Little girl with your blonde, knotty hair,
Clutching your teddy, soft and bare.
Why didn’t you cry?
Why didn’t you shout?
Why didn’t you say what it hurt to go without?
What did you feel you had to hide?
What locked your voice inside?
Did you know that no one would listen?
Or think that no one would care?
What’s wrong little girl, with your teddy bear?
You’re singing songs inside your head,
Trying not to hear…
“You’re selfish, ungrateful, I wish that you weren’t here”.
What did you do to make her so mad?
What was in you that was so bad?
One last blow to your head,
You bite on the arm of little ted.
Curling into a ball so tight,
Keeping the silence of the night.
You’re all grown now,
No longer small.
There are no green bottles sitting on the wall.
You’re now told you didn’t deserve the hurt you knew.
You were four.
The fault wasn’t you.
You should have been held,
Been sleeping in peace.
Not frozen in silence, afraid to release.
You should have been care-free,
Not silenced and shamed.
Should you have done more?
How?
What you bore,
You couldn’t have named.
Now I will try to speak,
for the girl you once were.
I will hold her so tight,
when the memories stir.
I will try to unlock the silence and shame.
I will try to release the tears and the pain.
For you were innocent, little one.
You were not to blame.