He was an exceptional actor but now he's gone.
The man who I'm speaking of was Robert Vaughn.
Vaughn starred in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and twice on Columbo.
He starred in Escape From Witch Mountain and The Towering Inferno.
He guest starred in Hotel, The Magnificent Seven and The Love Boat.
He made a few appearances on The A-Team and ******, She Wrote.
Millions of people are sad because Vaughn is dead.
It is terrible to lose an actor who was so talented.
I became his fan over thirty years ago when I watched Superman III.
He was a legend and when I learned about his death, I was not pleased.

Your last name said it all, you were the best.
Because of you, the entire world was blessed.
You have left this world at the age of eighty-eight.
Your life is something that we should all celebrate.

For six years you dazzled us as Rosco P. Coltrane.
You died but your reruns will continue to entertain.
You starred in a few episodes of Bonanza and twice on the Andy Griffith Show.
You entertained us for several decades and all of your fans hated to see you go.

Talent should've been your middle name.
It's not surprising that you found fame.
You starred in a Twilight Zone episode and in Firecreek.
You will never be forgotten because you were unique.

When I learned about his death, it was hard to believe.
An actor died twenty years ago today on Christmas Eve.
Sadly, he died at the young age of twenty-six.
He starred in The Supernaturals, A Smoky Mountain Christmas and other flicks.

He starred in The Dukes of Hazzard and Magnum P.I. as well.
He tried to beat Colon Cancer but sadly, he was destined to fail.
When a person dies on Christmas Eve, it's a shame.
He was a talented actor and Chad Sheets was his name.

I have a great friend and his name is Danny Carpenter.
He's a very nice man and he's going to Heaven for sure.
He bends over backwards to help his fellow man.
He helps me and other people as much as he can.
The way that a few people have treated him was so unfair.
But that doesn't stop him from being a good friend who cares.
Even though those people did him wrong, he continues to help others.
Danny and I aren't related but in my eyes, he's like a brother.

It was very sad when your life came to an end.
You weren't just a cat, you were also my friend.
You became my cat after you were born in 2002.
You were good to me and I was good to you.
You were black, white and gray.
I miss you because you passed away.
You made me feel better whenever I got upset.
You were my big buddy and you were a great pet.
You were very pretty and friendly too.
It was a privilege to have owned you.

Certain people believe Sean Connery was the best James Bond and they're right.
He also starred in "The Hunt For Red October", "The Presidio" and "First Knight".
When he died on Halloween, his family and fans were sure to grieve.
He gave a wonderful performance in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".
In 1958, he starred in "Another Time, Another Place".
When he died, it was hard for his friends and family to face.
When we lost such a talented actor, it was a shame.
Talent should've been Sean Connery's middle name.

When I went to Las Vegas, I lost all of my money and I also lost my wife's entire life savings.
I have no hair left on my body because she grabbed my electric razor and started shaving.
I told her to calm down and that she should be forgiving.
That really ****** her off and I'm lucky to still be living.
She said she was forgiving, she was for giving me a swift beating.
My jaw is wired shut and the doctor told me to forget about eating.
For only twenty-four hours, the Golden Corral was giving everybody a free buffet.
But I can't even eat one morsel of food, so I had to turn it down, I've seen better days.
My wife is so ferocious that if she was a dinosaur, she would be a T-Rex.
I learned something as she kicked my ***, she's not the weaker ***.
Her life savings came to a total of ninety grand.
She was my supervisor at work and I was canned.
She's so furious because of what I did that she's thinking about getting a divorce.
She sold my car to get some of her money back and I'm using a buggy and a horse.
I'm scared because of the angry and violent way that she has been behaving.
You'd better listen when I tell you not to gamble away your spouse's life savings.

While Jesus was on Earth, one thing that he taught people was his father's name.
He told people to call his father Jehovah, that is what Jesus proclaimed.
God's name is seldom used now, I've only seen it in The King James Bible once.
People have neglected to call God by his true name in Jesus's absence.
Jesus knew that knowing God's name is important and that is what he taught.
Jesus was the greatest Human Being who ever lived and I love him a lot.

Your wife isn't carrying your baby, she's carrying mine.
She wanted me to marry her but I had to decline.
She didn't want tongues to wag about her being an ***** mother.
She was afraid of people's reactions, that's why she married you after becoming your lover.
She pushed her mother down the stairs because she's very mean.
She posted naked pictures of me on Facebook, she's also obscene.
I'd had enough of her cruel behavior and I decided to dump her then and there.
When I learned she told you that you're the father, I had to tell you because it's unfair.
I can't let her do this to you, I can't and won't keep quiet.
You may not believe me and you may even want to fight.
When the baby is born, I'll tell you what you must do and it will be for the best.
You can prove that she's pulling the wool over your eyes with a DNA test.
I will gladly give her money for child support because it's my baby.
And when I tell you that you must have your marriage annulled, I don't mean maybe.

Even though you complain because you have thirteen kids to feed,
You don't agree that a vasectomy is what you need.
You won't let a doctor get anywhere near your testicles to give you a snip.
You can't stop breeding like rabbits because you can't keep your pants zipped.
You could use condoms but you won't do that either.
You can't keep your hands off your wife long enough to take a breather.
Now you've learned that your wife is pregnant again.
And what makes it worse is that she's going to have twins.

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran off with my spouse.
That fatso stole everything that I had.
I was shocked because Santa went bad.
All that he gave me for Christmas was the finger and some coal.
I decided to get even this morning when I went to the North Pole.
I gave his reindeers liquor and got them drunk.
When Santa started flying, his ship was sunk.
His reindeers crashed and Santa has a lot of broken bones.
And to add insult to injury, I pelted the punk with stones.
Now Santa is in the hospital in a body cast.
I got even for what he did one year in the past.

My son asked for a video game console and I ended up being sorry.
I went Christmas shopping at a flea market and bought him an Atari.
When he unwrapped the Atari 5200 on Christmas morning, he had a fit.
He has blessed me out before but this is the only time that I've been hit.

He took a sledgehammer to his gift that he hated.
It was over thirty-five years old, it was outdated.
He called me stupid because I bought him a console that is 8-bit.
He said he wanted a PS4 or XBOX One and then he threw his fit.

I had all of his BS that I could stand so I put him over my knee.
His **** is black and blue because of the way he treated me.
I gave him a good spanking because he crossed the line.
Because of that Atari 5200, I put blisters where the sun doesn't shine.

In the future paradise, all wild animals will be as tame as kittens.
Children will play with poisonous snakes without fear of being bitten.
We will be able to build our own houses and grow our own food.
Everybody will be friendly to each other, nobody will be crude.

Animals won't attack each other, they will no longer be carnivores.
This and other wonderful things are what the future will have in store.
Jehovah God will give us our hearts desire, nothing will be begrudged.
But people who refuse to worship and obey God, won't live in the paradise, instead, they will be harshly judged.

Jack Schwartzman had one daughter and three sons.
This producer died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 61.
Sadly, he lost his life thirty years ago today.
His family mourned when he passed away.
He produced "Lionheart" and "Never Say Never Again".
He also produced "Bed & Breakfast" and "Cold Heaven".
His family and friends know that he died too soon.
He died thirty years ago in 1994 on the 15th of June.

Every person on the Simpsons is sick and they will die.
They're suffering from Jaundice, that's the reason why.
Every fan of the Simpsons will have to nurse a broken heart.
They can say goodbye to Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart.
I'm the bearer of bad news but I'm not trying to be mean.
The people of Springfield have the worst cases of Jaundice that has ever been seen.
I give all of them just six months to live, nine months at the most.
They will die from Jaundice, that's what the doctors have diagnosed.
People will be happy to be rid of Sideshow Bob and MR. Burns as well.
Because of the strangelings Bart has received, Homer will go to Hell.
Everybody in Springfield is very upset because they're going to die.
After being on TV for over 30 years, they can kiss their butts goodbye.

We need spiritual food just as much as physical food.
Jehovah can lift your spirits when you're in a bad mood.
Just ask him to give you faith and to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
Jehovah is listening, if you pray to him about it, he will hear it.
You can receive spiritual food if it's something that you seek.
I receive it by praying and going to church twice a week.
So remember this when you're angry, worried or depressed.
Turning to Jehovah is the way for you to receive true happiness.

I didn't expect my black Cocker Spaniel to die.
He died 30 years ago today on the 14th of July.
He was born in 1981 and Poochie was his name.
He was killed by a car and it was a **** shame.
Poochie was unfriendly at times and sometimes he would bite.
But he was my dog and when that car killed him, it wasn't right.
It was sad because my dog couldn't live anymore.
He died thirty years ago on July the 14th of 1994.

God is there for us and he'll never forsake us.
He will be there until the days that he takes us.
He'll continue to be there for us when we're in Heaven.
He sent his only begotten son to save men and women.
You may think that God has forsaken you but that's not true.
God will always love all of us and we need to love him too.
God will never forsake us and when things are bad, he will be there.
Through thick and thin, God will be there because he truly does care.

Jehovah God gives people gifts, my gift is the ability to write.
When we think about what God does for us, it causes delight.
Albert Einstein wouldn't have been a genius without God's contribution.
Without Gods gift, he never would've known that E Equals MC Squared, he wouldn't have found the solution.
God gives a gift to each of us.
He does it because he loves us.
Some people may not believe what I'm saying but it's true.
I have two words to say to The Lord for my gift, "Thank You".

Everybody needs God as much as they need air.
Have faith in the Lord and he'll always be there.
A church ran out of food that it gives to the poor so that they can survive.
The Preacher told God about the dilemma and a truck full of food arrived.
God is wonderful and he works in mysterious ways.
He will always be there for us, he'll never go away.

Satan is working extra hard and he's coming after me and you.
We must resist his evil temptations, that is what we must do.
When Lucifer makes people do us wrong, it's best to forgive them.
Satan will soon be defeated and he wants to take many people with him.
If you're greedy, dishonest, abusive or a drug addict, Satan has corrupted you.
Now is the time to reject Satan's ways and turn to God and that is certainly true.
When The Devil is on your back, tell that evil creature to get out of your face.
You can resist him and live in paradise with other members of the Human Race.

We should thank the Lord Jehovah for the time that we've got.
You may live to be a hundred but then again, you may not.
I've seen people die at the young age of forty-five.
If I'm that unlucky, in just one year from now, I'll no longer be alive.
Some people die even younger than that, we never know when we will go.
If you wonder if minor annoyances should get you down, the answer is no.
Each day that we have is so precious and it's what everybody should appreciate.
Treasure your family and friends because every day you have with them is great.

Four years ago was the best Christmas that I've ever had.
I was able to spend the final Christmas with Mom and Dad.
It was Mom and Dad's last Christmas, they wouldn't have another.
I knew that Dad would die but I didn't expect to lose my mother.
After losing Mom and Dad, I had to get used to spending Christmas alone.
When Christmas Day of 2013 arrived, I had to tolerate being on my own.
Next Christmas you may be on your own like me but hopefully you will not.
Family is the best Christmas present so appreciate the family you've got.

Even though my wife is somebody who I love and adore,
She decided not to let me touch or see her ***** anymore.
Every time I wanted to see or caress them, she said  no and I would cry.
She wouldn't let me anywhere near them and she told me the reason why.
She said that  I couldn't see or touch them because I'm poor.
She said that I could see and touch them if I got rich but not before.
But I've always been so poor that I'm destitute.
Last month, I decided to rob a bank to get the loot.
I was caught by the cops after they shot me in the ****.
I knew  that I would go to jail, I knew that I was licked.
After a doctor examined  me, he said that I can no longer father children and I'm depressed.
I'm sterile and I'll be spending many years in prison because of my wife's *******.

My life would be so much better if you hadn't become sick and died.
You were a wonderful person because love was what you supplied.
My life would be so much better if you had gotten well.
But you died in the hospital and life became pure hell.
My life would be so much better if you were still around.
I wish I could still hear your voice because it was such a beautiful sound.

We've lost a talented actor who was named David Warner.
His friends, family and fans have become his mourners.
Warner's life ended and millions were devastated when they heard the bad news.
In 1991, he starred in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze".
When he guest-starred on "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman", he portrayed Jor-El.
He starred in "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier" and "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" as well.
In 1984, he starred in "A Christmas Carol" as Bob Cratchit.
He also starred in "The Man With Two Brains" and "Time Bandits".
We've lost a man who was both talented and clever.
He died at the age of eighty and he's gone forever.

You are an atheist and you say that religion is a fraud.
You say that I'm full of crap because I believe in God.
You say that God is fake and that he didn't create the Human Race.
But when the Second Coming arrives, you will have egg on your face.
You say The Bible is a book that is full of fictional stories.
But when Jesus returns, you will see him in all of his glory.
You call me a fool because religion is something that I embrace.
But you will be the one who looks foolish, you will have egg on your face.

You broke my heart when you stole and used my bride.
She ran off with you and I'm going to take it out of your hide.
I'm going to knock out your teeth when I give you a beating.
You will have to gum your food to be able to continue eating.
You soon dumped my wife because to you, she was just a *******.
I just punched you in the face and it gives me pleasure to see you fall.
You just got up off the floor but I just knocked you down again.
My wife meant nothing to you, you give a bad name to men.
You told her that you loved her but you lied.
She was so upset that she committed suicide.
Convincing her to leave me was mean but using her was meaner.
I just pulled out my 44 Magnum pistol and blew off your wiener.
I can't let you continue to be a ****, I can't allow that at all.
I have made sure that my late wife will be your last *******.

He was a great actor but now he's gone.
He starred in seven movies as James Bond.
Connery was awesome in every role that he played.
He gave a terrific performance in "Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade".

His first Bond movie was "Dr. No".
His death was a devastating blow.
He was born in Scotland and died in the Bahamas on Halloween.
Sean Connery was one of the greatest actors that we've ever seen.

Your life was in peril nineteen years ago when you died of a heart attack.
You've been dead for many years and sadly, you will not be coming back.
You starred as the third Doctor in Doctor Who.
That TV show became much better because of you.
You starred as the Doctor from 1970 to 1974.
People were sad when you quit because you wouldn't be the Doctor anymore.
When I ordered a Doctor Who episode that you starred in, you were still alive.
But when I received it ten days later, people were sad because you didn't survive.
Besides being the Doctor, you had many other acting roles during your fabulous career.
You haven't been forgotten even though you've been dead for nearly twenty years.

Mom thought I would be a girl back in 1971.
She was surprised to learn that I was a son.
She was surprised but she wasn't disappointed in the least.
We were very close until the day when she became deceased.
When I was in Mom's womb, she thought I would be a girl instead of a boy.
But she didn't care, just knowing that I was a healthy baby brought her joy.

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out of you.
Don't try to get out of paying again, I don't want to hear an excuse.
Stop trying to get pity by saying you were a victim of ****** abuse.
I want my money, I don't want to hear excuses or lies.
When it comes to giving me an excuse, don't even try.
Do I get my money or do you get a beating?
Pay me or my fists are what you'll be eating.
You just insulted me, you said that I'm so fat that I look like the Goodyear Blimp.
I just punched you in the face and you've started crying because you're a wimp.
Stop blubbering like a two year old, be mature like an adult.
And I will permanently disable you if you hurl anymore insults.
I'd like to avoid sending you to the emergency room and myself to jail.
Just gimme my **** money, I'm getting tired of having to raise hell.

God is with me everyday, he's with me everywhere I go.
If people wonder if he will abandon me, the answer is no.
God is with me when I'm at my house, at the lake and even at Walmart.
Everywhere I go, I carry God in my heart.
God has been with me since I was born in August of 1971.
I thank the Lord for all of the good things that he has done.

The fruit that Adam and Eve ate may not have been apples, it could've been oranges, bananas, peaches or pears.
Many people assume that it was apples but none of us know because we weren't there.
Adam and Eve were stupid, they chose to obey a serpent instead of The Lord.
Their punishment was banishment and losing eternal life, they lost their reward.
But whatever fruit it was, when Adam and Eve ate it, it became the world's first sin.
Adam and Eve's stupidity caused all of us to pay the price, it causes our lives to end.

You died half a year ago tonight and I had to say goodbye.
It was six months ago when I watched you die.
It's never easy when a man loses a dog as special as you.
If somebody says that you were awesome, it will be true.
You were in the living room with me when I watched you take your final breath.
When I had to watch you die, it was extremely painful to have to face your death.
You had chocolate brown fur and you're a dog who I'll never forget.
You died on a Saturday night and when you died, I lost a great pet.

My nephew is making me play a different version of hide and seek.
This version involves a gun, if he finds me, things will become bleak.
In this version, if a player is found, he is killed.
I'm scared out of my wits, I'm sure not thrilled.

He said if I didn't play the game, he'd **** me on the spot.
He's trying to find where I'm hid but I hope he can not.
He is a twisted and totally evil child.
His parents have never disciplined him and he's running wild.

My nephew just found and shot me, I have a bullet in my chest.
My life is flashing before my eyes and soon I'll be laid to rest.
My wife and kids will be devastated when they learn that I bought the farm.
This evil little child needs to be killed or locked up before he can do more harm.

On November the 6th, I voted against Phil Bredesen.
Yesterday, I was pleased to learn that he didn't win.
I also voted against Bredesen once before.
Back in 2006, when he was Tennessee's Governor.
This time he was running to be Tennessee's Senator.
I didn't like how he did his job when he was Governor.
Now he's licking his wounds because he didn't win.
Many of Tennessee's residents voted against Bredesen.

Fall is my second favorite season of the year.
I love the Autumn as much as people love beer.
The leaves will change color and fall from the trees.
When it comes to the Autumn, it is sure to please.
Fall is a season that I really appreciate.
I love the Autumn because it's great.

A taxi driver charged me fifty bucks for a short trip.
And then the S.O.B. had the nerve to ask for a tip.
When I said no, he started giving me lip.
I pulled him out of his taxi and broke his hip.
With his expensive fares, he robs people blind.
When he asked for a tip, he was out of his mind.
I punched that sorry punk over and over again.
He tried to fight back by kicking me in the shin.
But I didn't even feel it and I certainly didn't care.
When I was done, he had to but a wheelchair.
When he overcharged me and asked for a tip, it was a stupid thing to do.
If you're a taxi driver who does the same, I'll find you and kick your *** too.

I'm thankful because Jehovah God is the most important part of my life.
I'm thankful to have two new friends, Jason Laster and Stephanie, his wife.
I'm also thankful to have my other friends and my brother.
God is always thankful when people are kind to one another.

It was two decades ago today when an actor took his final breath.
When he starred in Doctor Who, he starred in "The Robots of Death".
His name was Russell Hunter and he was born in February of 1925.
Next year would've been his 100th birthday if he had survived.
Hunter starred in nineteen episodes of "The Gaffer" and one episode of "Born and Bred".
People in England were sad twenty years ago today because they learned he was dead.
In 1976, he starred in one episode of "Play From A".
He also starred in "Daddy's Girl" and "Up Pompeii".
Hunter starred in "The Cockleshell Heroes" and one episode of "The Bill".
When it comes to forgetting him, the good people of England never will.

Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
Chun Li studied Martial Arts for several years and she sure does know how to fight.
And if you have any drugs, she'll steal them because she likes to get higher than a kite.

Ask not what God can do for you, ask what you can do for God.
If you do something that will please The Lord, Angels will applaud.
Give somebody a Bible or take them to church with you.
If you introduce somebody to God, it's a good thing to do.

You can give God a gift by just obeying his Ten Commandments.
Pleasing The Lord is what we should be doing, it truly makes sense.
Offer to help clean your church or give them donations.
If you please God, he'll be happy, that's no exaggeration.

Robert Vaughn's demise is something that billions of people deplore.
If he had lived just eleven days longer, he would've turned eighty-four.
Vaughn had the ability to make movies and TV shows enjoyable.
When we lost this great man, it was like losing a precious jewel.
When we watched him on the small and the big screen, it was always sure to please.
During his later years, he continued to act and he did commercials for attorneys.
If you visit Hollywood, you can see Vaughn's star on the Walk of Fame.
Because of his death, television and movies will never again be the same.

You died and it's something that I don't like to remember.
You won't be with me again on the 25th of December.
Nine Christmases ago was the last Christmas that I spent with you.
When it comes to your death, I wish I could say that it isn't true.
You were the most unselfish person I've ever known, you loved to share.
You wanted me to be happy and it was wonderful to know how much you cared.
You gave giant print Bibles to people while you lived.
You were so very special because you loved to give.
It's very sad because we can't be together on Christmas ever again.
Merry Christmas, Mom, you must be having a ball up there in Heaven.

He brought laughter and he was important to many.
He died 50 years ago and his name was Jack Benny.
Mel Blanc appeared quite often on Jack's show.
At the age of eighty, it was Benny's time to go.
If Jack had died one day earlier, he would've died on Christmas Day.
He was a very talented individual who died half a century ago today.
Jack was an actor and it's an actor's job to pretend.
He went into a coma before he died and it was sad because it was the end.

Saint Agnes is what my mother should be called.
When she died, I was both saddened and appalled.
I admire women homemakers more than women who work because Mom was a homemaker.
I was devastated on March the 6th of 2013 because my poor mother needed an undertaker.

Mom wasn't actually a saint but she was as close as a person could get.
You would've been very happy and fortunate if you and Mom had met.
She was a wonderful mother and that's something I'm proud to confess.
She was one in a million and she should be called Saint Agnes.

I've been shot and my life is about to end.
I took a bullet to save my wife from her ex-boyfriend.
He regards her as a piece of his property.
What he intended to happen to her, happened to me.
The cops just arrested him and took him away.
He's a violent and crazy man and now he will pay.
I love my wife more than life itself and without her, I wouldn't have wanted to go on.
I don't regret taking the bullet for her even though I'll soon be gone.
She's holding my hand and she's crying.
It's tearing her apart because I'm dying.
Everything is getting dark and I feel so cold, I can hear the angels calling on me.
I regret that I'm going to lose the love of my life but one day she and I will be together for eternity.

I killed a man just to get in the newspapers and on the Six O'Clock news.
I wanted to get noticed even though my freedom was something I'd lose.
I did it just for the publicity.
I wanted people to notice me.
Because of what I did, millions of people are outraged.
It sure did feel good to see my face on the front page.
Now I'm being tried and I'm facing jail.
That idiotic judge actually let me out on bail.
Killing that man was wrong but I'm not one bit sorry for what I've done.
But I am sorry because the victim's dad is going to **** me with his gun.

One year ago tonight, I had to watch as your life came to an end.
It was sad to witness your demise and I felt so much pain within.
You died in 2023 on the 9th of December.
You'll be a dog who I'll always remember.
When I saw you die, it was sad to know that you would have no tomorrow.
Each and every person who has lost a dog can understand my sorrow.
Last year, you didn't live long enough to see Christmas arrive.
Rest In Peace, Hazel, I certainly am sorry that you didn't survive.