Cheek to cheek
Ear to ear
Fake this smile
Hide my fear

Behind a mask
Of non-revealing
Lies a tomb
Of buried feeling

Deep within
A rotten core
The good has died
There is no more

All that's left
Is pain remaining
Hidden by
The joy I'm feigning

Empty, hopeless
Gaping hole
Wretched, worthless
Blackened soul

Longing for
Illumination
Falling for
The Dark's temptation

Mitigate
My need to die
Perpetuate
Contention's lie

Forget my face
End this charade
Remove this guise
I have portrayed

Friendship
Is
Simply
A
Connectivity
Between earth and sky

My dog eared heart
Is a stray paper heart that is worn at the corners
I liked to worn you that it's been used and abused
In many different ways.
Like a monetary paper note it retains its value
But it looks ***** in its present form
It's a reflection of my being
Valued the same but used and carried in many peoples pockets
Sometimes spent, sometimes used for a higher purpose
Never worthless but paper thin and fragile
I'd cash in but I am not that shallow
I want someone to take it and invest in me
To take time to gain my interest
and spend my dividends.

I was young and naive.
I let my heart get deceived.
I bought all the words from your tongue.
Fell for the webs that you spun.

I got caught in your grasp.
Locked in your clasp.
I didn't realize just how far it had gone;
until it had all went wrong.

And isn't that how it always is?
No one ever knows they're stuck until their two feet in...
Until they're already sinking.

I was ignorant.
I didn't see the strike until it was too late.
The knife was already between shoulder blades.
And I was down on my knees begging for mercy.
You had none...

And now I can't believe;
I didn't see your narcissistic qualities.
All the signs that pointed to your cruelty.
How every word you said was meant to destroy me.
But now I can...

And I'm never coming back.
I gave you chance after chance,
to make your amends.
And when you didn't,
I had to forgive it;
and move on...

I walk through the beautiful countryside
I feel the refreshing breeze:
I give God all the glory and honor
As I praise Him on bended knees

I follow the paths that man’s created
Until at some point I see;
There’s more to this world then what meets the eye.
The cross has shown that to me.

I look at the rocks and boulders
And I see how strong they are,
But I stand on a solid foundations
That is so much stronger by far.

Though at times I’m engulfed by the shadows
And it grows darker each minute by sight;
I know I’m not afraid of the shadows
For I know they are cast by the light.

As I walk each path reminds me Lord
To look with spiritual eyes;
Let me show your love and at upon
The needs I realize.

Keep my thoughts upon you Lord
To be encouraging in all I do;
Help me walk humbly to live a righteous life
And to be an example for you.
© 4/25/2015

My life is a constant state of paranoia
The fear of always letting other people down
The fear of never having the love I once had
The fear of never accomplishing anything in life
The fear of never fulfilling my hopes and dreams
The fear of always being second best
The fear of always being compared to others
The fear of never being loved
The fear of being dismissed by the the people I care about