Blood drenched wrists
Dripping to the ground

"You are not enough"

Was all he heard from the crowd

Eyes blurry
Suffering
Handed thorns for a crown

Crying "please forgive them father"

On him, not a blemish could be found

"You will be with me in paradise"

Comfort to the man
On whose hands
Blood could be found

Was it not enough
To save mankind
Through only the one sacrifice?

I say it was more than enough
A balance of such

None the more
So profound

It's too bad you treat me so poorly
I might have even taken you back
Now that you've shown your true colors
I couldn't imagine that downfall

Trying desperately to be something I'm not
All for what?
For your disdain
Perhaps your dismissal
Somehow I don't
feel so sorry for her

I'm reminiscing  on video chats
deep stares and full lips
cocking your smile to the side you said
I could call you mine
Then I wondered
Across 5,000 miles
Who else was on the line?
Who else was falling for your smile
Those eyes, that skin,
the cool way you calmly replied
Your heroic nature
You love to save the world
You have a charming way
You could've changed my world
I only wish
I was your only girl

Of all the blessings life can bring
Nothing could mean more to me
Than to drink life's water free
The greatest blessing is eternity

Yes I'm planted like a tree
My trunk is thick my roots run deep
Drinking from a stream not the sea
I believe in more than you and me

It's so much more than eyes can see
Pure faith in honesty
It's a gift that sets men free
From all the hypocrisy

It's real; it's serious
leaders try to keep it mysterious
for pockets deep and minds delirious
hoping none make sense of the curios

But go ahead and hide from reality
Since it's more comfortable not to think
How sickening it would be
If this system were never ending

No one can hide from the truth
It will happen win or lose
Nothing can stop it from coming true
So it's our choice to choose

I choose life everlasting
Hope and understanding
I chose the gift that sets men free
I believe in more than you and me

For a moment
My world revolved around you
To see you to hear your voice
To watch you live
To know you had a choice
To think I was it
I was thrilled
Your passon for heroism
Your complicated fears
Your parenting skill
Just your presence was enough
I was wrapped up in you
Then you ran away from my love
And let me weep in grief
One mistake to the next
Love is not for me......

I've always been dead really
A little too easy to forget
A little too hard to remember
Too unnoticeable to notice
Too quiet to complain

Back then
He was my strength
My everything
My only dream
I would have
Endured anything
Until he broke
Under the heat of you
I hate you
Wicked thing
You are nothing
Nothing to me
Nothing at all
Like he was

What irritates you most?
Rubs you wrong
Makes you cringe
Squint your eyes
Bite your lip
Don't express what's locked
Deep down inside
Reality tries to peek
It's ugly head
Take the cramped and jagged
Way up on the edge
Stay focused on your own two feet
Don't fall off the ledge
Steady now
Let the rain roll
Right off your back
Don't look back
Learn to say no
Let go

How much
does a single tear hold?
How many memories?
Traumas?
Secret tragedies?
In one tear
I could drown in misery
But I let it fall
hope it lands
far away from me
Write it out
put it behind
leave it there
buried in history

I wish there was peace, worldwide peace
I wish everyone always had full tummies
I wish for no war and for happy families
I wish for no rashes or allergies
I wish for human equality
I wish there were no violence or cruelty
I wish that everyone blind could see
I wish for no more sickness and disease
I wish all the deaf could hear you sing
But mostly....
I wish for love between you and me

What's the meaning?
The deeper meaning
The suffering and constant stress
Anxiousness is so confusing
It makes your mind a mess

So why worry about the why
Just remember the Proverbs
When you must cry
And never lean
on your own understanding
Pour out your heart
As you remember to
Never be demanding

Always remembering too
This picture
Is so much bigger
Than just me and you

So never start to worry
About the next day
Cause the next day might be
Just as bad as today

Focus on what's good and true
He clothes the lillies and feeds the birds
What makes you think
He doesn't care about you?

A name is not my aim
I am not looking for fame
I write only for maddness
To remain safely contained
On my page it stays tame
It lets me release
Keeping my brain
From going completely insane

Though you
may wish they do
Opinions do not
change the truth
It does not matter
That you want them to

They do cause doubts
This is true
An opinion game
is very cruel
It causes confliction
Inside of you
Just so you know
This much is true
Your opinions
Will never
Change the truth

Nothing ever hit me quite so hard
And I've been hit
Don't get me wrong,
It's not what you're thinking
or maybe it is
You see that's the thing with me
I never know
And I've finally figured it out
So I let it hit me
For the last time

Empty threats  
Fill up pages
Seems I come to see
Angry ink of
Thoughtlessness

Trust me*
you say, I'm not doing anything wrong
But you decide that you're leaving
without saying you're gone
Going for a ride  
Same place you always go
How am I to trust you when I already know?
She was someone you slept with
Years ago or yesterday
How would I ever know anyway?
So when you say trust you it's no easy thing
I know what you're capable of ...
Oh yes I know
Trust me

Do you remember when we walked together along the sandy beach, sounds of the ocean in the background. I was collecting full seashells from the sand... I remember us. You were carefree; you loved to jog first thing in the morning. I was reluctant but I loved your spirit and oh how I longed for your energy. I envied your love of life, that was something I had never posessed...until I found you. I yearned to live with you in your love of life. I wanted so badly to feel the immense love you felt from every face you greeted and every laugh you caused. You were my life and they took you away from me. I may not deserve life or love or laughter but I am grateful I had your's even if it was for a brief moment and gone too quickly. I will remember.

When the walls are closing
The ceiling, crushing
Finding a way out feels impossible
When the pressure gets intense
What do you do to find relief?
Where do you go?
How do you cope?

Have you ever had
A life without love?
I have
I'll tell you what
There's none of
Attention
Care
Education
Encouragement
Sleep
Sweet dreams
Future
There's plenty of
Fake friends &
Living in depression
While you're always giving
Always there for everyone else
It's not returned
That is what it's like
to live without love
To give without love
To want to end it all

Maybe I can't explain it
How it feels
Like a cool crisp wind
When the dew is on the blades
Fresh in the morning air
It takes your breath
And a shiver comes over you
Pulling tighter the sweater around you
Grasping for warmth
It pierces through the stiches
As if the barrier is too thin
So you move
Jump in place
Going nowhere
Trying to get warm
But there are no walls of protection
From that wind
That morning wind is cold
Cold like ice
Cold like him

I turned around
Found you hiding
You smirked slyly
Ask me to keep my lip zipped
You must've thought me niave
Without the smallest shield
Certainly no breastplate or
Sword of protection
You assumed me a helpless mess!
My only crime,
Assuming you were honest
Honesty was too high a price
For you could not afford the consequence!
After realizing my mistake I found my
Roots so deep
Planted into the richest soil
By a never ending stream
My trunk so thick
No longer can you sway me
I am immoveable
Steadfast
**Planted

Everywhere I look I see vanity
No matter how much I want to avoid it
I turn on my screen & it's staring at me
Every scroll is another one, head full of air with perfect skin. I don't fit in.

Resistence
It's tiring
Like pushing so hard
Against a brick wall
Trying to make it budge
After awhile
I shrug
Then say
I'm so tired

I will try my best
We all have loneliness
We come into this world
A boy or a girl
Alone and unsure
Of what we're looking for

It takes 30 years
Or maybe even longer
To find out just how strong
And what we really are
All the trials and tribulations
Insignificance and liberation
We experience it alone
Though we might have loved ones

Surrounded by people
Who make alone time more bearable
Knowing without them
Nothing would be sharable
We're born alone
We'll die alone
In between
We hope to find someone
Making us feel important