he claims to just be blatantly honest.
but he calls me lovely.
and compliments me.
and listens wholly.
and has extreme dysmorphia towards my weight.
and reads my poetry.
and compliments it.
and treats me as if I possess some sort of innate value.
and makes me feel secure.
---
was he lying about being honest?
or am I lying to myself about my value?

Try to be strong as your world crumbles

Try to be strong when no one cares about you anymore

You don’t have anything they want

Try to be strong because they decided you are a waste of time

Try to hang on to your sanity when nothing is going you way

Turn your depression into anger when the few remaining bloodsuckers want what is left of you.

Make them never forget you.

I do not wish for death.
I wish for life.

Don't pretend to be knowledgeable
about that which you do not understand.

It's really annoying
and it's akin to misinformation.

Plus, anyone who knows a **** thing can see through your *******-
and you can't ******* a bullshitter.

you're so happy when I came
I wonder why you always call me by the same
until I found out that you have given me a name
the first time you hit me, I know you just want me to tame
but for me, I only want to hear your voice calling me and play a game
thank you for giving me the most cutest name in the world

lately I've been losing control, I think it's because of these whiskers
I'm sorry for destroying some of your slippers
maybe I just need your attention
and your affection
or maybe I'm just hungry
I began eating what I shouldn't be

thank you for feeding me the most delicious food in the world
even when I bit your charger's cord
I'm sorry for pooping on the floor
I was so nervous when you came home and opened the door
I thought you would hit me again
but I was wrong, instead,
you gave me a gentle pat on my head

thank you for walking with me
even I had chains on my neck
I know you just don't want me to be lost
you're holding me at all cost
thank you for letting me see the most beautiful places in the world
I love you, if only I could be heard
thank you for talking to me,
even you know I can't answer you back
thank you for giving me a bath
I feel so clean and also starting to love a cat
thank you for letting me sleep on your bed
when I feel so alone and cold outside, under the shed

you are the most wonderful person for me
you are the angel I always want to see
I hate it when you need to go and leave me
because I missed you from the moment you left me
you are the only one that makes me happy
I loved you since I was a puppy



and now I'm becoming old and weak
I feel so sad when I think that I only got a year of eight or nine
I will be always yours and I hope you will be always mine
I don't want to leave your side
you are my whole life
for you, I would take a bullet or a knife

so while I'm still alive,
thank you for taking care of me,
and if I die,

please don't forget me

I have nursed open wounds
Of people who carelessly
Ripped themselves open
To give away their hearts

Like a bandage
I soaked up all the blood
And only tasted their lonely
As I continued to provide care

But after a while
There is no need for me
Cuts will heal on their own
I know they always do

*AA

a minute of silence
looking at each other with patience
--we had the most perfect view
on heart avenue
sitting in these seats
where our heartbeats
first meet

you smell like love
thinking that stars are fairies
I wanna hold your hand with no worries

but I'm afraid,
that I might do something crazy


completely crazy,



like fall in love

Last night while I was dreaming
I saw you.
In a dark corner in a room
I called out your name over and over again
then you turned around and
I saw you smile.
It made my aching soul fill a little.
But instead of calling out my name you just turned back around.
I woke up with tears streaming down my brown dull eyes.
I had the chance to see you.
This was the best nightmare that I have had in a while.