we're in the same boat, huh?
they treat us like queens for years
then a baby comes along and now we're need to be adults
we're not allowed to be mad
because they're just a baby
they don't know better
then it stays like that

.
.
.

you really get me, don't you, Pearl?

i'm trying so hard
why can't you see that?

please stop
i've done my best

please
just be proud me
just love me like i am

what did i just say?
does she think im weird?
maybe i should stop talking
i'm too awkward
this is awkward

oh
she's laughing
i'm fine

.
.
.

is she laughing at me?

when i say that im not pretty
i really mean it
i've never actually look in the mirror
and think i look pretty

my lips look too big
my eyes too small
my jaw too soft
my nose just not right

i don't mean to be that girl
i don't mean to fish for compliments
i just want someone to tell me im pretty
so i know what i think is just me

i love both my parents
but i prefer spending time with just my dad

he lets me do what i want
he very rarely says no
he does threaten to beat me for looking at him funny
but we can move past that

my mom says no to nearly everything
she criticizes and nitpicks everything i do
she makes me feel like im constantly in the wrong
it's like i have no freedom when she's around

shows my priorities, huh?
that i'd much rather be beaten then trapped

an•thro•po•pho•bia (n)
the fear of rejection

example: i have about 20 different personalities, none of them my real one, made for different people
i don't really know who i actually am anymore, but if someone were to not like me i might **** myself on the spot

cause: learned behavior

i'm the oldest daughter
that means getting love and validation from my family is transactional

my mother is proud of me
she thinks i'm an amazingly talented person
until my grades drop
now i'm sad

my father loves me
he calls me his twin
until i start acting my age
now im weird

my sister looks up to me
she wants to be just like me
until i try to be myself
now im embarrassing her

my other sister likes to be around me
i'm her best friend
until i stand up to her
now im a bully

i'm the oldest daughter
i'm the greatest person in the world
until i'm not