I don't always know
      How to lay my hands.

When you seem to arch (rustling of ground)/hips, face, hair.
Brilliance. (And innocence is a warm company) to be given on such a
                      day.

This friend I have is one I know
She would never want to go
Something's burning from inside
I can't bear to let it hide
Another moment, I fear the worst;
I decide to tell her first

Searching for courage, but it's tough;
I don't think I have enough
Finally, I say the words
Though every single sentence hurts
The fear is cutting through my bones
My heart is beating through my toes

After I have spilled it all
I look up and silence falls
She begins to grab her things
My fresh tears begin to sting
I reach my hand out for a touch
She flinches and says "You're ******* up"

I can't believe what I've just heard
But I remember every word
Clear as crystal inside my head
I'll be silent forever instead
I can't do this anymore;
I feel my heart slam shut its door

She ran fast away from me
She didn't even hear my scream
I kick, I cry, I pound my head
I can't believe I've lost my friend
This friend was one I thought I knew;
She walked out right on cue

There is a man that lives in me,
He's one that few can see,
He's stronger than i ever was or ever dreamed to be,
The one that took the right path,
The one who is found for i am lost,
I dreamed of you,
I dreamt that all i was ,
Was just a part of you,
Someday i will die in the fading summer light,
The dreams will be everything,
As i go into that gentle sweet goodnight,
And in my heart ill always know that it will be alright.

I find it hard to concentrate
when all I do is sit and wait
because nothing can alleviate the stress.

Anxiety is setting in
So I'm at it with the pen again
In hopes I can sort out this ******* mess.

Apologies for the fast pace,
It feels slow in last place
It's a **** shame when your helping hand's a drink.
I need a joy to see, the room's like 98 degrees so its hard for me to get it back in sync.

Crisp, candy, crunch
Eat them for breakfast, brunch, and lunch
Not dinner you say?
You can steal them away
For apples are not my main meal

I took a needle
Bright and clean
And threaded it through my ventricles

Tied a knot tight
Atop my atria
And hung my heart from my wrist

It felt warm in my palm
And slippery,
Afraid of being held too long

It swung from my wrist
Like a shackle
Like an invitation
Until I hid it in my sleeves in winter time

I hung my heart at my side;
I’d never lose it
And lose it I never did

But in the wind
And when I tossed at night
Slowly it rusted. And cracked

I turned my wrist over once
Just to show you
You pulled my heart from my wrist

And in your hands
It shattered
And the line drew taught

And there I hung.

From the strands of my heart
That you held in your hands
I dangled, still in your grasp

And I hung at your side
Like a prison ball
Like a prize

Lose me,
You never will

I am me
Don't just see
The pain inside
The make believe

I am me
Look away
The torn beliefs
The broken fray

I am me
Childish names
The stones and sticks
The countless shames

I am me
Still remember
The weak and mild
The fallen timber