LSD seemed like the one solution
where he could bury all his suffering
throw his pain down into the ocean
forget about the feeling he's battling
so into his throat he pours the potion

He overshadows his fears with this medicine
hoping it would vanish the images he saw
that he could sleep a night without shaking
and the terrible nightmares that his mind had drawn
but still he felt the pain and still, he felt gone

Inside his head there was a storm
where his conciousness battles to survive
where his worst demons are killed and born
and it's always as dark as night
through thought he fights to feel right

Hiding under concrete, 64 stories
his skin so pale for he'd not seen the sun
killing cigarettes and lighting up memories
feeling like he's being juggled by a clown
no destination, spinning around, trembling down

I'm selfish, they're telling I'm taking too much
I'm helpless, trying to speak but I always get hushed
falling down, asking for help but making no sound
living through emptiness six feet under the ground

They offer their condolences, for all of the dreams they had murdered
but the past had passed, what used to be yelled is now murmured
whispers are left to die on the streets, where words are knives
and the never ending lies is what they call their lives

I'm ******, clinging to a piece of thought
and by the urban hunters I am being sought
they hung a picture me, that they had perceived
they tore the skin, and realized they were deceived

Not all who glitter, are happy souls
not all that glitters, is gold
wildfire will **** a forest but never the trees
they will hang until a gust of wind, brings them back their seeds

**** your thoughts and you'll be okay
fake a smile and cooperate
choose your words and stay in your place
and if you move, walk a slow pace
conceal yourself and act invisible
be quite but also incredible
do this and that and this don't do
"we know best, we'll walk you through"

-"how come i don't get to choose?" i said
- because the wild monsters will haunt you dead
- why don't we choose to **** the monsters
instead of killing our true selves?
why do we choose to fix the pouring water instead of fixing the broken glass?

copper walls surround the broken TVs
the left over paper and the forgotten leaves
hues of gold and washed up pink
the blood of rats and spilled ink

it's an old place where snakes hide
and people go missing and monsters hike
the circle under the hole in the ceiling
made a pattern and symbols of meaning

the shapes on the walls made no impact
the place still cried and the walls cracked
around midnight the snakes turn into books
the old library fixes it's crooks
and goes into a dimension where the people would be mentioned
and the snakes no longer are, the left over paper
the words become the monsters that have lived in the circle
and the circle becomes the life that we had wished for

the darkest summer has passed on us
left the curtains hanging on thin air
good will never saved a young child
or never has it covered what was bare
i will fight until the end of time
i have traveled the wormholes of emotion
my throne is made of the darkest nights
and out of my tears i made an ocean
that will drown all of them
and it will crown all of my fears
the beasts that made me
and the longest haunting years

i remember staring up at the ceiling
so far away in another world
that's where i wanted to live
in endless oblivion, hid and hurled
should the stars always be so appealing?
should my insights always be so absurd?
i hid my thoughts and my visions
i burned a book but i kept a word
when the jungle sleeps i sleep
and when the howling wind calms down
hissing snakes never woke me up
miles of atrocities never kept a queen from her crown

remember the cold days
when it was harder to move then to breathe
when the sun went to hiatus and left a Walmart bulb in his place...

remember how we prayed for the winter to come faster
we craved the cold, the clouds, and our clueless selves
do you recall the books that we stacked on our shelves
the lists that we made, the promises that we held

our mirrors changed our reflections
and the missing sun changed our complexions
our old habits found away to slide
we held on to the day, we let go of the night

do you still remember your old self?
your old needy flawed self?
the girl that you left at the basement, scarred
the boy that you abandoned in the field, hurt
how come we never forget?
we never forget the things that drag us down to the dirt
for we saw the light, but we knew the stars wouldn't shine without the dark.

In the bluest rocks of the ocean
lies a swarm of blood & potions
greyish sand and brittle corpses
touched with darkness & deadly curses
for the warmth of the sun they crave
spirits of the souls that lived in the cave
anchor tattoos and dragons that roam
around the sizzling clouds of Rome
series of flowers that choke & ****
and lead you to your death, at the top of the hill
and when your soul travels home
it's stopped and prisoned by the walls of Rome...

the sun said goodbye to the sky
and he went to the angels
told them to take him away
and from his agony, release him
he said he'd lived enough pain
away from his most loved
away from his moon, and her beautiful darkness...

she whispered to the stars about him
and he sent her his rays
she kept him flaming and he kept her shining
stole a few moments to gaze

and when he missed her he pulled her close
and on the world she threw her darkness
he told her stories about our earth
and how his fire burns with sadness

the sun has loved for a thousand years
and the moon, a thousand more
he loved the dark because of her
and for him, she lit with shyness

who knew their love was the source of light, the source of dark, the source of pain
who knew the moon declared her death and the sun had lost his flame...

i went to paradise and i came back
and when i opened my eyes everything was blank
there lied the trees, the buildings, the ground
but all i saw was a ***** hound

the ***** hound, then i followed,
turned to a man with eyes so hollowed
the man had horns the color of the sky
that i could swear, went out of sight

i turned back but back was forth
and when i turned the earth was torn
and from it emerged a mighty snake
with eyes of gold and skin so flaked

it whispered my name and i went deaf
and everything i touched went hard and stiff
with blood and dust and stars it glared
hours passed and i still stared...

now every moon had cried an ocean
and into her eyes they fled with motion
who knew my beasts were so splendid
with ecstasy my pain was blended

father of the crown came out to me
and held my arms so close to thee
so close to fire, so close to greed
that i, indeed, was close to cede

now i gave up but not my will
i stopped the fight but fight i will
miles passed and i walked an hour
then my reality bloomed as a flower

my paradise rose out my eyes
and ask you may what was inside?
there was the wind that thou had spared
and all the thoughts that i had shared

my beasts stood still, at my command
though, for them i shall, not spare a hand

there's a lot of wrong
and too little right
there's a lot of saying
i can't make it tonight

there's the unending amends i made
thinking some day my soul will heal
but nothing solved, that trade i made
and nothing of my wounds did it conceal

and then came in the days of cold
the days of blades, the days of spears
and in my head i had it told
the tales of grieve, the tales of tears

and i had wandered in my head
searching for the end of my tome
probing for a single thread
so i can hold to take me home

for all that time that i had declared
to be the ending of my sorrow
had been a flare and i had dared
to ask what happens in my tomorrow

and for that question there was no answer
for i had the hands and i had the mind
and they told me that i can make my fate
with determination but where to find

tomorrow i will hold the wind
and on my dreams i will ride
and if they fail me i'll find a hint
and i will mount another tide

and i will take the hand of anguish
and i will place it wherever bothered