I want to be happy.
I really do.
I try to do the things that make me happy.
I eat my favorite foods.
I visit my favorite places.
I talk to my favorite friends.
I even try to meet new strangers.
I drink sometimes, but its not a problem.
I just want to be happy.
I put on a smile and I don't know why.
I don't feel anything.

I never feel anything.

I feel cold.
I feel numb.
I feel alone.

I am cold.
I am numb.
I am alone.

I look around and see a circle.
I see a small circle around me and the rest of the world.
I look around at the rest of the world and see...
I see blank faces.
I see smiles of empty sorrow.
I see laughter of hollow bones.

I see pain.
I see suffering.
I see hurt.

I'm blind to joy.
I'm blind to love.
I'm blind to happiness.

I'm blind to life.

I want to be heard.
I want to be freed.
I want to be. Loved.

I must be heard.
I must be freed.
I must be loved.

I have to be...
I wonder why else would I be here.

I wonder who would put me in this world to be nothing.

I wonder how I can love again.

I wonder where do I go from here.


I stare at the blank wall in front of me.
I picture a face of white.
I see the shapes shift and warp in and out of my perception.
I don't feel happy.
I don't feel.

I can't help but wonder...

I hear a knock at the door.
--
There was a sound.
There was a knock.

There was a girl.
There was shock.

There was a spark.
There was a park.
There was a dog.
There was a jog.

There she sat.
There I stayed.
There we kissed.
There I prayed.
There I swore, to always love.

There was the door.
There was the bed.
There was me in my head.
There was confusion.
There was suspicion.

There was her hand.

That made it all go away.
--
Looking back on it now.
I can still feel her warmth.

I loved her.
I really did.

She made me feel alive.
She made me feel again.

But I couldn't get rid of it.
The feeling.
Of nothing.
Of empty.
Of void.

Of sorrow.

I tried to make it better.
I tried to say I love you more.
I tried to be happy.

But I just couldn't.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I didn't know.
I swear I didn't know.

There was... a light.
There was a... fight.
There... was.

I swear there was.

I want to believe I loved her.

I want to believe she meant something to me.

But I can't.

I can't lie to myself.
I have never felt, never will feel.
Again.

I loved her.
I loved her so much that I had to be with her forever.

It didn't matter how.
It didn't matter that the rent was due.
It didn't matter that we would be kicked out.
It didn't matter that I wasn't eating.
It didn't matter that she wasn't happy.

It only mattered that she was with me.
It only mattered that she stayed.

But don't worry.
She won't ever leave.
Again.

I want to be happy.
I really do.
I try to do the things that make me happy.
I eat my favorite foods.
I visit my favorite places.
I talk to my favorite freinds.
I even try to meet new strangers.
I even try to meet new strangers.
I just want to be happy.



I just want. To be happy is to die.

I love you.

Now you can stay here forever,
No matter how, No matter why.

You'll always be beatiful to me.

Dead or not.

The songs we sing are all made of sorrow.
The light we shine, will always have a shadow.

Even though, I walk through this world.
I know that I won't find love, don't you see.
For how can I be the one for you.
When I can't even be the one for me.

The night goes on, whether we sleep.
There doesn't seem to be any remedy,
To this hurt that you've got me feelin,
I don't know what, but I need some healin,
in my heart there seems to be a hole, where there wasn't one before.

Where there wasn't one before.

For the sings we sing are all made of sorrow,
And light we shine, always cast a shadow,

Through the valley of death.
Through the mountains of life.
Through the walks of the water.

There's only one truth tonight.

Only one thing can never be untrue.

And that's because I love you.

She looked at me and I held her hand.
As we lay there by the ocean sand.
Told her I'd love her for eternity.
My love could fill up the ocean and the sea.
I'd always strive to forever keep her with me.

Until the waves came and swept her away.

I'm taking a backseat, to the rhapsody, ridiculous travesty,
Can't even think about how far I go without gravity, this tragedy.

I wake up every morning, and I'm doing nothing but mourning.
Over the lost souls, empty treasured bottles, drifting at sea, but you can't find it in yourself, to ever forgive me.
So I wake up and do the same thing, every way, every day, no way to sway the hay, needle in a haystack, thumb tack, remindin us that we ain't ever gonna find ourselves.

So we remind ourselves, that our lives aren't on the shelves,
We delve, yet we never dive, try to survive, in this crazy time,
And I.
Don't know what to tell you when your on the ground and cry and want to die.
So the night's light, not bright, can't see at this height, the fright, and might of the weight of the world. This never endin swirl of emotion, commotion never gonna keep at this notion that I can be somebody that I want to be.

Can't you see.

That this life ain't something to scoff at. When you take off the top hat and jacket, you're all just part of us this noise and racket, won't stop.

Til you make it to the top, and sing that you're the king, sittin on you're throne, you don't know how the bare bone of your work and hone,
those skills you get from regret and set the standard, so bet on it.
That you can be honest.

And it's honestly stupid.

There once was a boy,
who loved to play with others,
but then they took him.

When I was little I was afraid of needles.
The skinny shiny end, like the backs of beetles.
Mom holding my hand tight as I stood there. Feeble.
Telling me I was one of the bravest people.
She ever met.

Afterwards, I'd cry and lay there fetal.
She would tell me it was to prevent measles.
To stop me from looking like a red polka-dotted easel.
But I always told myself, they were evil.

And now, where am I?
The needle's no longer an enemy but an ally.
As I feel the cold metal devil,
and revel in this bed and unravel,
and elevate to feel my fate slipping,
I told myself I was on a higher level.

So that I could ignore the fact,
that I made a blood pact,
With the wrong pack,
of crack,
trying to find my sanity, is like a needle in a haystack,
maybe I need a life jacket,
to save me from drowning myself.
The white walls, and black shelves,
All stare at me like I'm deaf.
But I can hear.
I can hear just fine,
and find the time,
this time,
ill quit.
I swear it.

When I was little I was afraid of needles.
The skinny shiny end, like the backs of beetles.
And now, I'm staring into a mirror, and choking myself.
Trying to tell myself.

To get rid of this evil.

In the world to describe how much I love you.

ti amo

te amo
o
Anh yêu em
I love you

איך האב דיר ליב
o
я тебе люблю

There aren't enough languages either.