every snowflake is different
as snow queen
maybe I just got lost
finding the one that best suited me

Its winter again
Times’ Getting colder, and darker
And she’s coming home
To take away my lover-
My passionate therapy
Oh she’s come to take my best friend
And whatever is left of my sanity
**Take it, take it all and put them in ******* bags
-But don’t you ******* touch my poetry

Your fingers were rough and calloused
Always rough and calloused
Work was all you knew
Besides women and *****
***** and women
Your soft sad smile I remember well
And your smell
I could get high from the heavy mix of wood and paint
Your black hair slicked back
I loved when you took me to bars
You'd buy me an ice cream or some pop
Oh, those were the good ol' days
When you flirted with waitresses and bartenders alike
I was so niave
A blissful thing, to be a fool
A beautiful fool

The whites of your eyes were yellow
Yellow like old parchment
The heavy dark bags beneath them made you old
The disgust was plain
And your words like *****
The first tears spilled across my lips
And I ran, not looking back
In my infinite sadness I flourished
The dark whispering deadly soft words in my ears
And so I never forgot

It's ironic
How beautiful it is
The way it flows in a thin line
Drops of pain and sorrow
That puddle up on your bathroom floor
Drained
No longer a part of you
You start to think
*"Maybe if enough is lost
The pain will go away."

Every man I've tried to love,
shouts back as they trudge away,
"I ******* tried!"

When I'm drunk and heaving
repugnant half- sentences
in a parking lot
too stubborn to
crumple into their suddenly forgiving arms,
they turn around with the same
pulverized pride.

And I remain staring at the
confetti of conceding
under my feet.

Do you see? With your light brown eyes;
That I want YOU and not your bashful disguise.
For every hair, that blows in this November wind,
Kissing the smile you try so hard to hold in,
And I hope that my actions tell you, what I should’ve said.
I think I might just love you-
                 But you’re probably better off dead.