

Those brown red spatters of
Ketchup a kid squirted
More there and there and
Down on the ground
A congealing pond
More ketchup, I'm standing in it
Then I realize it's not ketchup
And I'm retching like I'll *****
Tell the office I gotta hang up

Tight chest begins refusing
Sin's air it will not breath in
I'm loosing fast
The mask
The street face I put on
Clenched jaw, tight lips
Drowning man claws to surface
For the safety of composure

The faces, they're still watching
They knew what I do now
My grimy hand disgusts me
Like a rotten stinking fish
And I don't want to put it
Back into my pocket
To find that ****** car key
But they own this corner,
I just needed to make a call