When Tina is around
And Krystal is too easily found
I stop saying the prayer of serenity,
And even my own identity.
I've lost days and weeks.
Even lost people to whom I used to speak
They can't accept me for me,
Or just let me be.
I'm a person of two.
I wish it was that simple.
You'd understand where I'm coming from
If you'd been where I'm at.
I don't wish that upon you,
That would be a sin.
That ***** is evil,
To all of the people,
She affects everyone,
From child to Grandmother
In one way or another.

Rachel Scott

I'm scared,
Of nothing,
And everything!!
Afraid to love,
Or be loved.
Terrified of acceptance,
And horrified of rejection.
I act strong,
Like I'm in control of me.
But fear drives the person you see.
Happiness,
Just out of reach,
Because of one of the biggest words ever invented...
With the most minutest significance intended.
But it scares the hell out of me.
Afraid of nothing,
Ready to face her,
Running from my self,
Racing death.

Hold me close,
Whisper in my ear.
Tell me everything you'd love to hear.
I need you!
Well,
Not you but it seems,
That no one else will do.
I want to feel!!
To love and be loved.
Once,
Not so very long ago,
I knew what it meant to be real.
The love I have for my daughter,
The only love I want to feel.
Choosing to love,
And learning to heal.
Letting go of the past,
Yesterday is gone,
Tomorrow is not here,
So take  the present,
And hold it dear.

Rachel Scott

I saw myself starting to fall,
Again!
But reality took hold,
Before my love started to grow.
I saw thru your undeserved attention.
How many times,
Did you hold me in your arms,
Using my body,
Only to fill the space?

Rachel Scott

Nothing is as it seems.
Seeing things you can't believe.
Dodging shadows,
For days,
Even weeks.
Time to decide,
Do you run and hide?
Or invite them inside?
A lady?
A mistress?
NO!!!
A killer,
A *****!
Before you realize it,
She's taken over your life,
But wait...
Wait...
Wait...
She wants more.
Heart, body, mind and soul.
****** sale today,
And it all must go.
No refunds or returns.
My concern,
My daughter thinks I forgot she exists,
But she's the only reason for my life to persist.

Rachel Scott

I'm afraid of life,
Of feeling,
Of loving,
Or needing ,
Anyone for anything.
Faith is not something I  possess,
Too many times it's been put to the test,
It's just not there.
I hide from a person,
I must face everyday,
Because ignoring her,
Won't make my shadow go away.
Slowly I'm committing homicide,
Killing that innocent, loving caring creature,
That once upon a time,
Well,
She was me.
A monster remains in my place.
You'll never see my true face,
For I wear a mask,
A thousand masks,
Masks that I'm afraid to take off,
And none of them are me.
I pretend that I'm in control.
That no one but me is the captain of this boat.
But the truth is...
I'm scared, fragile and broken.
The reality is...
With out you I'll surely drown,
And in a lake of despair,
My soul will be found.
She could be my only chance at salvation.
Standing between me and damnation.
Maybe this doesn't seem fair to unknowing eyes,
But my baby is saving me from what is sure to be my demise.


Rachel Scott

I want more than I am,
To forget what I can.
I keep running from my past,
But it's catching up and fast.
I hurt the ones I love the most,
It's not something that I'm proud of,
I'm not trying to boast.
I fight a demon everyday,
An evil only I can see.
I pray for god to keep her at bay,
Sometimes it works,
But I'm afraid mostly she's in my soul to stay.
Holding my hand,
She's always by my side,
My best friend,
My worst enemy,
But always down for the ride.
I  HATE,
That I LOVE ,
THAT *****!!!

Rachel Scott