I  put myself out there
praying for acceptance.
I thought wasting myself, was just apart of life.
And losing your respect
never felt so different.
Found that I was just a body and never a mind.

The way I started to feel
left me in this distance.
Thought this couldn't be real, em I the only one?
Couldn't wait until
my pride gave up resistance
leaving me thoughts to ****, using the bottle like a gun.

But this time i'm not falling under the wave again
crawling in the sand
I will face who I really am.

When I come home tonight
It wont be like the first time
letting days pass by, thinking I'm the only one
because
filth
will
not
claim me
and
guilt
will
not
shame me
Even though fear is real, its not all we have to feel
I may be a little light
but before this world, I'll shine bright.

Corpses rot in envy
of how my bones hold no regret
my body still filthy
my clothes, soaking wet
nothing so healing
running to where the sun sets
in my pond
overwhelming
I feel to forget
escaping your dwelling
I finally braced death

Yet your breath
still remains on my neck

the older I get
the shorter it seems to be
where my life's spent
found my way out of misery
and how did I get to be so lucky
finally gave in
and let life just love me

High
I don't wanna miss a moment
now that I'm set free
Goodbye
lonely nights I left broken
your no longer apart of me

the farther I walk
the better it seems to feel
just let my mind talk
soothing my soul and let my heart heal
forever I thought, this pain will lye in my field
but with my sorrows I dropped everything
that was holding me still

High
I don't wanna miss a moment
now that I'm set free
Goodbye
lonely nights I left broken
your no longer inside of me

thought i'd always stay the same
stuck in the same old plain
confused, don't even know my name
       My God Almighty
i'm insane!
up in flames, covered in remains!
colt forced in chains!
the pain     its getting to my brain

well I'll harness this darkness from my heart and turn it all
into art

I plastered myself on the ones who did deceive me
I disguised myself as one of them
I felt this itching urge to scheme the mistreatings
till the night I reserved my right to self conceive sin

I tempered back
I wavered forth
I slid threw the crack and waited on word

and in my mind, it was the time, too end this flaw.
to correct this mistake
this misborted fake

so I downed my flaws

but he saw me, mislead in faith
and gave me back my strength
willing to forgive such a simple kid

I learned from my mistakes