There in the garden
I waited and waited
So patiently.

I waited for hours,
Days, almost a century.

There in the garden
I could have died
From longing.

Many a thing occurred
Before my sight.

Many died,
Many were born,
Some were reborn.

I waited for days
And the sun stood still.

It was only a minute.


--Watercolour

Forgive my eyes for being blind.
They only see pain.

Forgive my hands for shaking.
I can't stop them from being afraid.

Forgive this head for over-thinking.
I can't feel safe.

Forgive my tears for being absent.
My eyes are not aloud to cry.

Forgive my body for not being able to feel.
It isn't strong enough to bear it's pain.

Forgive my heart for being silent.
It was silenced long ago by a bad man.

She moaned the most painful moan
Drowned by the sound of laughter,
Veiled by always looking happy
And nobody heard it.


F.Z.N

my heartbeat dances
to the sound of his breathing;
short, fast, deep
soft, slow, heavy.

If you want to **** me,
just hold your breath.


-- Eleanor

It is in the very feeling of hurt
That I begin
To feel
Nothing.


-- Eleanor