There are days when I strongly dislike everything
And I mean, EVERYTHING
From the way I wake up to the sunlight outside  
From the way I brush my hair to the way I walk
From the coffee I drink to the reasons I can't sleep at night  
  I think you get the picture of my dislike season
   And it seems to me my dislike is for no reason
  Once in a while I feel like I don't belong here but-
    It stands to reason
  If I don't know where I belong
    Doesn't it  mean I just belong here?

Foreboding walkways
With weight of a million wreaths
Pulling in the walls

I watched him
He stepped out into sunshine
Stood staring around as if lost
Then took ten steps to stare at the sign
Memorial Hospital was what it read
And I couldn't imagine what thoughts
Were transpiring inside his head
I followed at a distance
To see what his day would bring
No thought of interacting or distracting
Just along with him I would string
He walked along for a mile or two
Just taking in the sights
And I almost started laughing out loud
As he fell backwards staring at some kites
Felt better when he took a  seat
He just seemed to find pleasure walking
Easily he was distracted
By the birds the flowers or the kites
To these he was extremely attracted
What goes through his mind
This huge hulking man... like was carved of stone
On the third day he sat on a bench for 5 hours
Staring out at the ocean seeing something only he was shown
Those 5 days that early June I followed him
9 a.m. to Twilight's dimming veil
So Friday morning was as usual
8:30 a.m. coffee at the Sidewalk Cafe
When I saw him standing at the rail
Once I noticed him he stepped around and approached
Excuse me he said  do I know you?
I've noticed you've been following me
But I haven't known what to do
I think... I think I have it figured out though
Then he smiled a smile and cocked his head
I'd be very pleased if today you would walk with me
Unless you'd like to continue following instead
Although....
he softly said ...I'd be grateful
To share with you each wonderful new surprise
And share the joy on your face knowing
That I'm seeing it all for the first time through your father's eyes

There are some things in life that are not to be denied for right then and there I laid my head down on my crossed arms and I cried and I cried  wondering if i can  regain my ability to talk as he stood quietly, solid as a stone until I looked up and said thank you I'd love to join you on your walk.
My name is ...............................

****
what did i do
i have totally gone nuts
this must be a mistake
it must be
or maybe not

c.a

is she essential?
does she live on purpose?
each month she bleed
she endures
she gives birth
she nurtures
and yet society sees her
as inferior to men

c.a.

My fears crushed me
until
You crushed all my fears.

those brains are delicious
- my favorite, in fact -

but let them rest
for a white-hot minute

rouse that ancient
heart center hum
om home, love

I hope
you make it

with
or without me