"Borrow the day," she said,
"When your heart has lost itself in midnight."
"Borrow the birds." she said,
"When your soul aches to take flight."
"Borrow the air," she said,
"When the depths of the ocean chokes you."
"And borrow my heart," she said,
"When this world forgets to love you as I do."

Here I am again in my place of solitude.
Here I am confined within four walls and a ceiling.
I look around and it's just me again,
Just me and a room full of white tiles.

Here I am in my tiny space,
Here I am thinking it's a massive room.
My breathing echoes and the shower **** creaks;
As I turn it on letting the water drip.

Here I am turning on the heater at number three,
Here I am with the heat burning through my skin.
Yet my heart is still ice cold and frozen,
And I wait to feel the pain again.

Here I am with the water at full pressure,
Here I am feeling nothing at all.
All it takes is a few minutes,
Until the pressure breaks what feels like glass.

Here I am again with my knees so weak,
Here I am with my wounded feet.
Here I am bleeding from the shards of glass,
The glass that encloses my pained heart.

Here I am again with my head leaned on the tiled wall.
Here I am sitting on the wet bathroom floor.
And while I sit here bare naked,
Tears continually flow down my cheeks.

Here I am staring through empty space,
Here I am thinking about everything.
Hot water sprinkles from the running shower;
And I watch as it forms circles like tiny raindrops on the floor.

Here I am feeling everything too much.
With the sound of water silencing my cry,
I let myself release all the pain once more.
The pain and sadness I keep underneath my joyful facade.

Here I am again catching my breath,
Here I am suffocating from the steam.
I focus on my breathing and turn the heater off,
I let myself forget the pain to try and save myself.

Here I am turning the cold shower off,
Here I am again fresh with my frozen heart.
I put a smile on my face as i walk out of the room,
To face the world again until it's time to change the glass.

My world is speeding up. Everyday it gets closer and closer to some invisible end point. I just don't know what that end point looks like. It's scary. Like racing towards an edge and knowing you can't slow down. My heart speeds up. Kicking me in the lunges as I think about it.
  My schedule is always full. Exhaustion is my lurking roommate. I wake up just as tired as I was when I fell asleep. I want to name this feeling but I can't grasp the right words. So I Google hundreds of them. Hoping. Praying. That I'll find one that settles on my soul. So far? No luck. They all start to blur eventually. The A's and the Q's all look the same. The B's and the R's intertwine. My brain is a scattered mess of failed expectations and words I can't express to my full desire.