Lord, I cry out to you with a wrathful
heart.

I cry out with a heart of an anarchist
being shaped into a pacifist.

I want to put my fists through
the hearts of the oppressors.

I show them love.

I bleed onto my enemies.

I bleed for you.

I woke up,
and scavaged through my bed for my cellphone.
i realized,
my earpieces formed a noose around my neck
and my sheets,
already seem to wrap my body.
i commited suicide in my sleep.
funny.
I woke up this morning,
disappointed.
no texts.
I expected that, but i never failed to check every morning that i woke,
in case you remember me before you fall asleep.
I woken up from a nightmare.
And to be honest,
i was in a state of denial.
Did it happened,
did it not?
In reality and in sub-consciousness,
you wrecked me in both.

(FAH)

heaven and hell lives in me
the fires of my anger destroy
me from the inside

deep rage rises from nowhere,
and I feel deep compassion for myself
despite my short comings

I am both angel and demon
rolled  up into one
I love them both