Dad hasn't been the same
since he found out about
                me
His eyes hold a deep sorrow
and the whiskey rarely sees
the cupboard anymore
permanently placed on
his nightstand where
my picture used to be
-
*He blames himself, you know

I miss the way
I layed
draped
across you
in your "cloud bed"
that night. You told me
about your stuffed Simba
toy and how you hid
him under your bed
so he would be close
to your heart.
Then you said,
"I want to keep you there, too"
for the same reason, I think.
And I told you,
"When I was little
I thought my
Mary Jane's
could turn me
into Cinderella."
And you didn't think
it was stupid.
I should have kept you.

I cannot find
solid ground
in you
anymore.

I tried to
write
a poem about you
but instead
I scribbled a
big, orange-ink blob
and I figured
that made
just as much sense.

If you have to be what
you eat I'll just have
those dandelions that
float away when you
blow on them, or a
yard of silk that
flutters in the wind. Just
anything to help me fly.

I asked,
Love may blight your life,
cause the light to fade,
and the days to darken.
A moment’s joy,
a lifetime of pain.
Why do you stay where
only sorrows reside?
He replied,
Because
I love.