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Renae May 2017
Desperate times call
for desperate measures
At least that's how the saying goes
Or something like
You never know what you can do
until you have nothing left
There's a few more like that
Something about **strength

being the only option
Or being your own best friend
loving yourself first
Understanding and forgiving
younger less wise years
Oh yes and understanding
those desperate tears
And realizing
You're not as desperate as (they)you
thought
Nope, your far stronger than desperate
You've weathered so many storms
You look back and know
No matter what you go through
You can endure it
Rise up my dear
you are so strong
Yes
You're quite the opposite of desperate
Note to self
Renae May 2017
"Be assertive"
I heard back in my teens
I thought to myself
"What does that even mean?"
Assertive like aggressive
Not exactly my idea of class
Assertive like action
Take action like *"step ahead"

Yes that's more the idea
I have in my head
Assertive like "make things happen"
Like "the moment is now"
How will anything be what we want
If we don't know how?
So we assert our imagination
Creativity in peace
Assert persuasion
Messages with ease
If that is the case
Then I will agree
To be assertive then
Is to live out your dreams
Renae Apr 2017
Could you be
For just a moment
Pardon me
I wasn't being facetious
I am serious
Yes
Even though we had a fling
Whatever you call
That thing
Whatever it was that
Threw me for a loop
Commitment was clearly
Not what you wanted to do
How simply wrong
I am utterly confused
One day you want me
The next I feel used
So yes I am serious
I did only want you
But not anymore
Not since you twisted my brain
Didn't even care
Caused my heart so much pain
So yes I am serious
Especially when I say
This can't even be friendship
Starting today
Agape brother
Renae Apr 2017
What's worse to you?
Being ignored or being used?
How about when they're interlaced
Still impossible to choose
Either way you see it
No matter what
You lose
Renae Apr 2017
I guess it's time to close this chapter
Another flop
Another struggle to fix
Another "just forget it"
Life is too hard
When love is all you need
But it feels like a maze
Never to be solved
Never achieved
Like the Rubik's cube
No matter how long you concentrate
No matter the level of your focus
It just doesn't add up
So frustration takes over
Just throw your hands up
Toss it in the waste basket
Try to forget
But there's always
that incomplete feeling
Renae Apr 2017
Tiny hints
So action packed
Thought provoking
Wheels turn
Too fast
Slow that
Relax
Learn that subtlety
Class
Trust the process
Learn the mind
Know a 3 fold cord
Is hard to find
Let it be
That subtlety
Like that
It's unusual
Giving everything
meaning
Renae Mar 2017
The gloom was thick
Everywhere I turned
I could not see the path in front of me
Who is it now?
Where are you?
I call out your name
Into the darkness
The thick grey smoke
You seem to appear
I am taken into daydreams
I think it's clearing
Then I find it's not even true
If you're not the one here
I don't want to open my eyes
I don't want to know who
I don't want anyone
If it isn't you
Then I see you on my screen again
Out of the blue
The smoke clears
My mind feels giddy
Like it's all brand new
Until you leave me alone for days
And I can feel the gloom
Approach me
I crawl into my feelings
And lock everyone out
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