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Companions,
They may bark, meow or chirp,
Hiss, squeak or burp,
Pets or friends,
They're still there,
Priceless,
Irreplaceable,
Your companions,
Whatever size or shape,
Are the best,
They have their tough times,
Dogs are always pooping and peeing,
Cats always have furballs,
Birds ****... everywhere,
But,
Dogs always play with you,
Cats are there to let you pet them,
Birds are there to look... good and do tricks,
They may vary in intelligence and grace,
But one thing's for sure,
They're fun and exciting,
To see someone when you go home,
Someone to cry and lean to,
Someone that will always feel what you feel,
They lick you till you're comfortable,
Paw you till you notice them,
Breath at you,
Let you feel their heartbeat,
They have their different ways,
But one thing's for sure,
Their there to love you,
Companions till death,
Some might have shorter life,
But some have longer,
Than you can ever have,
Yet time always passes when they're there,
Love your pets,
Love your friends,
Companions are the best,
And with their presence,
You're sure to have fun.
Intruder. Intrusion. In my personal space.
Violater. Violation. What you took, I cannot replace.
Material. Materialistic. But that that's not the point.
My thoughts. My feeling. Have been shattered open.

Intruder. Violater. You didn't just steal.
You took something from me more valuable.
Than diamonds and rubies and all the queens gold.
Intruder. Violater. You don't know what you hold.                              

Intruder. Violater. You've taken my purge.
Letters and answers and maps to my worth.
Intruder. Violator. You've taken from me.
Memories of where I was, who I am and I am how I came to be.
You've taken my heartache, my sadness and pain
But also the joy and happiness from life I have gained.

Intruder. Violater. Maybe something to sell.
You took my whole world and spun me around.
Material. Materialistic. Harmless. Maybe to you.
I'm shattered and heartbroken and there's nothing I can do.
I wrote this after someone broke into my flat only to steal my laptop. I wasn't so much upset that the laptop was stolen as about what was on the laptop. Years of memories and writing and feelings. Things I held sacred and kept sacred, just taken to be sold.
So I took a sleeping pill.
For hours I lay awake staring at the ceiling,
Thinking of what I've said, done and how things could have been.
Thinking of tomorrow, and how it might be different,
And I lie awake because I don't know if I'm brave enough for it.
I lie awake thinking until my head starts to hurt
From imagining a world where I'm whole and not broke.
I see this world and it's so crystal clear,
But only when I'm lying awake trying to disappear.
And so a took a sleeping pill.

I took a sleeping pill.
And pray to sleep, because when I sleep I get to dream.
But wait, who actually who wants to dream
When the images seen are like that of a birds broken wings?
The bird tries to keep moving but the pain holds it hostage
And my wings, just like that birds, no longer move nor fly.
So rather I analyse all the little things in my head
And I tell myself I won't look any stronger if I'm both asleep and dead.
So I took a sleeping pill.
HOW NOT TO SWEAR WHEN ONE IS SWEARING

After I hit it
with a hammer

my old thumb takes on
a now cartoonish character

pulses and throbs
grows biggerandbiggerANDBIGGER.

My three year old
gasps in astonishment

that an adult would/could
do such a silly silly thing.

"Bold Daddy!" she scolds "Bold Daddy!"

My mind screams in silence but
my tongue longs

to utter in the demotic
a good old fashioned Anglo-Saxon

ffffffffffFFFFFFF...word!

I somehow( don't
ask me how )

gaze into my little one's
baby blues

delete the expletive
carefully in slow motion

substitute the first
thing that pops into the mind

the first( as it happens )
of Mr. Joyce's thunderwords.

None of Eliot's
"  Shantih     shantih     shantih "

I had the presence of mind to
"Finnegans Wake" it!

"BABABADALGHARAGHTAKAMMINARRONNKONNBRONN
TONNERRONNTUONNTHUN­NTROVARRHOUNAWNSKAN
TOOHOOHOORDENENTHURNUK!"



"Funny Daddy!" she chortles "Funny Daddy!"

Now whenever things
go wrong and

they will go wrong
( as sure as words is words )

she begs me
to "...do the thunder!"

Waits for her little
bit part so she can

chime in with her
". . .TOOHOOHOO..."

and I gather her up
in my arms and we

both declaim
as one

". . .THURNUK!"
"bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk" is the first of the ten "thunderwords" in James Joyce's FINNEGANS WAKE. Each is a hundred letters long except for the tenth which is a 100 and one words long!

1 ) (thunder):
Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk

2 ) (thunder):
Perkodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurthrumathunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun

3 ) (clap):
Klikkaklakkaklaskaklopatzklatschabattacreppycrottygraddaghsemmihsammihnouithappluddyappladdypkonpkot

4 ) (*****):
Bladyughfoulmoecklenburgwhurawhorascortastrumpapornanennykocksapastippatappatupperstrippuckputtanach

5 ) Thingcrooklyexineverypasturesixdixlikencehimaroundhersthemaggerbykinkinkankanwithdownmindlookingated

6 ) (shut the door):
Lukkedoerendunandurraskewdylooshoofermoyportertooryzooysphalnabortansporthaokansakroidverjkapakkapuk

7 ) Bothallchoractorschumminaroundgansumuminarumdrumstrumtruminahumptadumpwaultopoofoolooderamaunsturnup

8 ) Pappappapparrassannuaragheallachnatullaghmonganmacmacmacwhackfalltherdebblenonthedubblandaddydoodled

9 ) (cough):
Husstenhasstencaffincoffintussemtossemdamandamnacosaghcusaghhobixhatouxpeswchbechoscashlcarcarcaract

10 ) (Norse gods):
Ullhodturdenweirmudgaardgringnirurdrmolnirfenrirlukkilokkibaugimandodrrerinsurtkrinmgernrackinarockar
i write when i should read
read when    it's not right  
go down  repost rabbit holes
until i lose my sight  
my muse   is in a   tizzy
my body always busy          
i listen to Thin Lizzy
until i lose my mind        
my prayers    just hit
the rafters
my happy ever afters    
are taken by          
the grifters
i relate to     drifters              
I'm really in a  bind          
please forgive my scheming
I feel like i'm    

dreaming

but this silly   rambling    

is

all          
that  

i                      
could        



find            



SøułSurvivør
(C) 6/15/2017
I know I'm erratic.
I really can't help it.
My mind & body aren't
Cooperating  with my spirit.
I find i write
really late at night
Then I'm in a fog
the next day

HELP!
We were born to different mothers,
But still we are spiritual brothers.
And still indifferent to what bothers,
Fire of hatred either of us smothers.

Blood won't seperate the atoms
Of joy that flows through our veins,
Nor will it break a bond that has been
So atomically connected without chains,
Mud squishes between our toes,
My friend is climbing stairs as he goes.

Debunking the myth of racial differences,
Here we go holding each other's hands,
To mother earth we owe the references,
Tune we will to our lives these bands.*

But we remain sat with our feet against the warm fire that reminds us of home,
Muddy worn out shoes that no longer fit let us know just how much we've grown,
Until the next morning when adventure is to be sought and we sit On our throne.
A "Ryan Holden" and "The Lonely Bard" collaborative poem.
She always comes a vision
slips through the window
the window I do not see
yet I know she is here
a vibrant spirit, love, even
the touch of seeing
the seeing of hearing
the hearing in taste
and all of these in scent
her scent, her smell, her spirit.
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