And that's how you exist in my head
When I hear your name that's what I think
You're an idea, a mantra
Too big to ever shrink

You're too large to ever wander
Too bright to ignore
And when you come close to me
I get this feeling that assures..
Me.
That you're religious, youre holy
You're a spirit, control me
I speak in tongues, mold me
Don't give in to the old me

Awaken me, give in
To the sinners and the sins.
Be my arms, be my lips
Erase past relationships

Guide me, be my arms
Be my legs, snake my charm
Empty me of loathing
Empty me of clothing.

sometimes i feel
so much
i don't know
where
to put
it all
(is it supposed
to flow
out like a
river
or explode
out of my
mouth
or swallow
me
whole?)

Don't worry,

I've been here before,

lying in canopies
of 'where'd you go' and
'what have I done?"

I'm not immune to love-fall
or love-hope
   or even the fall-out -

and there's no
modesty to my
afflictions

don't worry,
I've been here before
and I'm not willing
   to
     wait
       in
          hesitation.

i've seen you cry
felt your pain
i've dried your eyes

i've seen your worst
felt your anger
i've helped your hurt

i've seen your best
felt your smile
i've forgotten the rest

i've seen your heart
felt your pulse
i've touched every part

i've seen your love
felt your love
i've fallen in love

There's nothing like the stillness of night
To bring balance to my body and soul
The moon glows with radiant waves

I stand in adoration
Out in the cold

The snow falls into my feet
With the sound of windchimes
Making music of the street

I am smoke from a discarded cigarette.
I am a dogeared page in an obscure novel.
I am rain on the ocean.

I want to be a sunbeam dancing in a glass of pink lemonade.
I want to be a tall pine's love whisper to the silvery moon.
I want to be a baby's first smile.

I am the dark side of the moon.
I am a blank cartridge.
I am a penny on a train track, waiting.

I want to be yeast bread rising in a warm place.
I want to be newly poured concrete growing firm.
I want to be a toddler's prayer.

I am a schoolyard after recess.
I am a Saturday matinee.
I am mist dying in the mourning sun.
                    

For once I did not secretely crave his rescue.
I did not want to be scooped up
And have my pain smoothed over
By kisses.

I wanted to sit alone
Hold my pain in tightened fists
and stare at the wall.

As if I was looking for an answer to my misery.
Staring for another world to hide in but all I saw was a blank slate
And when I pressed my forehead
To the cold paint,
I did not hear an echo
Or a whisper to help solve my problem.

All that there was in this room
Was empty

Including me.

Love, said the Guru,
         does not hold back,
  love has no lack.
Love does not inhibit,
     love knows no limit.
Love will not abuse,
   love's flow is continuous.
  Love is not blind,
     love heeds no time.
Love, he stated, is not frugal,
   love is inside you.
Love stays alive, never dies,
      Love asks but for use.