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338 · Sep 2015
Nothing like you
Renae Sep 2015
You ask me to sing to you
To write you a song
A love song
A triumph for you
That's something I won't do
When you go away
I will write for someone better
Someone true
Someone who is absolutely
Nothing like you
337 · Feb 2014
When he kisses me
Renae Feb 2014
It's overwhelming
in an instant I get weak
when he kisses me
I get lost in forever
he is where I want to be

I see the aurora borealis
I feel alive I feel intense
this what I go through
when I feel his kiss

I cannot think
I cannot speak
I am putty in his hands
I couldn't fight this
if I wanted
I never stood a chance

People will talk
let them say what they'll say
I've decided to be what you wanted
I may never be the same
Everything has changed
I will always be wanted

So here we are in this moment
make me what you may
with this kiss here's my wish
That you will always stay
334 · May 2015
Promise
Renae May 2015
What is a promise anyway?
Promises should be kept, safe
Locked up and remembered
Promises are a foundation
On which a life is built
If cracked or broken
The structure will cave

Promises are meant to be treasured
To be honored
A promise is often spoken
Without a lot of thought
Crushing the listening ear
Breaking a young heart
An unknowing heart
A trusting heart

So keep your promises
Treasure what is said
Remember it
And keep your life flourishing
333 · Nov 2015
Paris
Renae Nov 2015
Eiffel Towering
Terror
Lost in traslations
In the name of a god
Love
Smashed in pieces
The heart of a city
Tried
Bonding together
Love will prevail
329 · Sep 2014
potentially nothing
Renae Sep 2014
unapologetically
the ideas evaporate
as though it never really happened
gone like $20 at the grocery store
in a snap
with little to nothing to show
besides maybe some small memory
that you'll  deny
328 · Sep 2016
Impatience
Renae Sep 2016
I'll be the first
though it's hardest to admit
What you say?
Impatience

Like a predator
Ready to pounce
In an instant
A sharp Crack
Stab of words!

So Impatient

Still.....

It lingers on me
I am unable to deliver
demands you seek
I am stiff like a cold
hard drink held in your fingers
I sting
until I am tasteless
Impatience
327 · Oct 2017
Unwanted
Renae Oct 2017
Do not dig please
Leave it
burried deep
Layers upon layers
scars so thick
Creating a wall
Guarranteed to hide
Comfortably numb
it's alright
Love is here
Where loyalty is mine
even though outside
It may seem I'm
Unwanted
♡♡♡
327 · Jun 2014
IF
Renae Jun 2014
IF
IF* I were to seek your approval
or just the agreeing nod of your head
IF I eagerly awaited the upturn
of the corners of your mouth instead

IF I was so concerned about your thoughts
of me and who I am
I'm afraid I would not go far at all dear
I'm afraid I'd be better off dead
The only approval I need of anything I do is my Father in heaven's and my own
325 · May 2014
All I wanted
Renae May 2014
Maybe I just wanted to see the beauty of the ocean in secluded perfection
Maybe I just wanted to smell the palm trees swaying in the breeze
to feel the summer sun on my coconut skin
Maybe I wanted you and me in a perfect
setting, a dreamer yes I guess I must be
I suppose
our eyes will never lock again
An embrace of minds, a second of truth
gone forever
324 · Jan 2017
All I ever wanted
Renae Jan 2017
Kiss me as if my kiss
Was all you need to be content
It's all I've ever wanted
Hold me as if I was the softest mink
As if my warmth was your craving
Love me like you would if
You knew I'd be gone tomorrow
Love me with all you are
Love me like I was you
It's all I've ever wanted
324 · Nov 2014
This game(10w)
Renae Nov 2014
Endurance*
is the name of this game
so, I do.
321 · Jun 2014
To My Sister & Friend
Renae Jun 2014
The beauty that only exists in an encouraging word, is the kind of beauty you radiate. The kind that I will always remember and cherish, until the end of time.
For Janice Boker,  I love you sister.
320 · Nov 2013
I can't
Renae Nov 2013
I can't help it,
I'm falling all over myself
I can hardly get the words out
Don't you understand my frustration?
It's been going on for too long now
I am fatigued
I feel used up
It's not healthy to feel like this
I should be stronger by now
I've been doing it for years
but it gets no easier, the fight drags on
Is this what you call fair?
I guess I deserve whatever you decide
I don't know
I can't help myself
319 · Feb 2024
When
Renae Feb 2024
When the night is gone
We can sleep safely
Like small children cradled
In a mothers arms.
When there is no more darkness
We will love deeply
Willingly embracing
Like we've never seen harm
When the sea is cleansed
We will trust fully
We will have peace
Like we've never known
When the moon is no more
The hurt and anguish
Of our mothers will be forgotten,
Only smiles will grace
Only love will replace
Only good will remain
In the day of perfection.
315 · Nov 2014
She
Renae Nov 2014
She
She's off!
On an adventure of her own
Experiences that will light up her darkness
Lifting her hopes and dreams
Love she's never known
Opens doors
She never knew they existed
Growth!
In measures unimaginable
She's running forward
No looking back
She's smiling
She's alive
She's loved
311 · Jun 2015
Cherished
Renae Jun 2015
I had a moment of truth today
I listened to your voice
Laughter in my favorite tone
Smiling in my ears
I whispered in my thoughts
"I miss you"
311 · Jun 2015
Last words
Renae Jun 2015
These are my last words
Just in case I go
Just in case for some reason
I am no longer there
Always remember this:
I hung on a long time
I tried so very hard
To live everyday
for you
I want you to know
Nothing meant more
to me
than your happiness
You were the very heart of me
My reason
You were the one thing
That kept me above it
The one and only why
I didn't want to quit
I love you
With every fiber of me
Please keep these
Last words
*Love, me
For my children
310 · Aug 2014
Enough
Renae Aug 2014
Enough is exhaustion, it's had it too hard, it's been too strong for too long,
enough is through
309 · Jan 2015
Understanding
Renae Jan 2015
Oh mind of mine
Stop thinking
Accept misunderstandings
Find the serenity
I know it is confusing
Though He is not
And your heart is full of want
Time is unforgiving
Unfair is all your feeling
Try to find comfort
Without understanding
Thanks be to Jehovah for being greater than our hearts.
307 · Aug 2013
Over you
Renae Aug 2013
I am sad, I am discouraged
but isn't that what you wanted anyway?
Does it make you smile to see me cry?
I bend from sheer emotional exhaustion
I am sick to my stomach with pain and you laugh you laugh at my crisis
so I ask you how can I care?
How could I even glance your way?
Never again will I fall for you
or believe in your lies
you have decieved me for the last time
and I am finally over you
303 · Jun 2014
Sometimes (like a song)
Renae Jun 2014
Sometimes it gets to me
all I do is think sometimes
and sometimes I want to die
sometimes I just cry
oh sometimes

Sometimes I want to quit
mhmmm mmm
sometimes I can't even begin
when it feels like I'll never win
sometimes

Sometimes the sun shines
even on the inside
sometimes I get a second wind
sometimes I can see the end
oh oh oh sometimes
301 · Oct 2014
Empty
Renae Oct 2014
Why is love so complex
It should be simple
It should be something
you know right away
Without doubts
Without a question
It should be magnetic exhilaration!

Instead love is cruel
heartache and depression
Isolation
Broken hearts
flooding eyes
Bleeding
Crippled minds
Empty arms
Empty lives
301 · Jun 2021
Mosaic
Renae Jun 2021
I've learned I'm entirely
broken...
into tiny fragments.
I don't attempt
to pick up my pieces,
slicing my skin on sharp egdes.
I sat long in the mirror examined my colors... outstanding
my shine, not gone
perhaps not broken.
I said to myself
"I don't need to perfectly fit"
Somehow I'm still beautiful,
sharp, impossible...
I suppose the only thing
left to do is..
proudly place my pieces in cement
301 · Apr 2014
Riddle me this
Renae Apr 2014
To take thee.....

     lying in pieces me

.          Two makes three.......

.                  yet,  tisn't we

.                           after all
.                
.                            who break free
299 · Feb 2017
Gifted
Renae Feb 2017
Why does it seem
only the ones who dream
are gifted of
so many things...
Yet cursed of happiness?
298 · Mar 2014
I read
Renae Mar 2014
Of sadness and confusion
of dreams and hope
Of illusion
I read writings of pure honesty
in those stories
I see the ruins of you and me
298 · Sep 2016
Money
Renae Sep 2016
Money cannot love you
Money cannot cry
Money cannot care
Money cannot try
298 · Oct 2014
Under the bridge
Renae Oct 2014
It's gone
Rushing away
Tumbling, turning
Fast as the current carries
I watch it disappear
Out of my sight
No way to turn back
While I sit
On this bridge
298 · Jun 2014
Us
Renae Jun 2014
Us
I don't want to hear anymore
I never want to feel unwanted
This knot in my stomach
I am tired of being the scapegoat
It's been time, I know it,
Might as well face it
Once the trust is gone it's over
Nothing is all that exists of us
Nothing but a memory
A fantasy
Of something you would throw away
Again and again
Throwing me away like trash
Like yesterday I am forgotten
As is this tragic story of we
So hide it in a box
Never to be told,
A nightmare of us
& all we tried to be
297 · May 2016
Untitled
Renae May 2016
Strings and sticks
holding
About their wrists
about their feet
You command
"dance!"
they do
Its fear
You tell them it's love
Of course
Writing their verse
Sticks & strings
holding
Tighten the grip
You believe
In love with control
Influence and such things
Tightly holding on
To something
You see
like a stage
A performance
entertainment
purposed

The one above you
Sees you

Puppets are toys
And toys are for children
Showing
Yourself a child
Playing
Until the toys,
The children,
The grass,
The air,
The food,
The dirt are useless
Ruining
What does not
belong to you
297 · Jan 2017
Almighty
Renae Jan 2017
Who is the ancient of days
From before time
He made the giant sea swim with monsters
He caused the sun and moon to shine

Can you tell me?

I am searching because I know Him
From a book He wrote, that speaks
of science before scientists!
An incredible book that speaks of future events!

A book that is alive & sharper
than any two edged sword
This is a book
that tells of honest reward

A guide I use that helps me live
A clean life free of guilt and shame
The only book that's ever been accurate

Jehovah is the author's name
He is God Almighty
I search for Him through Jesus name
And somehow I know He finds me
296 · Mar 2014
Important expressions
Renae Mar 2014
It's amazing to me
how one small expression  
changes my whole world
Instantly walls fall down
I am back in a place of yesterday
When life was predictable
You were mine and I was
fearless........ of anything
Your important expressions
make my tears flow
effortlessly
295 · May 2017
Empty headedness
Renae May 2017
I peered inside
For just a few moments
To see if I could find any depth

I found wisdom was non-existent
No truth resides, it's inept
all that remains

A small tickle of comfort
In empty headedness
295 · Mar 2014
Young at heart
Renae Mar 2014
I tapped my toe
while the little man sang
Frank Sinatra's words,
they go something this way
"For it's hard you will find
to be narrow of mind
if you're young at heart"

As I pondered those words
I felt a little absurd
many must feel
I have an elderly heart
With the heart being center
of any decision
I feel that creates
way too much derision
Often we regret that part
Nobody wants to admit it
Yet we finally get it  
stumble and tumble
when life falls apart
All because
we followed the advice
When you are among
the very young at heart

So never forget
to take your brain with you
not just words in songs
Keep your head on straight
consequences continue
things sometimes go wrong
Remember your virtues
I know all you really wanted
was to follow your heart
295 · Mar 2024
Spring
Renae Mar 2024
I stretch my arms to the sky
and breathe in the soft rain
smells of wet concrete
this morning.
It's chilly but crisp out,
the suns rays warm my skin
I gaze hand over eyes at
blue bonnet blankets sewn in patches of green
freshly mowed grass.
Bluebirds sing their  happy songs
in the distance.
It must be spring.
293 · Feb 2014
One short call a day
Renae Feb 2014
Just one short call is all it takes
Just one short call a day
To say I just wanted you to know I love you
One short call to let someone know
nothing is more important
That you have five minutes a day to spare
For someone so special
they will always deserve
just one short call a day
Nothing should be more important than your family
292 · Apr 2015
Cold
Renae Apr 2015
Like ice to the touch
Clouds of breath linger in frigid air
Talking about nothing
Shivers of goosebumps on arms
Hands in pockets hoping for warmth
Finding frozen fingertips hidden
Between the cotton
This is too thin, we need something more
My hands are too alone
My mind too isolated
Carefully choosing thoughts
Words unsure of the ears that listen
It is too cold here to feel safe
291 · Mar 2016
Rain
Renae Mar 2016
Sometimes I feel
Like the rain when it slides
Down my window slowly
One by one
Sliding down
My face no longer smiles
Easy like it used to
Even when my heart would cry
I could muster something
No longer now
Like the rain I am poured out
Like the rain I will dry up
291 · May 2015
A broken heart
Renae May 2015
A broken heart is
Impossible
To put back together
the pieces wont fit
Once it has been
Shattered
289 · Oct 2017
My love
Renae Oct 2017
The only love I've ever known
I have never seen
The only ear that's ever listened
I've yet to hear him speak
But I know he speaks
Through pages I read
In moments
Experiences
I relive in memories
The only love I've never known
I talk to more than anyone
I talk about him too
The only love I'll ever want
I have yet to meet
But somehow I know I will
One day

That day is worth living for
To me it means everything
♡♡♡
287 · Oct 2014
Temptation (10w)
Renae Oct 2014
You were mine &
I was a game you played
287 · Jun 2016
Pain
Renae Jun 2016
The most wicked
unimaginable pain
caused by...

nothing to the naked eye

a wretched
and broken lie

to a child
to a teen
even to an adult being

is this

*"I can do it, but you can't"
285 · Apr 2015
Trigger
Renae Apr 2015
It goes off
Before you know it
Before you can think twice
One slip bliss
No more worry about this
No more worry about you
No more thinking it through
I'm tired of these triggers
Stabbing like a knife
Tired of hurting  
Tired of life
285 · Mar 2014
Dreams
Renae Mar 2014
Dreams are funny things
I had a dream last night
After all this time gone by
My head against your heartbeat
Your arms around me
Our smiles like they used to be
It was so real
Dreams are such funny things
284 · Dec 2013
Your love
Renae Dec 2013
How do I begin when somehow it feels as if it never ends or sometimes as if it never ended....

The taunting smirk of your love leaves me feeling abandoned or at a loss; a bit irritable.....

After all you keep touching my waist and tempting me with that laugh, that smile, those hands...

You come here intoxicated and leave me to sleep alone wanting to be intoxicated too, only with your love.

Love is funny like that, that it's just so upside down. So full of mercy and hope & mystery...
284 · Apr 2014
Silence
Renae Apr 2014
Silence can be so loud
It deafens
shattering the heart to nothing.
282 · Mar 2017
Tired
Renae Mar 2017
Slowly sliding halfway off the cushion
The pillow behind my head feels a bit too
Hard for my liking
It keeps my eyes peeled for something
Anything that might spark my interest
Enough, is there any such thing that exists?
No, I've decided, nothing could keep me
It is too late to resist, heavy as they feel
Eyelids close
like blankets covering windows
Cover these loud Windows please
Life is much too chaotic for the likes of me
No, I feel myself drifting
I am much too tired for anymore of this
Much much too tired
281 · Aug 2014
Mr. Sunshine
Renae Aug 2014
If you have no sincere smile
to share with me

If your gut has never hurt out of
sheer laughter

If you cannot find a reason
or a tune to hum it all away

The silver lining in your life
has depleted

Don't run to me...

I would only regret
I could not change you
I dont want to be an option, I want to be the only one. Humor is an essential part of any relationship
280 · Mar 2015
Trust
Renae Mar 2015
A girl once had a precious jar, it held inside all of her heart. It was filled to the top with special things, like trinkets and pictures and memories. It was painted all pink and glittery. Across the top read her name, she kept it safe behind a frame. Then one day a school friend came by,.... ever so curiously, poking around her jar of special things. Clumsily asking her what was inside, "oh it's really just nothing " she quickly replied.  Honest to God she doesn't want them to see... her very private  personal memories. Some of them good and some not so much,... "You can look at the outside but please don't touch". And this truly was all she'd ask, it shouldn't have been such a very hard task. Alas and still he waited until to the ladies powder room she wondered. He felt the glass, the glitter and paint picked it up and shook it! To the ground it shattered! All over the floor her memories were scattered. Quickly he rushed stumbling this way and that, ripping some papers stepping on glass. In the blink of an eye and it was all over, as quick as he came he ran out the front door.
278 · Oct 2014
My own
Renae Oct 2014
Who am I to say how this will go
Or how that will turn out for anyone
I am no king with a sceptor
I am no queen on a lofty throne
Though I am no jester either
I am just peering into a holy law
I will find answers
I'll look into my own mirror
This shall suffice
I will place my focus
On the most necessary path
My own
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