the first time i told you
those three words
you remained silent.
it was dark
we were in bed
in a foreign country
stealing kisses
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the second time
i told  you
those three words
was shortly
after christmas
in a three-page letter
with reasons why
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the third time
i told you
those three words
was on valentine's
in a tiny book
of poems
i had written
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the fourth time
i told you
those three words
was when
i told you
you were
the most important
person in my life.
you didn't kiss me
then
and i guess
you didn't feel it.

the fifth time
i told you
those three words
was after a fight
when you asked me
why i was still with you
when you made me
cry
every ******* day.
you didn't kiss me
then
and i guess
you didn't feel it.

the sixth time
i told you
those three words
was on a park bench
you were on your
knees
and crying.
you didn't kiss me then
you pushed me away.
you had words of your own
to say.

these were six,
and i guess it's
only fair.
now we're equal.

my six iloveyous
turned out to be
your six
"i have no feelings for you".

every time
you touched me
it meant the world
to me.
interstellar explosions
showers of stardust
the milky way on
my skin
traced by your fingers
and lips
galaxies of emotion
so cosmic
so out of this world

i don't know how to live with the fact
that your hands were all over me
and for you
it would've made no difference
had it been somebody else

or should i say some body else

you're angel dust
and sugar kisses,
you're a work
of art.
you're frosted glass
and rainbow mists,
you're snowflakes
and you're love.
you are your soul,
you are your dreams.
don't let  anyone
tell you
you're any less
than this.

when i met you
we were strangers
two lost souls
drifting together
two lost souls
with a common taste
in loneliness
two lost souls
prone to self-hatred
two lost souls
needing somebody
to love them.

when we were together
i gave you
all the loving
i could
and all the hatred
i felt for myself
i transformed
into the love
i gave to you.

when we were together
i believed you gave me
all you could
with all your
heart
and i believed you
just couldn't use
the right words
to describe your feelings
and i believed
you called it 'care'
because love
was too strong a word
for you.

now i know.
now i know
i fixed you
and you're not as
broken;
you absorbed my love
and used me
to fix yourself
but all the
progress
you'd made
fixing me
turned to nothingness
and star dust
in only six
little words:

1. i
2. have
3. no
4. feelings
5. for
6. you

when you left me
we were strangers
two souls
drifting apart;
when you left me
we were strangers
one more lonely time

i wanna take back all the poems
i wanna take back the ''i love you''s
i wanna take back all the tears
i wanna take back all the troubles.

but then i don't.

you deserved the lines i wrote
you deserved the misused quotes
you deserved my happiness
and you deserved my love

i don't want us to be over.
but you're gone.
so i should swallow
and let you leave
and let you go.

and i shall live
with those last kisses
and your arms around me
and the way you squeezed my face
and made me swear
and i shall live
with the thought
that you cried for me
and i shall live
with the ghost of your touches
and the sense of your lips against my skin.

but i shall live.
and i shall miss you.
but i'll move on
and you'll be over.

i know that you don't love me
i know that i don't matter
but i loved you
and i love you still
and soon i will be better.

if i could
i would
heal every bit of broken soul
inside you
if i could
i would
undo your scars
and make your skin
a perfect canvas
but i can’t
and life’s a terrible painter
who ******* up and ruined
the painting that is you
and all i am capable of
is taking all my watercolours
and fixing your canvas
and painting the rainbow
and making it better
i ****
at painting
but it’s all i can do
i’m pathetic
i’m sorry
but i’ll do
my best to fix you
in my clumsy way.

Breathe me in.
Cover me with kisses.
Take me, I am yours.
Put me back together
when I'm falling apart.

Hold me and heal me,
my soul and my body,
hold me, protect me,
kiss all of my scars.

We are so floating
when I cuddle in,
and I wish you'd
never go

because who's to
glue together
all the scattered
pieces?