At night
With clasped hands
Near the ocean
Trembling
The wind on our backs
Melted smile
One memory made
One cancer cured
Two notes burned
And six letters kept
Hazel eyes
Be mine tonight

To stare into darkness
Makes you understand
That sleeping is an escape

Be aware
No man has let their story
Become this real

And did you know?
Your mother was deathly sick
Yes, right till the end
Her whimpering your name
Her son has left far away
Your family and their questions
How I lied and said you were working
So long I convinced them of your piety
And so long I hated you
Not for your decision
But that you had a choice
I never did

And I'd never be whole again
To feel anything
I would like to encompass my past
Light silhouetting my face
Writing this to you
One last time
My stomach as a well
Forever dropping and pulling
Being emptied out
And your depths are unknown to me
I hear an echo
In the midst of the night
Haunting my bones
My lungs to ache
Rebuilt
From ages ago
In the mist
And the lights
Stirring
There
I wait for you
And no mortal may know

Fourth time writing you
Getting darker now
Living on roads
Existing at home
My second happy ending
Stimulate
Grey pain
Tear
Dreams of pure love
Awaiting your arrival
Writing on receipt paper
Friday's spent walking  
Much closer now
It seems
Fear became our constant
Breathe for me once more

I realize now
I should have gotten out