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Vegy For Lust
Moon of lust...
My left hand is tire.
I am in search for love.
Lust love, I just want her...
With creativity.
With Love.
And with passion for love.
Let her blossom grow.
And then let me be,
The Vegetation at night.
my friend's boyfriend broke up with her.
(on her birthday)
he told her, (while she was already hurt by
the lack of care he'd given her) "we are not together."

confused. she asked him why.
his usual answer was: "you decided this months ago."

her memory as it was told to me,
she decided to end the relationship
after months of stress and a dislike for
him and herself.

after a few days, he'd made a horrible
plea for her heart and as weak hearts,
most likely do. she gave it back to him.

nothing changed, *** was still regular.
( not better, not any worse)
love was there, but only on her side.

after days of trying to talk and not annoy him,
he revealed that he was not in love with her,
he only liked her and stayed for so long,
as not to hurt her.

this hurt more than her heart could stand,
she thought it was going to pump its last
few breaths from the shock, she felt.

then after comfort from her sister,
she felt relief and free.
In the back of her mind, she knew the truth of him.
He didn't kiss her anymore, didn't ask for hugs, didn't
take photos together or try to hold her hand.

she was in love with a figment of her imagination
and he was better in her mind.

when she told him, that she already knew for a long time of her one-sided love. he seemed shocked that she knew. she told me

(how could one pretend so horribly to love me and seem to think I not
notice?)

Confused that she seemed to brush him off,
he decided to blame her for their failed relationship
due to her lack of emotion and telling herself that (she'll be fine.)

He wanted to break her down, have her crawling back to him
like before when her heart was weak and he was weak and alone
without her.

She asked me, why do men do this?
( play with your heart, blame you for equal failures, then leave you to clean up the mess)

I told her, I did not know.
Maybe, just him, wants you to feel how he feels.
Or maybe he wants to laugh and mock you for being so naive again, so
gullible.

She told me that he'd asked to fix it.
( I want to try again, I want to fix it.)
But there was nothing to fix.
There had been nothing there for years,
no love, no compassion, just a distance.

When I saw her a few years later,
she was with him,
it seems she did not take my words to heart
or her heart was too weak to leave him.

I just hope he really loves her now and if he hasn't,
then he's become a really good actor.
What I don't understand,
Is that I feel it when
We hold hands,
Or when she rests in my arms
And steals a quick glance,
When she thinks I'm not looking.

Or
When she half smiles,
And though shes been silent for awhile,
How there's a faint glimmer,
In those otherwise
Indifferent eyes.

How about when we tease
Each other, and talk ****?
Then we exhale
She rests her head on my chest
For a bit,
While her hand graces my thigh.

I feel it so strongly,
But I can't understand why
She won't say it
First?

My eyes feel so cloudburst.

I try not to make
It matter,
I know her better than that -
And for the sake
Of what we have,
I won't let it shake
Me, I let it be...

Call me an old young man -
I am old fashioned
In that sense,
I feel so juvenile
Cause I hated the word
"Boyfriend"
For the longest time
Yet it'd make me feel better,
Even if just for awhile.

Some of her peers know,
Through the affection we show,
But most don't
Is it a can't, or won't?
Perhaps I'm still a risk,
Cause I don't feel like a constant.
Maybe that's why sometimes she feels so...
Distant.

Is it real?
Is she worth it?
Of course it is,
Of course she is.

I can tell from all this
Fleeting bliss.

Cause I sense it,
When I'm half asleep,
With her curled up next to me.
Or when she places her lips
Ever lightly on my cheek,
When she runs her fingers through my hair,
In those moments,
I know she cares.

I try to think otherwise,
That its not a must.

I don't want to force her
To define what this is,
But I am selfish.
Because I need to know,
That shes willing to show,
That we are more than just friends -
That this is a means
That I am an end.

I know she loves me,
And that I love her
But sometimes
I need to make sure.

Am I that insecure,
To need to want more?
Grow up, Aidan.
So I watched the girl I loved cry over a girl who wasn't me
Wondering how someone so beautiful
Could be so
Broken.
But I still held her her in my arms
As she wept
Running my fingers through her hair
And down her back
Trying to piece back together what I could of her
While slowing breaking off
pieces of me
 May 2017 pussy plugger 3000
M
does it hurt knowing i'm hurting
does it burn knowing i'm burning
does the sting from your chaotic brain ever lead you to believe that the hurt will always hurt because of what you cant see  
- M.
Love at first sight
Wasn't for me
Until it was
everybody wants you
to be better than you already are
a better version
of their whom's
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