Mentioning the word "forever",
Feels like an excuse
Whether it's in terms of commitment
Or the future held between you and another person
There really is no forever
I knew this as I stepped out of your car
Turning to look around the parking garage
Somewhat hesitant to be there
We agreed to take a moment and catch our breath
In the here and now of our busy lives
So we drove to Medley Park
It was late afternoon,
And the masses of people had started to die down
Allowing a flood of teenagers and twenty-somethings
To walk around and talk in serious ways
All throughout the promenades
The scene felt reminiscent of a Paris strip
As night fell, she and I strolled hand in hand
Around the gardens and cobblestone sidewalks
Smiling at strangers
And gazing at the neon lights
That illuminated the alleyways
Of this glazed over palace of noir architecture
Strange now,
How I forget I was too nervous
Nor remember when you touched my hand

Your window rolled down
The smoke
Pouring out of my mouth
Like your chimney in winter
And yet
The whole time
I perceive things moving slow
My grinning face
Your laugh
All the lights from driving down the highway
That every few seconds
Light up our faces horizontally
And flash in terrific blinding orange stripes
But still
Moving slowly
Softly
Like the gentle waves of foam at night
The car slows
The engine dies
I climb out dizzily
I realize we've arrived at the ocean
Just in time for a midnight swim, you say

Days passed with no regard to time or events
I'm on my own
No strings attached
As much as people tell small things do not matter,
I cannot reckon with those thoughts
Everything matters
The time, the place, the story
The room, the people, the looks
It all comes together
Life isn't as simple as everyone around me wants it to be
And so I meet her
She walks into my apartment
Comments on how clean it is
Immaculate, is the word I liked better
She changes clothes
And we head out for a night of bliss
Dancing, drinks,
Gaslight lounging in booths that stuck out in a nostalgic way
I became awestruck
With a magnitude of euphoria that pumped through my veins
Ribbed through my head to toes and back
I was dizzy
I was happy
I knew this is what should take place,
At least once in every person's life
Give yourself that one night
And your fever sweats itself out

How can a person live
With the mundane?
With the trivial?
It knocks into your precious thoughts
And breaks the fine china of your sanity
The glass pouring in light
Becomes muggy
Nod into the direction of freedom
Run away
Take whatever is in store for you

Consider my dues paid
Brewed with freedom
Pain melancholy
Intricately woven in
With a severe lack of care
I somehow guessed
We would part ways
Finally

Finding myself
With no keeper
No doors closed
I sway
Move into the night
With fervor
For what lies ahead
The delicate instruments
Grinding
Stowing away
The secrets kept
From the surrounding cities
Turmoil
Building up
Releasing an uplift of spirits
I could hardly imagine

I want to believe
I will find home