poet
you sit down
smashing the keys
it's all very important,right?
yes, it's all very important
all voices must be heard
all thoughts must be captured
what's another word for...?
i wonder what it'd be like to...?
what was her name...
brushing your hair in the mirror
falling past a thousand thoughts
not seeing that you are completly
gone
to where?
take me to the desert
and set me on fire

see i'm a man from California
i'm not proud of it
...snow...
Waterloo, Iowa
mother with cancer
father a bad drunk
a whole city dying
what a place to try to
save our love
...snow...
it made life seem so
blank
i had to talk behind your back
to the one woman
i shouldn't have
...thousands of miles away...
and you always were a vicious little thing
it was ****
I didn't even see that right hand coming
that open palm fit just right
the first time you ever swung
baby you made my head spin
we were both impressed
i put the car in park
got out, tripping over all that
...******* snow...
how many days does it take
to walk from Iowa to California?
...i hate the snow...

leave the paintings
leave the photos
leave the vinyl albums
...that was a pointless hobby...
leave the love
leave the tooth
leave the journals
...you can read whatever you'd like now...
leave the cats
leave the ***
leave the blood stains
...on the bathroom floor...
grab only the good books
whatevers left of the gin
grab the coffee maker
put your shoes on
i'm ******' outta here

the beauty
the life
the pleasure
the style
the birth
the experience
the flower
the poem
is in the pain
she said "you never have any fun,
you hate everything
your always so pessimistic."
i don't wanna be
honey
i'm just tryin'
to stay alive

i really thought it was love
"i love you...i just can't let people treat me this way baby..."
...i thought i had courage...
she howled
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE MEEEE, I'LL **** MYSELF,I SWEAR,PLEEEEASE!"
we murdered love
"i love you, but..**** baby...you treat me like ****...i have to leave"
i had nowhere to go
i just wanted someone to think i had courage
we hit the gin hard that day, that was our drink
she liked it with ice,lime,tonic
i took it hot and straight
man...she blocked the doorway again
she grabbed the kitchen knife
i really thought it was love
she was on the wall,carpet,all over the door
now we really could see our love
it stained
a meaty hunk of it hung from her arm
love looks like
jelly

I was a sad man
the world was sad
my grandmother gave me a $20 weekly allowance
from some sort of government disability fund
I would walk to the corner of 10th and Walnut and purchase
4 - 40 oz Mickeys, a pack of condoms, and a pack of reds
and met her at the bus stop
some black girls mugged her for some christmas gifts there once...
although it makes me smirk now
being 17 was hard

I stood in the living room
on display, proud
proud of the shame i've become
strong, muscular, beautiful
23, wasted, dying
I watched you frown
I am the rebelious oak
i'll **** this land forever