It's just sitting there.
Everyones watching the steam
Fade from it
Dancing rapidly
Against the backdrop of a dulling cracked blue
Wall.
It's just sitting there.
Sacred and sickening
A communion wafer tainted with
E coli
Most will accept it
Bow their heads
Hide it beneath their
Tongues.
It's just sitting there.
I want all of it.
All of it's
Agonies
Murderous love
Poisonous loneliness.
I want to spit in its face.
I want to rob this ******
From behind
With my thumb and forefinger
Pushing through my sweater pocket
Pressed against its head.
It's just sitting there.
I'm gonna take the whole
******* thing
Before it takes
Me.

One night we
Got wasted
On Citadel Gin
And she decided
To squat
And ****
In the
Cat litter box.
I yelled
"What's your problem?
Your *******
Drunk man!"
She laughed.
Christ...
Give me
Something like that
Again.

I can always hear them in there laughing,talking,living.
There must be
3 of them living in that
Small studio apartment.
Their room always smells of
Incense, pizza,marijuana.
I've seen them in the halls
19 year old latinas.
And where should my love belong now?
It is much too dangerous
For a man of 24 to have read
Sartre,Celine,Hamsun.
Ya know,
I often fantasize
About 35 year old women.
Although I have met a lot of
35 year old women
That don't know
****.
Where should my love belong?
Probably exactly where it is now.
But I hope
Not.

Just knock that
Screaming
Hunk of ****
Off the wall
With a broom.
Rip out the battery.
Hope the landlord doesn't
Knock on your door.
Open another beer.
It's the
Least
Of your troubles
Anyways.

Minimum wage men
With
$200 dollar shoes
And minimum wage women
Expecting $300 bags
From them.
I remember telling my last girlfriend
"WELL...****!... YOU SAID WE WEREN'T GOING TO BUY EACH OTHER ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS! WHY'D YOU BUY ME THIS!!"
she cried
And on the
26th
I bought her a crystal
Necklace on twine
From a Mexican swapmeet
And ice cream
Sandwiches.
I mouth off so much at work
All day
Sometimes
I think I'm
Trying
To get canned.
The higher ups seem
Entertained by it.
I've seen the guys
That sweat
Panic
And dream of sales
Get fired.
While I stand in the bathroom
Writing poems.
I do feel bad about
Not putting effort
Into
IT.
But
I figure...
There are more
Humane traps
Out there.

They sell **** to poor people.
But its OK.
They are poor too.
I love that fiction book section.
I feel like I'm getting one over on them.
Hemingway,$1. Saroyan, $1,The Bronte girls,$1,D.H., $1, Sartre,$3, Camus...25¢...
I walk to the counter
"Your total is...$10."
They feel like they're getting one over on me.
Anyways...
(****...I've been drinking. It makes everything seem
poetic.)
I'm standing in the fiction section.
It's next to the women's bathroom
And it reeks like demon's ****.
I stand staring
Lobotomized.
So many titles
So much ****.
But... you never know...
(****... I was just thinking about the time I made a *** tape at 15...)
I found some more
Hem, Voltaire, Joyce .
I was having an
Ok
Day.
Then I smelled it.
Lavender on fire
In a torched
Green-black forest.
I looked over.
A beautiful blonde
Knelt down
Searching the very bottom row
Of the fiction section.
Christ...
May I combust
Now
And never see another
Sight.
She stood up
And stepped closer to me
Our shoulders touched.
"Sorry" she smiled
Green eyes.
I never notice eyes.
Green eyes.
"That's alright."
...*****...
She stood right next to me
Maybe, 10 minutes.
Say something
You lonely miserable *******...
All that reading you've done
She is browsing at fiction...
Say something, ******!...
Then her friends walked over
"Hey,(sunburntlavendardrippinginnapalm) you ready to go?"
"Hold up..." She exhaled
Say something
You drunkard lonely *******.
She stood up.
Looked at me.
Then left.
Green eyes.
I exhaled
Looked at the bottom shelf.
SHE, was there again...
Carson McCullers.
The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter
With her
"You'll never finish me, Ray." Smirk.
I smirked back.
Took her up to the counter...
$3.

When I was 17
In the garage,
I would chug 40 oz Mickeys
Scream
Then hurl them
At the ******* wall.
The young girls laughed.
I used to stick cigarettes
Up one nostril
Inhale
Chug a beer
Exhale through my mouth.
The young girls
Loved that.
Now
24
Drinking alone
In this ****** studio.
I want to hurl this *******
******* designer beer
At the ******* mirror
But I don't.
Where did your
Passion go
Man?
I sigh.
The mirror laughs.
I laugh.
Then open
Another.