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58 · Jan 11
aspect
Alex Yao Jan 11
I am that black hole.

For others,
I wore that mask.
For you,
I thought could
shed for but a moment.


Then the door flung wide.
You fled,
and the void inside
became my whole
Instead
Alex Yao Feb 15
The fall of civilization?
It's worse than ever.
The president's a predator.
Severing the center
of all faith's endeavor.

In the political theater,
is there none left to deter
the destructive fervor
of he who eats forever,
and the treasury deleter?

Can we possibly endure
the elusive obscurer
who denies the blur,
that all sides incur
when their lies inure
in the mind of the voterrrr?

Prrrrrobably not.

The new-normal is "Hypernormalization,"
of which
few things rhyme,
but,
given time,
we're certain to accept,
the only "truth" there is,
is what the president says.
56 · Jan 8
dance in brightness
Alex Yao Jan 8
I will dance in brightness.
Though diffused and overcast,
With scattered rays I fight this
Shadow from my past.
52 · Jan 14
Procrastinator
Alex Yao Jan 14
I do. I do.
I do care.

Though not-doing
is the guilt I bare

My inaction leads
to things undone.

The shame I feel
for things un-won.

Can I be
as I'm perceived?
(The face they see.)

For once, just let me—
please.
52 · Feb 7
three raisins
Alex Yao Feb 7
This morn,
instead of nails,
I added to my
breakfast gruel,
three raisins.

Their sweetness,
I'd enjoy,
were my mouth
not full,
of lacerations.
Alex Yao Jan 14
Reward system's been ******.
Once we had too much.
Now, not enough.
We're gonna need a hard reset.
Definitely not looking forward to that.
44 · Jan 7
Starting over.
Alex Yao Jan 7
My anxiety is furrowed
Too cowardly to stray from the neural trenches I have dug
Dopamine, what have you done!?


Emptiness...
There's nothing like that non-existent void I've never seen.

I'll never be the man I've never--been.

Brain, what am I now?

Sparks. Noise. Entropy.
An engine burning. Dying. Disrepaired.
But a flame still wants to dream!

Emptiness?!
Maybe it's not for me!
Forget who you are or should be!
Be. Be. Be. Be. Be. Be Be be
43 · Aug 13
feed the animals
Alex Yao Aug 13
Like the sick ox who strays from the herd,
I shall feed a brave lion.

'Neath the savannah sun
the beings of the earth
shall make a home
of my excavated cavities.

In time I will rain back down
and fill my tiny drop in the sea.

Little fishes will swim in me.

O mammalian sisters and brothers,
hermaphrodites and all the others,
as you will, take part of me.

Was it mine to give, this energy?

One cannot call a purpose wasted if,
in eventuality...

Upon me, all life shall feed.
43 · Apr 18
some joy, he says
Alex Yao Apr 18
A friend says it, then.
All I see is escapism.
As fast as legs can carry him.
He is what he's fleeing from.

Inner peace?
Certainty?
"What will be will be?"
Make a trope of tragedy.

Hope dies.  
I live.
All I've ever been.
Illusion keeping on.

Delusion keeping on.

Reality made me
and everything I want to see,
I want to see.
37 · Jan 9
Just fine today
Alex Yao Jan 9
I'm not doing too good today.
I've been around for far too long,

just taking my time, doing nothing at all.
Watching the sun and the moon revolve.

I don’t wanna look where I don’t wanna go,
so I stand at the window, looking in my own home.

There’s my brains on the wall, and the floor.
Scoop em on up and I'll try once more.

I’m doing just fine today—
I got my new medication.

Sunshine singing on the birds in the rain,
sunshine calling my name.
an old song
32 · Jul 24
blank
Alex Yao Jul 24
It's hard to feel these days
like the world's okay
with letting you live
without being one of them.
half-breed, cultureless mongrel
with no history to cling to.
who the hell are you?
how do you identify?
"Human Being"
(if that's even a thing)
Like there's some global anatomy
or a certain way to be
One of a hive,
or autonomous drone
with no family no home.
Let's strip everything away
and tabula rasa all over the place.
26 · Jan 11
iii
Alex Yao Jan 11
iii
We do not heed the call.
Would we even hear the trumpets blare?
It's happening right now.
It escalates on every front.
Illusion is our dissolution.
24 · Jul 23
realism
Alex Yao Jul 23
each day it passes by
at six forty five

At first I woke from its growling intent
A cough, a sputter, a resonant hum
A vibration thrumming in the hollow walls of this wooden cave I share with them.

Now I rise before it comes.
Though in years I have not heard the sound,
the anticipation propels my receptors
to action.

It will be today.

— The End —